Addison
“Nick,” I called as I followed him. “Nick, wait.”
He turned to me, avoiding my eyes, scratching at the sexy scruff at his neck. “Yes, Addison? Something you need?” His cold eyes met mine. “Maybe my family home? More alimony? Perhaps the car I just bought to replace the ones you claimed you needed?”
Yikes. I probably deserved that.
When Nicholas had told me he’d cheated on me, I was more than hurt. I was completely heartbroken. The only thing I wanted for a long while was for him to feel how I had felt when he told me about it. I wanted to watch him suffer, because I was suffering.
I still was.
My throat thickened. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He eyed me hard and smirked. Lifting a hand, he uttered a bored, “Goodnight Addison,” then started to walk away. Again.
I needed to talk to him. There was no time like the present. Taking a deep breath, I rushed out, “I want to sell my half of the company.”
He stopped walking and his back went rigid. It took a few minutes for what I’d said to sink in, and then he turned to face me, his eyes narrowing. “I don’t know what you’re playing at…”
I shook my head slowly. “No games. I want out. I want to sell it to you. Cheap.”
He took a single step closer. “Why?”
I looked to the ground. “We had a great idea when we started this business, Nick. I loved this company. It was my baby.” I paused a moment before I admitted my weakness. My voice faltered. “But it changed me, and I don’t like the person I’ve become.”
The harsh angles of his face softened. “Addison…”
My eyes closed tightly and I begged, “No, don’t say anything. Please. Let me finish.” I held my eyes shut as I confessed my truth. My heart raced. “I love this business, and it’ll be hard to let go.” Here goes nothing. “But it couldn’t be harder than losing the person I love the most.”
I opened my eyes in time to take in the stunned disbelief on his face. He moved to step closer. I raised my hand. “Just let me talk. Let me get this out. It’s been a long time coming.” I puffed out a breath, not really knowing where to start. “I sabotaged our marriage.”
Confusion marred his face. “What?”
I shook my head. “Not intentionally, but I did sabotage it.” I wrung my hands together nervously. “I’ll regret that most of all, and I’m sorry.”
He blinked. Then he looked at me in a way I’d always loved. In a way that made my insides flutter, still, to this day. “Addie…”
I laughed humorlessly, pushing my hair behind my ear. “You haven’t called me that in a long time.”
Nick stepped forward, inching closer. His eyes never leaving mine, he uttered softly, “You haven’t been Addie in a long time.”
My smile was sad. I was suddenly tired. “No, I suppose not.”
Finally, he stood right in front of me. He hesitated a moment before he asked, “Why did you keep my name?”
The emotions hit me so hard that I felt my knees almost give way. My eyes stung from unshed tears. I blinked them away and swallowed past the thickness in my throat. My lip trembled and I uttered my quiet but hoarse response. “It was all I had left of you.”
His eyes flashed then burned. He reached for me, the tips of his fingers brushing mine. “Do you still love me?”
Tears fell from my eyes. I tried my hardest to not break down. “Always.”
He stared at me, blinking in shock. “Well, I’ll be damned.” Then he asked, “Do you know why I kissed Amber?”
My nose bunched. “Kissed? I think you mean—”
But I was cut off. He shook his head. “I never slept with her, Addie.”
My heart raced. I felt the blood rush up my neck in a hot flush. I whispered, “What? You said you cheated on me.”
His face became shadowed. “I did. I kissed her, and she wasn’t you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. “I don’t—”
Nick smiled sadly. “I did it to see if you even gave a shit. And rather than being upset, you lifted your nose and told me I’d hear from your lawyer. Not once did you ask why or even shed a tear.” He leveled me with a sad look. “You didn’t care.”
I scoffed hard. “I didn’t care?” I rolled my eyes. “I cried for weeks. I still do on occasion. You know why I acted that way? Because you were done with me. I didn’t want you to have the satisfaction of seeing how hurt I was.” I looked down at my shoes. “You made me feel disposable. How was a meant to react?”
His large hands gripped my shoulders and he got in my face. “Like a normal person. Cry. Get angry. Throw a vase. Shit.
Hit me
! Show some goddamn emotion, Addie.”
