[Alaskan Quest 03] - Whispers of Winter (10 page)

I just understand and accept that whatever happens, happens. That He has been in control all along and that I need not fear the future.”

Helaina drew a deep breath and sighed. “I keep reminding myself the same thing. But, Leah, even Jesus, knowing what His purpose was in coming to earth, asked to be let out of it.”

Leah thought about that for a moment. “That’s true. He even knew what the outcome would be—and still He died for me.”

“And rose again,” Helaina replied. “I know you’re discouraged, Leah. I am too. I know it may seem I’m being strong and accepting, but it’s been so hard. I believe they’ll come home safe and sound. I don’t know why I believe it, but I’ve never been more confident of anything. What I don’t know is what Jacob’s heart will feel for me once he gets here.” “I know he loves you,” Leah offered.

“Maybe. But adversity sometimes changes people.”

Wills ploughed into Leah’s legs and laughed as though it were a special game. Champ was right at his side. She looked at her son and saw the startling reflection of his father’s face staring back up at her. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” she whispered. She lifted Wills into her arms, and for once he didn’t try to flee. Instead he took hold of her face, almost as though demanding she see him for who he was. Champ whined for a moment, then went to check on Merry.

“I sometimes get so afraid that they aren’t his children. I try not to think that way, and most days I’m all right. But I keep wondering what if he’s decided that they aren’t his? What if all this time he’s been pondering the situation and has decided that the twins are from Chase?”

“You can’t dwell on that. You know this. We’ve talked about it over and over. Leah, it doesn’t matter. They’re your children first and foremost. Your flesh and blood. You cannot worry about anything more. Jayce loves you and he loves the twins. He won’t deny them—not even after this long separation.”

Leah gently touched Wills’ hair. “But he hasn’t been here to watch them grow—to love them and know them. He hasn’t endured their tearful nights or sicknesses, nor enjoyed their sweetness.” Wills let go of her face and snuggled against her in uncharacteristic fashion. He seemed to sense her need for comfort.

“You worry about whether or not Jacob will love you, but I have the same worries,” Leah admitted. “What Jayce has endured may have changed him. I have to accept that possibility.”

“That’s nonsense. Has it changed your heart toward him?” Helaina asked, putting her hands on her hips like a scolding mother. She cocked her head to one side. “Leah Kincaid, you know better. This is just the devil trying to get the better of you.”

“I suppose you’re right. I’m so tired right now it makes no sense to even try to have a proper conversation.” She looked up and smiled. “I’m sorry to be so gloomy. Is there anything to eat? I need to sleep, but I also need food. I feel as though I haven’t eaten in weeks.”

Helaina laughed. “I have a nice caribou steak for you.

With that are some fried potatoes.”

“Potatoes?” Leah’s mouth watered. They hadn’t seen potatoes in so long.

“Whiskey wasn’t the only thing the whaler brought us. I secured these for us. The natives might not miss such things, but I do on occasion.”

Leah ate while Helaina prepared her tea. Once the cup was in front of her, Leah knew she wouldn’t last much longer. She took a long drink of the warm liquid. “Thank you for all of this. I suppose I should go rest now.”

“You do that. I’ll save this for you,” Helaina said, picking up Leah’s plate. “Your appetite will be stronger once you get some sleep.”

Leah nodded and got to her feet. “Call me if anything happens with John.”

“You know I will.”

Helaina watched Leah head off to rest. She admired Leah like no other woman. She could easily remember their first encounter and Leah’s kindness. Later, however, Leah had wanted nothing to do with her. She’d resented Helaina’s interest in her brother and blamed Helaina for all of them having to risk their lives in the wilds.

Helaina felt they were only right to blame her. She had known their forgiveness and God’s, but she wasn’t sure she’d fully accepted that release. So much had changed in her life these past years, and now the one question that continued to haunt her was the one thing she couldn’t answer. Not until Jacob came home.

