Absolute Mayhem (7 page)

We did other sessions in other locations after that,
and one in particular stands out. Hank took me and a
male star named Nick Manning and some other chick
(whose name I can't remember) to a gorgeous beach
to shoot. We got stoned the whole time, and it was so
much fun. A lot of sand found its way into everything –
in places you don't want sand, if you get my drift – and
the other girl, who was from England, kept complaining
about it. I didn't take much notice of her. I was too busy
fucking Nick Manning.

One of those photo sets was sold to
Australian Penthouse
,
actually. It's crazy, but I never stopped to think
that people who knew me back home – including, God
forbid, my brother and father – could have seen those
photos in Australia. I just wasn't in that sensible sort
of headspace.

Because the turnover of new actors in these stills
and movies is usually very, very high (the directors and
photographers like fresh faces all the time), I thought
I had to make the most of it while it lasted. In my first
year, 2001, I found myself doing a lot of shoots – an
average of 20 shoots a month – which meant that I had
a
lot
of sex and certainly made up for lost time. I
had no problem with throwing myself into it like this,
but it took me at least six months to feel confident that
I was actually giving a good performance.

A few bad reviews didn't help matters. Early on, a
writer who was apparently not a fan of mine criticised
me in every one of my scenes that he reviewed in
Adult
Video News
(AVN), which is the main American adultfilm-industry trade magazine. This really got to me. Back
then, I would actually watch my movies and review my
scenes to see what I could do better. And really, I couldn't
see what was supposed to be so bad about them. I guess
that guy had it in for me, or maybe he just wasn't a fan.
Something like that can really hurt your career. It was
only when I won a couple of awards and was getting loads
of recognition that I started to feel more confident.

I won my first industry award in the same year that
I'd started – the X-Rated Critics Organization (XRCO)
Award for 'Starlet of the Year' for 2001 – and then the
Fans of X-Rated Entertainment (FOXE) 'Vixen of
the Year' award in 2002. I was quite ambitious, actually,
and I kept my mind on things like trying to get good
reviews, good publicity, hot-looking box-covers, lots of
magazine covers and, of course, making lots of money.
Things like that kept me going, so I did feel very validated
when I won. It was such an amazing affirmation,
and I felt truly honoured and recognised for the hard
work that I had put in.

But I was still so young and new to the business back
then, and it didn't occur to me to think about whether
there was some kind of disconnect between what the
fans and critics felt about porn stars and what the girls
themselves thought about the importance of such
awards. I still don't really know, to be honest. To me,
winning awards is just good publicity and recognition
for a job well done, but I don't think the directors really
give a shit. I came to this conclusion because I didn't
get very much new work following those two awards.
I don't think the real fans care, either, because those
who really like you will like you regardless of whether
you win awards or not.

That's not to say that I didn't do loads of work in
2002, though, because I was able to re-shoot for all the
companies I'd already shot for, and for the same magazines,
too. I hadn't hit the glass ceiling yet. I was still
'new' to lots of people.

But life wasn't always a bed of roses. I have my share of
horror stories from my early days. There was one shoot
in particular that was a nightmare. It was for a website,
and I did it because it paid really well: US$350 an hour.
It was really hard work and it took a bloody eternity.
We shot it in Baltimore in one day, for about ten hours,
and they wanted me to do all kinds of fucked-up shit,
including using a speculum to allow the camera to get
real 'tunnel vision'. They also shot me fucking myself
with a bottle, followed by huge vegetables and sex toys.
They thought I was just complaining but, seriously, I'm
pretty tight down there and a fat butternut pumpkin is
just not going to fit. I mean, how much more unnatural
can a sex act be? I was trying to insert a big butternut
pumpkin into my own vagina and pretending to
enjoy it!