My body tingled at the feeling of his hands on my naked skin. “What you did hurt, Nick. I went into the mode that felt the most comfortable. Self-preservation.”
His hands came off my shoulders. He lifted them and gently cupped my cheeks. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
I smiled tiredly. “And I’m sorry I turned into a raging bitch.” He held me still and I paused momentarily. “Now what?”
He smiled then, one of the smiles I used to see on a daily basis, when we would cuddle on the sofa and watch TV while eating pizza. It was a comforting smile, and something told me things could only get better from here.
Nick held my cheeks and looked at me a moment.
Really
looked at me. Searching for the old Addison he knew. The person I was going to be from this day on. His smile faltered. He leaned down and brought his lips to mine, kissing me hard and deep.
He tasted like mint and beer. He tasted like home.
Reaching up, I gripped his forearms and kissed him back with everything I had. If this was to be our last kiss, I wanted it to be so good that it hurt. After a minute, we both pulled back, eyes wide, panting.
“Oh,” I whispered.
Nick lowered his forehead to mine and chuckled. “‘Oh’ indeed.”
It took a moment, but I smiled. My smile turned into a chuckle. And then we were both laughing.
And it was better than good.
It was amazing.
Mia
The Desperate and Dateless Ball was in full swing. The deejay played music from the eighties and early nighties, one hit wonders and power ballads—all the hits I would love to have danced to myself.
I managed to talk Ella into attending as my guest. I had my reasons for doing this, but she was yet to find out why. I was completely surprised when she agreed. Honestly, I thought she’d about given up on men all together after what that asshole Rick had done to her.
I watched from the sidelines as men and women, dressed to the nines, eyed each other nervously from across the room. Most of the women came with friends, but the majority of the men came alone. Perhaps it was a pride thing.
The doors opened at eight p.m., and close to nine, the dance floor was packed. Mostly with women. The odd brave man would come along and speak to a woman he liked the look of. It made me smile seeing the very first newly acquainted couple share their first dance.
“Go dance,” I called over the music to a pouting Ella.
She stood with her back to the wall, arms crossed over her chest defiantly. “No.”
She may have acted like she didn’t care, but her gorgeous black dress and teased curls told me different. “C’mon. Take a guy out there and dance with him. You’ll make his night.”
Her narrowed eyes landed on me. “Would you stop pushing? What’s the matter with you?”
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling. “All right, I’ll leave it alone.”
The emcee, a popular radio host from our local radio station, took to the stage. He was a handsome man in his forties with dark hair cut neatly and smiling brown eyes. He took the microphone and called into it, “Good evening, all, and welcome to this year’s D&D!” The crowd cheered. He went on, “How awesome does this place look tonight?”
The crowd went off again. One guy even wolf-whistled, and my ego inflated my head two sizes.
I peered around the room and smiled. It was exactly as I had pictured it to be. The crew we hired to decorate did an amazing job, sitting this event on the fence of chic and fun. The colors of the evening were white, black, and gold, and I was more than impressed with the venue and its catering services. The deejay was a guy who Ella had hired before for a Christmas party, so we knew he’d be well received, and the radio station was extremely accommodating.
The emcee calmed the crowd and spoke with a smile. “A quick thanks to Ella and Mia from Addison Limited for their time and all the hard work they put into the ball.” He looked over to the both of us, pointing, as a spotlight just about blinded me. “There they are. C’mon. Give them a round of applause.”
I stepped back into Ella, mortified at the sudden attention, and she clutched my arm, chuckling. The crowd did their thing, clapping, cheering, and whistling, before the emcee took the unwanted attention away once more. “Good job, ladies! Now, we’re going to pump up the jams; party like it’s your birthday, and remember: you’re here to mingle, so get out there and do your thing.”
The deejay played Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” and the crowd cheered in appreciation.
The night was turning out better than I expected. I’d checked and double-checked that everyone was on top of their designated jobs, and thankfully, there weren’t any screw-ups or double bookings on the day. Having Ella by my side made my confidence boost. She was becoming my security blanket. She had years of experience on me, and her knowledge on all things events was astounding. I was in complete awe of her. She was a great friend too.
Which was exactly why I did what I did.
She turned her back to the dance floor and sighed. “Can I get out of here? This is depressing.”
