All Access (Brothers of Rock #1) (rockstar contemporary romance) (5 page)

“Enough,” Johnnie said and slipped away.

“Hey!  Johnnie!” Chris yelled.

Johnnie stopped and turned.  The rest of the band came down the hall, slow and confident.  He could read their eyes, knowing they were ready for a water, a beer, and a shot. 

“What’s up?” Johnnie asked.

“It’s the last show,” Chris said.  “How about... we say something?”

“That was a great show,” Rick said.  “Johnnie, you were on fire.  You were like part of the crowd, man.”

“And the acoustic version of “Chasing”,” Danny said.  “That was amazing.”

“Really?” Johnnie asked.  “I was hoping I didn’t piss you guys off with that.”

“No way,” Chris said.

“It’s cool,” Danny added.  “Didn’t see it coming.”

“But we pulled it off,” Rick said.  “Just proves how good we still are.”

Rick put a hand up and made a fist.

Johnnie laughed as the rest of the band had that gleam in their eyes.  Johnnie remembered that gleam and the first time he saw it after one of their first practices, after writing one of their earlier songs.  They had pulled off the song without a single mistake and once the song ended, the phone rang with an offer for their first gig. 

Now it was years upon years later, millions of albums sold, millions of t-shirts and stickers sold, world tours, and all the allure that comes with being in such a band and they could still have those simple moments that boil down to the music. 

It’s always about the music.

“How about we celebrate with a quick shot?” Davey asked.  “I have a bottle of Jack on the bus, saved it for tonight.”

“That’s a lot of whiskey for a short bus ride,” Danny said.  “We’re, what, five miles from the hotel?”

“Works for me,” Rick said.  He put his arms around Davey and Danny’s necks.

“Guys, listen,” Johnnie said, “I have something to take care of here...”

“Take care of?” Chris asked.  He looked beyond Johnnie and saw Peter aimlessly pacing wall to wall, glued to his cell phone as always.

Around them a small crowd of roadies were already taking the equipment and stage setup apart, the behind the scenes crew that worked to the bone to make sure the look and feel was as good as the music, each and every night.  Johnnie knew them all by name and made sure they were all taken care of.  That was another purpose of having breaks in the tour.  The guys were flown home to spend time with their families.  A chance to unwind and relax before going back on the road.  Most of the guys were meant to be on the road and simply went to another band but at least ten of the guys had wives, girlfriends, and kids at home.

“Is it Peter?” Chris asked.  “Something going on?”

“No,” Johnnie said.  “Not Peter.  Why?”

“You seem anxious,” Chris said.  “You’re not talking contracts without the band, are you?”

Johnnie felt his heart sink.  He forced himself to smile.  “Ball breakers.”

“Who?” Rick asked.  “Us?”

“Yeah,” Johnnie said.  “You want to know the truth?”

“Spill your guts,” Davey said.

“There’s a woman...”

“No way,” Danny cut in.  “You have a groupie waiting for you?  I thought we were past that stage...”

“Or at least if we were going to pick up some women, you should have told us,” Rick said.  “There was a few in the crowd tonight...”

“Guys, we’re not twenty anymore,” Johnnie said.  “It’s not like that.  There’s the woman I met today.  She had no idea who I was.”

“Oh no,” Chris said, “did the giant ego bubble bust?”

The band laughed and Johnnie put his hands up.

“It’s not that,” Johnnie said.  “There was just something about her.  She had tickets to the show from her friend and she had no clue who I was.  She came to the show and I saw her... I have to talk to her...”

“She’s in your room?” Rick asked.

Johnnie nodded.  He started taking steps back.  “That was the best show of the tour.  Keep that locked in your hearts, okay?  We get a little break now, nobody get into trouble.”

“You’re the only one who seems to be heading for trouble,” Danny called out.

Johnnie turned and refused to believe this was going to be trouble.  Meeting a woman was fine, natural even.  It had been a long time for Johnnie and the whole rockstar image was kept alive because of his single status. 

Not that any of that left Johnnie, there was just something about Jess.  He thought about Chris’s comment on his ego and he shook his head.  It wasn’t the ego thing, at least completely.  Sure, Johnnie had gotten used to everyone knowing him, bothering him, wanting him.  So it was a little foreign to have a woman - especially one as beautiful as Jess - not have a clue who he was.

The more he walked, the more Johnnie caught himself starting to move faster.  He never hurried for a woman, ever.  There was no need to do so... if a woman couldn’t wait for him, there’d be ten more to take her place.  But inside Johnnie, at that moment, he’d trade a hundred women just to have a chance to see Jess again.

When he made it to the door he opened it in a hurry, expecting to see the room empty.

But it wasn’t empty.

There she was, standing there, playing with her hands, looking nervous.

Their eyes met and Johnnie smiled.

Jess smiled back at him, looking just as surprised as Johnnie was.

“Hey,” Johnnie said.

He was out of breath, not just from the show.  Not just from the jog down the hall.  It was mostly from staring at Jess.  Gosh, she was beautiful.

“Nice show,” Jess said.

Johnnie went to take a step and realized something.

He wasn’t heading for trouble... he was in trouble.

(10)

The door opened, Johnnie walked in, and Jess couldn’t move.  She found herself just seconds earlier debating what to do.  The show had ended what felt like an hour ago and outside the room she could hear people walking around. 

All she could think about then was Marie.  Standing outside or near outside, waiting.

But the second she saw Johnnie, everything inside her mind was blasted away.  All she could focus on then was him.  His sweaty hair.  His sweaty body.  The way his white t-shirt clung to him, revealing a set of amazing muscles that Jess hadn’t had the chance to see earlier in the café.  His jeans and black shoes somehow completed the way he looked, making him hands down the sexiest man Jess ever saw in her life. 

