Accepted Fate (35 page)

He looks between the two of us for a moment before he finally turns to leave. He gets a few steps and turns back around with a smirk on his face. "Oh yeah, Kinzleigh, don't forget our study date tonight. Calculus teach is hardcore. I'm going to need all the help I can get," he says looking at Breyson before he scampers off. That was dirty.

When I look at Breyson, he looks like he's about to kill someone. He turns around and punches the closest locker, leaving a small dent. I don't like seeing him all worked up like this. I lean against the row of lockers in front of him. I grab a fist full of his shirt and pull him towards me, kissing the edge of his mouth. "Hey, don't let him get to you. He is just a friend I met with Adalynn at the creek a couple weeks ago."

He has his arms raised above his head, resting on the facing of the locker, looking down at me. He has the most serious face and I can't tell what he's thinking. "He wants you."

I can't tell if he's mad at me or just mad. "So... I don't want him; not more than a friend, anyway." I can see the muscles in his jaw twitching as he stares into my eyes. He's so sexy. Will I ever get used what he does to me? I clamp my hand over his wrist and pull down his hand, placing it where my heart should be. "He doesn't do this to me." My heart is racing and I feel like I just ran a 5k marathon.

He takes the hand holding onto his shirt and moves it to the position that mirrors mine. "You do it to me too beautiful girl. Come on, let's get out of here. We need to talk. Missing a half day won't hurt anything." He never lets go of my hand as he walks towards the doors leading outside. Lord help me, because I don't think I can help myself. 

We sprint towards the parking lot, hand in hand, careful not to get caught by the parking lot cameras. As we come closer to a candy apple red Ford F-150, he presses a button on the remote, causing the lights to flash and the locks to sound. The truck is lifted up with big tires and black rims that accent well with the dark tint and black accessories.

As he opens the passenger door for me, I look at him questioningly. "What?" He grins from ear to ear as he gives me a boost by wrapping his arm around my waist. 

His touch does things to me that should be off limits to any woman wanting to keep her sanity. It makes me needy, something I've never been and refuse to become. Taking a seat, I look at him. "Southern boys and their big trucks," I laugh shaking my head.

"Real men drive trucks," he says as he winks at me, revealing that beautiful smile. My heart feels like it is going to run away and burst through my chest. Closing my eyes, I rub my palm over my heart. If only I had a way to stop it from soaring because I'm afraid of the fall.

When I open them, he is watching me, saying nothing at all. He places his hand over mine, grasping it and bringing it towards his mouth. He kisses my palm. "I'm scared too beautiful girl. Just don't run from me. We can be scared together." How does he do that? With one look, it's like he can see into my mind, reading my most intimate thoughts. I feel bare and I don't like it. I've always hid my emotions until...him.

We drive down the highway in silence, alone in our thoughts. Looking out my window, the trees pass by one by one. It's so open here. He turns down a few different roads and halfway down the most recent, the road changes from pavement to dirt and nothing is around but woods. "Where are we going?"

He looks over at me, no emotions present on his face. "Just somewhere I know we won't be bothered that we can talk. I would have taken you to my house, but I didn't want you to think this was about sex; it's not. You'll hear rumors about me, but I need you to promise you will ask me before you listen to anything okay?"

What kind of rumors? For some reason, it doesn't matter to me. I trust him implicitly. "Okay."

He pulls over to the side of the dirt road. Killing the engine, he points his head over to the other side of the road. "Come on."

When we get to the other side you can see running water at the bottom of the slope, filled with rocks and broken limbs. "What is this place?"

He sits down in the grass and pulls me between his legs to sit, my back facing his chest. "It's private land which is why it's dirt, but I think it's a public right away. If you keep going it turns into a paved road again." He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as he can. Resting his chin over my shoulder, cheek pressed against mine, I can barely breathe. "I've missed you beautiful girl."

His voice sounds pained and weak, but why I'm not sure. "Why?" It may be a dumb question, but it's one I want to know the answer to.

