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"Have some pie, sweetheart," I murmured, placing
my hand on the nape of her neck to caress her skin. She seemed so tense and I
didn't want her to feel intimidated by the oversexed intruder at our table.
Julia smiled at me and had a bite of her dessert.

"Good?" I asked.

"So good," she said, offering me a forkful, which
I happily accepted. Then she leaned forward and kissed me.

"You had a little whipped cream there." She
grinned before she pulled back, licking her lips.

"Oh God, you guys are so sweet I think I'm going to
hurl," Matt complained, but the smile on his face showed that he was only
half-serious.

"Oh please," Julia said, waving her hand
dismissively. "Like you aren't exactly the same when you're with
Meg."

"I am not!" Matt huffed.

"Girls talk, you know?" Julia laughed. "I
know all about the flowers and cuddling and holding hands when you guys take a
walk. Oh, and driving outside of the city to look at the stars. It's very
romantic, Matt. Good for you."

My brother's face turned red and for a second I thought I
might actually see steam coming out of his ears. It was awesome. Julia simply
smiled and took another bite of her pie.

"There's nothing wrong with treating a girl right. Your
brother taught me that," she said. "I'm glad Meg has you and you
turned out to be a nice guy. Now I won't have to hurt you for breaking her
heart."

"I, uh, wouldn't do that," he said, obviously
uncomfortable with all this talk about feelings.

"I know," Julia said, patting his arm lightly,
which made him smile.

There was a lull in the conversation while Matt and Julia
finished their dessert and the three of us more or less ignored Michelle. It
wasn't a very nice thing to do, but I couldn't bring myself to care. She had no
business even being here at our table after the way she had treated me in the
past.

"So how did you two meet?" Michelle suddenly asked.

"I picked him up at Matt's bar," Julia answered
with a small laugh.

"Oh, really?" I asked. "I thought I was the
one who picked
you
up. I did give you a ride home and saved you the long
walk."

I was just kidding. I may have given her a ride, but I never
would have had the courage to take it any further than that. Julia was
definitely the one to thank for bringing us together.

"Nice, bro," Matt said, grinning. "Saving the
damsel in distress. Works every time."

"Silly boys," Julia laughed. "I could have
taken a cab if I really wanted to. I had money in my apartment, after all. I
just thought it would be a lot more fun to have Stephen rescue me."

Both of us stared at her.

"I was right," she added with a wink. "That
damsel in distress thing works both ways, you know."

"Well played," Matt chuckled.

"Yeah, so that's how we got together," Julia said
lightly. "I guess Stephen got a taste of something he liked because he
kept coming back for more."

"Did I ever," I murmured, leaning over to nuzzle
her neck with my lips. "You're delicious," I whispered so that only
Julia could hear it and noted with satisfaction that my words made her shiver.

"Isn't that sweet," Michelle said in a saccharine
voice. There was an uncomfortable silence and I jumped when Matt's cellphone
started ringing. He looked so happy for the distraction that I almost laughed.

"It's Megan!" he half-yelled with unmasked glee.
"I have to take this." He practically ran from the table of
awkwardness and I couldn’t blame him one bit.

"So…Matt told me that this is your first time meeting
Stephen's family," Michelle said to Julia. It wasn't, but since I hadn't
told my brother about our parents walking in on us having sex I could see why
he would assume that.

"In a way," Julia replied vaguely.

"I just love Joanne and Richard," Michelle gushed.
"They're almost like my family, too. We used to have so much fun together
at these parties when we were younger. Didn't we, Stephen?"

I didn't say anything, giving her a noncommittal shrug. I
had spent most of them following her around like a lapdog begging for scraps
while she flirted with the older boys and ignored me. That was hardly fun in my
recollection.

"And Matt also said that this is your first garden
party?" Michelle continued.

Julia nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "Yes, I'm
enjoying it so far.”

"There's something special about one's first, isn't
there?" Michelle mused with a vicious glint in her eyes. "It's always
the one you remember."

I couldn't believe it. It was painfully obvious that Michelle
wasn't talking about garden parties. Was she actually trying to make it seem as
though our one time together had been memorable in a good way? It had been the
exact opposite and it was probably the one thing I would change about my past
if I could.

I glanced at Julia and flinched. I had never seen her look
so angry before. I could tell that she was trying to control herself, probably
because we were in public, but I didn't know if she would be able to keep it up
if Michelle continued this nonsense. Which she did.

