After Forever Ends (74 page)

“She was sweet in her own way.”

“She was! Oh, how I hated her once! And why? In the end, we were in the same family. Cousins. We were friends,” She sighed, “And then there’s Lance. Did I ever tell you that I had a crush on him?”

“Of course you did.”

“He didn’t find me attractive. I was too tall,” She smiled. What she said was true. Lance liked Sandra, but she was not at all his choice in women being as he only stood to her chest. “But I thought he was one of the most handsome boys at Bennington.”

“He was a bit of a cutie in his day.”

“I’m just so glad I knew him. Merlyn, too. Merlyn was a nice boy. He used to help me with my luggage the first and last days of school. It was like a tradition, him helping me haul them out of the car and through the gates. I was always forgetting my code, you know, to get in, so he’d wait for me and punch his in. I don’t know why he did it,” Sandy wasn’t looking at me as she spoke. Her eyes were fixed on something far away.

“He did it because he liked you. Merlyn wouldn’t have stood there waiting for just anybody.”

“Yes, I would have counted him as a friend. I would have dated him if he’d asked me. My father would have had a fit with him being black, but I’d have done it anyway. I never cared about anyone’s colour. Merlyn was a great chap. He came from such a good family Daddy would have had to have gotten over it sooner or later,” She had a look on her face like she had a completely separate thought, then came back and finished, “But Ollie and Alex…they were well above my station.”

“You knew the twins the whole time you were there!”

“I did. I met them first year, but they weren’t my friends. Not until you came along. Ollie was nice to me, but Ollie was nice to everyone unless they irked him. It wasn’t like he made any effort to notice me. We just had classes together. And Alexander? Well, I don’t know what went on with me and Alexander. There was that short period in time when I thought we might get to know each other. I was terrified!” She laughed, “He was so handsome and so bloody mean! I think I might have brushed him off more than I meant to because after a while he wasn’t anything more than polite to me. He never gave me the time of day again.”

“What are you talking about? Alex was very fond of you! I know he was because he told me! And so was Oliver!”

She patted me on the back, “They may have been fond enough of me, but I was not on their social magnitude! I wasn’t in their crowd! They only chose me because they chose you and I came attached.”

“Social magnitude?” I snorted, “I was invisible, too!”

Sandra burst out laughing, “Oh, Silvia! I always loved that about you! You were always in your own little world! You didn’t know how much you stood out. When you got to Bennington everyone was talking about you. You had all that lovely red hair and those huge boobs!” She laughed, covering her mouth with the back of her hand, “And Oliver was besotted with you from moment one. Oh, he’d sit and watch you like there wasn’t another woman alive. It didn’t matter what you were doing, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you! That really brassed the girls off, but the boys were all jealous of Oliver. There wasn’t one who didn’t fancy you.”

“That’s not true!”

“No, it is! That morning you arrived everyone was chattering. ‘The new girl, you should see her! She looks like a right snob’, the girls said, ‘She was on the quad flirting with the Dickinson twins! It was terrible!’ The boys were all going on about how gorgeous you were. I decided to hate you immediately and then I saw the name on the list of my new dorm mate. Silvia Cotton. I knew it was you! They did everything by the alphabet…why wasn’t there a B that year?” She laughed out loud and squeezed my shoulder, “When you walked into that room and said hello to me I wanted to scream. I was sure you’d be awful, but you were so sweet. And helpful! Remember I found that hole in the seat of my uniform and you fixed it straight away! How long exactly did it take us to be best friends?”

“I don’t know. Six minutes?”

She laughed again, “Bennington was a lonely place for me until you came. No one noticed me. You took the time to see me. You were my first best friend, Sil. I lived for those late nights when we would sit up and talk way past lights out. They meant the whole world to me. I was so sad when you got to move into the game keeper’s quarters. I was happy for you, but I missed having my best friend all to myself. I wanted to throttle Oliver for stealing you away like that!”

“I’ve always missed you since. Isn’t it odd, though? All these years and it’s like we’ve only been apart for five minutes, really.”

“That’s how you know a soul mate. Time and distance make no difference. You just pick up where you left off.”

