Against the Wall (14 page)

Chase pounds his hand down on the table. “Well, I think it is.” People stop and stare at us. He glares at me. I catch a glimpse of Summer in the corner of my eye. She's yanking out my hair with her eyes, and I raise my hands, as if to say, I don't know what his problem is.

“
Chase, stop acting like an ass,” Mel tells him. “Summer’s giving you the evil eye, so run along.”

She's giving
me
the stink eye, not him.

He slides his chair out and leaves.

“
Dude, he is so stupid,” I say. I can’t believe I was in love with such an idiot. Wait. I can’t believe I
am
in love with that idiot. Am I still in love with him? No, I don’t think so. Or maybe. I don’t know. Or do I? Oh crap, I’m so confused.

My unsorted feelings for Chase are diminishing. I can see it, feel it. But something still hits me when I see him or hear his voice. I need it to go away. Quickly. So I can move on with my non-relationship with Matty.

“
Thanks for not saying anything, Matty.” How he keeps his composure around Chase is beyond me.

“
I told you, he doesn’t bother me. But, if he raises his voice to you again, I don’t care if we’re at work. I
will
say something. I won’t allow him to treat you badly.” Matty reaches over and puts his hand on mine. Without thinking, I yank my hand away. The look on his face kills me. Why did I do that? I’m so stupid.

Jacob, another history teacher, joins us, turning a chair backward and sits down with his hands resting on the back of the seat.

“
Hey, what’s up?” he says, looking to each of us. I want to thank him for the distraction. Maybe Matty will forget I just snubbed him, unintentionally.

“
Hi,” Mel says. “What are you up to?”

Matty and I nod at him.

“
I just wanted to see what you’re up to during break, Shelly,” he says, and when I hear my name, my head pops up from my burrito to look at him. “I thought maybe we could get together.”

“
Really?” I say. Am I being Punk’d? First Chase. Now this. Matty is going to stop talking to me.

“
Yeah, really,” he says, smiling at me like we’re the only two people at the table.

Matty sits forward at the table and interrupts Jacob’s googly eyes. “I think it’s a fantastic idea,” he announces. What in the world. “Mel and I have been telling her for so long to get out and have a good time since … well, you know. Go for it, Shel.”

If looks could kill, Matty would drop dead right now. What’s he thinking? He can’t be thinking. No man in his right mind would send the girl he is not-seeing on a date with another man. But he’s asking for it.

“
Sure, Jacob, why not? Call me,” I respond through gritted teeth. I take his cell from his hands and program my number in it.

“
Great,” he says, rising to his feet. “I’ll call you later.”

The bell rings and we make our way out of the lounge. Mel seems as stunned as I do, speechless for the first time, and heading to the ladies room. Matty and I walk to our rooms. I wonder who will say something first. He’s not so here I go.

“
What were you thinking?” I ask.

His silence is anything but golden.

“
Matty, come on,” I urge him. “You just set me up on a date I don’t want to go on. I don’t want to see anyone else.”

“
Yes, you do,” he says. “You’re going to question what we have until you know you’re not missing anything and until you get over Chase. So try it. I’m not worried. Go for it.”

“
Fine, I’ll go, and when I’m home early from wherever Jacob takes me, you better be ready to let me prove to you how much I really don’t need to date anyone else,” I sneer, poking him in the chest.

“
Wow, sounds good. Maybe you should go on a lot of dates with other men more often.” He leans over and whispers in my ear, “How exactly are you going to prove it to me?”

I nudge him back with my shoulder and laugh.

Matty is about to leave me at my door, but I stop him.

“
About earlier,” I mutter. “I’m sorry I pulled my hand away from you. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

He smiles at me. “Hey, no worries. It’s too soon. See ya later, Shelly.”

And with that, he walks down the hall and I don’t take my eyes off him until he disappears into his room. He doesn’t turn back to look at me, even though I was hoping he would.

“
Hey, about what happened at lunch today,” I start off with Matty as we get dinner ready at my place. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He seems a little quiet tonight.

“
I already told you, don’t worry about it,” he says. “I know it was too much of a public display of affection for you at work. Since we’re not technically a couple.”

“
I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just … I don’t know. I’m not ready yet.” Sounds like my theme song. I'm sick of hearing myself say those words, I can't even fathom how Matty feels.

“
Hellooo,” he lingers on the word. “I’m really not bothered by it so relax.” He stops stirring the spaghetti and kisses my forehead. I guess he really is fine.

“
Okay then. What should we do tonight? It’s Friday. We’re off for two weeks.” I put the plates and salad on the counter.

“
I thought we could just hang out. I’m a little tired. We have the rest of break to do things.” Matty serves some pasta on each plate. I take them over to the table.

“
Really? I was just thinking, we always stay home and chill. And we’re really good at it. We should try going out and see if we enjoy each other just as much. What do you think?” Matty serves the salad, and brings the bowls over too. I place a piece of garlic bread on each of our plates and we sit down to eat.

“
Going out is the easy part. How hard is it to go to the movies or see a band with someone? That doesn’t require any talking or thinking. Sitting at home is the hard part. Having conversation without any other kind of entertainment is what a lot of couples fail at,” he explains to me. Makes sense.

