Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3)

BOOK: Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3)
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DEFINING

Love

Elizabeth Reyes

 

 

 

 

Defining Love

Copyright © 2015 Elizabeth Reyes

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and
incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business
establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. This e-book is licensed for your
personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other
people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please
purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book
and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please
return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the
hard work of this author.

Cover by Amanda Simpson at
Pixel Mischief Design

Edited by
Theresa
Wegand

 

 

 

 

Chapter 11

Love is . . . giving someone the ability to destroy
you.

But trusting them not to.

Henri

Bea had just dropped a bombshell question, and while I
was unreasonably consumed with guilt, without hesitation, I answered, “Of
course I’m not having an affair with Aaron! Oh my God, Bea. Why would you think
that?”

“You two are going to Milwaukee for the weekend?” Her words were
a mixture of accusatory but still a bit unsure.”

“Yes, for a trade show,” I said, glancing back at Edi, who was
staring at me, but I couldn’t make out what she might be thinking.

My heart beat wildly. I knew I’d done nothing wrong. I knew I had
no intention of doing anything wrong. So why did the guilt feel so unyielding?
Bea was in near tears, and with another glance in Edi’s direction, I could see
my
girlfriend was just as anxious.

“Mia said . . .” Bea took a deep breath as if she’d suddenly
calmed. “Mia was upset. She said she asked Aaron to cancel his trip. She’s
noticed a change in him again. Just like before when he broke up with her the
first time. I have too. Only this time she says it feels worse. It’s gotten
even more noticeable in the last few weeks. They’re hardly together anymore,
and she said today when she walked in on you guys—”

“We were just talking. That’s
all
we were doing,” I said
quickly, glancing at Edi before she could think we’d been caught doing anything
else.

Edi still stared at me, not saying or giving anything away about
what might be going on in her head.

“She said she got a weird vibe.”

I started to say something in protest, though my heart knew what
that vibe was, but Bea continued.

“She’s just been really paranoid, Henri. I’m sorry for jumping to
conclusions along with her. I should’ve known better than to make such ugly
accusations, but she was so upset.” Bea’s face scrunched for a second, but she
continued. “She was hysterical and kept saying she felt it in her heart that
something was going on between you—
my
friend—and, Aaron so I didn’t know
what to think. I just told her I’d get to the bottom of it.” She glanced back
at Edi, sniffling, then at me. “I shouldn’t have barged in here like this. But
it’s just that”—she turned back to me—“I feel so torn. On the one hand, he’s my
brother, but on the other, I love her like my own sister. I hate to see her so
hurt. I apologize, Henri. I really do.”

I hadn’t done a thing wrong. And yet hearing her apologize like
that only made the guilt I was feeling so much more profound. I didn’t even
want to look at Edi now for fear that she’d see the shame in my face. I was
guilty of
nothing
. So why couldn’t I bring myself to even glance at Edi?

“It’s okay,” I said, reaching out for Bea. “I know how close you
are to Mia, and you were just reacting. I’m not angry. I promise.”

Bea touched my hand then hugged me. The emotion radiating off her
made me think of the pain I felt when my sister left. The fear I’d had for all
those years of Edi replacing me—leaving me. Bea had said it before more than
once and so had Aaron: Mia was the sister Bea never had. She had been since she
was a little girl, and now she was on the verge of losing her.

“It’s gonna be okay,” I whispered.

She pulled away slowly, and when our eyes met, to my surprise,
there were no tears as I expected, and she took a deep breath, exhaling just as
dramatically. “As much as it pains me to accept that maybe Mia won’t be in our
family forever as I thought she would for so many years, a small part of me
wishes he’d just pull the Band-Aid off once and for all. It feels like it’s
been dangling for too long. I just . . .” She shook her head. “I just want him
to do the honorable thing and not disrespect her in the process. She deserves
better than that after all they’ve been through. So when she told me tonight .
. .”

Those guilt ridden eyes would be the end all for me, but I
continued to listen intently, refusing to so much as glance in Edi’s direction.

