Acceptable Risk (36 page)

I remain your loving Son,Jonathan.

“Damn it all,” Kim said when she’d finished the letter.

“What’s the matter?” Kinnard asked.

“It’s this evidence,” Kim said, pointing it out in the letter. “It refers to the evidence used to convict Elizabeth. In a document I found at the Essex County Courthouse it was described as conclusive evidence, meaning it incontrovertibly convicted her. I’ve found several other references to it but it is never described. Figuring out what it was has become the chief object of my crusade.”

“Do you have any idea what it could be?” Kinnard asked.

“I believe it has something to do with the occult,” Kim said. “Probably it was a book or a doll.”

“I’d say this letter favors its being a doll,” Kinnard said. “I don’t know what kind of book would have been considered ‘gruesome.’ The gothic novel wasn’t invented until the nineteenth century.”

“Maybe it was a book describing some witch’s potion that used body parts as ingredients,” Kim suggested.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Kinnard said.

“Doll-making was mentioned in Elizabeth’s diary,” Kim said. “And dolls helped convict Bridget Bishop. I suppose a doll could be ‘gruesome’ either by being mutilated or perhaps sexually explicit. I imagine with the Puritan morality many things associated with sex would have been considered gruesome.”

“It’s a misconception of sorts that the Puritans were all hung up on sex,” Kinnard said. “I remember from my history courses that they generally considered sins associated with premarital sex and lust as lesser sins than lying or the promotion of self-interest, since the latter had to do with breaking the sacred covenant.”

“That means things have certainly turned around since Elizabeth’s day,” Kim said with a cynical chuckle. “What the Puritans thought were terrible sins are accepted and often lauded activities in present-day society. All you have to do is watch a government hearing.”

“So you hope to solve the mystery of the evidence by going through all these papers?” Kinnard said, making a sweeping motion with his hand around the attic.

“Here and in the wine cellar,” Kim said. “I did take a letter from Increase Mather to Harvard since in the letter he said that the evidence had become part of the Harvard collections. But I didn’t have any luck. The librarians couldn’t find any reference to Elizabeth Stewart in the seventeenth century.”

“According to Jonathan’s letter you should have been looking for ‘Rachel Bingham,’~” Kinnard said.

“I realize that now,” Kim said. “But it wouldn’t have made any difference. There was a fire in the winter of 1764 that consumed Harvard Hall and its library. Not only did all the books burn, but also what was called a ‘repository of curiosities,’ plus all the catalogues and indexes. Unfortunately no one even knows what was lost. I’m afraid Harvard can’t be any help to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Kinnard said.

“Thanks,” Kim said.

“At least you still have a chance with all these papers,” Kinnard said.

“It’s my only hope,” Kim said. She showed him how she was organizing all the material in terms of chronology and subject matter. She even took him to the area where she’d been working that morning.

“Quite a task,” Kinnard said. Then he looked at his watch. “I’m afraid I have to go. I’ve got to round on my patients this afternoon.”

Kim accompanied him down to his car. He offered to give her a ride back to the cottage, but she declined. She said she intended to put in a few more hours in the attic. She said she particularly wanted to search the drawer where he’d so easily found Jonathan’s letter.

“Maybe I shouldn’t ask this,” Kinnard said. He had the door to his car open. “But what is Edward and his team of researchers doing up here?”

“You’re right,” Kim said. “You shouldn’t ask. I can’t tell you the details because I’ve been sworn to secrecy. But what is common knowledge is that they are doing drug development. Edward built a lab in the old stables.”

“He’s no fool,” Kinnard said. “What a fabulous place for a research lab.”

Kinnard started to climb into his car when Kim stopped him. “I have a question for you,” she said. “Is it against the law for researchers to take an experimental drug that has yet to reach clinical testing?”

“It’s against FDA rules for volunteers to be given the drug,” Kinnard said. “But if the researchers take it, I don’t think the FDA has any jurisdiction. I can’t imagine that they would sanction it, and it might cause trouble when they attempt to get an Investigational New Drug application.”

“Too bad,” Kim said. “I was hoping it might be against the law.”