“
Hmm.” I consider this, looking at my ceiling fan spinning over us. “I think we got it down. We’re like a professional frickin’ couple in the communication department. We can talk all day and never run out of things to say. We talk while we make dinner.” I gesture to our table of food. “And while we eat.” I take a bite of my bread. “And while we kiss.” I lean over and pucker up my lips to him, crumbs coming out of my mouth. He bends forward anyway and plants a smooch on my lips. “Dang, we’re good.”

“
Told ya.” He flashes his pearly whites, and we start eating dinner.

“
So I guess tonight, we’ll just have to go to bed early since we’re both so tired and in dire need of relaxation.” I flutter my brows.

“
You look dangerous. I’m not sure I want to get in bed with you. A guy can say
no
only so many times before his woman thinks he’s a tease.” He tugs me toward him and runs his fingers along the curves of my round face, brushing my bangs away from my eyes.

I tap my pointer finger on his chest, and say, “Don’t fool yourself, Matty. I thought you were a tease a long time ago.”

We both laugh and wrap each other up in an embrace so tender I could melt. With my face pressed against his chest, my breasts planted to his hard belly, I circle my arms around his torso and run my hands up his back until they settle on his firm shoulders. His scent tickles my senses and I let out a sigh, relaxing into his hold. Melting is such an understatement.

Matty brushes his lips against my cheek softly. He then mutters in my ear, “You got me. Let’s just clean this up and we can lie down and watch TV in bed.” I take a peek up at him, meeting his gaze. “And I mean watch it. Really,” he says, emphatically.

Lying in bed with Matty never gets old. You would think the newness and excitement would have worn off by now, but falling asleep with his strong arms around me is still as thrilling now as it was our first night together four months ago.

“
I love this,” I tell him, hugging his waist and pulling him closer to me.

“
Not enough,” he replies, kissing and stroking my hair.

“
Not enough, what?” I say, pressing my lips to his shoulder.

“
It’s not enough to love this.” He squeezes me. “I need you to love me.”

I kiss his chest. “I want to tell you I love you, but I just want to be sure. No doubts. I just need more time. Plus, you have me going on dates. Saying it would just seem so insincere. You deserve to have it all.”

“
I know. So let’s just watch the movie.” He gestures to the TV on the wall in my bedroom.

“
Alright,” I turn around and find my snuggly place in his arms. “Fine then.” I pout, jokingly. “But I don’t think he just wants to rest.” I say of Matty’s friend throbbing against my ass.

“
He never wants to rest when you’re in the room,” he snickers.

“
It’s because he’s happy I’m here, and wants to see me.” I turn around and cup his length in my palm. Matty gasps. “I can’t let him down.”

He tenses up. “You keep doing that, and he’ll go down sooner than you think.”

I run my hand up and down, over his boxers. “Well maybe that’s what he wants. Just a little acknowledgment so he knows I care and then he can relax.”

“
You’re killing me, Shel,” he says, anxiously, with shoulders tense and his hand frozen in my hair.

Sitting up on my knees, I push Matty flat on his back. “I think I’ve heard that before,” I say, smirking at him. I touch my lips to the center of his chest and begin placing gentle kisses all the way down to his waistband. I slide my tongue along the edges of the material and nip at the sides of his V. I surprise myself when I tell him, “Lift your ass up.” He follows my orders, and I quickly yank down his undies before he can change his mind.

Matty puts his hands down to cover himself. Too cute, and I have to giggle. “What are you doing?” he asks.

I pull off my shirt and unclasp my bra. “I wanna be naked with you.” I lie down beside him, and bring my mouth to his. I kiss him, passionately and deeply. Our tongues dance together as I slide my hand down to take hold of Matty’s erection. He gasps again, but doesn’t stop me. I smile at this thought. He allows me to explore him for the first time since we’ve been non-dating. I start with slow strokes, letting my senses take in the smooth feeling in my hand. How it can be so soft and hard at the same time is amazing.

I find myself breathing harder as our kiss becomes more intense. Matty has one hand in my hair and his other brushes up and down my back. The feel of his warm touch makes me squirm with pleasure, and I can’t help but tighten my grasp on him. I quicken my pace, and he squeezes my back with a moan. Tearing away my mouth from his, I trail kisses along his neck and nip at his shoulder, all the while he finishes with a shudder or two. And a groan, or two. Or three or four.

I kiss him again on the lips and he presses my chest against his in a tight embrace, cupping my back with one strong hand and my behind with the other.

A beat later, Matty says into my hair, “Oops.”

“
What do you mean, oops? I’m proud I can do that to you. Or for you.” I look in his eyes, smiling, and wiping my hand on my sheet, and dragging it over to him so he can clean up too. I almost stand up and take a bow, but I decide not to be so silly.

“
Was it ever in question?” he asks, raising a brow at me.

“
You never know,” I sing.

“
Well then, I guess I better see if I do it for you?” I smile at him wondering how exactly to interpret his response. He flips me over and onto my back in one quick motion before I have the chance to protest.

“
Excuse me?” I inquire.

“
Just go with it, Shel.” His smile disappears into my neck. Oh holy goodness. He doesn’t need to do anything else. My neck is so sensitive, I could go any second. He knows just the right combination of lips and tongue to make my toes curl. He’s killing me with just his kisses. What’s it going to be like when I fall in love with him and we finally take the next step? Oh, wow.