When he spoke to her, Jess managed to say one thing.

“Nice show.”

Whether it was the right or wrong thing to say Jess didn’t know.

But Johnnie smiled, so that had to mean something.

“Yeah, that was a fun show.  Changed things up a little in the middle.”

“With “Chasing”?” Jess asked.

“Yeah.  I wrote that song on an acoustic guitar for myself a long time ago.”

Jess stood, still trying to come to terms that she was alone with the lead singer of Chasing Cross.  And now he was explaining where songs came from.  This was a dream.  No, it was beyond a dream.  A fantasy.

“That’s how I write all the songs, to be honest.  I’ll just play and record demos.  Just me and a guitar.  I come up with some ideas and then pass them off.  The band then takes my junk and turns it into treasure.”

“That song, acoustic, wasn’t junk,” Jess said.  “I... I sort of liked it better...”

Johnnie smiled.  “Yeah, you’re not the first person to say that tonight.”

Johnnie’s smile went away as he turned to look at himself in a mirror that had four lights above it.  He leaned against a small counter and sighed.

“Thank you for doing this,” Jess said.

“For what?” Johnnie asked.

“Bringing me back here.  And I’m sorry I didn’t know who you were.”

“That’s fine,” Johnnie said.  “Do you know who I am now?”

“I know you’re the lead singer of Chasing Cross.”

“Is that enough?”

Jess found her fingers twitching even more.  She couldn’t believe how nervous she was right now.  In the café, it had been so easy to talk to Johnnie.  Now, after knowing he was famous, it seemed different.  But why?

“No,” Jess said.

“No?”

“No.  Just because you’re famous...”

“So are you,” Johnnie said.

He pushed from the counter and walked across the room.  He reached for a bag and opened it.  Jess couldn’t help herself as she watched.  She caught sight of notebooks, loose papers, and guitar picks. 

“I keep as much as I can with me,” Johnnie said.  “You never know when inspiration will attack.”

He then pulled out a book and tossed it to Jess.

She managed to catch the book.  Her thumbs glided over the bubbled text on the cover as her cheeks started to turn red.

“Now I’ll be honest,” Johnnie said.  “I grabbed a copy of it today, after I left the café.  You’re not an easy girl to find...”

Jess’s fingers ran across her name on the book.  Everything was written under the name Jessica CeeCee.  Her debut novel, in the hands of Johnnie from Chasing Cross.  She looked up from the book and felt the urge to cry.

“I managed to get it,” Johnnie said with a smile.  “Obviously.”

“What do you think of it?” Jess asked.

“I love it, so far.  Halfway through it.  I pissed off my manager because I ignored his calls while reading it in my hotel room.  Sucked me right in.  You’ve got talent.”

Jess smiled and put the book on a table.  It seemed so strange to see something she’d written in print like that.  And the fact that Johnnie was able to walk into a bookstore and find it.

“It’s a strange feeling, right?” Johnnie asked.

“What is?” Jess asked.  She hoped he wasn’t talking about the way Jess felt for Johnnie.  Feelings were building and she was too afraid to explore them right then. 

“Seeing something you created become mainstream.”

“That’s for sure.”

“When we started playing together, it was just for fun.  I mean, sure, we dreamed of hitching to California and following our heroes footsteps, but it was just about playing.  Those early shows, ten people in a bar, three watching us, they were some of the best shows.  Then you write music, record it, and people want it.  They don’t just want to listen to the music either, they want to experience it.  That’s where the passion is.  Standing on stage, looking into the eyes of all those people.  Each and every one of them, focused on you, their eyes begging for more, wanting more.”

“Sounds amazing,” Jess said.

“It is... but there’s something more amazing than that.”

Jess was about to ask
what?
when Johnnie moved towards her.  It was the first advance he’d made at her since coming into the room.  Jess could have stepped back, or even stepped forward, but she remained in place.

Johnnie got close to her, a foot away.  She could smell him.  The sweat.  The hint of his cologne.  Then there was his eyes.  They were dark and beautiful, looking like they could hold pain and project love, all at the same time.  A man who took no prisoner, who walked the path he believed in.  It was almost overwhelming.

Then Johnnie reached for Jess’s hand.  His touch was gentle, and Jess shivered with excitement.

“I looked out in that crowd tonight,” Johnnie said, his voice almost a whisper.  “And I looked for you.  I searched for you.  Hoping you’d be there... and you were...”

“My friend,” Jess started to say, but stopped.

“I saw you standing there.  Your face said it all.  You really didn’t know who I was.  It drove me wild.  You’re so beautiful and I couldn’t help myself, Jess.  That show, that was your show.  Not mine.  Not the bands.  Not the crowd.  Not even your friend.  That was your show.  My gift to you.”

Jess swallowed.  She had no idea how to respond to that.

Johnnie wasn’t just commanding, he was serious.

“I’m used to just having what I want, when I want it,” Johnnie said.  “And that’s usually because of who I am.  With you, I want what you want, when you want it.”

“Johnnie... you’re a famous singer.  I’m just an author.”

“That has nothing to do with feelings, does it?”

Jess shook her head.  Of course it didn’t.

“We have a charity show and then I have a few weeks off.  That’s a few weeks to get to know you.  To explore you, Jess.”

“I can’t believe this,” Jess said.

“Can’t believe what?”

“You’re the lead singer of Chasing Cross...”

Johnnie sighed and lowered his head.  His grip squeezed on Jess’s wrist, for a second, and then released.  When he looked at her again, his eyes seemed different.  They looked more painful than caring.  Jess had struck a nerve and she regretted it.  She tried to reach for Johnnie but he walked back towards the mirror.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jess said.  “I promise.”

“If I would have just given you my number,” Johnnie said.  “And you didn’t come to the show... this would be normal.  Wouldn’t it?”