A.L. Jambor (2 page)

I couldn’t see the inside of the tower, but I knew there was a warm fire blazing in a fireplace because I saw smoke. It was rising from a chimney set atop the peaked roof next to the tower. I walked up to the fence and put out my hand.

The air on the other side of the fence was warm. That’s why the flowers were still alive. The atmosphere surrounding the tower was different from where I was standing. I wanted to cross that line, that little white picket fence, and fill my lungs with that warm air.

“May I help you?”

I turned to see the tall man standing right behind me. He had crystal blue eyes that were warm and kind. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

I still didn’t answer. He must have thought I was dumb.

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

He reached out and I took his hand. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to do. His hand was warm. I hadn’t touched another human being in almost six weeks. I began to cry.

The man put his arm around my shoulder and I walked with him to the front door of the tower. He opened it and waited for me to cross the threshold. The air inside was filled with spicy scents. He walked past me to another door, and I followed him.

It was a kitchen. A large wooden table dominated the room, and he watched me as I took it all in. I turned my head to look at him and he smiled. He was handsome.

“What kind of tea would you like?” he asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“Then let me choose.”

He set about making tea by taking a canister from the windowsill and placing it on the table. The cups magically appeared and landed next to the canister. He waved his hand over the canister and tea leaves rose from it and went into the cups. There was a pot on a hook over the fireplace and it began to whistle. It flew to the table and poured its contents into the cups. He was still watching me.

I began to think about my hair. I had tied it back and stuck it beneath the collar of the sweatshirt. But it was so dirty.

“Please sit down,” he said.

I sat. The feel of the wooden bench was strange after sitting on rocks or on my cot for so many weeks. The cup moved toward me and stopped in front of my hands. I looked at it for a minute before picking it up and bringing it to my lips.

It tasted like home. Feelings of peace washed over me as the warm liquid filled my stomach. My mother’s smile as she bathed me. My father reading me a bedtime story. The warmth of their bodies near mine as they hugged me and kissed me goodnight.

He was sitting across from me and watching for my reaction.

“Drink it all,” he said, and I obeyed. Then I began to feel sleepy.

When I woke up, I was in my cave. The fire was going. I looked at the mouth of the cave and saw that something had been hung over it to keep out the cold. The small opening at the back of the cave, however, was still open.

I walked to the entrance and examined the cover. It was a large tapestry. It was hard to see in the firelight so I walked around it to the outside. It was daylight. Snow was falling.

The tapestry was a map. At the top was a mountain. There was a road leaving the mountain and winding its way to the bottom of the tapestry. Along the way were a dragon, a unicorn, and swords. At the bottom was the tower.

December 1

I know his name. It’s Geezer. He’s a wizard. Yes, I figured that out, but now I know for sure.

He came to me a week ago to see how I was doing. I wanted to cover my head in something, but it was too late. We sat in the cave on my cot and I told him my name and he told me his. He asked me about Pryll and I showed him Matt’s maps.

He conjured tea. This time I didn’t feel like I was home, but I did feel at ease. I didn’t care about my hair.

When we parted, he said he would come by again. He left me a basket of fruit and a loaf of bread.

The next morning I found a dress by my cot. I don’t think Geezer brought it to me. I think he
thought
it to me. I know I don’t know him very well, but I trust him. Perhaps I’m being naïve, but that’s just the way it is.

The dress is navy blue with gold trim. It is shapeless, like a tunic, but it reaches to the floor. It’s soft like lamb’s wool.

I was too dirty to put it on. I took the pot and filled it with snow. Then I let it melt. I washed myself as best I could without soap. Then I put on the dress.

It felt so good. The fabric felt like a hug.

December 2

Geezer has invited me to supper. When I woke up, I found a piece of parchment with the invitation written on it. I’m going.

