All I Want For Christmas Is A Vampire (11 page)

“On DVN,” Vanda said.

“Digital Vampire Network,” Ian explained. “We get it at the townhouse. But I’m no’ doing the show.”

“Of course you are,” Vanda hissed. “I’ve been working on this for hours. It’s all set.”

“Be careful with Corky Courrant,” Gregori warned.

“Who is she?” Toni asked.

“The star of the show.” Gregori splayed his hands in front of his chest. “She has the most humongous”—Ian elbowed him—“commercials,” Gregori finished.

“Were ye ready to go home?” Ian asked Toni. “I could drive you.”

Vanda grabbed his arm. “You’re not going anywhere. All these women are waiting for their chance to date you.”

“I can teleport Toni,” Gregori offered.

“But she might no’ want to teleport,” Ian protested.

“I’ll be fine.” Toni gave him a reassuring smile. “I can’t wait to see you on TV.”

Ian sighed. Maybe he should go through with it. He didn’t want to disappoint Vanda or Toni. And how bad could it be? “Gregori, can I have a word with you in private?”

“Sure.” Gregori walked away with him. “What’s up?”

“I—uh—thought ye might give me some advice.”

“Are your dates not going well?” Gregori whispered.

“I feel like I’m conducting job interviews. I’m no’ connecting with them.” Not like he did with Toni.

Gregori rested a hand on Ian’s shoulder. “Dude, you can do this. You must have charmed ladies out of a pint of blood every night for several centuries.”

Ian sighed. “I was never verra sophisticated about it. No one expected me to be. I looked so young, even though I felt old inside. And now I look old on the outside, but inside I feel like a green lad. I doona know what to say.”

“You just need to work on your communication skills. First off, practice being a good listener. Women like to talk about their feelings. Even if you think it’s totally boring, nod your head and keep listening.”

“Okay.”

“You should respond with lines like ‘How interesting. Tell me more.’”

“How interesting,” Ian repeated. “Tell me more.”

“That’s it. And here’s another good one. ‘You’re absolutely right. How clever of you.’ Women like to be complimented on their intelligence.”

“Okay.” Ian repeated the lines. “Thank you.” He walked back to the table with Gregori. Vanda had already rushed off to her office.

“Good night, Ian.” Toni smiled shyly.

“Good night, Toni.” God, he wanted to touch her. He wanted to kiss her again.

Gregori slapped him on the back. “Later, dude. Let’s go, Toni.” He led her toward the dance floor.

With a resigned sigh, Ian motioned for the next date to come forward.

“Hi, I’m Amy.”

“Please have a seat.” Ian looked over at Gregori. He was holding Toni close. That was necessary when teleporting with a mortal, but it didn’t make it easier to watch.

“Gosh, when I saw your picture on the Internet, I thought you looked so sexy,” Amy began. “But, I swear, you look even better in person!”

“How interesting,” Ian murmured. “Tell me more.” Damn, Toni was putting her arms around Gregori’s neck.

“You want me to talk about how handsome you are?” Amy asked. “Isn’t that kinda vain?”

“Ye’re absolutely right. How clever of you.”

“You jerk! I’m outta here.” She stalked away.

He groaned. This night from hell would never end.

Toni and Gregori arrived at the back porch of the townhouse, and she used her special key to deactivate the alarm and open the door. He wished her good night, then teleported back to the Horny Devils for more dancing. It was odd, but she’d actually enjoyed herself at the vampire nightclub.

Unlike Ian. He had looked miserable. She hated to admit it, but a part of her rejoiced over his misery. His theory that only a Vamp would understand him was so wrong. Those bimbo bloodsuckers weren’t good enough for him.

She rushed upstairs to her bedroom to get away from the surveillance cameras. She dropped her handbag on the bed and dialed Carlos. “Where are you now?”

“I got back to my apartment about five minutes ago,” he replied. “I’m watching the monitor connected to your camera. It went black for a few seconds.”

“That was teleportation. Does it give us the proof we need?”

“No, it just looked like a camera malfunction. So is this your luxurious bedroom I’m seeing now?”

“Yes.” Toni unclipped the camera from her vest and turned it off.

“Hey!” Carlos objected over the phone. “I want a tour of the house.”

“And I want to go to bed.” She slipped the camera into a dresser drawer. “I’m not sure if I caught any of the Vamps teleporting, because they just popped up without any advance warning. It was very frustrating.” Though not as frustrating as watching those creepy Vamp women throw themselves at Ian.

