After Class (13 page)

25

James’ car roars down the block and up the street to his home, where Tiffany is already getting out of her car and heading up the driveway. She notices his vehicle and runs inside, trying to get away from his as fast as she possibly can.

“Wait!” He calls out after her in his car, even though he knows that she can’t hear him, he wishes that she could feel his remorse.

Just as James breaks the threshold on the driveway with his car, Tiffany is inside and the door is locked behind her. James gets out of his car as fast as he possibly can and head up towards the door. He goes to unlock it with his key but is interrupted by his wife’s voice calling out to him through the door. “Don’t even think about coming in here!”

“Tiffany.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Jameson! Go!”

James stands helplessly against the door, his head placed on it and his hands on the doorknob. “Just please open the door. Let me explain.”

“Explain what? What is there to explain James! We are falling apart!”

James can feel a lump forming in his throat and he is choking back the tears. “Tiff…”

“Just please leave. I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Where am I supposed to go? We have to talk about this. We have to figure it out.”

There is silence behind the door. James can hear Tiffany walking away from the door. He goes to enter his key and turns the knob but something is preventing him from gaining entry. Tiffany has placed a chair behind the door and James cannot open it. He sticks his head through the crack of the door. “When you are ready to talk, I’m here. I’m not leaving.”

He closes the door behind him and locks it. Then, he sits on the front porch and waits. He waits for Tiffany to come talk to him and he waits for the moment he can explain to her what is going on. He can’t help but feel his heart ripping out of his chest. He knew this was a bad idea from the start but he never expected that things would get this bad. It was a simple agreement and was only supposed to happen once. How could he have let this get out of control?

Just then, his mind is flooded with thoughts of her – of Taylor. He thinks about how young he makes her feel and the way her face lights up when she smiles. He reminisces about her shyness and how that much more adorable it makes her. He thinks about her perfect body and the way his hands can fit around her perfectly, as if her body was made for his. James takes out his phone and prepares a text message for Taylor, but his fingers prevent him from typing. Instead, he stuffs the phone away, packs his suit jacket into a little makeshift pillow and curls up on the stoop.

Tiffany heads upstairs to the master bedroom where she peers out of the window to see if James is still there. She notices that his car is still in the driveway and in the faint of the night, can barely see his feet dangling off of the front porch. Was he seriously going to stay there the whole night for her? She would wait until the morning to find out.

26

Taylor sits in sweatpants, a t-shirt with no makeup, her hair freshly washed and her eyes still bloodshot from all of the crying. She holds a mug of warm cocoa to her lips and sits next to the fire raging from the pit outside.

Then, the screen door to the deck opens and out walks Chantelle, carrying a tray with an assortment of dessert goodies and other treats. She also carries a sweatshirt around her arm. “Ready to put some weight on your bones? Also, I thought you might get chilly, so I also brought you a sweater,” she says as she slides the screen door closed with one hand and continues to walk towards Taylor out in the backyard.

Taylor smiles as Chantelle approaches, and grabs the sweatshirt from Chantelle’s extended hand. “Thanks again. I really appreciate you taking me in for the night like this.”

“Anytime, girl. You know the saying, once a Spartan always a Spartan. We need to stick together.” She smiles and sits down on the bench next to Taylor and hands her something sweet to snack on. “Hungry?”

Once a Spartan, always a Spartan, hey? She wishes she could say the same fo Chad and Nicole right now. Even though Taylor can’t even fathom the thought of it, she feels obligated to have a bite of chocolate and caramel, since Chantelle has been so welcoming and hospitable. “Thanks. Sorry it’s so late.”

Chantelle shakes her head. “No, no, no, I’m always up this late. I swear, switching from the night shift in the ER screws my schedule for at least a few days, so you caught me on a good night,” she smiles at Taylor.

Taylor smiles back and turns to the fire before another tear can escape her eyes. She tries to hold it back. Chantelle notices Taylor trying to swallow back the tears. She puts another piece of chocolate in her mouth before speaking.

“So, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but Tay, what happened tonight?”

Taylor shakes her head. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Well, start at the beginning of the night?”

Taylor is instantly teleported back to the image of Tiffany’s painstaking gaze when she saw Taylor as James’ young mistress. She can’t even feel guilty for it because of what happened after. “I don’t know…”

Chantelle sits quietly beside her. She takes a sip of cocoa from her mug, waiting and hoping that Taylor breaks.

“I… He cheated…” she says under her breath.

Chantelle slides over closer to Taylor on the bench. “Tell me what happened, babe.”

