All Access (Brothers of Rock #1) (rockstar contemporary romance) (3 page)

He could have given her his number, or better yet, asked for hers.

The longest relationship he had was five years ago.  Anna wasn’t the perfect woman, at least at the end of the relationship, and it bothered him that her claw marks still remained a little in his heart.

“Johnnie, are you listening to me?”

Johnnie blinked and looked at Peter.  A line of sweat glazed across his forehead and his eyes were bug like.

“No, I’m not.”

“We have to settle on this,” Peter said.  “I really think the charity show is going to build you up once you make your decision on the new song...”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Johnnie snapped.

“About what?  The show?  The song?  Your career?”

“Look.  Tonight’s the last show of this leg.  Okay?  Can’t we just take a break, clear our minds?”

“No.  There’s money behind this.  I’ve had a couple bites from networks too.”

“Networks?”

“Television.  They’re interested in seeing Johnnie, the man behind the band.  You on your own, singing on your own, just being Johnnie.”

“No.  No way.  I’m Johnnie from Chasing Cross.”

“We both know this break in the touring is getting old.  People are filling seats and we can fill more if we had more shows.”

“Are you unhappy with your compensation, Peter?”  Johnnie offered a wicked smile as he sipped his coffee.

Peter ran a napkin over his bald head and swallowed hard.  “Don’t be a prick to me, okay Johnnie?  We both know the writing is on the wall.  The label is changing.  They want you, Johnnie, and just you.  If you go into the studio again with the band, they’re going to mix them out of it.”

“Then I won’t record.”

“Then you’ll lose your contract.”

“Then I’ll lose my contract,” Johnnie said. 

“Just like that,” Peter said.  “It’s that easy for you?”

“No.  I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to understand why it’s not easy for me.”

Peter opened his mouth and then shook his head.  He growled and slapped the papers in front of him.

“This is your future.  A chance beyond the band.  You’re telling me that everyone is committed all the way?”

“Are you turning your back on us?  After all these years?”

“Never,” Peter said.  “I’m looking out for the best interest of everyone.  I don’t want the band to burn out on tour.  And I don’t want you to be held back.  You’re telling me that I’m supposed to forget about the acoustic demo you played for me at your cabin?”

Johnnie looked away.  He knew he was going to regret playing those songs for Peter.

“That’s how I write,” Johnnie said.  “I record acoustic and then take it to the band.”

“But this song...”

“It’s not done,” Johnnie said.  “Leave it at that.  When it’s done, we’ll talk.”

“Johnnie, Danny broke a television.  A call came in because Rick was puking so much.”

“We all drank,” Johnnie said.

“I know.  It’s the life, right?”  Peter put his hands up.  “Fine.  I’ll drop it.  Let’s talk about the charity show.”

Peter started to ramble again and Johnnie faded out.  Of course Peter was right.  The other guys lived their own private ways.  The brotherhood ran deep but not without demons.  Hell, Johnnie wasn’t perfect either.  The only difference was that he was the front man of the band.  For whatever reason that made him different.  He was supposed to be the leader.  The wise one.  The one who listened and took care of everything. 

But even then, sitting in the café with Peter, thinking about the contract for a solo project, thinking about Rick’s drinking, thinking about the show tonight and how he wanted to change the set list, one thing kept popping into his mind.

Jess.

Why didn’t he ask for her number?  Why didn’t he tell her he was playing the concert she was probably going to tonight?

Johnnie sighed, leaving it all in the hands of fate, something he wasn’t used to and something he didn’t like very much.

(5)

Marie showed up an hour early and when Jess opened the door, Marie stood there, swaying her hips and hair as though a song was playing.  Jess was sure a song played in Marie’s head and she hurried to usher her into the apartment before any of the neighbors saw.

“Excited?” Jess asked.

“You have no freaking idea,” Marie said.  “I’ve been dying to see these guys for two years.  They tour so weird.”

“How so?”

“They’ll have a huge tour but do it in chunks.  Tour for a month, then take a month off.  And you just have to wait and wait and wait... oh, and tonight is their last show before a break.”

“Is that good?”

“I hope so.  Maybe they’ll do something special.”

“How much do I owe you for the ticket?”

“Nothing.  My treat.”

“Marie...”

“You’re helping me out,” Marie said.  She took Jess by the wrist and forced her to stop.  “Seriously.  I need tonight.”

“Well... what happened with Ted?”

“He’s a guy.  Whatever.”

“You didn’t tell him you loved him, did you?”

“No.”  Marie rolled her eyes.  “I don’t think so.”

“I’m serious,” Jess said.  “You freak guys out when you do that.”

“I don’t mean it like
love love
,
you know?”

“I know what you mean.  But when a guy hears
I love you
on the third date...”

“Blah, blah,” Marie said.  “I don’t know if I like Ted.  He’s not very good in bed.  I asked him about it and he said he was nervous.”

“You told him he wasn’t good in bed?”

“No... I asked him, ‘Is that how it always is?’ and he told me he was nervous.”

“Marie, I do love you,” Jess said.  “You’re freaking wild sometimes.”

“No.  I’m honest.  I don’t settle.  And I’m really excited for tonight.”

“I’m excited too,” Jess said.  “But I have to ask... is this a normal band?”

“Define normal?”

“The last band we saw, the lead singer threw paint balloons into the crowd...”

“Oh, yeah.  No, these guys are normal.  You’ve heard of them before.  I know it.  They’ve been around for a while too.  It’s Chasing Cross.”

“Chasing Cross...”  Jess knew the name. 

