All He Ever Desired (15 page)

A few minutes later, he walked into the kitchen. His mouth was set in a grim line and the tension in his body didn’t ease when he saw her, though he did give her a quick kiss. “Hi, hon.”

“I hear you’re having troubles.”

“Yeah. Nothing I can’t fix, but I have to head home and deal with it.” Her heart twinged at the word “home.” “If all goes well, I’ll be back by late Friday afternoon or early evening.”

“When are you leaving?”

“In a few minutes. I need to throw my stuff in my bag and then I’ll head out.”

Rose turned to look at him, a half-peeled potato in her hand. “It’s a four-and-a-half-hour drive, Ryan. Can’t you leave in the morning?”

“Not and make a seven-o’clock meeting.”

“I should probably grab Nick and get out of the way,” Lauren said, heading toward the door.

Ryan gave her a funny look, then grabbed her hand and pulled her in for another kiss. “You’re never in the way. And I’m going to go talk to Nick. I want to tell him I’m leaving, but he’s also done with his punishment.”

Lauren felt her eyes widen. When Ryan started wrapping things up, he really went all out. “Okay.”

“Starting Monday, if he wants to keep working, he’ll get paid. I’ve already talked to Josh and there’s plenty of busywork around this place.”

So he wasn’t cutting Nick loose. She nodded and tried to smile. “I think he’d like that.”

“But I’ve gotta make it quick. Rosie, can you—” He turned to the housekeeper, but she was already pulling deli meat and the mayo out of the fridge. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.”

He went out the back door, bristling with angry energy, and Lauren sank onto one of the kitchen chairs. “That’s a long drive.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“After Josh broke his leg, Ryan was really driving up here on Friday nights and driving home on Sunday?”

“Not every weekend. And whenever he could, he’d take the Friday or Monday off so they could get more done up here.”

That would never work for an extended period of time, though. And how hard would it be on a relationship to only see each other on weekends? It would be especially hard for Ryan and Nick, since Nick spent those days with Dean.

“I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head, girl. Are you borrowing trouble over there?”

Lauren sighed. “Not borrowing it. I already own it, but I guess I chose to ignore it until now.”

Rose set down her knife and crossed her arms. “You got married and had a baby young. You went through a divorce and you’ve been a single mother for eight years. You’ve been keeping a sixteen-year-old boy on a mostly straight path in a town with nothing to offer. And now you’re going to let two hundred and thirty miles kick your ass?”

Wow. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Rose say “ass” before. “It’s not just about the miles. He’s already a part of our lives, but I know nothing about his. I don’t even know what color his house his.”

“It’s beige. Inside and out, everything’s beige because he builds beautiful houses, but can’t decorate worth a damn.”

“Do you think he’s thought about it?” Lauren hated sounding needy, but nobody knew Ryan the way this woman did. “That we’re not a part of
his
life?”

“I don’t know. But I bet he will when he’s all alone in that big beige house for a couple of days and nights, missing you.”

Lauren smiled, imagining him stretched out on a beige couch, staring at the ceiling with nobody to talk to. Of course, there was always a chance he’d be happy to have the peace and quiet and decide he didn’t need the complication of a woman with a teenage son who lived hours away.

This time, when Ryan walked through the door, he smiled at her, looking a little bit more relaxed. Nick was at his heels and he grabbed his backpack out of the corner. Guess they were leaving.

Lauren stood up and gave Rosie a smile since she couldn’t really thank her for the advice in front of Ryan. “We should probably go. You’ve got a long drive ahead of you.”

He stepped close to her. “I’ll miss you.”

She certainly hoped so. “Call me when you get a chance. It’s going to be insane at work because Gary destroys the office if I’m gone an hour, never mind three sick days, but anytime after work hours.”

“I will.” He kissed her, maybe a little longer and harder than he should have in the kitchen, but nobody complained. “I’ll see you Friday.”

She drove home listening to Nick’s excitement that he’d be getting paid to work at the lodge now. There weren’t many jobs in Whitford and, since the economy had suffered, adults had taken the jobs the teens used to do. Plus, his penance was over and his debt paid, which was a weight off his shoulders.

“That’s great, honey,” she said. “I’m proud of you. It might have started as a punishment, but you earned yourself the job.”

“When I get my first paycheck, I’m going to take us out for ice cream at the diner.”