We sat for a long time. Finally, I asked what I was thinking, “We missed so much of each other’s lives. We talk on the phone often, but now that I’m here, look at me and tell me true, Sandra. Was yours a happy life?”

She looked up into the sky, “I think so. My marriage was a train wreck. My husband drank and philandered. My children were spoiled rotten. They had no respect for me. There were times I was unhappy. It got better once they all left. I got on with my life then, I had discreet affairs. I travelled. I have some regrets, but all in all, I’d say yes. How about you?”

“I could die right now and know I had a wonderful life. I had wonderful friends, a wonderful marriage and wonderful children. I did all I wanted to do and saw what I wanted to see. Yes, I’ve have had a great life.”

“Regrets?”

“None.”

“I didn’t think you would.” We were quiet for what seemed an age. Sandy finally spoke. “You lied to me once.”

“I did?”

“Yes. The night you came back to Bennington after you married Oliver. You told me a huge lie.”

“What was that?”

“That sex was like magic,” She said and we both laughed until it hurt, “It was never like magic for me!”

“I’m sorry!” I said sincerely.

“Ah, it’s all the same, isn’t it?” Sandra still looked like herself when she smiled. I could see that little girl from Bennington peeking through the folds in her skin, still see that little spark of wonder in her blue green eyes, “I got over the disappointment.”

“I was never disappointed. Sex was always magic for me.”

“Well, why wouldn’t it be for you? You and Ollie are the stuff young girls dream of. You don’t hear of a story like yours too often.”

People were always telling us that. “We are very lucky.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t even have to work at it. Your marriage, I mean. Don’t tell me it was always wonderful. I couldn’t bear to hear it!” She pressed her hands to her ears. “I know he’s not perfect!”

“No,” I answered slowly, “He’s not perfect. Sometimes we did have to work at it. Sometimes we still do. We don’t always agree. Sometimes we even fight, but we make each other laugh, too. That’s our secret. We just laugh at each other. And at ourselves. Well, we really just laugh at everything and everyone.”

“You always did.”

“Yes, because the world’s as bloody funny as it is serious!” I explained, “And we’ve always chosen to laugh instead of cry. It’s always been wonderful, though, being with him, even during the hard times. Even when I want to club him in the head with something, I love him just the same as I always have. More, really, if you want the truth.”

“How can you?”

“Because he’s Oliver. Silvia loves Oliver and Oliver loves Silvia. It’s just the way it’s supposed to be. It’s been the only thing constant in my life. I don’t complicate what’s simple.”

“You never wanted another man?”

“It never crossed my mind that I needed one.”

We sat in silence again for a long while. Finally, Sandra spoke, “Fifty years, Sil! Look at us! We’re a couple of old ladies!”

“Speak for yourself!” I laughed, glancing at my plait. The vibrant red of my hair had been washed away with different shades of silver. It didn’t bother me. I always thought those stripes were pretty. “I don’t feel old. I just try not to look in the mirror. It says too much.”

“That it does.”

“When will we see each other again, Sandy?”

She looked thoughtful, “I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter, really.”

“No, no matter. You’re in my heart.”

“And you’re in mine, Sil.”

I hugged my best girlfriend. “We’re going to have to go today. Oliver has to go into the office tomorrow. He said he’d help the new doctor with some of the charts. The poor lad seems overwhelmed.”

“Well, we both knew you wouldn’t stay forever, although I wish you would. Both of you,” She sounded almost hopeful, “I have plenty of room.”

“Oliver would never leave Alexander.”

“And you’d never leave Oliver.”

“Not ever.”

Sandy took my hand and squeezed it, “Then I’ll miss you both.”

“Did I ever tell you that I love you?”

“You never needed to.”

“Well, I do.”

“I love you, too, Silvia.” She stood up and smoothed her slacks, “Come on now. It’s been a lovely visit and I don’t want to let you go, but let’s get you home anyway, before I have you locked in my tower.”

We walked arm and arm back to the manor.

Later, on the way home, Oliver said, “I’m glad you had a nice visit.”