Marie handed Jess her ticket and Jess rubbed her finger on it.  She felt a little weird taking the ticket. 

Chasing Cross.

“Chasing Cross,” Jess repeated.

“Here, check it out,” Marie said. 

She handed Jess her cell phone as it started to play a song. 

“This is their most popular song,” Marie said.  “It’s called “Chasing”, as ironic as that is.”

“Oh, I know this song,” Jess said.

It was a good song.  Catchy, lots of guitar, a good drumbeat, actually something Jess could get into and wouldn’t mind seeing live.  When the intro ended and the singing began, Jess felt her heart starting to race. 

“Yeah, I really like this,” Jess said.

“Good.  Now get ready, I want to leave soon.  Maybe we can meet the band.”

“Meet the band?”

“Sure.  If we get there early enough.  Maybe we can see their tour bus or something.  That would be so cool.”

Jess watched as her friend slowly turned into a teenager girl, wide eyed, excited, full of hope.

“Okay, let me get ready then.”

“Hurry.”

Jess turned and then stopped.  She reached behind and snagged Marie’s phone out of her hand.

“What are you doing?  I’m not going to text Ted...”

“I don’t care about Ted,” Jess said.  “I want to hear more of Chasing Cross.”

“Good girl.”

Jess strutted away as the next song started.  A slow, ballad type but what made Jess freeze as she stepped into her bedroom was the voice.  That same voice again.  That singer.  The depth of his voice, the raw sound of it... it sounded just like...

(6)

“Johnnie!  You ready, bro?”

Johnnie took a breath and turned to see his brother, Danny, standing behind him.  Danny already had his guitar slung around his neck, ready to go.  That was Danny’s pre-show routine.  He’d wear his guitar for an hour, strum random chords and notes, play riffs, play Chasing Cross songs, play other songs.  Whatever came to him.

Five minutes before show time, he would hand the guitar off to the tech who could then hurry and tune it back to perfection and have it waiting for Danny on stage.

“Let’s go,” Johnnie said.

“Wild crowd out there tonight,” Rick said.  He twirled his drumsticks and then started playing on the leather couch backstage.

“Fuck, I love this feeling,” Chris said.  “It’s like a drug high.”

Chris’s eyes went wild for a second. 

Johnnie tensed and eyed the bassist.  A long time ago, back in the days of their youth, Chris had himself a drug problem.  He hid it for a long time until he almost died on stage one night in Seattle.  It brought Chasing Chase into headline news, being called a useless drug band.  Half their tour was cancelled as Chris went through rehab and when he came out, the first thing the band did was go into the studio and write what would be their bestselling album yet.

Johnnie did indulge with Chris a few times, but never let it become a habit and never thought Chris would let it become a habit either.

“Let it be your only high,” Davey said as he ran his fingers through his black hair.  Davey was the biggest guy in the band, often confused for one of the security guys instead of a band member. 

“Come on,” Chris said and shook his head.

“We’re all good,” Johnnie finally said.  “A little capper before the show and nothing else, right?”

Johnnie purposely looked at all the band members but focused on Rick.  He didn’t have a shit eating grin on his face so Johnnie took it at face value.

Peter appeared in the doorway, his eyes down at his phone.  The man sweated all the time.  From the moment he met with the band until now, all he did was sweat. 

“Guys, they’re starting the intro in ten seconds.”

Peter left and the entire room changed.

The anticipation kicked in instantly.  The high that Chris talked about hit everyone.  Johnnie looked at his band mates, everyone in silence.  The intro music kicked in, the heavy thuds of drums, the crawling feedback of guitars, the muffled voice of Johnnie.  The pre-recorded track got everyone into the show. 

Johnnie closed his eyes and prepared. 

He was ready.

The last show for a month, with the exception of the charity show.  But that would be laid back and relaxed.  More of a jam session than anything else. 

Johnnie focused and prepared.  He opened his eyes and tilted his head down.  He curled his lip into the devilish grin that made any woman ache for him and any man wish they were as cool as
fucking Johnnie from Chasing Cross
.

“Let’s go,” he said.

He led the way out of the room, hearing the sound of the band preparing too.  Davey and Chris always slapped fives.  Danny and Rick went arm in arm, talking about one of their earliest shows. 

Johnnie took the hall and saw the entrance to the stage. 

This was it.

The intro continued and the crowd roared.  From the small opening to the stage, he could see the lights moving and flashing and changing colors.

This was what it was all about.

Music.

Life.

Soul.

Rock n’ roll.

Johnnie touched his chest.  His heart raced like nothing he ever experienced before.  The closest it had come to this in years was at the café earlier that morning.

With that woman...

With...

(8)

“JESS!  Can you feel it?!”

Jess stood next to Marie and yes, she could feel it. 

The radio had been playing for the past ten minutes while the stage was prepared for Chasing Cross. 

Then everything changed.

The lights went out and the room exploded.  Jess reached for Marie and found her hand.  She held it tight and Marie started to shake.  She was already screaming, her voice piercing Jess’s ears, making her squeeze her eyes shut.

A single white light came on, over the microphone.

It was empty, for now.

A track started to play.

The drums came through the speakers like synchronized thunder.  Then came the bass, the low rumbling of perfection only to be offset by the sound of guitars. 

And finally... the voice.

The voice.

In the mostly dark crowd, hearing the voice through all the speakers like this, it drove Jess mad.  She couldn’t believe how her body reacted at that moment.  Her heart pounded.  Her body tingled.  Her most sensitive areas suddenly felt good.