After I got back to LA, I was shooting for Hank
Londoner again and I told a couple of girls there about
the crazy things they made me do in Baltimore. They told
this guy who'd shot me what I'd said, and he responded
by threatening me in an email, calling me a cunt and
saying he would sue me for slander, he would have me
deported and this and that, blah, blah, blah. I had to
smooth things over with a fake 'nice' email, explaining
that I didn't badmouth him or his company but had only
told those girls what I did there and it was entirely their
own decision not to work with him after what they'd
heard from me. That was a very weird experience.

In my early days in LA, my agent, Roy, had put me
up at his house, where a bunch of other girls he represented
lived. The first porn star I met there was Noname
Jane, who was really sweet. She had a husband
and
a
boyfriend, and I thought she was way cool. We're still
good friends to this day. Jane is very spiritual and
we have a lot in common. But most of the girls were
complete crack-heads, straight out of Jerry Springer.

The girl I had to share a room with was a speed-smoking
hooker. She was extremely stupid. She would
walk Roy's two dogs in her stiletto heels at 2 am around
Granada Hills, which is a genteel suburban area in the
west San Fernando Valley, and she got her ID photo
taken at the Department of Motor Vehicles wearing a
stripper outfit, her head all cracked out. She was oft en
offering guys blow jobs at the gym. She was just a filthy,
messy pig who pretty much didn't sleep – a good thing,
since I had to share a bed with her!

Another girl not only did speed and Ecstasy but was
also the biggest pot smoker I'd ever seen. Her room
was so disgusting – you couldn't even walk in there
without stepping on something, including left over
food. Roy had to drive us to shoots and these girls were
always one or two hours late. Naturally, Roy would
blame all of us for this in front of the annoyed production
managers at the shoots.

I was always professional, ready and waiting to go on
time, but Roy was oft en so stressed out that he failed to
give us the full story for a shoot, and this usually meant
that we were unprepared. We went out not having the
right clothes or we discovered that we weren't getting
paid what we thought. And, to make things worse, Roy
would oft en yell at people and fight and argue with his
clients. Most people hated dealing with him. I lost a lot
of work because many companies didn't want to book
any girls through him.

The one ray of sunshine in my months living in Roy's
house was meeting Belladonna, who was then calling
herself just Bella. (She'd previously appeared in
Hustler
as 'Sandy' in 2000.) We got along instantly and started
partying really hard. Roy wasn't getting us much work,
so we had a lot of time on our hands. We would go out
to clubs in Hollywood, get VIP treatment everywhere,
go to after-parties – we totally ran amok.

Bella is originally from Utah and actually grew up a
Mormon. She is two years younger than me and had
been doing porn for about six months to a year before
I'd got started. She had quit and moved back to Utah,
then changed her mind and moved back to Roy's just
after I'd moved there. I thought she was a very nice girl,
and she went on to have an outstanding porn career. In
2003, at age 22, she decided to move on from acting to
directing, for a well-known company called Evil Angel.
Even back then, she already had quite a reputation for
extreme sex, and she is known for putting huge objects
up her ass and doing really hard, nasty scenes that oft en
involve several guys gang-banging the bejeezus out of
her. Of late, she has become somewhat notorious for
slamming the industry on mainstream TV shows such
as
20/20
and has been quite vocal about the health risks
for its performers, having contracted chlamydia and
gonorrhoea a few times herself. In 2005, she became a
mother, with a healthy baby girl, and the baby shower
was actually filmed and shown on
Family Business
, the
Showtime reality series about the porn business.

But meantime, things began unravelling in the Roy
Garcia house. One day, Roy came home from a trip
and found we had stayed in and partied all night with
the porn star Mark Davis. He lost it, as he'd specifically
said that no parties and no guys were allowed
in the house. I was trying to sleep and he kicked down
the door, screaming at me. It was not a good scene,
so Bella and I packed our bags and left . We stayed at
the nearby Aku Aku Motel (21830 Ventura Boulevard,
Woodland Hills, for those of you fans out there keen on
tracing my chequered past).