“I don’t know,” Carlos replied. “I’ll need to review the tape.”

“If it didn’t work, I have another idea.” Toni opened the armoire across from her bed. Inside there was a television that she hadn’t bothered to turn on yet. “The Vamps have their own television network called DVN.”

“Really? What frequency is it on?”

“I don’t know.” She turned on the TV. “This looks like a commercial. Something called Vampos. It’s an after-dinner mint to get rid of blood breath.”

Carlos laughed.

“I’m serious. Now there’s a bat flapping its wings. Underneath it says—DVN, on 24/7 because it’s always nighttime somewhere.”

“Sounds interesting. I’ll try to tap into it.”

“Now there’s a soap opera coming on. As the Vampire Turns. If we get a recording of this, won’t it prove vampires exist?”

“Not really,” Carlos said. “It’s not unusual to have vampire shows on mortal television.”

“But what about the commercials?”

“We see talking lizards and cavemen in commercials all the time. It doesn’t make them real.”

“I beg to differ. I have dated a few cavemen.” She turned the TV off and wondered how Ian was doing. Was he discovering his shimmering, starlit princess? Was she so fabulous, he’d forgotten about the kiss they’d shared?

“Merda,” Carlos muttered. “I don’t think the footage from the club is going to help. Every time you spun toward a teleporting Vamp, the picture blurred.”

“Damn.” How on earth were they going to prove the existence of vampires?

“And I’m afraid we have another problem,” Carlos said. “I found the Proctors’ house.”

“You did? What happened?”

“I talked to the maid, Maria. She’s from Colombia, and thankfully my Spanish is good. She said your phone call made the Proctors really nervous.”

“Oh dear.” Toni tossed her boots in the closet. “Did she say if Sabrina’s okay?”

“She was locked in a bedroom upstairs. Maria saw her twice, said she was asleep both times.”

“I’m afraid her uncle is drugging her.”

“You’re right. Maria said he was giving her Haldol. It’s a strong antipsychotic. Tends to knock people out.”

“This is terrible.” Toni paced across the room.

“It gets worse. By the time I got there, the Proctors had packed up Sabrina and taken her somewhere. Maria said they were talking about a mental hospital.”

“Oh no!” Toni collapsed on the bed. “Why are they doing this?”

“I’m not really sure, but you can bet it has something to do with the money Bri stands to inherit. I’ll find out more tomorrow. I have a date with Maria.”

“A date? But aren’t you—?”

“I’m working undercover,” Carlos said. “The Proctors always give Maria Friday night off ’cause they like to go out. So I’ll convince her to let me into Uncle Joe’s office. Shouldn’t be too hard. She hates him ’cause he pinches her ass whenever his wife isn’t looking.”

“Oh, what a great guy.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow night. Hopefully I can find out which hospital they took Sabrina to.”

“I hope so. Thank you, Carlos.” Toni hung up. Poor Bri. If she was trapped in a mental hospital, she would need to be rescued somehow. Carlos would help.

Toni took a deep breath. She’d failed her grandmother, and the guilt had gnawed at her ever since. She wouldn’t let Sabrina down.

Jedrek Janow lounged in his chair with his feet propped on his desk as he watched DVN. He couldn’t believe the amount of information being thrown about. The newscaster on the Nightly News had actually reported that the Vamps still had no idea where the evil warlord Casimir was located. Jedrek hoped Casimir was watching. He’d love that part about being an evil warlord.

Then a show came on called Live with the Undead, and the buxom hostess announced that Roman Draganesti and his mortal wife were expecting their second child in May.

Jedrek snorted. Why pay spies when he could learn so much for free? Unfortunately, now a stupid soap opera was starting. He turned the television off and set his feet back on the floor. He picked up the photos Yuri had brought the other night and thumbed through them.

A whimpering sound came from the corner of his office. Nadia was still crying.

“Shut up. I can’t concentrate with your sniveling.”

She sniffed. “I miss my friends.”

Of course she did. But the first step in breaking a bitch was isolation. He was making her sit in the corner all night. “Did I say you could talk?”

Tears rolled down her face. “I’m so hungry.”

Of course she was. He’d fed earlier that evening, drinking his full from a captured mortal right here in the office while Nadia had been forced to watch. And go hungry. “I’ve told Yuri to bring me another snack. A blonde. I might let you feed this time.”

