Across Carina (23 page)

Maybe it was just the
word
“love,” and not the concept of it, that was foreign. I sensed that Delora and the others had felt love—at least parts of it—but had not known what to do with the feeling.

After watching the rest of the dance, I returned my attention to the girls. They had huddled together and were whispering amongst themselves.

My instincts told me to move on. I was sleeping at Aswin’s house, and the girls had just shown me their disapproval of him. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before they learned of the connection.

Before I departed, one of the girls broke from the group and touched me, warming the back of my arm. Aside from Sal, hardly anyone in Carina had touched me. I supposed I’d grown accustomed to Tyson’s afternoon hugging sprees, and all these days I had longed, in the farthest corners of my mind, for touch and for love.

“Your hair is good,” the girl told me.

Basic but approving words from the mouth of a pig.

Interestingly, our hair was different. Hers was blonde and fine, and mine was dark brown and thick. So I wasn’t sure if she admired my hair, envied it, or just thought it was so ugly that she’d look better beside me. Either way, it seemed that I had been accepted into her clique—something I didn’t know existed on Lendon.

I decided to shadow the girls. It could be informative. At the very least, it would excuse me from Aswin’s stories.

That night the girls showed me how to spear fish and properly clean and cut them open for dinner. We shared a three-foot-long fish. It was orange, with ivory specks and whiskers. I couldn’t categorize it any further. I knew nothing of sea life, and eating that raw fish from head to tail was like choking in a slow-motion nightmare. However, as I was the newcomer, with nowhere else to go and nothing else to do, I kept my repulsion to myself.

The next day the girls took me to the roofs of the village, where they looked down on the villagers. They criticized those who wore fish skin of a lesser quality. I couldn’t tell the difference. One passerby was judged for her curly hair.

“It should be chopped off in her sleep!” one of the girls spewed.

She ran a few fingers through her own hair. It was silky and straight.

So the girls didn’t like curly hair. At least I didn’t have to worry about them pursuing Sal. Not that he would have returned their advances.

They’re far too stupid.

At sixteen, these girls were on their own for the first time. But their freedom was an illusion. It dribbled from their mouths like the spit of pigs who had crammed in too much meal from the trough. They served no purpose except to occupy space and corrupt the younger girls in the village.

Sadly, their efforts were working. Many of the younger girls stopped by while we were on the roofs. They came to say hello—to watch the older girls—and I could see the awe in their eyes.

Sixteen. What an appalling age to form an identity.

I grew weary of the girls’ routine, and on the third day I abandoned them. I found Sal at Aswin’s house and told him that I was ready to leave. I asked if he’d made any progress on contacting Cruz. He criticized me for being wishy-washy.

“What are you talking about?” I demanded.

Sal lowered his voice. “Can we not do this right now?”

He looked sideways at Aswin, who was sharpening his spear in the corner.

“He can’t hear us,” I said. “You and I need to talk about Cruz. Please.”

Aswin stood up, examining his spear.

“Any requests?” he asked softly.

It sounded like he was talking to himself, but then he turned to Sal and me.

“Any requests?” he repeated.

“For what?” I asked.

“Dinner,” he said.

“Oh.” I shook my head. “Whatever you can find, I guess.”

He started for the door. Just before he disappeared, he glanced over his shoulder.

“I’m happy to see you again, Jade.”

I didn’t know what to say.

When he was gone, I looked at Sal.

“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” I said. “I’ve been sleeping here.”

“Well that’s all you’ve been doing here,” Sal remarked. “I think he’d like to get to know you.”

I shrugged. “Sorry. I’m just not sure I want to get to know
him.
”

“You can’t have it both ways,” Sal said. He grabbed my hands and pulled me in. “You don’t believe that Aswin spoke to Cruz, yet you demand that I find Cruz so you can go home. You’re like those people who pray when it’s convenient.”

“Don’t get self-righteous on me, Sal Yurek.”

I backed him up against the wall, but he just stared at me. Then he stepped forward, narrowing the gap between us. I didn’t budge. With my hands on my hips, I waited for him to act.