“I suppose I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to guess why you are asking,” Kinnard said.

“I’m not saying anything,” Kim said. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t either.”

“Who am I going to tell?” Kinnard questioned rhetorically. He hesitated a moment and then asked: “Are they all taking the drug?”

“I really don’t want to say,” Kim said.

“If they are, it would raise a significant ethical issue,” Kinnard said. “There would be the question of coercion with the more junior members.”

“I don’t think there is any coercion involved,” Kim said. “Maybe some group hysteria, but no one is forcing anyone to do anything.”

“Well, regardless, taking an uninvestigated drug is not a smart idea,” Kinnard said. “There is too much risk of unexpected side effects. That’s the reason the rules were promulgated in the first place.”

“It was nice seeing you again,” Kim said, changing the subject. “I’m glad to feel that we are still friends.”

Kinnard smiled. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” Kim waved as he drove away. She waved again just before his car disappeared in the trees. She was sorry to see him go. His unexpected visit had been a welcome relief.

Returning inside the castle, Kim climbed the stairs on her way to the attic. She was still enjoying the warmth generated by Kinnard’s visit when she found herself marveling over the episode with Edward. She could distinctly remember back to when she had first started dating Edward that he had reacted jealously to the mere mention of Kinnard’s name. That made his response that afternoon even more surprising. It also made Kim wonder if the next time she saw Edward alone he would react with a belated temper tantrum.

By late in the day Kim was ready to give up the search. She stood up and stretched her achy muscles. To her chagrin she’d not found any other related material in the drawer, file cabinet, or even in the immediate vicinity where Kinnard had found Jonathan’s letter. It made Kinnard’s feat that much more impressive.

Leaving the castle behind, she started out across the field toward the cottage. The sun was low in the western sky. It was already fall and winter wouldn’t be far behind. As she walked she vaguely thought about what to make for dinner.

Kim was almost to the cottage when she heard the distant sound of excited voices. Turning around, she saw that Edward and his research team had emerged from their isolation in the lab.

Kim was immediately intrigued: she stood and watched the group approach. Even from a distance she could tell that they were acting frolicsome and exuberant like a group of schoolchildren let out for recess. She could hear laughter and yelling. The men, except for Edward, were throwing a football back and forth.

The first thought that went through Kim’s mind was that they had made some monumental discovery. The closer they got the more sure she became. She’d never seen them in such good spirits. But when they were within shouting distance, Edward proved her wrong.

“Look what you’ve done to my team!” he called out to Kim. “I just told them about your offer to let them stay in the castle and they’ve gone berserk.”

When the group got near to Kim they let out a cheer: “Hip hip, hurray!” they repeated three times and then collapsed in laughter.

Kim found herself smiling in return. Their exuberance was contagious. They were like collegians at a pep rally.

“They really are touched by your hospitality,” Edward explained. “They recognize that it is a real favor you are doing for them. Curt had even been sleeping on the floor of the lab a few nights.”

“I like your outfit,” Curt said to Kim.

Kim looked down at her leather vest and jeans. It certainly wasn’t special. “Thank you,” she said.

“We’d like to reassure you about the furnishings in the castle,” François said. “We understand that they are family heirlooms, and we will treat them with the utmost respect.”

Eleanor stepped forward and gave Kim an unexpected hug. “I’m touched by your selfless contribution to the cause,” she said. She squeezed Kim’s hand and looked her in the eye. “Thank you so much.”

Kim nodded. She didn’t know what to say. She was embarrassed she’d been against the idea.

“By the way,” Curt said, angling himself is. front of Eleanor. “I’ve been meaning to ask you if the noise from my motorcycle ever bothers you. If it does, I’ll be happy to park it outside the compound.”

“I’ve not been aware of any noise,” Kim said.

“Kim!” Edward called out as he came around to her other side. “If it’s convenient the group would like you to take them to the castle so that you can show them which rooms you want them to sleep in.”

“I guess it’s as good a time as any,” Kim said.

“Perfect,” Edward said.