“I’m so sorry, Henri. She just knows him better than anyone, and
this wasn’t the first time she’d brought up your name. I hadn’t wanted to
mention it, but she’s told me before she suspects he’s infatuated with you.
Then after seeing you two together the other day and after tonight, she says
she’s never been so sure of anything in her life. I know she’s just being
paranoid
now
. But when she called me tonight so hysterical and so sure,
I didn’t even stop to think she might be imagining things. I kept thinking the
same thing I’ve been thinking since she first brought it up: if there’s any
truth to her suspicions,
I’m
the one who suggested to Aaron he offer you
the job. I’d feel so responsible, so tonight I just snapped.”

“It’s okay,” I assured her, squeezing her hand before she could
say more. “I get it,” I added as my heart began to drown in complete turmoil.

Aaron infatuated with
me?
Mia had never been so sure of
anything in her life? Bea was blaming herself?

“They’ve been going through a lot,” I went on, willing my voice
not to shake. “I don’t blame you for reacting. But we’re good. In fact, call me
if you need to talk or just vent. I know how hard this has been for you. So
call me whenever.”

Bea nodded with a weak smile, first at me then in Edi’s
direction, and whispered something about needing to get home. She’d since
walked in further into the apartment, so she started back now, and I accompanied
her to the door. She apologized a few more time as she walked out before she
was gone.

The moment I closed the door I turned to Edi, hoping she hadn’t
picked up on my avoiding eye contact with her almost the entire time I’d spoken
to Bea.

Edi was leaning against the kitchen counter, staring at me, but
she didn’t look hurt anymore. I couldn’t quite make out
what
she might
be thinking, and I had no idea where to even start.

“Do
you
think he’s infatuated with you?” Edi asked in a
genuinely curious tone.

I refrained from shaking my head adamantly as I really wanted to,
but my mind had started racing even before Bea had left. Edi knew me too well.
The last thing I wanted was to come across overly defensive and put out even
the aura of remorse. So instead, I shook my head gently and shrugged.

“I seriously doubt it.”

“Do any of them know about—?”

“He does.”

My response was too abrupt, way too hasty, and I could see the
confusion in her questioning eyes. “You told him about us?”

“Yes,” I said as casually as I could manage as I started back to
the sofa where I’d been sitting when Bea first knocked on the door. “The day he
gave you a ride to the hospital he asked about you and, you know, how long you
and I’ve been friends. So I told him we’d been friends since high school but have
been a couple for a few months now.”

She peered at me, and I still couldn’t quite make out if she was suspicious
or if she was just surprised. The conversation Aaron and I had the night I told
him about Edi and me wasn’t quite as cut-and-dry as I was making it out to be,
but I hadn’t lied. He
did
know, and I had been completely honest about
it.

Finally, Edi pushed away from the counter and started toward me.
She slowed before reaching the sofa then sat down next to me, placing her hand
on my leg.

“So he and his fiancée are having issues?” She slipped her hand
into mine, but before I could respond, she had a further inquiry. “Does he talk
to you about their relationship?”

“He has,” I admitted, glancing down as she cupped my hand with
both of hers now, so I squeezed back. “I mean tonight was probably the worst
one of all, but it wasn’t the first time he had to leave without warning
because of her and cut my work hours short.” I gulped, determined to look her
straight in the eye because what I was saying was partially true. “Tonight she
barged in there upset and then stalked out. There was no way he could deny
they’d just had a fight, so he had no choice but to explain to me why he had to
suddenly take me home.”

She took a deep breath, glancing away and staring at the floor
for a moment. I braced myself, praying she wouldn’t ask the right questions. I
felt deceitful enough. I didn’t want to lie any more than I already had. If she
did ask the right questions, I’d have no choice but to be completely honest.

After tonight’s conversation with Aaron, I felt fairly certain
there was more to the way he feasted his eyes on me. More to why he was sharing
such intimate details of how he felt about his fiancée. I could insist it was
nothing more than, like me, he just needed to vent, but Bea had filled me in
enough about their huge family and his best friend who he’d be best man to in a
few weeks.
Unlike
me, he had plenty of other people to vent to.