Lauren couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “I can’t wait.”

“I’m going to get a banana split because you never let me. I bet Ryan will get a sundae with chocolate ice cream and hot fudge because he loves chocolate. What are you going to get?”

A son with a broken heart if Ryan went home and remembered he liked his uncomplicated beige life, she thought. Maybe not broken, but bruised. Hers would be the broken one. “Coffee ice cream with caramel topping and extra whipped cream.”

He gave her a sideways look. “Will they charge me for extra whipped cream?”

Laughing, she shook her head. “Paige won’t charge us for extra whipped cream. Neither will Ava.”

Some of the tightness eased in her chest. She’d be okay. No matter what happened in the future with Ryan, she had Nick and they’d both be okay.

Chapter Fifteen

“You can’t keep doing this.”

Ryan scrubbed his hands over his face. He knew Wendi, his office manager, was right, even without Phil nodding his agreement from the other chair.

“If you’re still in charge,” she continued, “you need to be here. If you want to be there, then somebody else has to be in charge. And not just somebody you delegate stuff to and communicate through. Somebody has to be
the boss
.”

Phil leaned forward. “When we have to keep telling homeowners and real estate brokers and architects and suppliers over and over you’re unavailable, even if we can give them a reason, they lose confidence in the company.”

As much as he’d tried not to think about this day, it was time to quit with the denial and come back to reality. He’d asked a lot of his people over the past month, especially Wendi, who’d been with him since the end of his first year in business. She’d started out part-time, out of her house, and he’d pretty much eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for months to scrape up the money to pay her. But he sucked at remembering to return phone calls and file paperwork, and he couldn’t run his growing business out of his pickup anymore. She was as important to Kowalski Custom Builders as he was, and he could see she was nearing the end of her rope with him. He couldn’t lose her.

“We’ve just about wrapped up the projects they need me for,” Ryan said. “Once the roofing’s done, I’ll be done except for some weekend side work. Another week, so you can start telling people I’ll be available starting the twenty-ninth.”

They both sagged back in their chairs, relieved smiles lighting up their faces. All he felt was grim resignation and a knot in his gut. This was going to change everything.

“Except on weekends,” he said. “No Saturday meetings.”

“You got it,” Wendi said. “As long as you’re here during the week, we can handle anything that comes up on a Saturday.”

Once they left, Ryan leaned back in his oversize leather office chair and folded his hands behind his head. There were piles on his desk. He hated piles. And he knew Wendi had kept on top of the urgent things, but she’d leave anything she could for him as punishment.

It had been a long drive home and a short night’s sleep, followed by a very long, intense day of meetings and phone calls. All he wanted to do was hit the drive-through of the first fast-food joint he came to and then stretch out on his couch. He’d drift off to the sound of the TV and then, at some point, wake up enough to stagger off to bed.

By the time he pulled into the driveway of his big, empty house in the middle of a gorgeous neighborhood full of families, and grabbed his paper bag of dinner off the passenger seat, he was almost ready to skip the couch nap and head straight to bed. He knew that no matter how tired he was, though, if he went to bed now, he’d be up at four, ready to face a day that hadn’t started yet.

He watched a rerun of
Bonanza
while he ate, because that was what was on and he couldn’t reach the remote.

Then he stretched out on the couch and pulled out his phone. Lauren answered on the second ring and he smiled at the sound of her voice. “Another couple minutes and you would have missed me. I was going to jump in the shower before our shows start.”

“I won’t keep you. I just wanted to say hi. I said I’d call.”

“You sound tired,” she said after a few seconds.

“I’m pretty beat. It was a very long day with a lot of tense people in it.”

“Is everything okay?”

“It will be.” He didn’t want to talk about work. “Tell me about your day.”

She told him how excited Nick was about the fact he’d be earning a paycheck and how today he’d brought home an A on his history quiz, which was a first. Ryan could feel the tension easing out of his body as he listened to her voice.

Lauren was what he needed at the end of the day.

“You didn’t fall asleep on me, did you?” he heard her ask, and he realized he’d been dozing off to the comfortable lull of her voice.

“Of course not.”

“Liar. Go to bed. I’m going to go jump in the shower.”

“Good night, Lauren.”

After she said good-night and hung up, he pushed himself up off the couch and tossed the paper debris from his supper. Then he went into his room, stripped down and climbed into bed.