"I don't know. I've tried not to but I can't stop it. You're all I can think about. Ever since that day on the beach, I can't forget you, no matter how hard I try. I'm sorry Kinzleigh. I know you just wanted a fling, but now you're here and it's so much more to me than that." My heart squeezes the more miserable he sounds.

I turn around, kneeling on my knees between his legs. I grab his face between my hands and kiss his lips. "Hey, stop it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you too. You kind of became my best friend back home."

He extends his legs out in front of him to rest on the grass and pulls me by my thighs to straddle him. "I don't deserve to have you though. I'll never lie to you Kinzleigh. I've been with a lot of girls. Well, at least for my age. I shouldn't have let that night happen, but I was selfish and wanted you for myself and for some reason I can't tell you no." His breath tickles my face and I find myself running my fingers through the back of his hair. It's short but just long enough to grab a hold of.

I don't want to think of him with other girls. It sends a negative energy bolting though my body I don't want, making me bitter. "You don't have to tell me about your past with other girls Breyson. We have never been a couple. We're not a couple now. I have no claim to you or reason to be mad about your sexual history. We've only just met. I would be naive to think most people our age aren't having sex like me. I've hung around Presley long enough to know better. I didn't expect you were abstinent.

Something flashes in his eyes, but he quickly recovers. He shakes his head. "Let me finish. I need to get all of this out. I need to tell you what I want, but in order to have it, I need you to know what you're getting. Will you just listen? I know you're stubborn and have to always have the last damn word and be in control but listen. For me?"

Well when he puts it like that how can I tell him no? He always makes me do the opposite of what I intend to do anyway so why try and fight it now. "Okay."

Everything is peaceful as he searches my eyes. No sound but the rhythm of our breathing and the water flowing over the rocks down below. "I've always used girls for sex and that's it. I made it clear, up front, that is all it was. I never promised anything more. I only dated Natalie because we've been friends since I started high school and she came on to me one night, but I never gave her anything more than a title and a good time. I was completely monogamous to her for the time we dated...until you. As soon as I kissed you, I broke it off with her. I don't care about her that way. It was more of a convenience. You're all I can think about. I know you don't want anything serious and to be honest neither do I. When we graduate we will most likely part ways for college, but I can't stop thinking about you. I've tried several times and several ways. I want you in whatever way I can have you. You have one chance to tell me no. One chance to tell me I'm not what you want and I'll leave you be and try to manage seeing you every day. Should you choose me, you will be mine and mine only. Fuck Simon or any other guy in school. I need to tell you before you hear from someone else that I hooked up with Adalynn a couple of weeks ago. Since you've become friends you should know, but I couldn't go through with it to the end. All I could see was you and your beautiful face."

I just blink. What do I say to that? Am I pissed he hooked up with Adalynn? Yes! Do I have a right to be? No. Is this what I want? Do I want to be tied down to a girlfriend title? I don't like the idea of being anyone's property. "I don't know Breyson. I don't like anyone claiming me as theirs. I'm my own person. I will not succumb to someone else's wants. I've worked too hard to establish being my own person."

He shakes his head, "I don't care whether you call yourself my girlfriend or not. Titles don't matter to me, but if you hook up with me from this point forward, you hook up with only me and I will give you the same in return. I can't handle the thought of you being with someone else."

I begin twirling my hair in my fingers, staring at him. He does this to me. Every single time. Each time our eyes meet, he holds me to him, not allowing me to look away. If that's all it is, maybe I can handle it as long as he doesn't have any expectations about ordering me around. I don't want to give myself to anyone else that way anyway. Once you've been given the best, it kind of ruins you for anything less. "No expectations otherwise? No trying to control me? Just being with each other monogamously and enjoying each other senior year right?"

He nods. "You can title us if you want to or not. I don't care as long as I know in here," he points to his temple, "And in here," he lays his hand over his heart, "That you're mine and mine only."