Taylor’s bottom lip begins to quiver and she puts her finger to her lip to stop it, but it is no use. No dam can stop the floodgates that are about to pour out of her eyes. “Chad cheated on me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Chantelle says, wrapping her arms around Taylor, embracing her close. She pulls Taylor in and Taylor automatically cradles her head into Chantelle’s chest. The comfort is warming and very reminiscent of a mother protecting her youth. “What happened?”

Taylor tries to speak between bouts of tears, her voice is shaky and unsteady the entire time. “I don’t know. I just came home from… I just came home and there he was… on the bed… with Nicole…”

She cries harder.

“Are you serious?” Chantelle can hardly believe it.

Little does she know that’s not even half of the story.

“I’m so, so sorry,” she continues pulling Taylor in close. “And right before exams no less.”

Chantelle’s sentence pierces through Taylor’s gut. She’s instantly taken back to the moment with James. Even though the thought disturbs her now, her heart yearns for him and aches. She tries to stop it, but she can’t. It just comes out. She can’t help it.

“I slept with him.”

Chantelle barely hears Taylor’s whisper. “What’s that, babe? You did what?”

Taylor swallows hard and sits upright on the bench. She faces Chantelle and looks her dead in the eyes. Chantelle looks right back at her with a concerned look stamped right across her face. “What’s going on?

Taylor takes a deep breath in. “I did it. I did what you told me to do.”

Chantelle mulls over the words for a bit but still can’t comprehend it. “What did I tell you to do?”

“I just wanted an A+. I just wanted to be successful. I just wanted to make them proud…” Taylor starts to break down again.

Chantelle watches the break down before her eyes and that is when everything starts to click. “Did you sleep with a prof?”

Taylor shakes her head up and down slightly, turning her gaze away from Chantelle in embarrassment. “I don’t even know why.” She starts to cry again.

“Did something go wrong? Or do you just feel bad? It was easy for me,” she laughs to herself.

Taylor remains quiet, finding the courage to speak. “It went bad.”

“Did someone find out?”

Taylor shakes her head yes. “His wife.”

Chantelle’s jaw drops. She turns her gaze to the fire, not knowing what to say. The motion causes Taylor to feel even more unsettled, like she did something else wrong. “What?”

Chantelle shakes her head. “I don’t know, Tay.”

“I’m busted! I’m busted, aren’t I?” She becomes inconsolable and drops her mug onto the ground, holding her head in her hands to conceal her tears.

Chantelle returns her hand to Taylor’s back and rubs it slightly. “You just need to figure out how to mend it. You just need to make sure that his wife understands and that she doesn’t go to the board. Does anyone else know?”

Taylor shakes her head. “I have no idea.”

Chantelle sits quietly beside her. “You just need to apologize. Tell him that you’re sorry, hopefully he does the same and hopefully his wife doesn’t freak out further. Realistically, she should be pissed at him but you know how it always goes with these things – people get mad at the wrong person.”

Taylor shakes her head. “I know what I have to do. How did you get away with it though?”

Chantelle shrugs her shoulders. “It only happened once and no one let their emotions get the better of them. It’s just sex, after all, right?”

The question is one that Taylor can barely comprehend, but one she answered anyways. “You’re right. It’s just sex.”

Was it just sex though? The way he brushed her hair out of her face and caressed her skin? How it felt like more than just a rendezvous? The way they looked at each other like no one else mattered in the world.  How time literally felt as though it stopped still when they were together. How it happened more than once and how it was bound to happen again.

The two girls sit quietly, side by side, staring blankly at the fire. Chantelle says nothing, but hands over more goodies for Taylor to snack on. “No, I’m fine.” She turns them away.

Chantelle grabs a handful and shoves them into her mouth, using it as a homemade filter to try to block out anything that might come out of her mouth, as single raindrops start to fall from the sky.

27

The rain intensifies and thunder roars throughout the night sky as the sheets rustle as Tiffany tosses and turns in the lonely king size bed. Her mind is racing, her eyes still puffy and red and the sniffles still riddle her nasal cavity. Her heart pounds in her chest at a rapid rate the more she thinks about what just happened. Yes, her marriage was slipping through the cracks but she was doing everything in her power to make it work. She gave James his space. She cooked him dinner every night. She did her best to keep the spark alive. It felt like it was all on her shoulders. She was the only one trying to do any repairs. It just wasn’t fair.

Knowing that James was still on the front stoop drove her mad. She felt a fire ignite in her veins. How could he do something like this to her? After 10 years of marriage, this is how he repaid her for everything? No, it wasn’t going to happen like this.