He’d always loved his bed. It had a firm mattress and was big enough for him to stretch out if he wanted. Tonight, though, it felt hard and cold. And he didn’t want to stretch out. He wanted to spoon his body around Lauren’s and hold her while she fell asleep.

Looking around the room, he wondered what she’d think of it. Her house was neat and not too cluttered with knickknacks and crap, but his room bordered on austere. The only bright spots were the family photos on the wall.

It could probably use some color. Neutral tones like beiges and tans were attractive to buyers, but he didn’t see selling the place anytime soon. Maybe some throw pillows and new drapes wouldn’t hurt, either. And a woman. It needed a woman and a teenage boy to muck things up. Maybe more kids to really make a mess. But, mostly, nothing would warm up the house—and his bed—like Lauren.

It wasn’t too late yet, so he took his phone off the bedside charger before he could squash the impulse. He scrolled through his contacts until he found Mitch’s number and hit Call. It rang three times before his brother answered. “Hello?”

“Can I borrow your bike for the weekend?” Once he’d popped the question to Paige, Mitch had had the motorcycle shipped to Whitford, where it lived in the Northern Star’s barn until they moved into a house with a garage.

“The whole weekend? Aren’t you supposed to be working? You’re always working.”

“Just looking to blow off a little steam.” And as far as Ryan was concerned, that was all he needed to know.

“Sure. I won’t be home until close to noon Saturday, so you’ll have to get the key and my helmet from Paige. And I’m sure she wouldn’t mind lending out her helmet, too, if you need it.”

As fishing expeditions went, it wasn’t subtle. “Thanks.”

“Going anywhere special?”

He might as well skip being discreet. The Kowalski family didn’t know the meaning of the word. “I want to bring Lauren here. I’m in Brookline, by the way.”

“Paige told me you had to go home. So, you’re going to drive back to Whitford tomorrow, then ride down on the bike with Lauren and then drive back on Sunday? In October, when it’s not really all that balmy, of course.”

“I want her to see my house, and weekends are the only time it can happen, so yeah.”

His brother was quiet long enough that Ryan guessed he probably wouldn’t like whatever came out of his mouth next. “I thought you guys were just fooling around. I didn’t realize it was that serious.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“No.” Again with the hesitation. “Just a lot of hurdles, that’s all.”

“I got a ribbon in track and field. I can handle it.”

Mitch laughed. “Dumbass, that was a
participation
ribbon. You sucked at track and field.”

“Screw you.” He hung up. Mitch called right back and Ryan answered it. “What?”

“The throttle sticks a little shifting from first to second and you might have to goose it a little. Try not to dump Lauren off the back.” Then he hung up.

It was too late now to call Lauren back and see if she even wanted to go on the ride he’d just suffered taking his brother’s crap for. She was probably already in the shower, and then she’d be watching TV with Nick. It would give him a good excuse to call her tomorrow afternoon since, judging by the looks of his schedule, he wouldn’t be pulling into Whitford until pretty late.

Yawning and forcing himself to close his eyes, he wondered how long he’d be able to keep up with driving back and forth from Brookline to Whitford on the weekends. Eventually, balancing his business with seeing Lauren was going to wear him down and one or both would suffer. But he couldn’t see giving up either of them, so he’d make it work. Somehow.

* * *

When her phone rang, Rose wasn’t surprised to see Liz’s number pop up on the caller ID. At the end of the last message Rose had left on Liz’s voice mail, Rose had threatened to send one of her brothers to New Mexico in person if Liz didn’t call her back.

“Don’t you dare send any of the boys here,” Liz said once they’d said hello.

“Then don’t ignore my calls.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Then send a text that says ‘busy, will call later’ instead of breaking up with a long-term boyfriend and then dropping off the face of the planet. I watch
Criminal Minds
and
20/20
. I worry.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. What’s going on in Whitford? The condensed-digest version.”

Rose sighed. “Pretty much the same as was going on when you left.”

“What’s going on with Ryan and Lauren?”

She put the phone on speaker and picked up her knitting. She loved newfangled technology. “Nobody’s really sure. If they lived in the same state and she didn’t have a teenage son to consider, they’d probably be pretty serious. But it’s about time for him to go back to Brookline and nobody knows what’s going to happen. He’s not saying.”

“He probably doesn’t know. And being a Kowalski, he’s probably too stubborn and thickheaded to ask.”