“Jade, I’m warning you. Do not push me right now.”

There’s an idea.

“I’m tired of you telling me what to do,” I said. “I want to make some of the decisions.”

“What are you talking about?” Sal asked. “You’ve made at least half of the decisions. Don’t forget that you’re the one who wanted to go home. I’m just along for the ride.”

“Bull!” I snapped. “You wanted to go home just as much as I did.”

I circled him, and he turned with me, never breaking eye contact. His chest puffed out like he was holding his breath.

“Really, Jade? I don’t even know if my family’s alive. They’re probably all dead by now! And what do you mean as much as you
did?
Do you not want to go home anymore?”

I threw up my hands. “I don’t know! I don’t want to stay here, but I’m not sure I want to go home. There may be other worlds for us, simpler than Earth but not as boring as here.”

Sal chuckled. “Just searching for paradise, aren’t you?”

My heart was pounding. I left myself and watched it pound through my chest, on its way to clobber Sal.

I had almost forgotten that we were under water. But Sal’s swaying curls reminded me. I suddenly felt claustrophobic in that fish tank of a planet.

“I can’t take it, Sal. I’m sorry. I’m suffocating here. Please, let’s go now, and we can worry about home another day. We can explore together!”

I reached for him, and he closed in on me. My hand slid down his neck to his strong, bare chest. His skin was smooth as ever in the water.

He breathed heavily, releasing a stream of bubbles. In any other circumstance I would’ve laughed, but in that moment I only wanted one thing.

Sal knew exactly what. He picked me up, and my legs opened around him. We crashed into the stone wall, and this time we didn’t stop after one kiss. Desire was pumping adrenaline through my entire body.

Sal massaged my scalp as he pressed against me. His lips were warm in the cool water. I tried to pull him even closer, but we were already half fused, so we fell entwined on the floor.

As he bit my earlobe, my thoughts heated and melted away. All I had left was to feel—his tongue on the roof of my mouth, his hand moving down my back, my toes outstretched behind him, my fingers clinging to his shorts.

Too soon we were interrupted. Aswin swam through the door with a large fish hanging off his spear. At the sight of us, he nearly dropped the spear, and the fish slid to the floor. Aswin stared, his eyes in a fluster.

I pushed Sal off. He tried to stand, but he wobbled, barely catching his balance on the edge of the table.

Aswin tightened his grip on the spear and began to march toward Sal.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked me.

“No!” I shouted. “I swear! It’s just—it’s hard to explain.”

Aswin turned toward me, but kept his eyes on Sal.

“Try,” he said.

“Please sit down,” I asked.

Neither he nor Sal moved. Each was waiting for the other to turn his back, to be the first one exposed.

“Please!” I insisted.

Finally, they obliged. With their eyes on each other, they moved to the table and sat down in opposing seats. I followed, placing myself at the head of the table. My heart was racing, and even in the water I could felt myself sweat.

Aswin was still staring at Sal. He had thinned lips and slanted eyes. He looked like he was about to leap across the table and bury Sal under the house. I knew that any explanation would have to stem from my mouth. I just had to decide which seed to plant.

“Have you not seen two people kiss before?” I asked Aswin, tapping lightly on the table.

“Is that what you were doing?” he asked.

It wasn’t an accusation, but a sincere question.

I at least had him listening. Although, his spear was stationed between his legs like he might stop listening and strike at any moment. He was a small child with a weapon.

Very slowly, I leaned across the table and took his spear. He didn’t stop me.

“You said your people conceive,” I continued, setting the spear aside, “but I think you may be missing half of the equation. On Earth, when two people like each other—”

“You mean love?” Aswin interrupted. His jaw relaxed. “That thing you spoke of when we met?”

“Uh . . . no, not
love
,” I said, not wanting to sound clingy in front of Sal. “Like comes
before
love.” I paused, then backpedaled. “But that doesn’t mean you have to end up loving someone. You might just like them and never feel anything more. There’s really no way of knowing how you’ll feel in the future.”

Aswin frowned and looked at Sal.

“What were you doing to her?” he demanded.