With Roy out of the picture, we started representing
ourselves. Bella was having a hard time getting work –
somewhat hard to believe, given what an amazing
performer she is, as everyone in porn now knows – so
I was pumping her up to every director I was working
for. Everyone was booking me for lead roles in features
but no one liked Bella at the time because of her tattoos.
I convinced a lot of people to hire her and we eventually
moved in together to an apartment in Woodland Hills,
got ourselves sober and started working hard.

A lot more work started coming in, which was great,
even though I was oft en working up to 16 hours a day,
five days a week. I scored an amazing role in a film for
VCA Pictures called
The New Girl
. VCA told me that
they hadn't used me before because they didn't want to
deal with Roy as my agent. This film was directed by
the great F. J. 'Freddie' Lincoln, who'd spent eight years
directing for VCA until Larry Flynt took it over, and it
was my first-ever lead role in a major feature film.

I loved this movie because it was set in the fourteenth
century. I love period pieces, and in this one the
costumes and settings were awesome. The storyline
had my character drink a potion that put me to sleep
for 400 years, and then I awoke in the basement of an
internet voyeur-cam house, with porn stars all over the
place. The best scene was when I snapped out of the
fourteenth-century character and did two guys, Eric
Price and Chris Cannon, and the hottest part of that
threesome was when I was bouncing up and down in
reverse-cowgirl position and giving a hot blow job at
the same time.

It was about that time that I started dating a guy
from Orange County, California, called Craven Moorehead
(his stage name, obviously). The director Stoney
Curtis had invited Bella and me to a club, and Craven
was there because he was Stoney's production assistant
at the time. We hit it off instantly. He was very sweet,
though it wasn't until he invited me to a barbecue
at Stoney's house in West Hills that I fell for him. We
were alone, waiting for everyone else to show up, and
he started playing my favourite song, Metallica's 'Fade
to Black' from their
Ride the Lightning
album. I mean,
he was playing it perfectly on guitar, because it was his
favourite song too.

And then, by sheer chance, Metallica's
Garage
Days Re-Revisited
EP came on the radio! That did it.
The song 'Last Caress/Green Hell', written by Glenn
Danzig, just slays me, and the whole thing ends with
those Iron Maiden riff s (actually, it's Metallica's parody
of Iron Maiden's 'Run to the Hills'). Iron Maiden was
another of my favourite bands when I was growing up.
Juvenile-delinquent headbanger heaven. Craven and
I just connected immediately!

Bella, however, didn't like Craven and me being
together at all; she knew what a player he was. Everyone
in the industry knew about him, because he was always
hitting on girls. Bella had seen him out with other girls
when we were dating, too, so his reputation as a horndog
was always out there for all to see. I guess I knew,
intuitively, that Bella was right, but I truly hoped he
could change.

While personally things were tricky, my career was
going from strength to strength, and I was getting
more great roles. In 2002, I starred in
Perfect
, directed
by Michael Ninn for Private Media Group, which
was described as a '
Matrix
-style hardcore blockbuster
packed with high-tech special effects' in Private's 2002
mail-order catalogue.

I played a robot, since it was a very futuristic movie,
and I had some crazy hair and make-up done by one of
my favourite make-up artists, Lee Garland. I wore a very
sexy white, full-body leotard and did some robot-like
dialogue in a dream-like state with smoke all around,
and then did a scene with Dale DaBone on a steel table.
We had some crazy sex against a green screen while
suspended in the air with harnesses. It was supposed
to look like
The Matrix
, as I'm leaning back in mid-air,
getting fucked. (It was a lot of fun on the harness and
I would have loved to have done all kinds of tricks!)

At the end of the shoot, it was very stressful for
the crew and for Dale because Michael had this crazy
idea about how to shoot the pop shot – he lined up
20 cameras in a circle around us and they were all
supposed to go off simultaneously and continuously
while Dale was cumming. It was supposed to look
like slow motion all around, and it resulted in one of
the longest sex scenes I've ever shot. I'm not sure if it
came out the way that Michael had it planned but it was
certainly a very unique way of ending a sex scene. What
a climax!