“Yes, please.”

“And when you’re done feeding, you will kill the blonde to please me.”

Nadia’s face paled.

“If you want to eat, you’ll have to kill her.”

Her shoulders slumped. “Yes, sir.”

“That’s yes, Master.”

“Oh my gosh,” Toni whispered as she peered through the peephole on the front door.

It was nine A.M. on Friday morning, the appointed arrival time for the babysitters, but Toni doubted the two girls with pink-striped hair were Shanna Draganesti and Gregori’s mother. They banged on the door once again.

Toni punched the intercom. “May I help you?”

“Where’s Ian?” one of the girls demanded. “We tried calling, but all we get is a recording.”

“Yeah,” the second girl agreed. “He says that he’s taken, but we don’t believe it. We want to see him!”

Toni groaned. The message Ian had left on the answering machine wasn’t working. Some of his admirers were resorting to a more desperate tactic. “Please come back tonight.”

“And let the competition get to him first? No way!”

Competition? Toni strode into the living room and peered out the window.

Good grief! There were a dozen more girls pacing up and down the sidewalk. They waved posters in the air. Pick me, Ian! Ian’s so hot! One girl had a sparkly tiara on her head, and her poster read, I’m Ian’s shimmering princess!

“Oh my gosh.” Toni pulled the cell phone from her pocket and called Howard.

“Oh shoot,” he muttered. “They must have gotten the address before Vanda had it removed. We’re almost there. We’ll park in the back. See you in a few minutes.”

“All right.” Toni hung up, then gathered her school stuff in the kitchen.

Soon she heard voices on the back porch. She peeked out the window and saw Howard fiddling with his key. Behind him was an older woman with graying hair and a younger, blonde woman, both loaded down with tote bags. A little boy stood close by.

She turned off the alarm and opened the door. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”

“No problem.” Howard strode into the kitchen and headed straight for the foyer. “I’ll see if I can get rid of those girls out front.”

“Okay.” Toni turned to help the elderly woman put her tote bags on the kitchen table. “You must be Radinka.”

“Thank you, yes.” Radinka took her hand and regarded her curiously. “Interesting,” she murmured.

The pretty blonde deposited her bags on the table. “Hi, I’m Shanna.”

“Nice to meet you.” Toni extended a hand, but Shanna pulled her into a hug.

“I heard how you were attacked the other night.” Shanna patted her on the back. “I’m so glad you’re safe now. Are you all right?”

“Yes.” Toni was surprised by how sweet and…normal Shanna was. Who would ever believe she was the wife of a powerful Undead coven master? And there was an angelic little boy standing close to her.

“This is my son, Constantine.” Shanna ruffled his blonde curls.

Toni leaned over. “Hi, Constantine.”

He smiled, then buried his face in his mother’s coat.

The older woman chuckled. “He won’t be so shy once he gets to know you. Gregori told me he met you last night. He was very impressed with your dancing.”

Toni laughed. “He’s a lot of fun.”

“Yes.” Radinka’s eyes narrowed. “But I do not believe he is the one destined for you, my dear.”

Toni blinked. “I—I’m not looking for anyone—”

Shanna touched her arm. “Don’t worry. Radinka’s always trying to match people up.”

Radinka snorted. “There’s no trying to it. I can see when two hearts belong together.” She pointed to her temple. “I’m psychic, you know.”

“Oh. That’s nice.” Toni didn’t know what else to say.

“It doesn’t take a psychic to know a bored child will be a problem.” Radinka moved one of her tote bags to the floor. “So we brought the little one some toys.”

Constantine rummaged through the bag, removed a big picture book, then wiggled onto a kitchen chair. “I want to learn how to read.”

“That’s wonderful.” Toni smiled at him, and he smiled shyly back, his cheeks dimpling.

“Uncle Connor said you were nice. He said you know how to kick a—”

“Whoa, Uncle Connor talks too much.” Shanna removed her coat, then turned to her son. “Let’s get you out of that jacket.”

While Shanna hung up jackets on the hooks by the back door, Radinka unloaded groceries from the remaining bags on the table.

“We weren’t sure if you had enough food here.” Radinka set a carton of milk in the fridge, then grabbed the kettle from the stove. “I’ll make everyone a nice cup of tea.”

Constantine eyed the bags of fruit still on the table. “Can I have a banana?”

