Agatha Raisin Companion (12 page)
Read Agatha Raisin Companion Online
Authors: M.C. Beaton
Mrs Darry
Nosy, gossiping busybody from London who moves into the village in
Wellspring of Death.
She has ‘a face like a startled ferret’, and Agatha dislikes her
intensely. Constantly sticking her nose into other people’s business, she delights in spreading gossip about Agatha around the village, but ends up a victim of one of the local murderers.
‘Mrs Bloxby is such a sensible, calming sort of lady,’ comments Phil in
There Goes the Bride.
In fact, everybody should have a Mrs Bloxby in their life.
While Agatha seems to attract chaos and turbulence, her placid friend is an oasis of calm and always has exactly the right words for each occasion. Never flustered, or too busy to help, she
dispenses wisdom to all the troubled souls of the parish, along with endless cups of tea and home-made teacakes. In fact, she is considerably better at tending to the flock than her bad-tempered
husband, Alf
Here are just a few of the words of wisdom from the great lady:
On their first meeting: ‘You struck me as a lady who had never known any real love or affection. You seem to carry a weight of loneliness about with you.’
Quiche of Death.
‘No wonder the churches are empty. I find that people who go to clairvoyants and fortune-tellers lack spirituality.’
Fairies of
Fryfam.
‘I have always wondered why it is when someone says something cruel or offensive, they immediately cover it up by saying “It was only a joke. Can’t you
take a joke?” ’ To Roy after he insulted Agatha and then backtracked in
Walkers of Dembley.
After Agatha sleeps with Guy Freemont on their second date Agatha asks her friend, ‘Does that shock you?’
‘No dear, but it probably shocks you. Women of our generation never got used to casual sex,’ replies Mrs Bloxby.
Wellspring of Death.
‘I have observed goodness in people as well as evil. There is a bit of the divine spirit in all of us.’
Wellspring of Death.
Men do not like needy women. Believe me, they can smell needy across two continents.’
Day the Floods Came.
‘Remember that the person you love when you are eighteen is not the person you would love when you are, say, twenty-five.’ Mrs
B’s advice to Toni in
Spoonful of Poison.
‘Beauty is a dangerous thing. It can slow character formation because people are always willing to credit the beautiful with character attributes they do not
have.’
Curious Curate.
‘When confronted with someone who appears to be in a perpetual state of outrage, it is tempting for other people to wind them up. Besides, I have always found the
most vociferous of guardians of morality on matters of sex are those who aren’t getting any. Some tea?’ To nosy-parker Mrs Anstruther-Jones in
Day the Floods Came.
On James:
‘Mrs Bloxby sipped her drink and looked at the flames in the hearth. She knew that Agatha had two obsessions. One was James Lacey and the other was danger. She
wondered how long Agatha would last before she started stirring things up again.’
Love, Lies and Liquor.
‘Do you think you’re doing the right thing? I mean, men do not like to be pursued.’ As Agatha leaves for Cyprus in
Terrible
Tourist.
‘I have doubts about James Lacey He always struck me as being a rather cold, self-contained man.’
Terrible Tourist.
‘He’s nice enough, I grant you, but when it comes to women he’s cold and selfish.’
Fairies of Fryfam.
‘You’re letting someone live rent-free in your head.’
Fairies of Fryfam.
‘She did not realize that the root of the problem was that she was obsessive when it came to men. Agatha was addicted to falling in love. While she was obsessive about
some man, she could dream. But now, with no current obsession, when she lay down in bed at night, there seemed to be a black hole left in her head, around the edge of which swirled nagging, petty
little worries.’
Perfect Paragon.
Agatha is never happy unless she has a man to be miserable about. Her passion borders on obsession, and the very absence of a romantic target makes her more depressed than when she is
lovelorn.
Although James Lacey is the object of her most enduring fixation, there have been many passing fancies to temporarily distract her from the main prize.
James Lacey
James is the true love of her life. Agatha imagined she would
never experience grand passion until the tall, dark, handsome stranger arrived in
Carsely and bought the house next door to her. ‘Until she had set eyes on James Lacey, she would have sworn that all her hormones had laid down and died. She felt excited, like a schoolgirl
on her first date.’
Handsome enough to ‘strike any middle-aged woman all of a heap’, the ex-army-officer-turned-author is over six feet tall, with blue eyes and black hair, fashionably cut, and only
slightly tinged with grey.
Their initial meetings, when Agatha is about to crack the case of the poisoned quiche, lead him to believe that she is completely mad. When she meets his attractive sister, Agatha initially
assumes that they are an item.
As book two,
Vicious Vet,
opens, Agatha is returning from the Bahamas with a ‘tan outside and a blush of shame inside’. She had spent a fortune on flattering clothes, slimmed
down for a bikini, and travelled halfway across the world to find that he was nowhere to be seen. Eventually, she phones Mrs Bloxby to be told that he changed his mind at the last minute and went
to stay with a friend in Egypt – after finding out that Agatha was planning a trip to Nassau.
Studiously avoiding him to start with, she feels that James becomes more interested after she has a flirtation with the local vet, who is then murdered.
In
Potted Gardener,
it’s Agatha’s turn to be jealous
when James is revealed to have had an affair with Mary Fortune, the beautiful divorcée
who is murdered after the village horticultural show. As the pair investigate the murder of a rambler in
Walkers of Dembley,
Agatha suggests they pose as man and wife and is thrilled that
‘for a brief period she was to be Mrs Lacey, albeit in name only. But who knew what delights that could lead to!’ Indeed, while their brief period of cohabiting is rocky, James finally
warms to her and the pair make passionate love. The next day, he pops the question for real and an ecstatic Agatha accepts.
Something of a cold fish, James never talks about his past or his feelings. Even in the run-up to their wedding, Agatha worries that she knows little about him and asks him, ‘Do you love
me, James?’ His typically insensitive reply is, ‘I’m marrying you, aren’t I?’ and he then tells his fiancée that she has been watching too much Oprah Winfrey.
‘I’m not a talking-about-feelings person, nor do I see the need for it.’
Murderous Marriage
sees Agatha’s dream of happiness dashed once more when her ex-husband, Jimmy Raisin, turns up at the wedding. A horrified James, furious that Agatha had told him
Jimmy was dead, says he will never forgive her. However, when Jimmy
is
killed, he does return to help her find the real murderer, thereby clearing their names.
An uneasy friendship does eventually end in marriage when Agatha returns from a long spell in Norfolk to a pining James, who proposes. The marriage is a disaster, with constant fights,
jealousy and criticism and, after developing a brain tumour, James flees to a monastery in France. Agatha pursues him there, only to be told he is taking holy orders and
selling his cottage. When she discovers he has changed his mind and left the monastery, she believes his new-found religion was merely a plot to get rid of her.
After a lengthy period of absence, James makes a surprise return and moves back into the cottage next to Agatha’s in
Love, Lies and Liquor.
A disastrous barbecue with his
incorrigibly rude friends helps Agatha feel that she is finally over him. James, however, is never keener than when he is being snubbed, so he wins her round with a promise of a mystery holiday.
When they end up in a grotty seaside town in the rain, and Agatha finds herself accused of murder, the relationship takes a turn for the worse. Once more, James leaves her in the lurch and drives
to France.