December 3

The air in Geezer’s tower is so wonderful. The smell of cinnamon and nutmeg fills the air. Our dinner consisted of several varieties of fish and meat, bread, vegetables and fruits. I hadn’t eaten like that in a long time, and my stomach felt sick. Geezer had a tea for that. I was better in no time.

“I’d like to show you something,” he said.

He went out the back door and beckoned me to follow. I did. The back yard of the tower was filled with flowers, too, and there was another cave. I followed Geezer to the mouth of the cave and we went inside.

We walked for about ten feet and then I saw a pool with waterfalls. It was beautiful.

“It’s warm,” he said. “I’ll leave you to bathe.”

At first, I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. Then I noticed he was gone. Steam rose from the water. I felt so dirty I didn’t care if he saw me, so I stripped off the dress and plunged into the pool.

Warmth covered my body. I went under and felt the water roll through my hair. I ran my hands over my hair, scrubbing weeks of dirt and oil away. Nothing had ever felt this good.

The pool was wide and I swam across it, back and forth, several times. It felt good to use my muscles. The warmth loosened me up. How had I lived without a bath?

I lay on my back and floated. As I looked at the ceiling of the cave, I saw Matt’s face. It was so real it threw me. He began to speak.

“Hey, babe,” he said. “I see you.”

“You do?”

He laughed. “You look beautiful.”

“Oh, Matt.”

I began to cry.

“I want you to be happy,” he said.

“Then come back,” I said.

“Can’t, babe. I’m not real.”

“Then why did you come?”

Anger rose inside me. Don’t do this to me.

“I came because you need to be free.”

“Free from what?”

“From obligation. You don’t have to be faithful to me anymore.”

Without thinking I said, “I will always be faithful.”

“You will always love me, but you’ll also love someone else. I don’t want you to miss that love because of me.”

“I only just lost you.”

“And I’m never coming back.”

Until that moment, I thought he was. I just didn’t know I’d thought he was coming back.

The tears were flowing harder. When someone dies, they don’t come back. In my grief I hadn’t accepted the reality of death. The finality. The end. How could I still be here if
he
was gone?

Survival is a great distractor. If you have to work to survive, you can ignore the details. I had ignored the fact that Matt was really dead. I had burned his body, I had seen his bones in the center of the camp for weeks, but I was still expecting him to come home.

Ache in the heart. I had heard that expression. Heartache is one word, for God’s sake. Now I had it.

“I love you,” Matt said.

His face began to fade.

“Matt, no, come back. I love you, too!”

Geezer stood before me. He bore a sad look on his face as though he could feel my pain. Maybe he did.

He had a towel in his hand and a new dress on his arm. He put them both on a rock and left.

Unlike a bathtub, the water didn’t get cold. I stayed there for a long time.

When I went back to the tower, the table was filled with sugary treats. I hadn’t said much to Geezer since I’d arrived. He didn’t seem to care whether I spoke or not. I looked at the cookies.

“How do you know about cookies?” I asked.

“I’ve been to your time.”

“When?” I asked.

“That day you saw me in the cave. The day you didn’t speak.”

The day I saw him, the first day. He knew I was there.

“Where did you go?” I said.

“Through the portal.”

“And where does the portal go?”

“To Earth.”

I’d seen many things since meeting Geezer. I’d seen teacups fly across a room. I was hugged by a dress. I’d seen snow stop several feet above his garden. Why not go to another planet through a portal?

“What year is it on Earth?” I said.

“It’s their time. Perhaps a thousand years ahead.”

“So it’s modern.”

“More so than here.”

My heart filled with temptation. I wanted to jump into that portal and never look back.

“I can help you,” he said.

“With what?”

“I can get you clothes and money. You can go through the portal and find a home.”

How did he know what I was thinking? Was I that obvious?

I looked at Geezer. He was attractive. He had a beard - a nice, full beard that was neatly trimmed. His nose wasn’t too long or too wide. His lips were full but not overwhelming. I thought about kissing him, and guilt fell on me like a sledgehammer.

