I was sure he was right, but my mind was elsewhere, trying to work out what to say next, how to keep well away from those particular cesspits. The one I was in was bad enough.
‘Hey, enough of that shit. I’m sorry, really sorry, for monstering on you just now. But when I got the news about you two at the camp . . .’ He laughed a little too loudly and took another mouthful of brew. ‘I guess it’s kinda worrying having a pistol to your head. But you should be thanking me for not letting you get handed over. Those guys in the camp? They got really pissed when they found out you weren’t no fucking terrorist.’ His jowls quivered. He was enjoying every minute of this. ‘Hey, can you believe that?’
I could, actually. If they had been able to stick me with the terrorist label, I’d have been halfway to Guantanamo Bay by now.
I wondered why he hadn’t said anything about the laptop bag. Or the papers and tape. He must be saving it up for later.
‘But, you know what, Nick? You did a helluva job saving your asses out there, considering the problems you had.’
This wasn’t the Bastard I knew. But then, this wasn’t Bastard – this was just a good old boy fronting a set of interrogation techniques, and me shutting up until I needed to speak.
He was deploying what the manual called ‘Pride and Ego Up’. He thought I’d be feeling devastated by the capture, and would respond to praise for a job well done. Any minute now he’d be telling me he understood my feelings, and we’d bond big-time over a few more cups of coffee.
But what he didn’t know was that my pride and ego had been well and truly hung out to dry more years ago than I cared to remember. He’d have to dig a whole lot deeper, if he wanted to find any traces of either.
I nodded to show how glad I was that he understood me. ‘We did all right.’ I got more brew down my neck. ‘Who was that at the house and cemetery?’
‘No idea.’ Bastard shook his head slowly, as if Red Eyes, Stubbly and the man mountain with the machete had all dropped out of a clear blue sky. ‘Whatever, those fucks sure messed up a good operation.’
He leaned across the table, nodding in agreement with himself as he pulled two cigars from his Gore-Tex jacket. ‘People think it’s a science, but they forget about the bit you can’t control, and that’s the target, right?’ He offered me one and I gave a polite shake of my head. But I poured myself some more coffee and got it down my neck, just in case he decided he’d gone far enough with this and it was time to wheel in Bad Cop again.
He lit up and inhaled appreciatively. He seemed to have kicked his old tobacco-chewing habit. Maybe this was his idea of a healthier option.
Was he waiting for me to start gobbing off, trying to fill the dead space? If so, I was going to disappoint him.
No way would I respond to any of this by opening up and saying stuff that could dig me and Charlie a deeper hole. In a strange way, knowing there was somebody else in the shit with me for a change made me feel more confident, and I knew Charlie would be thinking the same. He wasn’t going to let me down; I wasn’t going to let him down either.
‘You know what?’ Smoke poured from his mouth. ‘You turning up with Chuck like that? That was one big surprise. Yessir, he kept that set of cards pretty close to his chest. How’s it working with you guys – you planning on splitting the money?’
I nodded. ‘Down the middle.’
‘That’s one heap of change . . .’ He sucked on the end of his cigar, as if he suddenly couldn’t make up his mind whether to chew it or smoke it. ‘But I think you should’ve got more, Nick. Seems to me you did the lion’s share, getting you both out of the shit. Only fair, don’t you Brits say?’ He flicked away half an inch of ash. ‘I suppose it was Chuck’s idea to make this a two-hander?’
‘Had to be, didn’t it? Otherwise I wouldn’t have known about it.’
It didn’t sound like he knew anything about Charlie’s disco hands. This time a thread of spit hung between cigar and lip as he drew the Havana away from his mouth.
If you’re anywhere long enough, you tune into the environment. Every house feels strange the first time you go into it, but give it half an hour and you begin to feel at home.
That still wasn’t happening to me here, though; the only familiar elements in this room were the hiss of the gas heater and the smell of cigar smoke.
9
He studied my face, waiting for me to say more.
But I wasn’t going to fill any gaps, not while he was still trying to be my new best friend. Later, perhaps, when we got to the page in the manual that had pictures of crowbars and broken bones; that would be the time to gob off enough bullshit to try and keep him and his two Georgian mates off my back.
‘Did Chuck tell you what the job was about?’
