Accidentally Demonic

Table of Contents

 

 

“Ms. Cassidy’s knack for the outrageously hilarious is evident throughout the story . . . Has a laugh-out-loud twist. I could not put this one down.”
—Fresh Fiction

“I have to admit that Dakota Cassidy is one of my favorite authors. I haven’t come across any of her books that didn’t deliver a strong, funny, and fabulous story line packed with passion, and
The Accidental Human
is no exception. You won’t want to miss this one!”

“A delightful, at times droll, contemporary tale . . . Dakota Cassidy provides a fitting twisted ending to this amusingly warm urban romantic fantasy.”
—Genre Go Round Reviews

“A paranormal romance with a strong dose of humor . . . The characters are fun as hell.”
—Errant Dreams

 

“Funnier than hell. If you like the writing styles of MaryJanice Davidson or Katie MacAlister, then you will love Dakota Cassidy. She’s in a class all her own!”
—Bitten by Books

“A laugh-out-loud follow-up to
The Accidental Werewolf
, and it’s a winner . . . Ms. Cassidy is an up-and-comer in the world of paranormal romance.”
—Fresh Fiction

“Jumping from one supernatural species to another . . . Cassidy’s snappy dialogue and outlandish situations ensure snickers aplenty.”

“An enjoyable, humorous satire that takes a bite out of the vampire romance subgenre . . . Fans will appreciate the nonstop hilarity.”

 

“Cassidy, a prolific author of erotica, has ventured into MaryJanice Davidson territory with a humorous, sexy tale.”
—Booklist

“If Bridget Jones became a lycanthrope, she might be Marty. Fun and flirty humor is cleverly interspersed with dramatic mystery and action. It’s hard to know which character to love best, though—Keegan or Muffin, the toy poodle that steals more than one scene.”

“A riot! Marty’s internal dialogue will have you howling, and her antics will keep the laughs coming. If you love paranormal with a comedic twist, you’ll love this book.”
—Romance Junkies

“A lighthearted romp . . . [An] entertaining tale with an alpha twist.”
—Midwest Book Review

 

“The fictional equivalent of the little black dress . . . Funny, sexy, and a must-have accessory for every reader.”

—Michele Bardsley, national bestselling author of
Over My Dead Body

“Serious, laugh-out-loud humor with heart, the kind of love story that leaves you rooting for the heroine, sighing for the hero, and looking for your own significant other at the same time.”—Kate Douglas

“Dakota Cassidy is going on my must-read list!”
—Joyfully Reviewed

“If you’re looking for some steamy romance with something that will have you smiling, you have to read [Dakota Cassidy].”

“Ditsy and daring . . . Pure escapist fun.”
—Romance Reviews Today

 

KISS & HELL

 

 

 

 

THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF

 

ACCIDENTALLY DEAD

 

THE ACCIDENTAL HUMAN
ACCIDENTALLY DEMONIC

THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada
(a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
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(a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.)
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(a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.)
Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196,
South Africa

 

Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

 

This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.

 

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

Copyright © 2010 by Dakota Cassidy.

 

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions. BERKLEY® SENSATION and the “B” design are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

PRINTING HISTORY
Berkley Sensation trade paperback edition / February 2010

 

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

 

Cassidy, Dakota.
Accidentally demonic / Dakota Cassidy.
p. cm.

eISBN : 978-1-101-17163-9

1. Vampires—Fiction. I. Title
PS3603.A8685A67 2010
813’.6—dc22 2009038687

 

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thanks to the usual suspects; Renee George, Michele Bardsley, Terri Smythe, Jaynie Ritchie, Vicki Burklund, Erin, Qwill (you rock the mod, baby), Kaz, Sheri Fogarty, my group of “Accidental Fans” and “The Babes.” Also to my son’s friend Terrence. Dude, I love your accent so much I based a character on you, who has one that I hope reads just like it. So in your honor—“Fo sho, you da bomb- diggety!”

Mucho thanks to the makers of Guitar Hero World Tour and Rock Band—uh-huh, you read that right. I know what you’re thinking: but she’s too old for video games. Ah, but old people rock, too. Just not as hard, or nearly as long before we need Ben-Gay massages and warm milk. Anyway, you have no idea how many plot issues have been solved while I beat those drums during the Foo Fighters “Everlong”—or the utter and pathetic joy I feel when pretending I’m the drum player for Boston.

Picture me, fist held high, index and pinky finger skyward, my tongue hanging out à la Gene Simmons and hear my rebel yell, “Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo!”

Next up to conquer: Dancing with the Authors.

Huge, huge thanks to my editor, Cindy Hwang, who gives my whacked sense of humor a forum. Elaine Spencer, my agent, and everyone at The Knight Agency. Crystal Jordon, whose librarian skills bar none.

And always the fans. You gave the accidentals a shot—you’re the reason I can’t go to a reader convention without someone asking “Is
this
in my color wheel?” You crack me up when you let your heads hang low and sheepishly tell me narrowed of eye with hushed defiance, “I
like
the color yellow—so—so
there
!” That my crazy has spread speaks devotion—and forever I’m beyond grateful to every single person who’s picked up a copy of one of my books, shared it with a friend (you brave warriors), got it from the library, or even bought it from a bargain bin. Thank you, thank you!

Never to be forgotten, Rob—a man who loves me even when I wander around in my pajamas with greasy hair, bemoaning my lack of word count, and worrying I’ve written myself into a corner. A man who totally understands that this profession means sometimes he takes a backseat. With my dirty laundry revealed publicly, it only goes to show you that true love really
does
exist, even if it needs glasses and a thorough psychiatric evaluation.

Dakota

CHAPTER 1

“Wandaaaaa!” Casey Schwartz whispered low and harsh into the mouthpiece of a black phone attached by—of all the demeaning, degrading things—a rusty
chain
to its base. It was debilitating. No, that wasn’t the right word. It was debasing.
Debilitating
meant to incapacitate.

Oh. My. She was officially so freaked she had the disease known as contextual error.

Though, in her defense, and despite her almost sickening anxiety, this situation could very well be debilitating, if, say, Big Sue next door decided to make good on her threat to yank her intestines out through her belly button.

“Casey?”

Her gulp was undoubtedly audible, but she refused to allow her voice to wobble. If Wanda knew just how hysterical Casey was, she’d only get hysterical, too. The Schwartzes hysterical together equaled hysterical to the millionth power. “Ye—” She cleared her throat, wiping away the squeak and hoping to keep the tremor of her bottom lip in check. “Yes, Wanda, it’s me. Your long-lost sister who never calls you.” Well, except when she’s in some deep doody. Like now. Yes, now would be the kind of doody one might call deep. Either way, that wasn’t exactly how she’d hoped her opening line would come out.

If she’d ever felt like complete shit for not calling Wanda and her parents more before today, it would never compare to the steaming pile that was her remorse right now.

“Oh, honey.” Wanda’s tone grew gentle and admonishing all at once. “Don’t be like that. I told you to call me whenever you’re able, didn’t I? No strings attached. I know your life is busy and getting away from that tyrant you work for is difficult. I totally understand your not being able to even so much as pick up a phone until maybe as far into the future as when Mars and Venus align. Really, I do. But believe it or not, I can’t talk right now. I’m on my way for a girls’ weekend in lovely Connecticut with Marty and Nina. We’re off to a B and B for some quality girl bonding.”