After the Evil – A Jake Roberts Novel (Book 1) (25 page)

Lori had all of the ingredients. She even
rationalized Emily’s choice, years earlier, didn’t seem as
misguided as she had once thought. She also considered the fact
that nobody would care if she died. Lori was, after all, the last
of her family line, there was no one left to grieve for her. What
was the point of going on? Her job had lost its luster years ago.
There were just so many times she could go to Paris, Rome––Omaha.
The hotels sucked. All of the restaurant food tasted the same, and
most were borderline outbreaks of salmonella. The crewmembers
gossiped at the speed light. The worst part, there was nobody left
to fall in love with. Jake was never coming back. She was certain
of that. The others were never right for her. Even if Jake and she
had made a go of it, how could her life ever return to normal?
Sooner, or later, her secret would surface, and how would that be?
Then, there were the voices. They would never let go of her.

Decision time approached, and Lori was stuck at step
two. She looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. She watched as
the second hand circled for a complete minute while counting each
second along the way. Maybe she should go to see Emily one last
time. With the right words, Emily might agree Jake was right for
her. If not, Emily might have some encouraging words to say about
the philosophy of suicide.

For some inexplicable reason it was so much easier
to end someone else’s life than your own. Lori pushed the bottle of
pills away and got up from the kitchen table. She wiped down the
counter top and placed the dishes inside the dishwasher. All the
while, she thought about Jake. A quick glance at the clock again
and she decided to get some sleep. If in the morning she still
wanted to end her life, she would. She turned out the kitchen light
and walked through the dark to the solitude of her bedroom.

* * *

After toweling off the steam from the shower on the
mirror, I ask the ragged face. The image says the same words back
to me in reverse, at exactly the same time. A shower feels good,
like starting over, a new beginning. The dirt of life that you
accumulate and drag around on you everyday, is washed down the
drain. The problem is, the dirt always comes back tomorrow. I’m
feeling much better than even ten minutes ago. The only remnant
left of my social outing with Chipper is my churning stomach. Now
what? Do I go out into the bedroom naked, climb into bed and press
up against Mika as if all were fine with the world? Do I retreat
and wait for my tired and worn body to be discovered beneath the
covers on the couch? I retreat. As I make my way out of the steamy
bathroom, I head for the bedroom door in the dark. I know the way.
As my hand drags the door closed, I hear her voice.

“Jake?”

Her head rises above the pillow and I see her
squinting into the darkness. Her hand tosses back the covers and
exposes her naked body in the moonlight.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I didn’t want to wake you, sorry. You need to get
some sleep. I’ll take the couch. We’ll talk in the morning.”

Just as the door is about to close, I hear her.

“FREEZE, F-B-I.”

Her volume is startling. I don’t know which way to
go, in or out. I leave it up to her. In a pouting voice, she gives
me the answer I had hoped for.

“Don’t go, stay, I want you to hold me.”

We’d been there before. We didn’t make it then, why
would we make it now? Why be crushed all over again? I didn’t think
my heart could take another solid hit right now.

“Are you sure?”

I have to give her every opportunity to avoid the
heartbreak and pain. I won’t push, insist, or take advantage of
her.

“I’m sure.”

She holds her arms out for me. I want to lie next to
her and be held. I want everything to be right in the world. I
don’t want to make any more mistakes.

How could Mika be a mistake?

* * *

I love to read. In particular I am intimately
familiar with all of the great philosophers from the ancients and
the Greeks, to the Romans, on through the Renaissance, to modern. I
have a good deal of accumulated philosophies of my own gathered
from my years on the streets. It doesn’t matter. With Mika’s head
lying on my chest, I listen while she talks about her life, and the
questions we all carry around silently in our heads.

“I’ve decided to leave the FBI.”

That one I didn’t expect. I’m not sure I heard her
right. Maybe it was the after effects of my foray into Chipper’s
hazy world.

“Say that again.”

“I said I’m leaving the FBI, quitting,
resigning.”