Tiffany rises from the bed and turns on the bedside table lamp beside her to try to locate her robe through the dark room. She finds it folded over a chair by the vanity and wraps herself around in it. Then, she locates her furry slippers and slips her feet inside of the cozy interior, one foot at a time. She leaves the light on for her return and then leaves the master bedroom.

The walk down the grand spiral staircase feels like it takes forever. That, paired with the light-headedness she experiences from all of the crying, is enough to make her want to faint, but she charges on. She must. She has to.

James rolls over on the front stoop trying to protect himself from the rain as it pelts down on him like tiny punishment reminders of what he has done wrong. He can hear footsteps leading up to the door amidst the cries from the sky. His heart races in his chest and he turns over all the way, ready to face his wife again.

Tiffany unlocks the door slowly and it feels like it takes an eternity for it to open. The cool night storm air hits her and it is a breath of fresh air, despite locking eyes with James. He stands to greet her and stares at her in the rain. Tiffany neglects to turn on the front light and stares at him in the dark.

“Tiffany,” he begins.

“It’s over, James. We both know it’s over. You just knew it before I did. Now I know too.”

The tears choke James as he starts to speak. “No, it’s not over. It doesn’t have to end. I love you.”

Tiffany shakes her head. “I will always love you, but I don’t deserve this. No one deserves this, James. We are lying to ourselves. It’s not fair anymore.”

James tries to fight back. “I can’t accept that.”

He charges into the home and grabs Tiffany by the face, pulling her in for a deep and passionate kiss. His soaking wet clothes immerse Tiffany in wetness. She tries to fight back and her lips pucker when his lips touch hers, like her body is trying to reject him. He presses on, trying his damndest to get a rise out of his wife, even for one last time.

He slams the door closed behind him, while the thunder still roars in the background. He presses Tiffany up against the front entrance bench, and forces his body against hers. She can feel him against her, but not in the way that she is used to. James tries to kiss at her neck and become more vigorous with his movements but Tiffany lies there, lifeless and defeated. She knows better.

“You can’t even get it up, James. Stop trying.”

James takes a step back and his head hangs down. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what happened with us and I don’t know if I ever will, but what I do know is that this isn’t working anymore. I can’t keep being the one who puts in all of the effort. I can’t be the one who tries to make us work while you are off fucking some young blonde thing. I deserve real love too and I don’t have it with you, Jameson. Yes, I used to but something changed. You changed. We changed.” She chokes back the tears.

The two are only inches apart but the distance between them feels like it spans decades. “It’s over,” Tiffany repeats. “You know it too.”

As a man, James refuses to acknowledge that this is the end of his marriage. He can’t accept that something that was in his power has failed. He, as a husband, has failed. He, as a man, has failed. The tears well in his eyes even further. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t,” Tiffany begins. “I should have ended it a long time ago, but I couldn’t accept that it was over. Now, after tonight,” she swallows hard. “I know it’s the end.”

James nods his head in agreement.

“So, I’ll pack up my stuff and I’ll leave town. When the semester is over, we can finalize the divorce and figure out the legalities of our assets.”

James again, nods his head in agreement.

Tiffany steps forwards and grabs him gently by the cheeks. She brings his gaze up to meet hers. Defeat is marked across his wet face and it is stained by tears, snot and shame. “Just be careful. You worked hard for this career and I know how much it means to you. Don’t. Fuck. It. Up.”

She loosens her grasp on him and heads upstairs toward the bedroom. James already knows he is confined to the couch tonight. She doesn’t have to say another word.

He walks solemnly into the sunken living room, and undresses out of his wet clothes. He carries them into the kitchen and plops them into the sink. The cool still air of the house stings his wet naked skin. He grabs a nearby throw and wraps himself on it before lying down on the leather couch.

His mind races and he can’t help but let a few single tears roll down this face. Was this really the end? Was that it?

He loved Tiffany and he always will but he knew he couldn’t fight his attraction to Taylor. He always remained a faithful and kind husband. He never wanted to do anything to hurt his wife, but when Taylor came around and even from the first time he saw her, he had to have her. He just knew he couldn’t, which is why he put so much pressure on her in class to do well. He wanted to see her succeed like he knew he could. He wanted to see her surpass any expectation he had in her, and she always did.

James lies awake on the couch for what feels like hours; a piece of his heart ripped right out of his chest. His divorce is over, his job is at risk if anyone finds out and he could lose everything he has ever worked hard for.

Was Taylor even worth it? He didn’t know and at this point in time, he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.