Why do I feel like this will change everything? Why do I feel like this will be the end of my reign over my heart? Will this ruin me? Make me regret this decision? He's dangerous to me. Something tells me after this, there is no going back to before. Warnings fire off in my brain telling me to tread lightly. Do I wish I could tell him no? Yes. Am I going to? Never. He is my drug of choice. I'm going to ride the high, but what scares me is coming down. Will I survive? I'm not so sure, but the high keeps me coming back for more. I may hit rock bottom, but the addiction won't allow me to stop from making the jump. Looking at him, he's waiting for me to answer. I know I'm about change my entire life; everything I have worked for. It scares me and excites me the same. When I'm around him, there is a force that dominates all rational thought and my decision making ability. I could fight it tooth and nail, but I might not come out of it alive.

Moving only a breath apart, I let the adrenaline flood my body. I open myself up, letting him read my soul and feel that force within. Sometimes life is better with no words. Sometimes it's necessary to let the raw emotion consume you and just ride the wave. These are words my grandmother used to live by.
Grams, this is for you. Please don't let me fall because the survival rate is slim to none.

Crushing my lips to his, I give him my answer. I pour my heart out to him, no holds barred.
Please don't steal my heart. Please don't make me love you.
  

CHAPTER 16

Kinzleigh

Today is game day. It's the first game of the season and it's a home game. I'm really excited because we have been making signs all week to post all over the school and the field. I am flowing with positive energy for the pep rally later to come. Standing in the mirror, I look at myself in my new uniform. Black and Gold are my new school colors. It doesn't look half bad. "There, finished," I say out loud as I get done drying the warrior head tattoo on my cheek.

Coating my lips with my clear gloss, I rub them together and make a smacking sound in the mirror to ensure it's dispersed evenly. I reach down to pick up my pink Jansport book bag when my door opens. I smile because I know who it is. He takes me to school every morning. I am not sure what the point in having a car is if he's going to drive me everywhere.

After that first day of school, we have been together every day except during cheerleading and football practice, classes, and when we sleep. Once we got back to school the next day, it was pretty evident we were a couple. It is still the talk of the school and it's been a month. Apparently everyone was shocked at Breyson's behavior over me so I guess he
was
telling me the truth. It makes me smile to know I'm different. We even found out we have Literature class together after lunch. I can't explain the way I feel around him. It's still surreal to me and feels more like a dream than my life. "I have a car you know." Turning around, I lock my arms around his neck. "I could just meet you in the parking lot at school." We have this conversation every morning and it always remains the same. I just like to give him a hard time because truth is I like him doting over me.

"Yeah but that means I would see you less. Besides, I kind of like to show you off. You are the hottest girl in school now," he teases and kisses the tip of my nose. I roll my eyes. He is always commenting about how beautiful I am in some form or fashion. He rubs his fingers up my arms stopping on the back of my hand behind his neck. Unlocking them, he grabs one hand and holds it in the air for me to twirl. "Let me see you."

To make him happy, I participate and twirl in a three hundred and sixty degree turn. "Happy now?"

He just smiles, without revealing his teeth, before pulling what looks like a marker out of his pocket. "Not quite. You really are fitting in quite nicely, but you're missing one thing."

Placing my hands on my hips, I narrow my eyes at him. "Oh really? What's that?"

"Come here beautiful. If I'm going to have you walking around like that all day, knowing what every guy is going to be thinking, I at least want you representing my number." I just shake my head at him and smile. Why boys have to stake their claim on everything, I will never know.

He grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger, carefully turning it so the blank cheek is facing him. Uncapping the marker between his teeth, he begins drawing on my face. The wet ink is slightly cold as it transfers from the marker to my skin. After a few seconds of feeling a tickle across my cheek, he blows and then caps the marker. "There. Now we can go."

I look in the mirror to see a backwards four that matches his jersey. I can't help the smile that comes across my face. My man. I love how that sounds. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind, pulling me to him as we stare at each other in the mirror. "You know, we have some time before we really have to leave and we're all alone," I say seductively while smiling at his reflection.