She repositions herself on the pillows against the
headboard. She says it so casually it’s obvious she has already
weighed the pros and cons. Tough call, I don’t know if I should
encourage, or discourage, her. It is coming on the heels of
yesterday. I had the same debate inside my head about my job after
the shooting, still do. One minute my job is devastating, and the
next it’s everything I am. We listen as a night shower begins to
pelt against the windows. The storm intensifies and cleans the
dirty world outside. We watch as lightning flashes illuminate the
bedroom. Simple rules governed our lives inside. The hard lessons
of life were outside that window, just like the storm.

A friend of mine used to watch out for me a long
time ago. He saw to it I had a smile on my face when things weren’t
going my way. It devastated me when he was killed in a small plane
crash. Although I don’t believe in much anymore, the usual things
like religion, politics, and people, I do believe he’s still
watching over me. I can’t explain feeling his presence, like an
angel. I decide to try to be an angel for Mika.

“What are you going to do instead?”

“Private practice I think, security––a private eye.
That way I can control my life.”

That same thought has banged through my head on more
than one occasion. The private sector is always looking for
talented, well-trained professionals to protect them. The pay is
good and the hours aren’t any worse. One has to play the game,
maybe kiss some behind, but that’s normal.

“I’m in.”

I tell her with confidence. Mika rises quickly off
the pillows.

“Do you mean that?”

“Yeah absolutely, I need a change.”

Revelations, they come in many different shapes and
sizes even aloud sometimes. I look at Lori. We don’t speak, but the
thoughts gush between us as if they were being shot out of a fire
hose. It’s funny how the world looks the same from her small dark
eyes and my big hazel eyes. Outside, the thunder pounds against the
pavement like one massive Huey helicopter, or a parade of Harley's.
I can’t help but wonder if it is a sign from my angel waving us
off. Mika leans on my shoulder.

“I can’t stop thinking about it, him.”

“Gates?”

“Yeah, I know he deserved to die. I just didn’t want
to be the executioner. I guess you felt the same about the
girl.”

The words jam up inside my head.

“Still do. You think that’s why we want
out...because it would be easier to hide.”

Be a good angel for her, Jake.

“Maybe.”

She grasps my hand and holds it against her breast.
No longer mesmerized by the rain pelting the window, I look at her.
I feel the warmth of her body against mine as we embrace. Our lips
press together just like it used to be. There is no tomorrow, there
is just the two of us floating in our own private universe.

“Hi, I’m Benjamin, and I’ll be working the lead
position. This is Kara, Bobby and back there sitting quietly by
herself is poor Megan.”

They all giggled while Benjamin continued with his
briefing.

“Meg’s a little down right now. Apparently, her
plans to become the next Mrs. Captain Nick Parker have washed
out.”

“Captain ‘Slick’ in the cockpit broke her heart last
night, but that’s nothing new with him. That’s why he chases the
new ones,” Kara said

Lori looked down the cabin aisle and saw a
distraught face that didn’t just tell of a broken heart, or another
sad rejection. To Lori, Megan’s face expressed severe inner pain.
She made a mental note to ask her about it later.

“That’s too bad.”

After the introductions, the flight attendants
scurried about the cabin preparing the aircraft for boarding.
Following the deadly terrorist attacks there were many more things
to check before departure. The crews were more cognizant of the
consequences associated with air travel. They exchanged small talk
while they went about their duties such as who was sleeping with
whom, who got fired recently, and there were thousands of weird
passenger stories. While she completed her duties, Lori couldn’t
help but be drawn to Megan. The girl was young, almost too young
Lori thought. She looked as if she hadn’t graduated from high
school yet. She also looked dazed, lost and afraid. With ease, Lori
made her way to the back of the cabin until she was within a few
feet of Megan, who didn’t seem to notice her right away.

“Hi, Megan,” Lori said.

She held out her hand, but all she got was a brief
nod back.

“I’m Lori. Is this your regular line?”

Lori watched closely to see if she was getting
through.

“I picked up this trip late last night,” Lori
said.

Lori’s smile, the same that touched most everyone,
finally affected Megan who acknowledged her. Megan, she guessed,
was about the age Emily would be if she were still alive.