“Here you go, sweetie.” Shanna handed him one, then stashed the bags in the fridge.

Toni was about to offer Constantine some help when she realized he didn’t need it. He peeled the banana, then bit off a piece while he studied his book.

He pointed at a word. “Is this house?”

She peered over his shoulder. “Yes, it is.” What a bright little boy he was. She wondered if he was Shanna’s from a previous relationship. Surely Vamp men weren’t able to have children. “Thank you for coming today.”

“We were happy to.” Shanna hooked the empty tote bags on the pegs with their coats. “A delivery man’s bringing a tree around noon. We always decorate one for the guards.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” With all the turmoil in her life, Toni had forgotten that Christmas was coming soon.

Radinka set out three cups and saucers on the counter. “We saw those women out front with their posters. I can’t believe they’re behaving so silly.”

“Yeah.” Toni sat next to Constantine. “It’s crazy.”

Shanna shook her head. “Poor Ian. I heard he really had to suffer to get his older looks.”

Radinka made tsking noises as she placed a teabag in each cup. “Gregori told me he’s doing a television interview tonight with Corky Courrant.”

Shanna made a face. “That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Why?” Toni asked.

Shanna bit her lip, considering. “I should leave Ian a note, begging him not to do it. Is he in the basement?”

“No, he outgrew his coffin. He’s on the fifth floor.” Toni winced. “In your husband’s bedroom.”

Shanna laughed. “Well, looks like I’ll get some exercise. Be right back.” She strode from the kitchen.

Toni was tempted to go with her. She’d seen Ian only once this morning, right before calling in her eight o’clock report. She’d risen at six-thirty A.M. and was having breakfast in the kitchen when Phineas and Dougal had come in for a bedtime snack before retiring to the basement. She’d hoped to see Ian, but he’d gone straight up to the fifth floor without stopping by to see her.

Why had he not wanted to talk to her? She was a bit worried that he’d actually hit it off with one of those fifty Vamps he’d dated last night.

The kettle whistled, and Toni jerked back to the present. She had to stop thinking about Ian so much.

Howard strode into the kitchen. “Those women are psycho! One of them hit me with a poster when I told her Ian wasn’t here.”

Toni winced. “Sorry. They do seem awfully determined.”

Radinka handed Howard a cup of tea. “Such nonsense. Are they still there?”

“I got them to leave, but I’m afraid they’ll come back.” Howard drank some tea. “I’d better check on the guys. Is Ian still on the fifth floor?”

“Shanna’s already on her way up there.” Radinka set a cup of tea in front of Toni.

“I’ll start in the basement then.” Howard gulped down the rest of his tea, then left the room grumbling about crazy women.

“Is this truck?” Constantine looked up at Toni, then pointed at another word.

She glanced at his book. “Yes, it is.” He had finished his banana. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Can I have some milk?”

“Sure.” Toni hunted through the cabinets, but couldn’t find any plastic cups. She’d have to give him a glass. She set it in front of him, and he drank without hesitation.

She sat next to him. “How old are you, about four?”

He grinned with a milk mustache. “I’m almost two.”

Toni gaped, then shut her mouth quickly since she didn’t want to embarrass the little boy. “You’re…sure?”

“He’ll be two in March.” Radinka added some milk to her tea. “He’s very clever, isn’t he?”

More than clever, Toni thought. He was a wonder child.

“Is Toni with us?” Constantine asked.

Radinka tilted her head, considering Toni. “She may not know it yet, but I believe she is.”

What did that mean? Toni sipped her tea with a growing sense of confusion.

“Do you want to see what I can do?” Constantine backed away from the table and spun around.

“That’s great!” Toni smiled appreciatively.

He gave her a dubious look. “I haven’t done it yet.”

“Oh, sorry.” Toni’s mouth dropped open as the young boy slowly rose to the ceiling. “Oh my gosh.”

Radinka sat at the table with her cup of tea. “He’s very special.”

“I’m back.” Shanna strode into the kitchen. She picked up her cup of tea and glanced around the room. “Where’s Tino?”

A giggle from the ceiling drew her attention, and Shanna snorted. “I should have known.” She gave Toni a wry look. “I’ve been trying to teach him to clean the ceiling fans.”

“He—he’s floating,” Toni said lamely.

Constantine giggled and performed a front somersault.

“Oh, now you’re just showing off.” Shanna sipped some tea. “You should see him and his daddy play basketball.”

