AJ's Salvation (28 page)

“So much,” he confessed. “I can’t believe you are here. I thought my exhausted mind conjured you up because there’s nothing more healing for me than you.”

She gently let her fingertips glide up and down his back, and she could feel his muscles react to every little touch. “You need help, Jam,” she mumbled and held her breath as she expected a huge fight to come.

“I know,” he surprised her by saying, and she had to pull back to look at him. He meant it. Oh, dear God, he meant it! She wanted to sob in relief and swallowed a few times before nodding. 

“Good. Jam, I’m so happy you see it that way.”

He gave her the smallest of smiles. “I’ll find someone once we have our son back. I’d love to move up there with you, and I want to have a life with you, Aly. I’ve never wanted anything more. Just be patient with me,” he pleaded, and she knew she could do that. After all, he had been patient with her for a decade and more.

“Jam, I have news,” Aly burst out. She had been ready to tell him right away, but somehow, other things had been more important.

“Good news, the way your eyes shine.” He laughed, and she nodded.

“I got the papers signed.” 

The silence that followed her statement wasn’t at all what Aly had expected. “Which papers?” he finally asked, and she grinned.

“The ones stating that Collene hands over all rights of Alessandro to you.”

The disbelief on his face made a giggle explode in her chest. Man, she was so happy they had managed that hard part already.

“You’re lying, right?” Jam asked, and she shook her head. 

“I mean it. All we need now is something to use against her. I need you to be patient, okay? Just a few more days. Jamison, can you promise me you’ll keep it together for that long?” She wouldn’t lie; last night had scared her like nothing else.

“I’m okay. I come here when I feel I can’t go on. Trust me. It always helps me. Nothing’s more liberating than ruining something else when you have been ruined.” He started to grin then, and she could almost hear his next comment before he made it. “That is, I think nothing’s more liberating than trashing a car and getting to take your woman on it afterward.” 

She laughed and then kissed his lips quickly. If she lingered too long, they would most likely go another round.

“Tell me about Lesso.” Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, and she realized she needed to get a grip. Aly lowered her eyes, letting her fingers go over his abs and then his chest. She had missed him so much.

“Did you think about what all this means to Alessandro? What it might do to him?” Jam asked, and she shrugged. Of course, she had thought about that, but then it was too late now to change anything.

“I know they’ve told him by now I’m not his mother. I don’t know if he understands it or not, but Jam, did he give you the impression he hated me? That he didn’t want to be back with me?” Jam couldn’t meet her eyes, and her heart stuttered in her chest. If her son would refuse her, this was all for nothing in the end. “Oh God, Jam, don’t start lying now. I’ve been lied to enough, and so have you. Let’s be adult about this,” she pleaded even though she didn’t want to be.

“He asks for you every single second we’re together. Every. Damn. Time. It kills me. But that’s not what worries me. What if he starts hating you, hating us both, down the road? You pretended to be his mother,” Jam remarked, and she gritted her teeth.

“I
am
his mother,” she protested, walking away from Jam. She just needed to be out of reach. 

“I know, but Aly, you need to consider the possibility.” God, his serious moods got him thinking too much. She hated it. With everything they had to think about right now, the future beyond adopting her boy wasn’t exactly on her radar.

“I’m not sure I can. How about we cross that bridge once we get there?” She wanted to know, and Jam reached out for her, but she dodged his hand.

“Don’t, Alessia Rhyme. We’re in this together, and while I might not exactly act like it, I know it. Don’t lock me out. Let me hold you. I know it’ll ease your pain,” he whispered, and she knew he was right. Just as he had told her last night, she too had the feeling they could conquer the world only when they were together.

With a nod, she went into his arms and then leaned into him. She didn’t mind that she’d have to shower in that shabby motel room of hers. She didn’t mind that they stood in a junkyard. And most of all, she didn’t mind that for a few seconds, her world again shrank down only to them, making her envision a time when things would be perfectly fine.

Four days. That was how long Aly was confined to a run-down motel room without any chance of getting out or helping Jam. He called her almost daily, gave her updates on her son, yet she couldn’t get any closer to them because they still had nothing to make the Karmisons sign. Collene wasn’t around, which was the best they could wish for, yet it had made Shannon realize they needed someone else to sign the papers, preferably Thea. 

It was crazy that they hadn’t seen Collene’s absence as a problem back then, yet there had been so much to think about; no wonder they had overlooked that ‘little problem.’

She was going crazy. TV did nothing to ease her mind and taking the car to aimlessly drive around just made it worse. She never had been without a purpose and while there was an endgame and a goal she was working toward, she still was the one who had to sit back instead of taking action.

Checking her watch, Aly realized Jam was just about to go see Alessandro. How she wished she could be there, too. She wanted to hug her boy and assure him that she was still his mother, no matter what people said. 

To her utter relief, Jam had collected himself again, taking charge of his own life instead of letting his doubts win. But that meant, too, that he was getting restless because he also had to sit back and wait, letting worries take over as he had nothing else to occupy his time with. With him being at the Karmison’s beck and call, he couldn’t really take on jobs, either, leaving his hands idle.

Aly had spoken to the two officers in town who were on their side, just to ease her mind, but since they also had to fly under the radar, they couldn’t offer anything new. One of them said they saw Alessandro around town and was happy he looked fine. The way she got it, he had lost weight, though, and it made Aly worry. She knew he wouldn’t eat if things bothered him, but the Karmisons didn’t know that.