“Either he loves me or he doesn’t,” she told herself. “If he loves me, then all is well. And if he doesn’t …” She felt a wave of despair wash over her. “If he doesn’t … then …” She thought of her words to Leah and smiled. She had to take such negative thoughts captive. “If he doesn’t love me still, then I shall make him fall in love with me all over again.”

Chapter Nine

J
uly brought beautiful sunny days and a healing in John that gave new hope to Leah. With John on the mend, Oopick insisted they move out of Leah’s home. Kimik set up a tent at the beach for them. He seemed less angry with God, but Leah worried that a barrier remained between him and the God of his father. Kimik’s wife, Qavlunaq, helped Oopick, freeing Leah to focus her attention on her family. Unfortunately, that caused her to feel an overwhelming sense of grief as the days continued to pass without word from Jayce or Jacob.

July also brought a letter from Karen and Adrik. They were coming with their children to be with Leah for as long as needed. They had been so upset to learn of the
Regina
’s disappearance the year before. Adrik, Karen wrote in her letter, had nearly loaded up a sled and team to reach Leah across the interior.

“‘He still thinks himself a young man,”’ Leah read aloud from the letter. “‘Of course, our rather rowdy boys are good at reminding him he is not.”’ She grinned. “I know how that goes. Wills and Merry leave me exhausted most days.”

Helaina motioned to the letter. “Does it say when they intend to leave or arrive?”

Leah read on. “She says they’ll leave at the end of June. That means they should be here soon. No telling what kind of storms or fogs might have slowed them down, but even so, it’s already the eighth.”

Helaina got to her feet. “I’ll pack my things and move back to the old place. The flooding isn’t that bad, and I could always use one of the tents. That way you’ll have the extra room for them.”

“I hate to have you go. We can surely just fit everyone in.”

“No, I think it’s better. I go there to take care of the dogs anyway. Besides, I like it there.”

Leah laughed. “Good thing, too, since you may call it home for a good long while.”

Helaina paused at the door. “I’d love nothing more.”

The salmon run proved to be abundant. Leah spent her free time catching as many salmon as possible and drying them for winter. Each evening they enjoyed fresh salmon for supper and even managed to have a few early bog blueberries.

Leah kept as busy as possible, knowing that this would help the time to pass more quickly. She read the Bible every day, washed and mended, played with her children, and helped with the dogs. She hunted for eggs and berries and caught salmon to provide for their needs, and she managed to work with Helaina to see the store had the supplies necessary for winter.

There was a great deal to do, but while this occupied her hands, Leah had to force her mind to be otherwise engaged. It was so easy to dwell on what she didn’t have instead of focusing on what the Lord had given.

Karen and Adrik arrived four days after their letter. With their baggage and crates sitting on the beach, Leah offered them a quick tour of the village on her way home.

“It’s a very small village, as you can see for yourself, but the people are very efficient. Some of the people have moved off to Teller or around Nome, but those who have stayed are just like family.”

Wills seemed in awe of Karen and Adrik’s boys. He didn’t run ahead in his characteristic manner but rather kept pace with the older boys, laughing and babbling as if he were giving the tour in his own way.

Leah looked at Karen’s children and shook her head. “I can’t believe how you’ve grown. Why, you’re nearly grown men.”

“I’ll be thirteen on August eighth,” Oliver declared proudly.

Christopher frowned. “My birthday doesn’t come ’til December.”

Leah laughed. “We’ll have to celebrate enough for both of you. I doubt you’ll be here on your birthday, so maybe we can pick a day and celebrate ahead of time.”

Christopher perked up and looked to his dad. “Could we?”

Adrik seemed to consider the matter seriously for a moment. “Well, I don’t know.”

“Please, Papa. Please!”

Adrik finally couldn’t keep the stern look in place. Laughing, he answered, “I don’t see any reason why not. I’m always game for a party.”

