Accidentally Catty

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Authors: Dakota Cassidy

BOOK: Accidentally Catty
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Table of Contents
 
 
“A writer to watch!”
—Angela Knight,
New York Times
bestselling author
 
PRAISE FOR
THE ACCIDENTAL HUMAN
 
“I highly enjoyed every moment of Dakota Cassidy’s
The Accidental Human
. . . A paranormal romance with a strong dose of humor.”

Errant Dreams
 
“A delightful, at times droll, contemporary tale starring a decidedly human heroine . . . Dakota Cassidy provides a fitting twisted ending to this amusingly warm urban romantic fantasy.”

Genre Go Round Reviews
 
“The final member of Cassidy’s trio of decidedly offbeat friends faces her toughest challenge, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t humor to spare! With emotion, laughter, and some pathos, Cassidy serves up another winner!”

Romantic Times
 
ACCIDENTALLY DEAD
 
“A laugh-out-loud follow-up to
The Accidental Werewolf
, and it’s a winner . . . Ms. Cassidy is an up-and-comer in the world of paranormal romance.”

Fresh Fiction
 
“An enjoyable, humorous satire that takes a bite out of the vampire romance subgenre . . . Fans will appreciate the nonstop hilarity.”

Genre Go Round Reviews
 
THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF
 
“Cassidy, a prolific author of erotica, has ventured into MaryJanice Davidson territory with a humorous, sexy tale.”

Booklist
 
“If Bridget Jones became a lycanthrope, she might be Marty. Fun and flirty humor is cleverly interspersed with dramatic mystery and action. It’s hard to know which character to love best, though—Keegan or Muffin, the toy poodle that steals more than one scene.”

The Eternal Night
 
“A riot! Marty’s internal dialogue will have you howling, and her antics will keep the laughs coming. If you love paranormal with a comedic twist, you’ll love this book.”

Romance Junkies
 
“A lighthearted romp . . . [An] entertaining tale with an alpha twist.”

Midwest Book Review
 
KISS & HELL
“A fun, lighthearted paranormal romance that will keep readers entertained. Ms. Cassidy fills the pages of her book with nonstop banter, ghostly activity, and steamy romance.”

Darque Reviews
 
“Delaney, with her amusing sarcastic asides, makes for an entertaining romantic fantasy with a wonderful mystery subplot . . . Readers will relish this lighthearted, jocular frolic.”

Genre Go Round Reviews
 
“Cassidy has created a hilarious lead in Delaney Markham. Readers will run through all types of emotions while enjoying laugh-out-loud moments, desperate passion, wacky and fun characters, pop-culture references, and one intense mystery. The book’s charm is apparent from the first page, but the twisted mystery tangled throughout will keep the pages turning.”

Romantic Times
 
MORE PRAISE FOR THE NOVELS OF DAKOTA CASSIDY
 
“The fictional equivalent of the little black dress—every reader should have one!”
—Michele Bardsley
 
“Serious, laugh-out-loud humor with heart, the kind of love story that leaves you rooting for the heroine, sighing for the hero, and looking for your own significant other at the same time.”
—Kate Douglas
 
“Expect great things from Cassidy.”

Romantic Times
 
“Very fun, sexy. Five stars!”

Affaire de Coeur
 
“Dakota Cassidy is going on my must-read list!”

Joyfully Reviewed
 
“If you’re looking for some steamy romance with something that will have you smiling, you have to read [Dakota Cassidy].”

The Best Reviews
Berkley Sensation titles by Dakota Cassidy
YOU DROPPED A BLONDE ON ME
 
KISS & HELL
MY WAY TO HELL
 
THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF
ACCIDENTALLY DEAD
THE ACCIDENTAL HUMAN
ACCIDENTALLY DEMONIC
ACCIDENTALLY CATTY
THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.)
Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.)
Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India
Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.)
Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
 
Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
 
This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.
 
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
 
Copyright © 2011 by Dakota Cassidy.
 
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
BERKLEY
®
SENSATION and the “B” design are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
 
PRINTING HISTORY
Berkley Sensation trade paperback edition / March 2011
 
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
 
Cassidy, Dakota.
Accidentally catty / Dakota Cassidy. p. cm.—(An accidental series; 5)
eISBN : 978-1-101-51330-9
1. Women veterinarians—Fiction. 2. Upstate New York (N.Y.)—Fiction. 3. Shapeshifting—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3603.A8685A655 2011
813’.6—dc22
2010046659
 
 

http://us.penguingroup.com

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
In honor of Katie Wood, who creates the most fabulous covers that, even in this author’s wildest dreams, are more than I could have ever hoped for. I don’t know how I got so damned lucky, but I’m all kinds of grateful for your genius.You, my friend, rocketh!
Also to Terri, who came up with a pearl of pure funny now contained within these pages. To Kate Pearce, who was a huge help with my Britishisms.
And, as always, this is with love and gratitude to the love of my life, Rob, my family, and especially to my father, Robert. I really miss you, Dad.
Huge thanks to the League of Reluctant Adults for more ROFLMAO moments than a marathon of
Last Comic Standing
.
And to the fans, bloggers, and booksellers—your emails, your support, your Facebook posts, your tweets, your hard work, and your devotion to this series are a joy to experience.
To my pets—every last seven of you. Thank you for having more health afflictions than
War and Peace
has pages. Those very health issues, and the 2,002 trips to the vet, came in very handy when writing about medical procedures and prescriptions. I love you each because of, and in spite of, your incontinence, hyperthyroidism, one-eyed-ness, un-potty-trainable-ness, diabetes, enlarged heart, blind-and-suddenly-deaf-only-vhen-it’s-time-to-get-in-your-crate-edness. My nights just wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t have to sleep on a mere two inches of mattress in a king-sized bed while I burrow beside your beastly, stanky goodness. Truly, I adore you.
Last, but most certainly not least, to Nat in Canada (where some serious readers rule!). Seriously, dude, how could I have ever written a book without the word “homeslice” in it? Thanks for putting me back on the path of the righteous—you aiiight.
 
 
Dakota ☺
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Please note, while I researched cougars as thoroughly as possible, I’ve obviously taken some artistic license due to the nature of my humor. If I’ve inaccurately portrayed any of the facts I’ve used in the book, please consider any and all mistakes mine.
CHAPTER 1
“Uh, Dr. Woods?”
“Ingrid?”
“You do see that, don’t you? I mean, that’s not just the buttery nipple shots I had after dinner talking, right? Because, like,
oh, my effin’ God.

Katherine Woods, DVM, inhaled deep, then released with a whoosh of breath made visible by the chilly country air. “No. I didn’t have anything even remotely buttery or nipply and I see what you see.” She ran a hand over her forehead in thought.
What to do? What to do?
Ingrid Lawson, her faithful though often scatterbrained receptionist, clung to her arm, moving behind Katie. “This is a problem, right? I mean . . . you know, all on the front steps to the clinic, just out—out . . . in—in the open. Who knows what could happen? This could attract all sorts of . . . well . . .” Ingrid, too, breathed deeply, her thoughts clearly slowing with her shaky words. “Yes, bad things. It could attract very bad things. Just baaaad.”

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