"It seems that everything after the first one pales in
comparison. They might be entertaining, but when you look back it's always that
first one that comes to mind."

That's it! She is completely delusional!

I was about to set her straight when Julia smiled and
nodded.

"You're absolutely right, Ms. Kingston," she said
pleasantly.

WHAT? No, she most certainly is not! I can't let Julia
think that losing my virginity to that awful woman is was the most memorable
sex of my life!

Michelle looked just as surprised as I was that Julia was
agreeing with her. I had to make her understand that even though Michelle had
been my first, it was Julia who had truly awakened my sexuality and taught me
how wonderful it was to make love, have sex, or fuck, as we sometimes called
it. All of it was Julia's doing and she had to know that.

"Gosh, I can't even tell you how many firsts Stephen
and I have shared," Julia continued, and held up her hand. "Let's
count them, shall we?" She looked pensive for a second.

"Well, this is the first time that I've attended a
family function with a boyfriend, so that's one."

Really? I was sure that the asshole would have had that
privilege. He never even introduced her to his family? God, he sounds like such
a…well, an asshole!

"Your first experience with oral sex. Isn't that right,
baby?" Julia continued.

I grinned. "Yes. Um, giving
and
receiving,"
I answered. "That should count for two."

"Good point," she agreed and checked off two more
fingers. "What else…oh, first home-cooked meal that a guy prepared
specially for me. He makes delicious Italian food.”

"First time someone brought me hangover food," I added
eagerly. "And you're the first girl to ever give me a massage."

"First guy to give me multiple orgasms. I'm really
happy about that one," she said, looking Michelle square in the eye.

"Really?" I whispered. Julia nodded and mouthed
the word “
amazing
.”

Yes! I am the man! A sexual savant, even!

I had never felt more masculine pride than I did at that
moment. I also felt a giant surge of love and gratitude toward the woman at my
side. I knew that Julia was doing this to illustrate just how little the past
meant and what really mattered were the things we had shared. And the fact that
my sexual prowess was being presented in front of Michelle didn't hurt either.
In fact, it felt pretty damn good to watch my beautiful girlfriend shove that
piece of information in Michelle's face. I took Julia's hands in mine and gazed
into her eyes.

"First 'I love you,' " I said softly.

"That's the most important one of all," she
whispered. I nodded before leaning in and pressing my lips against hers. As
always, she was warm and soft, and this time she tasted like apples, cream, and
coffee. She sighed against my lips and I tilted her head to deepen the kiss. I
was lost in her and only vaguely registered the sound of an angry huff and a
chair scraping, followed by heels walking away at a fast pace. Julia pulled
back and smiled.

"I guess she got the point."

"I guess so." I grinned and kissed her again.
"I just don't understand her motivation at all."

"You don't?"

"No, women are a mystery to me most of the time,"
I admitted sheepishly.

"Even me?"

"Sometimes," I said, realizing the truth in the
statement. "I just want to make you happy and I'm worried that I'll do the
wrong thing. This is so new to me."

"It's new to me, too. Let's just promise each other
that we won't run away if things get complicated. I want this to work out. I
want you, Stephen. I want us."

I hadn't expected the conversation to become so serious, but
I was so happy that Julia felt the way she did.

"I want you, too, Julia. I can't promise you that there
won't be arguments and disagreements. I mean, we're different in a lot of ways,
but I
can
promise you that I will love you and treat you right through
all of it. You make me happier than I ever thought possible and I never want to
lose you. You’re everything to me."

"Damn it, Stephen," she whispered, blinking
rapidly. "You're going to make me cry in front of your family. You and
your beautiful words."

"Sorry," I chuckled, even though I wasn't really
all that sorry. I liked that I was able to affect her and say the right things
to convey how much I loved and wanted her. I handed her a clean napkin and she dabbed
under her eyes.

"I feel the same way," she said and looked up at
me. "You make me so happy. Look at me, for fuck's sake. I'm so happy, I'm
crying."

I smiled at her sweet, crass words. She wouldn't be my Julia
if she didn't say “fuck” at least once every so often.

"By the way," she said after she finished wiping
her eyes. "I totally have that Michelle woman pegged."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll bet you anything that she's never had great
sex in her life. You should have seen her face when she was watching us upstairs
earlier. She was
so
jealous. Not just because I have you, but also
because she wants what we have together. It's kind of sad, actually."