“I’m sorry, I’m a little distracted right now. I
have a lot on my mind.”

She glanced at Lori.

“Yes, this is my line, has been all month.”

Lori grasped Megan’s shoulder.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Megan was taken by surprise. She backed away and
turned toward the galley where she started to fidget with the
drawers and doors. She didn’t know what to say. Lori did her best
to calm her.

“Megan I know it’s none of my business, but you look
a little spooked to me. As a crewmember, I need to know if there’s
a problem before we get going here.”

Not wanting her abilities as a flight attendant
questioned, Megan took a firm stand.

“I’m fine thank you, there’s no reason for you, or
anyone else to be concerned about me.”

“Really, Meg, I was just offering a shoulder if you
needed one. I’ve been doing this a long time. I know a little about
some things.”

A reassuring nod followed. Megan eased off.

“Thanks, I think I could use a shoulder right about
now actually.”

“Listen, I’ll trade places with Bobby, and work back
here if it’s all right with you. I don’t think he’ll mind.”

Lori flashed another irresistible smile.

“I don’t want to be a bother.”

Lori squeezed Megan’s arm lightly.

“Not a problem, I’ll get it done and be back in a
few minutes.”

She turned and walked up the long center aisle to
relay the change in staffing assignment. There was no objection as
Bobby and Benjamin were roommates. Passengers followed behind Lori
as she made her way back to the aft cabin. They started filing into
the various rows of assigned seats.

“It’s just you and me, babe.”

Feeling a little more at ease, Megan started to open
up and confide in Lori.

“I’m sorry, I––”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll get to it later when
everyone settles down.”

Lori smiled causing Megan to finally smile back.
They went about their respective duties. Each time Lori saw the
chance, she tried to establish a stronger bond with her.

* * *

“We’ve uncovered some interesting information.”

There is renewed excitement in Harmon’s voice. He
definitely isn’t the same Harmon. Now he is Harmon Eldrige
Blackwell––the Chief.”

He is direct, unyielding, and confident. It’s
apparent to even the least observant, that every detective in the
room has a newfound respect for him. I know I do.

“Roberts, nice to see you could make it in
today.”

Well, I thought I’d like the new Harmon. The jury is
apparently still out.

“Good news Detective, the Grand Jury and Internal
Affairs, cleared you on the girl shoot. I believe the official term
used is ‘justified’. Of course, some of us knew it all along, but
you apparently had your doubts.”

His words take a mountain of grief off my back. I
wonder if anyone sees me breathe a sigh of relief. I glance at Mika
who is standing by my side. She hasn’t said a word about leaving
the FBI to anyone yet, but I feel her squeeze my forearm. Harmon
shifts his attention to her.

“Agent Scott, I believe you asked about residents in
our fair city who own late model, foreign automobiles?”

“Yes I did, Chief.”

She is not as aggressive as she usually is and waits
for Harmon to divulge what he has.

“We are all aware Gates was driving a late model
silver Lexus when he was apprehended. What we didn’t know, until
late yesterday, was he leased the car the day before the murder. A
receipt for the CD, also for the day before, was in the center
armrest.”

Harmon waits for the exchange of looks to subside
before continuing. Mika gives a quick look back in my direction and
becomes more animated.

“Which would seem to indicate that he is a copycat
killer, and not the original,” Mika says.

Harmon snidely replies, “You’re the expert, F-B-I
Agent Scott.”

* * *

“Cabin service is complete and they’re all snoozing.
It’s as good a time as any Megan to have our conversation.”

To get her to open up and reveal what was
distressing her, Lori had spent the better part of the flight
getting Megan to feel more at ease with her. Although hesitant,
Megan was ready to talk about it, and there wasn’t going to be a
better place then at thirty-five thousand feet over the eastern
United States in the back of a Boeing 737. Well, home, or in a
lounge, would have been better, but the aircraft was going to have
to do. Both flight attendants sat down on the aft jump seats. Lori
held on to a plastic bottle of Evian, while Megan sipped a
Coke.