I pushed the mug away from me and nodded. ‘Too many people messing about with pipeline security?’
‘Yessir, they sure are. These Georgians are one corrupt bunch of motherfuckers.’ He beamed over my shoulder. ‘But hey, so what? What’s new, fuckheads?’ He continued smiling and nodding at the boys in leather behind me. ‘Don’t worry about those fucks, Nick. Hari and Kunzru there, they don’t understand a word. They’re so shit stupid they can’t even tie their own shoelaces. Ain’t that right, motherfuckers?’
I heard murmurs behind me. This was clearly Bastard’s version of Partnership for Peace, and it was working just the way he liked it.
He leaned forward and took another puff. ‘Yeah, damn right.’ More smoke poured from his mouth. ‘You’re a pretty smart guy, Nick. I’m sure you wanna get this sorry business over with, and get home to your loved ones.’ He clenched the cigar between his teeth and treated me to his widest grin yet. ‘And I’m with you on that one, pal. This is my last job. I got sun and sand to retire to, rolling cigars on dusky senoritas’ thighs – you understand where I’m coming from?’
He waved the cigar expansively at me. ‘You know what, Nick? I should have been more careful when I went to meet with Chuck, then we might not have found ourselves in this . . . predicament.’ He paused, and gave me a conspiratorial look. ‘I bet the tapes were your idea, eh? Trust Chuck to bring along another guy just as smart. You guys are killing me.’ He stood and shook his head in frank admiration.
Behind me, Hari and Kunzru shifted impatiently. I heard the rasp of a match and caught a blast of sulphur at the back of my throat.
Bastard delved around in his Gore-Tex and pulled out my dark blue passport. It was so new, the embossed gold US eagle on the cover glinted in the light of the hurricane lamp. ‘Not been a citizen long, have you?’
‘No.’
‘What’re you involved in, stateside?’
‘I used to work for a marketing company. They got me citizenship. But I was made redundant a while back, so here I am with Charlie. Can I see him?’
‘All in good time, son. How did you get caught up in this line of work? You ex-military? You tapped into that broker guy, back in the UK?’
It was pointless lying. Of course I was, or Charlie wouldn’t have hired me. ‘I knew Charlie and the broker in the army. Charlie asked me if I wanted work. I did. A dollar doesn’t go far these days, especially when you haven’t been earning for a while.’
He nodded, not believing a word of it; on that score, at least, we were even. ‘I got a problem you can help me with, Nick.’ He picked a speck of tobacco leaf from his lip and studied the wet end of the cigar a little too carefully for more stray bits. ‘You can understand I’m kinda nervous; Chuck tells me he has two tapes of the hotel meets. You were about to say the same, no?’
He didn’t give me time to answer – not that I had any intention of doing so.
‘He also says you’ve got the very thing we’ – he gestured with his hand as if we were all in this together – ‘are in this fucked-up country for . . .’
I did my best to look completely blank.
‘Those papers . . .’
What was he saying? That he didn’t have them?
‘You see, those papers . . . well, the people I work for really need to get their heads around whatever they contain. And those tapes? I could find myself in a very embarrassing situation if they go public . . . it’d kinda fuck up my retirement plan.’
I could imagine that a video showing someone handing over the kit found in Baz’s boot, and then talking about the job, would fuck up any kind of plan, let alone a retirement one.
He ramped up the smile to full megawatt capacity. If he wasn’t careful, his face was going to explode. ‘I need you guys to help me out, right? You’re just too smart for me, what can I say?’
He leaned across the table and steepled his fingers, cigar and all. That smile must have been killing him. ‘Why don’t we clear this business up tonight, and we can all be on a flight out of this goddamned shithole of a country first thing?’
Hari and Kunzru shuffled their feet again and I prepared for the worst. It must have shown.
Bastard relaxed. ‘Don’t worry about those fucks just yet, son. I’m suggesting an easier way out. What about it, Nick? What do you say?’
What I said was nothing. He was doing a good job of hiding it, but he was hurting. Fuck him, he wasn’t getting any help from me.
‘Nick, we all need to get out of this place. But if you’re gonna fuck me up the ass, there’ll be nothing I can do to stop these two doing what they do best. I can’t let that stuff be out there – you understand that, don’t you?’