"Do you really think so?"

"It makes sense. She probably made you feel shitty
afterward because it wasn't the first time she didn't come and it made her feel
better about herself. That's the only reason I can think of. Either that, or
she's just really evil. She definitely wanted another go with you today."

"It doesn't matter," I said, taking her hand.
"The past doesn't matter. I only want you."

"Agreed," she said with a brilliant smile.
"Now, are you going to introduce me to some more people? I love the way
you look all giddy when you say I'm your girlfriend."

I laughed and stood up. "Let's go, sweetheart."

The rest of the party was wonderful. We didn't see Michelle
again, but even if we had, it wouldn't have mattered. She couldn't come between
Julia and me. We sat with my parents for a while and they got to know my girl a
little better. My mother even invited us over for dinner the following week. I
was so happy I felt as though I could fly.

Julia hit it off with my grandmother immediately and despite
my light reprimands on the dangers of smoking, the two of them snuck off for a
cigarette, cackling like girlfriends. Gran, who had a reputation for being very
eccentric, was impressed by Julia's spunk and witty comebacks. After the two of
them left me to my own devices, my parents came over, and they had nothing but
nice things to say. My mother liked that my girlfriend was smart and focused
despite her young age, and my stepdad seemed plain infatuated with her charm.
All in all, the day was a complete success.

The night ended in fireworks. First in the sky above my
parents' neighborhood…and then back home in my bedroom, where Julia and I made
passionate love until the sun came up.

Chapter 11

 

The low hum of the needle mixed with
the rock music softly playing over the speakers. Julia breathed deeply through
her nose, squeezing my hand.

“Does it hurt, sweetheart?” I murmured.

She looked up, giving me a lopsided grin.

“Like a son of a bitch,” she replied, “but it’s good. A good
pain.”

I smiled at her. Julia had mentioned wanting another tattoo—something
to honor her grandfather—and now she was getting it. She’d told me about
her other tattoo, the one below the nape of her neck, and how she’d gotten it
when she turned eighteen to honor her parents. It had merely looked pretty to
me, but it was actually a Celtic symbol for family, since Julia’s ancestors
were Irish. Now, she wanted one to add her Pops to her skin with a small knot
meaning “wisdom.” The whole experience seemed cathartic for her and I was happy
she had chosen to share it with me.

“It’s like remembering and letting go, at the same time,”
she said. “He’ll always be a part of me.” A single tear ran down her cheek. I
reached up to wipe it away, making eye contact with the tattoo artist.

“Need a break?” she asked Julia, lifting the needle from her
skin.

“No, I’m OK,” she answered, looking up at me again, smiling.
“I’m more than OK.”

My heart skipped a beat as I beamed back at her. I knew what
she meant. We were so much more than merely OK. The summer had been amazing.
The best of my life, so far. For me, summers had long been a time for quiet
contemplation and solitude. Even as a kid, I’d never had many friends, and had
often been on my own. In recent years, I’d spent the break from school working
on papers, preparing for the fall semester, and going out for the occasional
movie on a weeknight, if I was feeling particularly adventurous.

My life had been so sad, and I hadn’t even realized it at
the time. I never truly believed it would get better. But now it was.
Everything was different now that Julia was my girlfriend, and throughout the
summer we had been practically inseparable. She had stayed at my apartment
every night without exception and the only times we were apart was when I went
to the gym and lunch with my brother and Shawn, or when she met up with her
girlfriends for dinner. Two weeks ago, I’d invited her to come with me to Napa
for my annual wine trip. It was our first trip together as a couple, and it had
been wonderful.

We stayed at a romantic B&B, walked everywhere holding
hands, went to tastings, and made love under the clear blue sky. I wasn't even
afraid of getting caught and finally got to live out my dream of being with her
outside. Julia wore pretty dresses with flat sandals and her hair down the
entire time. I must have taken about a hundred pictures of her looking
radiantly beautiful in the sunlight.

Now, I found myself in Los Angeles, in a tattoo parlor,
holding the hand of my beautiful girlfriend. This was her trip; she’d put us up
in a fancy hotel, taken me shopping at all of her favorite stores, and she’d
even convinced me to go to a concert with her. Me! At a rock show! The music
had been a little too loud and it wasn't exactly my taste, but like most things
we did, it was an adventure, and seeing how happy it made Julia that I was part
of her world made it all worthwhile.