Merry seemed quite happy in Karen’s arms. “She’s so beautiful. Wills too. You must be so proud of them.”

Leah nodded. “They are truly a blessing.”

“A blessing out of sorrow,” Karen murmured. “How like God to give such a special healing.”

Leah considered Karen’s words. She was still haunted by the question of their parentage and whether or not Jayce would love them, but she often forgot how much they had helped her to focus on the future. Of course, they were also bittersweet reminders of the past.

“I can’t believe how big they are. I wish I could have seen them sooner.”

They came to stop in front of her home. “This is it,” Leah said.

“This is quite the house, Leah. You say you ordered it from a catalogue?” Adrik asked.

“Yes. All the parts and pieces came on a ship. It was quite an ordeal putting it together.” She leaned toward the man. “We had an amazing number of pieces left over and have no idea where they go.”

Adrik let out a powerful guffaw. “Well, it seems to be holding up well enough. I especially like the way you’ve built it up on pilings.”

“Jayce learned about it from some men who had experience with houses in Boston, of all places. Apparently they’ve reclaimed some of the land closest to the ocean, and to build on it, they’ve put the houses on pilings. It’s more complicated than that, but it caused Jayce to start thinking, and this is what he planned.”

“But he wasn’t here to build it?” Karen questioned.

“No, but he had left drawings. John and some of the others worked together and figured it all out. Anyone who says the native people are ignorant can’t possibly have spent any time with them.”

“I certainly agree with that.” Adrik had not only spent a good deal of his life around the Tlingit people of southeast Alaska, he was part Tlingit.

“The house has been harder to keep warm, of course,” Leah continued. “The people build into the ground around here for a reason. When the winds come up, we get a good chill. I think we’ll have to insulate better, but I like not living underground. It was the one thing I could never quite get used to. I always felt buried alive.”

“When will the villagers come back?” Karen asked. She put Merry down to play with the others.

“I’ve heard that the hunting has been good. Some have come back to set up drying racks and such. Others will wait until August. The berries around here look like they’ll be abundant, so many will want to be sure and get in on that. The village people are so good about helping each other. Like with us—Helaina and I can’t very well hunt seal for ourselves, and that is a staple of our diet out here, as well as a mainstay for clothing, oil, and such. John and his family have always been good to supply us with our share. Same with the whaling. The men will bring me my portion. They know they can count on me to trade store goods that the ships have brought me. We have a good system here.”

“It definitely seems that way. Nevertheless, the boys and I will do our best to help out while we’re here,” Adrik said, looking around.

“How long can you stay?”

“As long as you need us,” Karen said softly. “If things … well, if the worst should happen …” Her voice trailed off. She lifted her eyes to meet Leah’s gaze. “You always have a home with us. You know that, don’t you?”

Leah nodded and offered a weak smile. “I know that.” She wanted to maintain her composure, but just having family with her once again made Leah feel weepy.

“Where are your trees?” Christopher asked.

Leah immediately turned her attention to the boy. “They all blew away. At least that’s the story I’ve heard the natives tell. The winds from the sea blew so hard that they blew all the trees to the east.”

The boy shook his head and looked at the open landscape with disapproval. “It doesn’t look very pretty this way. I’d miss not having trees.”

Leah surveyed the treeless landscape. “I do miss them from time to time. I remember living with you in Ketchikan and the tall firs and pines. Oh, the aroma was heavenly. I’ll never forget the long walks in the forest. I always felt so protected there.”

Wills and Champ wandered over. “Eat, Mama,” Wills said, pulling on Leah’s skirt.

Leah nodded. “I would imagine everyone is starved. Helaina has been cooking for us, and lunch is likely ready. Why don’t we go inside?”

Christopher helped carry Merry, while Leah took Wills by the hand. Champ seemed excited and happy just to be included and bobbed along at Leah’s heels. Inside, the delicious aroma of salmon and vegetables filled the air.