I watched the man approach from behind. I said a stern, “No,” as he tapped her shoulder.
Without turning, she shook her head. “Beat it, buddy,” then whined, “I’ve been here long enough, Mia. Please, let me leave.”
I almost stomped my foot, but kept my cool. “Someone wants your attention.”
She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t come here to dance.” As the fingers tapped her shoulder again, she repeated louder, “I said I didn’t come here to dance.”
I fought my smile and said softly, “Maybe you should turn around.”
Her shoulders bunched as the fingers lightly tapped her once more. I watched her silently fume. Steeling her shoulders, she turned to face her secret admirer. “Can’t you take a hint?”
Laughter bubbled into my throat, but I stopped it by clamping my hand over my mouth tightly. Ella’s face turned confused as she looked up, then up, then up some more until she looked into his eyes. “Hey. Hi. Hey. Um…”
“Mike,” the bartender from the bar we’d gone to spoke gently, his voice rough. He held out his hand and took Ella’s without permission, not shaking it, just holding it, cradling it, as though she were the most precious thing he’d ever seen.
“Mike,” she repeated dumbly. Snapping out of her stupor, she responded softly, “I’m Ella.”
He smiled then, and it beamed. “I know, sweetheart.” He winked at me and I waved, smiling. “A little bird told me that if I made it tonight, you’d dance with me.”
Ella turned to face me, never pulling her hand from Mike’s tattooed hand. “Oh, is that right?”
My eyes widened and I shook my head at the same time Mike nodded. “Yep.” He must’ve seen the hesitation in her eyes, because his smile gentled. “You’re not gonna make a liar out of your friend now, are you?”
But still, she hesitated. And I knew exactly what she was thinking. I stepped forward and gripped her arm. “Can I speak to Ella alone, Mike? We’ll be just a second.”
He released her, albeit reluctantly, and I pulled her a short distance away. She shook her head, clearly distressed. “No. No, Mia. Why?”
“Because he likes you! And you can hide all you like behind that crazy hair and attitude, but this is me, El. I know you like him.”
She turned her sad eyes up to me. Blinking away tears, she choked out, “He thinks I’m easy. He was there. He saw what happened; that’s the only reason he wants me. Just for a bathroom fuck.”
Then I turned mama bear on her. “Hey!” I nearly yelled. “Do you think I’d let a man hurt you again? I was there too, honey. I saw what happened. I held you in my arms after it happened. Do you think I want to see that again?” She didn’t respond. “Mike is good people. He’s our people. He’s sweet, and funny, and…” I glanced over to him, watching as he stood tall, his muscular arms crossed over his chest, scaring anyone within an arm’s distance away. “…he’s a little rough around the edges, sure, but he’s honest and he likes you.
You
, Ella.”
I saw jealously flash in her eyes. “How do you know how he is?”
I grinned, glee apparent. “Possessiveness is a good color on you.” She flipped me the bird and I laughed. “I may have gone down to the bar with my brother last week. We caught Mike at the end of his shift and he remembered me; well, he remembered you. He came over to our booth and asked about you. He seemed genuinely concerned.”
Her face softened. “He did?”
I nodded. “Yes. And he was a little overly concerned about whether I gave you his note too. I asked why he didn’t put his number on it, and you know what he said?”
She shook her head, eyes wide. “What did he say?”
My heart melted at the memory. “He said…” I fought a dreamy sigh. “He said, ‘It wasn’t the gentlemanly thing to do.’”
Ella’s hesitation disappeared. She smoothed her hands down her dress and turned on her heel. I followed at a quick jog. For a little woman, she was quick. She stopped toe-to-toe with Mike, reached out, and took his hand. “Would you like to dance with me?”
He looked down at her like she was the only person in the room. His lip lifted in the corners and he entwined his fingers with hers. “Thought you’d never ask.”
They walked onto the dance floor and slow danced to “Mickey” by Toni Basil. In fact, they slow danced all night long, getting closer and closer until I couldn’t tell them apart. And just like that, my night had gone from good to great.
I wasn’t to know it wouldn’t stay that way for very long.
Not until I saw him.
