After the Before (8 page)

Chapter fifteen

Jasmine

When I arrive home, my mother is waiting for me in the kitchen.
She must be between pill pops because she seems more coherent than normal as she spins on me when I enter the room.

“Where have you been?” She growls out.

“I was doing research for my bio project.” As proof, I hold out the plants we collected today.

She narrows her eyes at them, like they
will tell her all my secrets if she glares hard enough. “I’m hungry, and you’re responsible for dinner.”

I know I’m responsible for dinner, but the last time she actually ate at the same time as me was well over a year ago. I have not cooked a “family” meal around here in about the same amount of time. “Okay
, what are you hungry for?”

“Don’t smart
-mouth me, little girl.” She says. To my ears, my words were polite, anything but smart-mouthed. “I was hungry when it was dinner time, and now that it’s way past that time, I don’t want anything.”

“Alright, another time then.” I take off to my room before I
unintentionally give her some other reason to slap me around.

I’m in my room for about a half hour when my cell rings
… Andrew.

             
You know that feeling you get when you want to answer, but talking is too much work? Well that’s how I’m feeling. I did tell him to call me later, so if I ignore him, I’ll feel guilty.

“Hello.”

“Jasmine… Hey.”

“Hi
, Andrew. How are you?” The few word seem forced, but I figure I can work with the basics.

“Great. I was just relaxing before I took a shower
, then I started thinking about you.” His voice has an, “
I’m trying to seduce you,”
pitch to it.

“
Um, okay. Well, I better let you go then.” Only speaking to him for a few days, and only at school between classes, how can he think it’s okay to say such a thing to me? It’s really tacky in my opinion. “I’ll talk to you at school tomorrow. Bye.” I cut him off and hang up the phone before he can say anything else.

“Oh! My! God!” I yell to the ceiling. 

I decide to hit the hay early, mostly because I can’t wait to see…

Finishing that
thought is not a good idea, but I can’t stop how I’m feeling. Why can’t I feel this way about Andrew? It would make my life so much easier.

The next morning, the first person I see at school is
Andrew, and I find myself taking a very long look at him. He’s nothing to sneeze at with his tan skin, light brown hair that’s always messy… in a styled kind of way. He’s lean and tall, standing at almost six feet. He also has this sexy, casual walk. I know, because I am watching him walk up to my car right now. I admire that walk – and it’s even better from behind.

“Hey, Jasmine
. Care for some company to your first class?” His smile is contagious.

“Yeah, sure.” I climb out of my car while Andrew holds the door open
, closing it for me once I exit. “Thanks. How’s your morning so far?”

He takes my books
. “So far, so good, but it seems to be getting better.” He winks.

“We have a few minutes until the bell rings
… you wanna get something to drink?”

“That sounds good, actually.” He moves my books under one arm and places a hand at the small of my back to lead me to the vending area. The touch is light, but enough to send tingles up my spine. “You know what you want?”

“Orange juice, please.”

“
Then orange juice it is.” He puts money in the machine and hits the button twice, plucking one out and handing it to me.

“Thank
you.” I twist the lid off and take a huge drink.

“
You want to sit down?” He gestures to the table.

“
Sure.”

“So, I was wondering…
I mean, I know we’re going to Hawaii this weekend, but I would like to take you out on a date Saturday?” Before I can answer, he goes on, “I know we get there Friday, but I thought we could take a day to settle in, and then if you wanted to, I could take you out Saturday.” I can tell how nervous he is because he just repeated himself.

I pretend to mull it over for a moment, letting him suffer. Even though I may have more
feelings than I care to admit for Alex, I can’t say that anything good would come from us being together. In fact, my mom would pretty much make sure that never happened, and I couldn’t come up with one reason why I shouldn’t give Andrew a chance. He’s handsome, smart, funny, and he seems genuinely interested in me.

“Yes. That sounds nice.”

His smile grows from ear to ear. “Yeah? Great! I’ll plan everything – you won’t have to do anything, except show up.”

“Alright
. I’m looking forward to it.” My comment seems to make him even happier.

“We should probably go. I think the bell is about to…”
and then the bell rings.

Just like yesterday, Andrew walks me to each of my classes, only today, he must have thought we’d taken a step in our relationship. He keeps touching me in small ways every chance he gets. A hand on the small of my back, fingers brushing mine in the hall, standing closer than he needs to. I have to admit, it feels nice getting this kind of attention.

W
hen we get to biology, Andrew makes sure to show more affection than necessary in front of Alex. He leans into me as I stand against the classroom doorframe, then brushes his lips against my cheek while whispering in my ear. “I have to leave early today, but I wanted to ask you if I can pick you up for school tomorrow morning?”

“That would be nice.”

“See you later.” He turns to go, but not before giving me a huge smile.

I float into class and take my seat, placing my books on the table.

I can feel the tension coming off Alex. He looks as if he wants to say something about Andrew, but instead, he goes with, “I made recipes out of the plants we picked yesterday. I thought you could make some too and we could pick the one we liked the most for extra credit.”

“That sounds fun.”

My emotions are exuberant, devastating, and terrifying, all at the same time, which makes me feel so guilty. I feel like I’m starting to slowly move on without Jace.

The conflict raging within me dances across my face, showing for only a fraction of a second, but long enough for Alex to catch
it. He gives me a look, as if he knows exactly what I’m feeling. I hate that he can seem to read me from only a glimpse.