“I blocked Daddy’s goal by sitting in the hoop,” Constantine boasted.

“He—he’s really Roman’s son?” Toni asked. “How—?”

“Roman’s a genius. Don’t ask me how, but he inserted his DNA into human sperm.” Shanna patted her stomach. “We’re expecting another one in May. A little girl.”

“Oh. Congratulations.” Toni watched Constantine float down to the floor. She couldn’t believe it. Shanna and Radinka were sipping tea like it was entirely normal to breed half-human/half-vampire children.

“Did you ask if it was okay before you levitated?” Shanna asked her son.

“Yes, Mommy.” He climbed back onto his chair.

“That’s good.” Shanna sat across from him. “We’ve been teaching him to be careful about levitating. It’s not something we want just anyone to see.”

“Like Grandpa.” Constantine drank more milk.

“I’m afraid so,” Shanna agreed. “My dad is the head of the CIA Stake-Out team. They’d like to eliminate all vampires from the planet.”

Toni winced. “That’s got to be a little awkward for family reunions.”

“Tell me about it. Fortunately, my dad’s crazy about his grandson, so he’s ignoring the Vamps and concentrating on the Malcontents. But if he found out that Tino’s inherited some unusual genes, it could cause a problem.”

The little boy slumped over his book. “Would Grandpa not love me anymore?”

“Oh, sweetie.” Shanna rushed over to hug her son. “He’ll always love you. We all love you so much.”

“We sure do.” Radinka’s eyes glimmered with emotion as she regarded the little boy.

Toni felt a tiny twinge of envy. How lucky this boy was to be so loved. She’d always wanted her mother’s love, but it had never happened. Her mom had gone on to marry the man of her dreams and have two more children. Toni had never been welcome there. Her only experience with maternal love had been from her grandmother, and that had ended abruptly when she was thirteen. When she had failed her.

When Toni had first entered the Vamp world a few nights ago, she had expected to find a scary place filled with creepy characters. Instead she’d found a group of Vamps and mortals who were caring and compassionate. It was obvious that they looked out for one another. Shanna had run up five flights of stairs just to leave Ian a note.

Was she with them? That was the question Constantine had asked. With a small shock, Toni realized she could be an accepted member of this extended family—a family that cared for one another and trusted one another. She could be a part of it all. Never rejected again. Never made to feel like she wasn’t good enough.

It was so…tempting. But alarming, too, for she already had her life planned out with Sabrina. Sabrina was her family, not these people in the Vamp world. As soon as the mess with Sabrina was resolved, Toni could leave the Vamp world forever. Two days ago she’d been eager to leave. Now she was starting to feel…wanted. And valued. For the first time, she realized she was getting pulled in two different directions.

“Are you all right, dear?” Radinka asked.

“I—I’d better go.” She glanced at the clock over the kitchen sink. “My final starts in an hour.”

Constantine placed his small hand on her arm. “You’ll be okay, Toni.”

Her arm tingled as a surge of warm energy rushed from the little boy’s hand. She stiffened, then immediately relaxed as the energy washed over her with a soothing gentleness. Her tension melted away, leaving a sense of well-being and a feeling that she could accomplish anything.

She looked at the little boy, and he smiled back. There was an intelligence in his bright blue eyes that should have been frightening in a child so young, but she felt too relaxed to be concerned. Constantine radiated goodness, so she knew there was no need to be afraid.

He withdrew his hand and focused his attention back on his picture book. Toni gathered her things and said her good-byes. As she walked to the subway station, the little boy’s question kept repeating in her mind. Is Toni with us? How deep was she getting sucked into this new world? Would it be hard to give it up when she left? Not so hard, if they completely wiped her memory. But how could she give up the memory of Constantine and the others?

How could she give up ever seeing Ian again?

That evening, Toni was celebrating the end of her college education with a big bowl of triple chocolate ice cream on top of a double chocolate brownie, when Ian walked in.

“Good evening.”

He’d caught her with her mouth full. She gulped. “Hi.”

He opened his mouth to speak, then apparently changed his mind. He wandered to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of blood. He hesitated, then placed it back in.

“Not hungry?” She scooped more ice cream into her mouth.

“I already ate.” He paced across the room, his kilt swishing about his knees.

“Did you see the Christmas tree in the parlor? It’s very pretty. Shanna and Constantine decorated it.”

“Aye, it’s nice.” He continued to pace.