Authors: Lisa de Jong
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College
Lisa De Jong
Copyright © 2013 by Lisa De Jong
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the above author of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Edited by Madison Seidler
Cover by Mae I Design
50% of the proceeds from this book will go to The American Cancer Society
and 50% will go to RAINN.
The Day Kate Left For College – September 2012
like mad since I left for school. Actually, who the fuck am I kidding? I always miss Kate. Since the day I first saw her on the tire swing, there hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t thought about her. There hasn’t been one day I didn’t hope I’d see her or hear her voice. Every minute I’m not with her, I think about her. People walk in and out of our lives all the time, but there are very few who we hold onto long after they’re gone. They’re the ones who impact our lives and help determine who we become. Kate’s that and more for me.
The hardest fucking part is I don’t know if she’ll ever love me the way I do her. It’s not going to change the way I feel about her, though. She’s owned my heart for a long time, and even if our time never comes, her mark is forever.
Turning around, I let the hot water hit my face one more time before shutting off the shower. I miss the friendship Kate and I had, but I can’t wait forever. I only have one life, and I need to start living it in a way that won’t leave me full of regret years from now. I can’t keep looking back at missed opportunities.
There was a girl I met the other day while standing in line at the campus coffee shop. She noticed my White Sox t-shirt and started up a conversation about baseball. As she went on and on, I wondered how a guy could go wrong with a girl who knows the name of every single baseman? Worst-case scenario we talk about sports all night, I take her back home, and never call again. It would be a shitty thing to do, but I’m not one to play pretend.
I’m resigned to the fact that Kate may never be mine, but that’s also admitting to myself that I’ll never be with the one girl who truly matters. Coffee shop girl might help me forget for a short time, but every minute I’m with her, I’ll be comparing her to Kate. The way she looks, the way she smells, the way she talks or bites her lip … no matter how she does it, Kate does it better.
I dated a couple of girls last year, but no one held my interest beyond a few weeks. It’s hard to be happy with a girl when you’re constantly comparing her to someone else. It’s not fair to her, and it’s not healthy for me. Maybe it will be different someday… maybe.
I pull on a pair of shorts and comb my fingers through my damp hair. I should probably get a haircut, but I haven’t had time, and I really don’t care.
“Beau!” I hear Rachel yell from down the hall. “You might want to hurry.”
“Why?” I shout back, opening the door a crack.
As soon as she comes into view, I see the smile highlighting her face. She’s gorgeous, but she’s also my roommate, Cory’s, girl. And even if she wasn’t, she’s not Kate.
“It’s Kate,” Rachel says, startling me.
“What about her?” I ask, suddenly feeling frantic as I push the door open and walk toward her. Just hearing Kate’s name gets my adrenaline pumping.
“She’s here … I mean, she was here.”
“When?” I ask, standing less than a foot in front of her. I watch the smile fall from her face—she knows I’m more than serious.
“Just a minute ago. I bet if you run, you can catch her.”
Without replying, I run out the door of our apartment and down the hall. I don’t care that my skin is still wet—soaking through my shorts—or that I have water running off my hair. Kate wouldn’t come here if she didn’t have a good reason. Everything that girl does is with purpose, even if I can’t always figure it out.
I haven’t seen her since the day she told me her secret. To hear what happened to her the one night I wasn’t there to protect her all but killed me. When you love someone, you want to be there. If I had been, it wouldn’t have happened.
I take responsibility for that.
As soon as I open the door to walk outside, I see her with her back to me. Her shoulders are slumped slightly forward, and she isn’t walking very fast. It’s hard to keep a clear mind as I watch her. If someone had told me when I woke up this morning that Kate Alexander was coming here, I wouldn’t have believed them.
As she steps onto the sidewalk, I can’t wait any longer, so I start running toward her.
“Kate! Wait!” I yell, stopping her in place.
She doesn’t turn around, and it scares the living shit out of me.
Why would she come here and leave before even speaking to me? When I finally catch up to her, I want to touch her to make sure this isn’t all a dream, but something inside of me holds me back.
“Look at me,” I whisper, stepping so close I can feel the heat coming off her back.
“I can’t. I need to go,” she says. Her voice is weak, and I can tell she’s close to tears. I hate when she gets like this. I’ve seen her this way far too often over the last couple years, and there’s nothing I won’t do to never have to see her like this again.
I wrap my arm around her and press my hand to her stomach in an attempt to comfort her
and maybe keep her from running away.
“Why did you come if you aren’t going to stay?” I ask, my lips just a few inches from her ear.
“Beau, please,” she cries, leaning her head back against my shoulder.
“Talk to me,” I demand, pulling her even closer.
Silence radiates between us for too long before she starts to speak again. “I signed up for some classes.”
“Why are you crying?” I ask, walking around her to get a look into her beautiful green eyes. Water is rolling down my forehead and into my eyes, but it doesn’t matter right now.
Her mouth opens and closes a few times before I hear anything. “I came for you.”
It’s something I’ve been waiting to hear for a very long time. Something I wanted to hear before I probably even knew I wanted to hear it.
“Then why didn’t you stay?”
Tears roll down her face, and I watch as she wipes them away with the back of her hand. I want to pull her into my arms, but first I need to know what’s going on in that head of hers. “When your girlfriend answered the door, I realized I was too late. I didn’t need to hear you say it.”
Fuck. Rachel. She’s so off about that. But I guess I’d probably think the same thing if some guy answered Kate’s door.
I place my finger under her chin to draw her attention to me. “Open your eyes.”