“Ah, shit,” Julia hissed, gripping my hand a little tighter
when the tattooist moved to a new spot. “That stings.”

“You’re doing great,” I told her.

“Talk to me. Distract me.”

“I, uh, I was thinking maybe I should get one, too. A
tattoo, I mean.”

“What?!” She broke into a grin. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, well, maybe,” I admitted. “Maybe…for my dad? I’d like
to say good-bye, like you said, but still have him with me. I don’t know. Do
you think it’s stupid?”

“Not at all, baby. But you should probably give it a bit
more thought before you go through with it. Maybe next time we take a trip
together?”

I smiled.
Next time
. I really liked the sound of
that.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, after we returned
home, we decided it was time to go public with our relationship. Julia was no
longer my student, so there was no conflict of interest that made secrecy
necessary. Julia changed her relationship status on Facebook, and I finally asked
her why she hadn't been listed as “Single” before and had chosen the rather
ambiguous “It's complicated” status, which I had obsessed over to an unhealthy
degree when we first started seeing each other. It turned out that she did it
to avoid being propositioned, and also because she wasn't truly single while
she was seeing me, since she wasn't interested in being with anyone else. That
made me feel warm on the inside and I realized that she had been mine for a lot
longer than I had ever realized.

After that, I changed my status as well, and even uploaded a
photo of the two of us in Napa as my profile picture. I knew that it was only a
matter of time before people would figure it out on their own and that seemed
better than making some big announcement. We just wanted to be together and
that was all that mattered.

As it turned out, however, other people weren't quite as
understanding about Julia and me spending every waking and sleeping moment alone
together, and that became abundantly clear when Sophia and Megan demanded that
we should all go out on a Saturday night in early August. The three of them
used to go out every weekend and that hadn't happened at all this summer since
Julia had spent all of her time with me.

I had noticed that Julia had been a bit off the last few
days, sometimes staring into space for long periods of time, but when I asked
her if something was the matter she always assured me that she was fine. I
assumed that she was becoming a little restless since she wasn't as much of a
homebody as I was and thought that a night out was just what she needed. I told
her as much and she agreed that a night of dancing was perfect, which was how
we ended up in a very fancy nightclub downtown. It wasn't my favorite way to
spend an evening, but I didn't feel nearly as out of place as I would have just
a few months ago. I certainly looked the part after spending quite a bit of
money on new clothes in LA. My girl was stunning in heels and a red dress, the same
one she had worn that first night at Matt’s bar, but she still seemed a bit
down.

It wasn't very noticeable but I knew her well enough to see
that she wasn't nearly as excited about the outing as her two girlfriends, who
immediately wanted to conquer the dance floor when we entered the club.

"Come on, Jules," Sophia coaxed. "This is why
we came here!"

"In a little while," she answered and took my
hand. "We'll go get us a table first, OK?"

Our four companions moved to the dance floor while Julia
secured us a table and I got both of us a drink. I soon realized that the girl
by my side was well known in this club, and every few minutes, people would
walk by and wave or say a quick hello to her while curiously eyeing me. They
all called her “Jules” and it sounded so strange to my ears because I only
thought of her as Julia. I decided to get to the bottom of the mystery.

"Sweetheart?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you ever correct me when I call you
Julia?"

She turned her head and looked at me.

"I mean, everyone else gets to call you Jules. Why not
me?"

God, I sound jealous. I should really just shut up about
this.

And yet I kept going. "It's just that…well, when
someone calls you by your full name you usually correct them. Matt and Shawn
call you Jules."

"Do
you
want
to call me
Jules?" she asked patiently.

"No."

What exactly was my point with this conversation?

Julia looked confused, which was to be expected since I
wasn't making sense at all.

"I just wanted to know why you don't correct me,"
I said lamely and brushed something invisible off my jeans. "Why you don't
want me to call you Jules when it's what you prefer. Why it's different with
me."

"Because it
is
different with you," she
said. "You're my boyfriend."

"Yes, but I wasn't at first," I reminded her.
"I've called you Julia from day one and you never said anything. I didn't
even know that you preferred Jules until I saw you with your friends."

She sighed and took a sip of her drink. "The
truth?"

"Of course," I said, hoping that I wouldn't regret
this.