“It was the very best,” I answered honestly.

I knew I probably wouldn’t see Sandra again in this lifetime, but that was all right with both of us. Some people you meet and they’re your friend for a day. Some you meet and you never really know at all. And then there are those who get caught inside your soul and stay there forever. That was Sandra. We’d shared secrets, smiles and tears over a period of fifty two years. Sandra would always be a part of me and I would always be a part of her.

I could not have asked for a better friends or a better life, but there’s a nasty trick about living. It happens at its own pace and in its own way and you never, never know what’s coming next. So you keep running and running to keep up with it and most people get tired. Others don’t get tired. They just get overtaken by the road.

And that is what happened to us, I am afraid. It seemed like it wasn’t long after we arrived back at the wood that the aches and pains started in and Oliver and I began to dawdle. We ignored it for as long as we could. We did some travelling around Europe and did our best to keep throwing dirt at each other, but the truth was that sitting in bed together with a good book became more appealing than dashing about.

“Silvia,” He called to me the morning he turned eighty, “Come sit in the grass with me.”

“We might never be able to get up.”

He laughed over his shoulder. His hair was all salt and pepper, his face was aged, but his dark eyes were the same as ever, always smiling. “Please, Love? Take the chance? Alexander can help us up when he gets here if we get stuck.”

“He’ll throw out his back and be on the ground with us!”

Oliver grinned and held out his hand, “Come on, it’s my birthday! Give me my wish! Sit down with me and let’s watch the wind blow!”

I took his hand and sat beside him, under his arm, like we’d been doing for sixty-five years.

“I love you, Just Silvia,” He told me.

“I love you, too, Oliver,” I answered, “Happy birthday, Sweetheart.”

“It is happy. I still have you.”

So we sat. Alex and Lucy arrived shortly after and we celebrated the twin’s birthday quietly in the wood.

And before I knew it, all of us were old.

Five years later I was making pies. They were strawberry pies. I had an over eager strawberry patch that summer and only so many things I could do with them, so I had decided to make pies and was going to take them into town and give them to the Madison’s, who were a nice family that had too many children and not enough money for pies. There I was making the pies when I realised I was being watched. I looked over and saw Oliver grinning at me from the doorway.

“I love it when you look at me like that,” I returned the smile.

“You know something, Just Silvia?”

“I know a lot of things. More than you do, certainly.”

He chuckled, “Well, I don’t know if you know this or not but you are every bit as beautiful right now as you were the day I first laid eyes on you.”

“Are you going to hit me in the head with a ball?”

His eyes were twinkling, “Best shot I ever made. I’m serious, though, Sil. You’re just as beautiful as you were then. What a life. If I had a pecker that still worked when I wanted it to I’d steal you off to the back of the house and have my way with you.”

I giggled and tossed the strawberries with sugar in a bowl.

He was quiet, just staring at me.

“Oliver, you’re making me all fluttery.” I grinned.

“I always loved looking at you, you know that? It’s been the greatest joy of my life being able to look at you every single day.”

“Are you feeling sentimental?”

“Yes. Very.” He was quiet for a long time. When he spoke his voice was low, “Will you play a game with me? “

“What game?”

“You do what I say. I’d like it if you turned around.”

It was an old game and one we had not played for a very long time.

“You’ve gone gobstoppers, Old Man,” I told him.

“Please?” He asked.

I did.

“Now put your hands flat on the table.”

I did.

“Now close your eyes.”

I did.

I could hear him coming up slowly behind me. His arms wrapped around my middle and lifted my hands to my belly, holding them together beneath his own. He buried his face in my neck and breathed me in. For a moment, I was seventeen again, lost in ecstasy in the arms of the boy I was going to marry sooner than I thought.

“Marry me?” He whispered.

I nodded, “Yes, Sweetheart.”

I loved him still all those long years later with just the same passion I had the first time he'd asked me. He could still take me to that sacred place with only a touch.

We stood there together with our eyes closed in a place where age and time don’t exist, where there were no distances between us, in that place where we were safe and loved and could only get to with each other. It was the place we were always meant to be. We were together. We were home.