I did understand. I understood he was flapping. What had Charlie done with the papers and tape? The only place I could think of would have been checked by a finger and a tube of KY. ‘Let me talk it over with Charlie, see what he thinks.’
‘He’s already told me he’ll do whatever you say. I’m trying to be reasonable with you. Fuck him, man – you gotta start thinking of yourself. You’re the one on the TV; you’re the one ID’d at the cemetery. He’s laughing.’ His throat was tightening with frustration. ‘You’re a wanted man, Nick. Every man and his dog is out there looking for you. Him? He’s got no face. He can walk . . .’
His gaze became still more intense, but the cracks were beginning to show. It was a bit like watching a volcano starting to erupt. ‘I’m your way out. Where can you go, what can you do, unless I help you? You got no passport, you got no goddam cash. And I’m the only one standing between you and those Georgian fucks out there looking to nail your ass. I can make it happen, Nick – either way.’
He was scraping the barrel. He’d tried the pride and ego thing; tried to be really nice with it, but now he was jumping straight into Pointing Out the Futility, to make me see all hope was lost. But the only thing I could see was Bastard moving into territory he felt more comfortable with, the land of the out-and-out arsehole.
I still didn’t answer.
‘You’re fresh out of options, guy. I can get these two to drive you to Tbilisi right now and hand you over to the fucking animals who call themselves the police in this sorry town . . . I can make things happen, good or bad.’
He patted the passports in his jacket. ‘You’re in a deep hole, my friend, but I’m throwing you a rope. I can get you out and back stateside. I’m running out of ways here to explain I’m the only one who can do that for you.’
Now he was trying the incentive approach, and after that there was really only one place he could go. We were running out of road.
I leaned forward and down, and tied my bootlaces. I didn’t want to lose them in the course of what I was pretty sure was about to happen. Then I looked up and nodded. ‘I’ll need to talk to Charlie.’
He jumped up and slammed his fist on the table. The flask and cups went flying. Even the guys behind me took a step back. ‘You fuck! I want those papers and tapes! Give me! Your face is on every TV screen in Georgia . . . You’re in deep shit . . . The Georgian police are screaming for your blood . . . Unless you do exactly what I say, I’ll hand you right over to them . . . You tell me where they are now, or I’ll rip your fucking heart out – you hear me, boy?’
Eyes down, I kept my jaw tight, clenched my teeth, waited for the punches. This time it was Fear Up, and it was working well, because this was what he was born for.
‘Sit up, before I make you.’ He perched his knuckles on the table like an ape, nostrils flared and whistling as his overweight body sucked in oxygen to fuel the outburst.
His gut heaved as he leaned towards me. ‘Things will get very painful, very soon, man. You’re leaving me no choice.’
‘Let me talk to Charlie, square things away.’
His reply was half-shout, half-scream. ‘
You got absolutely nothing to talk about
.’ His words echoed round the walls and his fists came off the table. He pointed at me with a finger the size of a sausage. ‘You’re getting me fired up, man.’
He stormed round the table and I tensed every muscle, ready to take it. He swung an openhanded slap across the side of my head. The force of it took me straight to the ground.
My head spun. Stars burst in front of my eyes. Instinctively, I curled into a ball.
I sensed him bending towards me. The gust of cigar breath told me I wasn’t wrong. ‘Give up the tapes, give up the papers. I got contacts – high-up, government contacts – that can make good things happen for you. Think about it, asshole. Think about it while I go back to Vasiani and smooth out the mess you made with the army. And you know what? It’s those contacts who are saving your ass now so you got a chance to do the right thing.’
He passed behind me on his way to the door. I relaxed, and a second later his cigar breath exploded just inches from my face. ‘Me? I’m going back to the real world tomorrow, so I gotta clean things up here one way or another.’
He took a slow breath, calming himself down. ‘Tapes and papers, by the time I get back. Or these two fucks will rip them out of you before you spend the rest of your fucking miserable life in a Georgian shithole jail.’
He disappeared behind me. ‘Taking a fucking military vehicle?’ He gave a hollow laugh. ‘You call that smart?’
The door opened and closed and he was gone.
He must have signalled to Hari and Kunzru on his way out. They grabbed an arm each and lifted me to my feet. One picked up a hurricane lamp and I got shoved out through a second door into an overgrown walled area at the back of the building.