"I, uh, I sort of used you at first, Stephen," she
said with regret in her voice. "When we started fucking I used you as a
distraction to forget about the bad shit in my life. I always invited you over
after I had gone to see Pop at the home. He wasn't doing too well at the end
and…it was really fucked up, actually. I’ll spare you the details." She
exhaled through her nose.

"This really isn't a conversation for a Saturday night
out," she said after a few seconds. "I don't want to bum you
out."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said softly and took her
hand in mine. "Nothing's more important than getting to know you better
and having you share things with me— even if some of them are
unpleasant."

"You really mean that.”

"Of course. I don't really care about this," I
said, motioning toward the crowded bar. "I'm here to be with you and if
you want to tell me about your grandfather, you should do it. We can go home
right now if you prefer."

"No, I promised the girls," she said, looking
toward the dance floor where my brother and Shawn were doing their best to keep
up with Megan and Sophia. "We haven't been out in ages."

"I guess I have been monopolizing you a bit," I
admitted reluctantly.

"I've let you," she said with a smile. "This
has been the best summer of my life. I have loved every minute of it."

"For me as well," I agreed.

"I never expected it to be, you know? I never expected
you."

"What did you expect?" I asked curiously.

"For my summer? A lot more of this," she said,
sweeping her hand out. "A lot more drinking, waking up in strange beds,
and being hung over."

I shuddered at the thought of Julia being with another man
and pulled her a little closer.

"I'm not ashamed of how I used to be," she said
quietly. "But I used sex as a distraction. Even with you, in the
beginning. That's why I let you call me Julia."

"I'm not sure I understand," I admitted.

"Before you, Julia was just the name on my birth
certificate. Everyone always called me Jules, even when I was a kid. I've never
felt like a Julia before, but with you I got to be someone different. It was so
easy being with you, Stephen. Whenever I had a bad visit with Pop I’d send you
a text and you were always so happy to see me when you came over. You called me
Julia, and you were so nice to me. We never really talked about anything too
heavy and with you I could just relax. You know, laugh and watch movies and
have great sex. I needed that so much, you have no idea. You were exactly what
I needed."

She squeezed my hand and leaned into my side. "Sophia
and Meg are great. I couldn't ask for better friends, but they knew everything
that was going on and I hated it when they looked at me with pity. Like, ‘Poor
Jules, her mom and dad are dead and now her grandfather’s dying, too.’ I even
found out that Meg didn't tell me that her parents were in town for her
birthday, because she was worried that it would make me sad and remind me that
I don't have parents anymore. I love my friends for supporting me and always
being there, but I just needed something normal. I needed to be your Julia on
those nights when you came to see me. I think I would’ve lost my mind if I
didn’t have a free space. You gave me that."

She took another sip of her drink and drew a deep breath. "And
then he died. I mean, I knew it was coming. He had gotten so much worse that he
couldn't even get out of bed. He wasn't living anymore. It was just
awful." She shook her head.

"But then I went to you and you made everything
better," she said, looking at me. "I don't even know how you did it,
but I just felt so much better the morning after the funeral when I woke up
next to you. Again, you were exactly what I needed."

"I remember," I said. "It was the best
morning of my life. Up to that point, at least."

She lifted her face up to mine and kissed my lips. "I
love being your Julia. I've never been anyone's Julia before," she said
softly.

"Then you always will be," I promised sincerely.
"My sweetheart and my Julia."

"Thank you," she whispered and leaned up to kiss
me again.

She shouldn't be thanking me. It should be the other way
around, but I was too busy enjoying her soft lips on mine to argue. Eventually,
I was forced to let go of her as Sophia and Megan hauled her onto the dance
floor while Matt and Shawn joined me at the table. We watched the girls as they
drew the eyes of every man in the room, but it didn't worry me. I knew that
Julia loved me and I simply grinned into my hand a little later when I
overheard two young guys at the bar comment on her good looks while I was
waiting to be served.

"That's Jules from my American history class," the
first one said to his friend who was admiring my girl. "She's completely
out of your league."

"I know," the other one grumbled. "But it
doesn't hurt to look."

"Yeah, but you'd better do it now. I hear that she's
leaving in the fall. Going to Europe or something like that."

What? Where would he get that impression?

"No way," the other guy whined.

"Yeah, she won that scholarship. Um, what's it
called…shit, I can't remember. Anyway, it's the one where you get to go to
pretty much any college you want in Europe. Full…something. I saw her name in
the university newsletter."

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