“Speaking of stubborn, thickheaded Kowalskis, when are you moving home?”

Liz laughed and it made Rose smile. Her girl sounded less tired than she had in years, as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. A weight named Darren. “I’m not, Rosie. But I’m going to try to come home for Christmas.”

It was more than she’d had of Liz in the past and it would be enough. “I’m going to ask Sean and Emma if they’ll come, too. It’s been too many years since we’ve all been together for Christmas. Did you have a good time at the wedding?”

Rose knit half a row of stitches before Liz answered. “Yeah, I had a good time.”

There was an odd note to her voice, as if she really didn’t want to talk about the wedding, but before Rose could poke at her for a reason, Liz claimed she had to get to work and they said their goodbyes. She sat in her rocker, mindlessly knitting rows, until she heard the kitchen door open and close. A few seconds later, Andy wandered into the living room.

“There you are,” he said. “Not used to seeing you sit still.”

“Liz called, so I sat down to knit while I talked to her and just kept on sitting.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Good.” She would have said more, but she got sideswiped by a coughing fit. She was definitely coming down with something.

Andy scowled. “You don’t sound good.”

She waved her hand at him. “Probably the cold that went around. I’ll be fine.”

“What are you knitting?”

She held up the length of black she’d knit, showing him the gold stripes across one end. “A scarf for Nick for Christmas. In Bruins colors, of course.”

“I know you really want a grandkid, Rose, but you should probably let Ryan and Lauren figure out what they’re doing before you get too attached to the boy.”

Her hands stilled, holding the needles tight. Mostly she wouldn’t undo all her work by pulling a knitting needle free of the stitches and sticking it in his leg. “I know that. I’m knitting him a scarf, not writing him into the family Bible.”

“I’m just saying—”

“
I’m
just saying that Nick Carpenter works for the lodge now, so I’m knitting him a scarf for Christmas.”

“Okay.” Andy helped himself to a seat on the sofa, which annoyed her. Shouldn’t he be working? “Are you knitting me a scarf, too?”

“No.” She’d been knitting him some fisherman’s mittens, but now she was considering giving them to somebody else. The mailman, maybe.

“You’re a cold woman, Rosie Davis.”

While she ignored his statement, she was actually cold. And tired. Rather than go hunting for her sweater, maybe she’d go curl up under her quilts and take a quick nap. But when she dropped the scarf in the basket next to her chair and stood, she had to stop and cough again.

Andy was at her side in an instant, supporting her. “Maybe you should go see the doctor.”

She scoffed, which wasn’t easy to do when she was so keenly aware of the weight of his arm around her waist. It was Andy Miller, for goodness’ sake. She didn’t even like him. “I’m fine. I’m going to rest for a little while and then whip up a batch of soup.”

After catching her breath, she stepped free of his support—which felt way too much like an embrace—and walked toward the stairs. She managed just fine on her own, but she could swear she felt Andy watching her all the way up.

* * *

“Good afternoon, Demarest Insurance.” Lauren glanced at the clock, counting the minutes. It was Friday and she wanted out. “How can I help you today?”

“Lauren, it’s your father.”

“Hi, Dad.” He refused to call her cell phone because he was afraid she’d answer it while driving and hit a tree. Or so he said whenever she asked him why he wouldn’t just call her cell. “What’s up?”

“Your mother has a cold.”

“There’s one going around.” The silver lining of being too busy to visit her mother recently was not having to feel guilty about being the germ carrier.

“She’s out of her cold medicine. You know the one she likes?”

“I know the one.” She really didn’t have time for this. “I’m leaving here in a few minutes. I’ll get her some and run it over to the house.”

“You’re a good daughter. How’s that grandson of mine? Staying out of trouble?”

“He’s doing really good, actually. Staying out of trouble and doing well in school.”

“If he’s keeping his grades up, I can teach him to drive now, no?”

Lauren winced. Since her father refused to acknowledge the existence of his former son-in-law, that meant it was his job—as the man of the family—to teach Nick how to drive. She hadn’t yet come up with a believable excuse that would save her son from that horrible fate.

Lauren had had to suffer through it and remembered the experience as being a lot more yelling, cursing in Polish and clutching his chest than driving instruction. She was convinced he was the reason her mother refused to learn how to drive. She’d probably had one lesson from her husband and quit the whole thing.