That’s when I left. I politely excused myself and went home. I’d forgotten how cold it was outside his garden and the air took my breath away. A cloak appeared out of the sky and fell on my shoulders.

That night, I curled up on my cot wrapped in the cloak. The fire never went out now, so I was able to relax. I knew Geezer was doing something to me, something that made me want to be with him. Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he just wanted companionship. Did wizards fall in love?

I thought about Matt’s face on the ceiling of the cave. He looked very real. Was it possible for someone to reach out from the other side and talk to you? Or was that part of Geezer’s magic?

I’m not very perceptive. I see something and it takes me a long time to understand what it meant. I may react emotionally, with tears or something like that, but true understanding doesn’t come until a day or two later. Then I feel stupid.

I was sick of crying. People can grieve for a long time. It had been two months since Matt died. That wasn’t very long.

Matt was twenty-four. If we had been on Pryll, he would have had maybe four years left. I am twenty-three. I would have been a widow before I was thirty. Does that excuse my attraction to Geezer?

“Is it really okay to let you go?” I said.

Then I went to sleep.

December 10

Geezer has been silent. I find food at my door but I don’t see him. It’s comforting to know I will not starve, but I can’t help feeling he will eventually want something in return. I’ve never met anyone who is totally unselfish.

December 15

I’ve been thinking about Christmas. It’s ten days away. On Pryll, we would celebrate by giving gifts. Soldiers went to Earth and stole things. We all got together and opened the presents. Last year, I got a television. I used it as a computer monitor.

I want to give Geezer something. What would a wizard need? A black cat? No – that’s for witches. A white cat? A bird, like an owl? How would I catch an owl?

What if he just wants me? What if I offer to stay with him at the tower?

I have to admit living there would not be a sacrifice. I would be near the biggest bathtub in the world. I would also be near the portal.

I’ve been thinking about the portal a lot lately. Geezer said he would give me money and clothes. He seemed sincere when he said it.

I remember Matt talking about Earth. He had been there once on an expedition. He said that historically, Earth was three hundred years behind Pryll. He said the process of degeneration was just beginning and that the scientists of Earth weren’t aware of it yet. I could live in a modern place that still had time. I could marry again if I wanted to. I know computers. I could work.

The dress began to hug me like it knew what I was thinking.

“You’re on his side,” I said. “Does he want me to stay?”

This is new territory for me. I didn’t have to make too many choices while living on Pryll. In the pod, food was given to us. We went to the schools the leaders chose for us based on our aptitude tests. When we graduated, we were given three choices of what we would do based, again, on our aptitude tests. And we could choose to marry.

Since reproduction is a moot factor, we didn’t have to marry, so it was a choice. But falling in love is never a choice. It’s something that happens to you and you accept it or reject it. Plain and simple. I was attracted to Matt. He was sweet and kind, and he was crazy about me. For him, it wasn’t a choice. I didn’t think much about how I felt. Maybe somewhere deep inside, I thought he had enough love for the two of us.

Now I have a choice to stay or to go. What’s holding me here? The memory of my dead husband? An uncomfortable attraction to a handsome young wizard? I have to decide what I want and it had better be right. Yeah – no pressure at all.

I think it’s easier to decide what I will give Geezer for Christmas.

December 16

Today is my mother’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom.

I went to the camp today. I was looking for something to give Geezer. I figured something from Earth would be unique and might mean something to him. I don’t know why.

Snow covers the pile of bones now. That’s all they are, those people I came here with. They are gone. Going through what’s left of their things was strange, and I felt like an intruder. The camp is their final resting place. It’s their grave. I won’t be going back again.

When I looked in Jim’s hut, I found his old gold watch. I don’t know how the looters missed it. It’s shiny.

Jim told me his father came from Sunge. They visited there a few times and picked up the watch at a store that sold antiques. He said that’s old stuff people had from a long time ago. This watch still works. You wind it and it keeps the time. Would Geezer care about time? It doesn’t matter because I can’t find anything else.