“His fiancée is convinced he’s infatuated with you,” Edi said,
still staring at the floor. “And now you two will be together all weekend.” Her
eyes lifted slowly, stopping when they met mine. “I trust you, Henri. Just tell
me if there’s anything else about your relationship with him that I should know
about. I’m feeling a little stupid right now. The thought hadn’t even crossed
my mind that your older, engaged boss—”

“You have nothing to feel stupid about,” I said, squeezing her
hand.

I knew there were so many other things I could’ve said. So many
other more comforting statements I could’ve offered.

I feel nothing for him.

I’d never hurt you again.

I promise to be true, and I’ll never share about our private
life with anyone.

But just as Mia knew Aaron, Edi knew me too well. I was terrified
she’d pick up on the insincerity. Despite the drama of tonight, shamefully, my
excitement about spending the weekend with Aaron had just spiked several
hundred notches. Edi sat up suddenly and wrapped her arms around my neck,
startling me momentarily. “That’s all I need to hear,” she whispered against my
ear.

I squeezed her back, too, but didn’t say more. I couldn’t. The
voice of reason in my head was beginning to buzz. I should seriously consider
canceling this trip. I should do the right thing and tell Aaron it just didn’t
feel right, given how Mia was feeling and how I knew Edi was feeling, despite
her trying to be understanding. Just as Mia knew Aaron and Edi knew me, I knew
Edi. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with this revelation and likely wouldn’t
be from here on. But it would raise too many questions for everyone if I
canceled. It would ignite suspicion where there shouldn’t be any.

Mostly . . . I didn’t want to.

~~~

“Jesus, Henri, I don’t even know where to start.”

It was the first thing Aaron said to me the moment we were both
in his car the next morning. I turned to him, not sure myself how to respond.
I’d hardly slept just thinking about everything Bea had said and what his
reaction might be when he found out that I now knew Mia was convinced he was
infatuated with me.

Would he deny it, or worse, admit it? If so, how would I—
should
I—respond? I stared at him now, saying the only thing I could think of. “Don’t
worry about it, Aaron.” I shrugged slightly. “You said it yourself. Things
haven’t felt the same with you two for a while. She’s picked up on it, and it’s
not unheard of that she’d jump to conclusions, right?”

“Yes, but Bea,” he said, his glare so rigid I’d only ever seen
him like that a few times. “She should’ve never jumped the gun like that
without talking to me first. Her coming to your place to accuse you of anything
and confront you the way she did is completely unacceptable.”

“She apologized,” I said quickly, “more than once. I totally get
why she’d be so upset, especially since she said Mia was hysterical when she
called her.”

“She’d been drinking,” he said simply. He must’ve realized I
wasn’t sure who he was talking about because he added, “Mia, that is. I don’t
know if she was as drunk when she called Bea, but she’d definitely been
drinking when she called and left me a voicemail.”

I waited for him to say more as we drove for a bit in silence. I
was curious about what she’d said in the voicemail but dared not ask. When we
stopped at a light, he turned to me and I braced myself. He still hadn’t
addressed Mia’s accusations.

“Bea said Edi was there last night.” He shook his head, clearly
exasperated. “I didn’t and I won’t be telling her anything about your
relationship with Edi, but I have to ask. What was Edi’s reaction? She’s not
upset, is she?”

“No,” I said, looking away and out the window. “She did ask if
there’s anything else she needs to know, but I told her there isn’t.”

The rest of the drive to the airport was mostly small talk, such
as Aaron asking if I’d had breakfast and if I wanted to stop and grab
something. He explained that in first class we’d normally be given a meal but,
with our flight being so short, the most we’d get would be a drink and maybe a
small snack.

I passed on the stopping for breakfast. But by the time we were
finally through security at the airport and in the mall-like atmosphere, the
coffee and bagels at the bagel shop smelled so good we stopped and I grabbed
one. I’d had enough embarrassing episodes in front of Aaron already. I didn’t
want to risk skipping breakfast and possibly having another one of my stupid
dizzy spells.

It wasn’t until we were sitting in our first-class seats and were
asked to shut down our electronics that Aaron returned to the subject of Mia.

“I was nervous after Bea called this morning to tell me about
what she’d done. I thought that you might cancel last minute,” he said,
searching my eyes apprehensively. “I wasn’t sure if maybe what she’d said might
make you or Edi uncomfortable. I’m glad you didn’t cancel.”

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