I glanced around the room, mouthing the words to OutKast’s “Hey Ya!” when I spotted him. He was dancing with a pretty, short, petite redhead with thick-rimmed glasses and a killer smile.
He was laughing at something she said then he turned to face me. And he did something horrible. He smiled.
Matt Quinn was working. He was working at
my
event. With a pretty redhead. And later, he would take her home and fuck her. Because that was what Matt Quinn did.
The very thought turned my insides. He knew all of this, and he had the nerve to
smile
at me? My stomach clenched painfully as my heart thundered in my chest. I felt faint. Blood roared through my ears and my palms began to sweat. Was this payback for my going on a date?
I didn’t ever remember telling Quinn the name of the event I was planning. I would have to rule this a coincidence. A terrible, horrifying coincidence.
My heart hammered in my chest as I watched him dance with his ward. He leaned down to whisper something into her ear, placing a familiar hand at her shoulder.
I couldn’t watch. It was too painful. I spun on my heels, begging my feet to take me away. They took me away at a fast pace, not stopping until I reached the women’s bathroom.
Unshed tears stung my eyes, and just as I reached out to push the ladies’ room door open, a large hand came down on my shoulder. “Mia, wait.” He spun me around, brought his face down to mine, and searched my miserable expression and bright eyes. His voice softened. “Oh, baby. What’s wrong?” He reached down, caressing my wrists gently in a comforting gesture that only made my blood boil.
“What’s wrong?” I repeated on a whisper. I straightened a little and my voice cracked. “What’s wrong?” I leaned forward an inch and hissed, “You’re here.
That’s
what’s wrong, Matt.”
His brows furrowed at my tone. He rose to his full height and shrugged lightly, weakly. “I didn’t know this was your event until the emcee announced it, I swear. I realize it’s not professional to—”
I barked a laugh, pulling my wrist from his light grip. “You think I give a shit about professionalism right now?”
Quinn watched me a long moment before muttering, “I thought we were getting past what happened. I thought—”
I cut him off, voice heavy with sarcasm. “You thought it would be cool to bring your work right under my goddamn nose? You thought I’d want to see you with some floozy you’re going to take home at the end of the night and f—”
Something changed in Quinn’s eyes then, and I knew I’d spoken harshly out of anger. He lowered his voice, thinking hard before speaking. “Michelle is a nice lady.” He looked over at his date, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from following. “She’s about as much of a floozy as you are, Mia.” The woman, Michelle, stood at the opposite side of the room, against the wall, looking around uncomfortably, rubbing her arms in a soothing way.
Quinn spoke even softer. “She’s having a hard time dealing with something that happened to her when she was just a girl, something bad. She’s an intelligent, sweet woman deserving of a night out without feeling threatened.”
My stomach lurched violently. I was a horrible person. My jealousy had turned me into a shrieking banshee. A spoiled brat. A
mean girl
.
I hated those girls.
Placing his hands in his pockets, he rocked back on his heels. “She actually reminds me a little of you.”
I swiped angrily at the tear that had dared to escape. Tonight was a good night, goddamn it! What the hell happened?
Suddenly beat, I stated tiredly, “Get back to your date, Quinn.”
He stood silently a moment before stating, “I miss you.”
I miss you too.
Fuck my
fucking
life!
Fingers at my elbow made me suddenly realize I was standing in front of the ladies’ room, looking out into nothingness. He asked quietly, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I forced a smile. “I’m fine. I’ll be off duty soon enough.” My act of calm failed miserably when nice-lady-Michelle began making her way toward us. “But you’re not. Have fun tonight, Quinn. Give your
date
her money’s worth.”
Pushing open the ladies’ room door, my heavy feet shuffled in. As soon as the door swung closed, I rubbed at the ache of my racing heart.
So…that’s what being in love feels like.
It was horrible. Dreadful. Then…
Why did I want it more than anything?
Quinn was gone.
It was a little past midnight and I hadn’t seen him—or Michelle—for over an hour, which meant I’d spent the good part of that hour wondering—in graphic detail—what he was doing with kind, sweet Michelle.
I found myself blanching at the thought. Simultaneously, my chest ached. It was something to know the man you loved was an escort. It was a whole other thing seeing him in action with another woman. It hurt.
Bad
.