She considered talking to Thea again, maybe make an offer, and tell the woman she could see Alessandro regularly if only he could live with her, but then she remembered Thea still belonged to an abusive family that made you obedient one way or the other.

There was also the fact Thea’s husband seemed to be suspiciously absent. Jam hadn’t seen him around once, and while he was glad about that, Aly started to consider that a bad sign, too. Then again, she was locked away for now and had too much time to go over the facts again and again. Suddenly, finding a judge to help them seemed as if it had been the smallest of their worries.

Her phone rang, and she jumped, surprised.

“Phil, hey! Are you ready to go home?” Aly smiled, knowing it was just a matter of days now that Phil would return to Sunrow. 

“Aly,” Phil just replied, and Aly already knew something had happened. She wasn’t sure she could take any bad news, but at least something was moving.

“Tell me,” she demanded and then nearly crushed her phone when her best friend did.

Jam watched his son draw a picture of what Lesso considered a racecar. Jam would call it a truck with too small wheels, but he didn’t say that.

The boy was in a surprisingly good mood and that was all that mattered to his father. Jam leaned back, watching. They were in one of the Karmison’s sitting rooms—a wide, open space with a fireplace to his left. It was so big Alessandro would be able to stand inside it with no trouble at all. A seating group in the middle dominated the rest of the room. While the whole area held cream-colored tones, the furniture was kept dark, making it contrast perfectly with the walls and the tiled floors. The windows were framed by red velvet curtains the color of Bordeaux. It was an elegant room, opening up to the terrace and the huge gardens. Thea had opened the doors to get the stuffy air out of the room, and Jam didn’t mind. It was a nice summer day with a light breeze going. There was no doubt that back in Aly’s house this would have been a cause to hang out at the beach all day.

“Do you want it green or blue, Dad?” Alessandro asked, and Jam focused back on him, picking up the green pencil.

“Green,” he decided, and Lesso nodded.

“Wanna help me color it?” he asked, and Jam leaned in.

“Oh, my … what a sight!”

Jam’s insides went ice cold. He had hoped to never hear that voice again, yet while not having seen Collene for years, he felt her harsh tones crawl up his skin, making him want to calm her down, to satisfy her need for control. Old habits clearly died hard.

“Keep coloring, buddy,” Jam ordered, tousling his son’s hair. Luckily, Lesso didn’t even look up while Jam moved, so he stood, hiding their boy from Collene’s view.

“I’m out vacationing for a few weeks and bam, look who shows up. With my kid!” She lowered her sunglasses while walking closer, dragging luggage behind her.

“Collene, hey,” Jam greeted her, wondering which was the best cause of action. He had no idea if assaulting her would keep her away from Alessandro or if playing nice would do the trick.

“How about a kiss as a welcome, lover boy?” she inquired, and Jam’s insides churned.

“He loves my mom,” Lesso injected, and Jam looked up to the ceiling, wondering if someone up there tried to punish him for something.

“
I
am your mom,” Collene protested, moving so she had a visual on the boy they were talking about.

Jam felt how Lesso took a spot next to him, grabbing his father’s hand. 

“Alessia is my mom,” his son stated, his voice hard, his expression the same.

“I carried you and then you were taken from me,” Collene gave back, and Jam wondered if she realized that she was discussing with a ten-year-old. He did notice the way her eyes glazed over with anger though at the mentioning of Aly’s name.

“People in town say I was saved from you.” Shocked, Jam stared at his son. He couldn’t believe someone in town had been brave enough to say that to the little boy. “Grandma says my mom … Alessia was my salvation.” 

“You don’t even know what that means,” Collene hissed, leaving her luggage behind as she came closer.

“Grandma said it meant I couldn’t swim and was in water I couldn’t stand in, and Mom taught me how to swim so I wouldn’t die.” Jam wanted Alessandro to stay quiet, but the fight in his son was obvious. He had not the slightest idea what Collene could do, and if Jam had any say in it, that wouldn’t ever change.

“That's not what salvation means.” Collene’s eyes went from the little boy to Jam, and it was the best thing Jam could wish for. “Salvation means you are close to dying and someone comes to rescue you. There’s no salvation for people like you and your father, Zack.”

“Wrong, Collene. He has been saved before, and I don’t care what you’ll do, touching my son is not an option.” Her face froze, and Jam realized that this was probably the harshest he had ever spoken to her. 

“Dad, can we just go?” Alessandro finally seemed to pick up on Collene’s aggressive mood, and it was good that his instincts told him to run.

“You can go. I need to talk to that woman for a few more minutes,” Jam replied, kneeling down to tell his son good-bye properly. His stomach felt heavy as if his whole body knew something that his mind hadn’t realized yet.

“Come with me, Dad,” Lesso pleaded, wrapping his small arms around Jam’s neck. 

“Don’t cry,” Jam whispered. He didn’t mind, but he knew it would cause Collene to be even more of a bitch. She had a thing about tears. They turned her on, gave her a feeling of power. She had a hard time letting her victim go once she spotted the first tears. “Go, and don’t come back. If you meet someone, tell them you got lost and you need to find Greg Rhyme. You know your uncle. That’s who you are looking for.” He said it so quiet; he hoped that Collene wasn’t able to hear him. “If I say go, you need to start running.” Lesso nodded slightly against his shoulder, and Jam prepared mentally for keeping Collene’s attention on him when his son was torn from his side.