“Just let her finish,” Sal said.

“When you like
or
love someone, you kiss them,” I said. “It’s simple, really. You just press your lips against theirs.”

“And?” Aswin prodded.

“And that’s it,” I said. “It feels nice.”

Sal rubbed his forehead. “Should we even be introducing this? There could be implications. If Cruz didn’t intend—”

“Their world is just young,” I said. “I’m sure this was coming.”

Aswin looked back and forth between us.

“Show me,” he said.

“Well I can’t,” I said. “I don’t like or love you. It would be wrong.”

“Not according to most of Earth,” Sal muttered.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like we’re talking about sex, Sal.”

“Then kiss him if it’s no big deal.”

Aswin looked excited, but then furrowed his white eyebrows.

“Wait,” he said, “what is sex?”

This is ludicrous.

“Aswin, how do you think you got here?” I asked.

“Their definitions are different,” Sal said. “Their experiences are different.”

“Forget it,” I said. “We’re not going down that road.”

I leaned across the table to meet Aswin halfway.

“Just come here,” I told him. “I’ll kiss your cheek and that’s it.”

He rubbed his hands together. He was a kid on Christmas Eve. He leaned in, and I pecked his cheek. I could have kissed a paperback novel; it wouldn’t have felt any different. But Aswin clapped and smiled.

“I have two ways to offer you thanks!” he said.

I settled back into my chair. Sal leaned over and whispered something about making up for things later.

“That’s not necessary, Aswin,” I said, pretending I hadn’t heard Sal.

“But you don’t know what my gifts are!” he cried.

He jumped up, counting on his fingers.

“First, the dolphins swim through a few times a year. It’s—”

Sal stood. “Dolphins? I thought nothing bigger than that fish swam in these waters.”

He pointed at our dinner, which was bleeding out on the floor.

“Well, except for the dolphins,” Aswin said cheerfully. “Now when they arrive, I will make sure that you each get to take a ride. It’s a tradition.”

“A ride?” I asked.

“On the dolphins!” he said.

Sal grinned. “What’s the second gift?”

“I will try to reach Cruz for you,” Aswin said.

Finally, progress.

“Let us eat!” Aswin shouted. “The dolphins arrive tonight!”

After dinner, Aswin led us to the outskirts of the village. For the first time, I saw him without his spear. He said that he would not threaten the dolphins.

The entire village had come out for the occasion. Swimming with dolphins was something that I had always wanted to do, and now I was going to do it. But part of me was afraid. On Earth dolphins were known to be friendly, but that didn’t mean the ones on Lendon were. It seemed risky to ride an animal that could overpower me.

Not that leaving for space in a golden chariot was any better.

The crowd began to push off the ocean floor. I didn’t lag too far behind. My practice had served me well.

Halfway to the surface, everyone stopped and waited, peering anxiously into the blue. Murmurs of when the dolphins would arrive traveled from one person to the next.

Sal floated beside me, grinning uncontrollably. His cheeks were flushed with excitement, and his tail was glistening ruby red. All traces of the yellow were lost. The splash of color was a nice contrast to Lendon’s monochromatic look.

“What do we do when they come?” I asked Aswin.

He had been silent ever since we’d left his house. He was floating calmly on my other side, the slightest hint of a smile on his lips. I knew that he was not full of the ambivalence that I was. He had probably ridden dozens of dolphins in his life.

“You will be chosen,” he said. “Do not try to choose a dolphin. The right one will come to you.”

As if on cue, a whistle shot through the ocean. In the distance, the water darkened, and then the darkness began to move toward us. As it neared, I saw that it was at least four pods of dolphins. In such large numbers they did look menacing. Some of them were comparable in size to whales.

The dolphins stopped a few yards in front of us, forming a line that mirrored our own. In the resulting silence, every detail caught my eye—the abrupt immobilization of the villagers; the shifting eyes of parties on both sides; and the bite marks dotting the backs of several male dolphins, whose parted beaks displayed little cone-shaped teeth. Lendon’s four suns cast shadow upon shadow, and it was difficult to see where we began and ended.