Retracing her steps, Kim led the animated group in the direction of the castle. David and Gloria made it a point to catch up with her and walk alongside. They were full of questions about the castle such as when it had been built and whether Kim had ever lived in it.

When they entered the mansion there were a lot of ohs and ahs, especially in the massive great room and the formal dining room, with its heraldic flags.

Kim showed them the guest wing first, suggesting the women stay there. Eleanor and Gloria were pleased and chose connecting bedrooms on the second floor.

“We can wake each other up if we oversleep,” Eleanor said.

Kim showed everyone how each wing had a separate entrance and stair.

“This is perfect,” François said. “We won’t have to go into the main part of the house at all.”

Moving across to the servants’ wing, Kim explained about the plumbing problem but assured them that she would call a plumber in the morning. She then showed them a bathroom in the main part of the house they could use in the interim.

The men chose rooms without any disagreement although some of the rooms were obviously more desirable than others. Kim was impressed with their amicability.

“I can have the phone turned on as well,” Kim said.

“Don’t bother,” David said. “We appreciate you offering, but it’s not necessary. We’ll only be here to sleep, and we’re not sleeping that much. We can use the phone in the lab.”

After the tour was over they all left the castle by the exit in the servants’ wing and then walked around to the front. They discussed the issue of keys, and it was decided to leave the doors to the wings unlocked for the time being. Kim would have keys made as soon as she had an opportunity.

After a round of fervent handshakes and hugs and thank you’s, the researchers headed off to their respective bed-and-breakfasts to gather their belongings. Kim and Edward walked to the cottage.

Edward was in a great mood and thanked Kim over and over for her generosity.

“You’ve really contributed to changing the whole atmosphere of the lab,” Edward said. “As you could see for yourself, they are ecstatic. And, as important as mental state is, I’m certain their work will reflect their mood. So you’ve positively impacted the whole project.”

“I’m glad I could contribute,” Kim said, making her feel even more guilty that she’d been against the idea from the start.

They arrived at the cottage. Kim was surprised when Edward accompanied her inside. She’d thought he’d head directly back to the lab.

“It was nice of that Monihan fellow to drop by,” Edward said.

Kim’s mouth dropped open. She had to make a conscious effort to close it.

“You know, I could use a beer,” Edward said. “How about you?”

Kim shook her head. For the moment she’d lost her voice. As she followed Edward into the kitchen, she struggled to summon the courage to talk to him about their relationship. He was in a better mood than he’d been in for ages.

Edward went to the refrigerator. Kim sat on a stool. Just when she was about to broach the subject, Edward popped the top from the beer and shocked her again.

“I want to apologize to you for having been such a bear for the last month or so,” he said. He took a drink from his beer, burped, and excused himself. “I’ve been giving it some thought over the last couple of days, and I know I’ve been difficult, inconsiderate, and unappreciative. I don’t mean this as an excuse or to absolve myself of responsibility, but I have been under enormous pressure from Stanton, Harvard, the researchers, and even myself. Yet I never should have let such issues come between us. Once again, I want to ask you to forgive me.”

Kim was taken aback by Edward’s admission. It was a totally unexpected development.

“I can tell you are upset,” Edward said. “And you don’t have to say anything immediately if you don’t want to. I can well imagine you could be harboring some ill will toward me.”

“But I do want to talk,” Kim said. “I’ve been wanting to talk, particularly since Friday when I went into Boston to see a therapist I’d seen years ago.”

“I applaud your initiative,” Edward said.

“It made me think a lot about how we’ve been relating to one another,” Kim said. She looked down at her hands. “It made me wonder if perhaps living together right at the moment is not the best thing for either of us.”

Edward put down his beer and took her hands. “I understand how you must feel,” he said. “And your feelings are appropriate in light of my most recent behavior. But I can see my mistakes, and I think I can make it up to you.”

Kim started to say something, but Edward interrupted her.

“All I ask is to allow the status quo to remain for a few weeks with me staying here in my room and you in yours,” he said. “If you feel we shouldn’t be staying together at the end of this trial period, I’ll move up to the castle with the others.”