“Are we still on for tonight?” I ask him, trying to sound casual.

His gaze travels over me, before finally resting on my eyes. “Yeah, I can pick you up at…” I cut him off before he can offer.

“No!” I say too loudly. I clear my throat and say again. “No. I’ll come to your house and call you when I’m outside. You can walk me in.” I
secretly love the idea of him coming out to walk me into his home.

His eyes are suspicious, but he doesn’t ask questions. “Eight o’clock good for you?”

“Eight sounds good.”

He nods, then
begins to read the pages assigned in class. Concentrating is like holding marbles in your splayed fingers… not possible. Usually, the teacher has us work as partners, but today she has us reading for the entire period. I don’t want to talk to him, but yet, I really do. It’s driving me crazy feeling this way.

After the bell rings
, I collect my things while Alex follows close behind me. I step into the hall and turn left, but just before I can walk away, Alex grazes his fingers over my upper arm, drawing my attention to him.

“See you later tonight.” He
says with a hint of a smile playing on his lips. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he looks as if he’s anticipating it.

“I’ll call you.” I tell him.

His fingers slide away just as smoothly as they found me, then he heads in the opposite direction. I actually have to catch my breath for a minute before turning and walking away. I want to arrive home early, spend some quality time with my dad, and finish my homework before heading to Alex’s.

Once I arrive home, I find
Dad doing physical therapy. The therapy is more to keep his muscles loose, since he’s not able to move. I tell him I that I’ll return in a little while.

After going back to spend some time with Dad, t
he rest of the evening goes by in a blur.

With my homework finished
, I find myself looking for an outfit to wear. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. I enjoy spending time with Alex, even though I shouldn’t. He’s the only one I feel comfortable with. Our pasts are intertwined, no matter how much we have changed. Sometimes, it feels more like he is something that I need in my life –a link to my past that I should stop seeing as a bad memory. I’m just so tired of feeling alone all the time.

The doorbell rings, bringing my thoughts back to reality,
and my heart falls to my stomach. “I told him not to come here.” I say aloud. This cannot be happening. I glance over at the clock, and it’s 7:20 pm.

I run down the stairs in
my jeans, and the semi dressy shirt I decided to wear; nothing flashy. Why do I have to impress anyone? Besides, I’m only playing into what I know I shouldn’t do.

Pulling the door open
, I find Andrew standing there, not Alex. Honestly, he’s the last person I expected to show up on my doorstep.

“Andrew,”
shock shows clearly through my expression. “What are you doing here?” The question comes out sounding defensive.

“
It’s nice to see you, too.” He remarks, but the smile on his face is genuine. “Your math book got mixed up with mine and I figured you might need it.”

“Thank you.”

I shift uncomfortably, giving him a look that asks, ‘
Is that everything?’

“Yeah, so
… that’s all. I’ll see you to…”

Then
she
steps out.

“Jasmine, are
n’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” My mom’s words slur together, making it plain as day that she’s plastered.

I cringe inwardly, knowing
that if I refuse, she will only make this situation worse. “Mom, this is Andrew. We have a few classes together and he was bringing me my math book. Andrew, this is my mother, Margret.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Andrew steps
closer to the entryway to shake her hand. She surprises me when she has one to spare that’s not gripping a bottle of alcohol.

“It’s lovely to meet you.”
Is she flirting? Oh. My. God. She’s flirting.
“Leaving so soon?” Her voice strives to reach that singsong quality that girls use when talking to guys they’re crushing on, only hers is totally not working for her. The R’s, and S’s are unrecognizable, turning the sentence into one long blur.

Andrew looks from
her to me, then back to her before answering. “Yeah, I have to get back home for dinner.”

My face heats and is no doubt blazing red with embarrassment. The only people
who have ever met my mom while she was plastered are Marisol and Alex, and they were our best friends for years, not someone I’ve only started speaking to.

He turns back to me. I expect to see pity or remorse, but see neither. My inside voice is setting off warning bells, asking if his lack of concern is a good thing, or a bad thing. Pity is something I can do without, that’s for sure; however, I couldn’t help but wonder how someone wouldn’t feel sorry for you after meeting a mother like mine.

“Thanks for the book
. I’ll see you in the morning, right?” I remind him of his offer to give me a ride to school, while also trying to get him to leave.

“Yes, you will
. See you tomorrow.” He takes a few steps before turning back with a little wave. “Oh, and have fun studying with Alex tonight.”

All of my muscles freeze
, and I stop breathing… suffocating me instantly. My mom tenses beside me, electrifying the air around us. I watch as Andrew gets into his car and pulls away, oblivious to the hell he has sentenced me to.

As soon as his car is out of sight, I turn, ready for the onslaught.
Her face is a mask of horror, pure hatred and rage, informing me of what I’d feared. One, she definitely holds no love for me. Two, she is absolutely, positively insane, and three… that I should not, in any way, have seen Alex again.

“I told you to stay away from him.” She
screams. She stalks me, backing me into the house before slamming the door closed behind us, and cornering me against the foyer.

“I know, but…” I begin to say,
but those three words are all I get out before she hits me. She half slaps, half punches me, using her palm with her fingers curled down, almost as if she’s serving a volleyball. My ear takes the impact and rings like the Liberty Bell.