All or Nothing (8 page)

‘Until recently no’ she whispers ‘do you
want me to break up with Mike?’ she utters suddenly.

‘No! Absolutely not Bella why would you say
that? Will you do me one favor though?’ I request.

‘Sure’ she regards me expectantly.

‘Don’t discuss me and Grant with Mike. 
Don’t taint your relationship with our drama’

‘Ok’ she glances at her fingers, ‘I haven’t
taken his calls today’ she admits.

‘Bella, no! Go talk mush to your man’ I instruct,
‘this has nothing to do with you and Mike he seems like a great guy go enjoy
your relationship please’ I plead and she nods rises from the sofa and enters
into her room.

It would have been better if I hadn’t seen
him again and we hadn’t relived our passion merely had the glorious memories of
Vegas.  I think I am in lust with him, I have never wanted anyone physically as
much as I want him he is a drug to me.  He lied to me, he acted as if he was
available to have a sexual relationship with me and in the sidelines was a
fiancé!

Bella returns as the credits are playing,
‘you ok?’ I enquire.

‘Mike never knew Abi I promise you’ her
eyes are wary.

‘I thought we agreed you were not going to
discuss us!’ I stress.

‘It had to be approached right now for my benefit,
from now on in we will remain out of it’ she assures me, ‘I cannot be with a
man that allows such behavior around the people I love’ she frowns at me, ‘I
promise we didn’t know’

‘Ok, it doesn’t matter forget it I have he
will never have the opportunity to hurt me again’ I assure her.

‘From what I gather he isn’t prepared to
give up’ she informs me quietly.

‘Well the fact that he has a fiancé blurs
the picture slightly don’t you thing?’ I raise an eyebrow.

‘Well he denies she is his fiancé’ she
informs me.

‘Really Bell’ I hold a hand up ‘I don’t
wish to know’

Bella tenses her jaw as if she wishes to
speak but stops herself.

I find myself at work earlier than usual all
week refusing to leave until way after everyone else welcoming the
distraction.  I am happiest when I am busiest.  My boss is impressed and
mentions the fact that he recognizes that I am working above his expectations
of me.

I am hurt, more so than with Scott purely
because I placed my trust in Grant and our….whatever it was. I felt it I was
there I had faith in our feelings.  I will never trust in those feelings ever
again I have built a wall around my heart.

Bella and Mike are adorable and so into
each other, she attempts to hide it without success I have never experienced
this side of Bella during the whole of our entire friendship and to be honest I
cannot blame her Mike is a sweetheart.  If I wasn’t so screwed up with Grant I
would be a little envious of Bella.

I continue throwing myself into work
ignoring all the invites to go out at every opportunity, there was no point as
far as I was concerned.

‘Please come out Abi’ begs Bella.

‘No’

‘Why are you being so stubborn?  Just a bar
and a drink? You have to get out of the house other than at work’

‘I am not interested, anyway where is Mike
tonight?’ I reply.

‘Work stuff, please Abi we haven’t been out
for ages.  Just us girls’

I sigh, ‘just a few drinks no clubbing?’

‘Absolutely’ she grins aware she has worn
me down.

We step into the bar and Bella’s phone
rings, ‘Hi baby’ she sings into the mobile.  I roll my eyes and approach the
bar.

‘Two Margaritas please’ I inform the barman
and turn to inspect our surroundings.  I wasn’t feeling the whole dress thing
tonight instead choosing to wear my skin tight shiny leggings with a white
willowy blouse and black patent shoe boots.  Bella had curled my brown hair
into wavy curls over one shoulder and I had applied my regular eyeliner and
mascara with a little lip gloss.  I had zero interest in this evening but urged
on by Bella who was dressed in another minute dress barely covering her backside
in light grey.

‘Sorry about that’ she calls as she seats
herself on one of the bar stools ‘Mike’ as though I wasn’t aware.

‘Everything ok?’ I test.

‘Yes all fine.  So, what do we think of
this one?’

‘It’s a bit dark don’t you think?’ I inform
her.

‘That’s probably the dark cloud that’s
following you’ she teases softening the comment with a smile.

‘Very funny’ I grin.

‘It is a bit dark, maybe not for what I
have in mind’ she assesses the area before lifting her drink, ‘to best friends’
she clinks my glass and I smile.

An hour later I am bored, ‘how about a
shot?’ I suggest, ‘I am not feeling this place Bella’ we have had a couple of
drinks and the atmosphere in the bar is poor.  The staff are unmotivated and
moving about checking the clock for when their shifts end.

‘One shot then we move on’ she insists
signaling to the barman ‘two tequilas please’

My head is muzzy from the shot and
cocktails as we enter into the second bar, we are definitely tipsy as I am
smiling. ‘Wow, I haven’t seen that for a while’ Bella slurs linking her arm to
mine.

‘And you probably won’t again my friend’ I
giggle as we move to the bar ordering another two cocktails.  This bar is
buzzing and music is thumping Bella grabs me and moves us to the dance floor
where we begin to move in rhythm to the music. 

We move back towards the bar area and flop
down on the bar stools, ‘that was more like the old Abigail’ Bella pants
flicking her blonde locks over her shoulder.

Two men appear at the bar beside us one
turning to smile at me as he calls the bartender over, ‘two beers and ladies?’
he smiles towards us ‘drink?’

‘No thank you’ I wave a hand away politely.

‘Sure!’ Bella calls ‘two tequilas please
gentleman’ and I throw her a frown which deters her none.

‘So, what are you names?’ the dark haired
one enquires his eyes searching my face.

‘I am Bella, this is Abigail’ she points to
me.

‘I am David, this is Andrew. Pleased to
meet you ladies’ he smiles an attractive smile my way as the bartender places the
shots next to us.  He is tall, broad and dark with bright blue eyes that appear
warm and friendly.  Both the guys appear genuinely charming and I begin to
relax as we sit and chat.  Bella and I are pretty inebriated grinning like
idiots at the stories that the guys are informing us of, they are family
lawyers and are full of extremely funny anecdotes. 

‘So’ David enquires ‘can I take you out
sometime Abi?’

‘I am not really dating at the moment David
but thank you’ and I mean it, David seems an absolutely lovely guy but I would
hurt him and I wouldn’t wish to do that.

‘Just a drink?’ he smiles and I shake my
head ‘tell you what’ he hands me his business card ‘call me whenever, no
pressure’ and I accept the card placing it in my bag.

‘Thank you for the drinks’ I mumble and he
leans down and kisses my cheek.

‘You are welcome, call me’ he demands
gently.

We arrive home at 1am and the room is
swaying, I fill a glass with water and gulp it down eager for the spinning
inside my head to cease.

‘See you had a good time’ Bella calls from
the sofa where she has crashed curled into a ball.

‘I did, thank you Bell’ I murmur refilling
my glass.

‘That David was in to you’ she mumbles
sleepily.

‘He was a nice guy’ I reply ‘I am not
interested in men at the moment Bella’ silence, I believe Bella has conked
out!  I cover her with a blanket and flop into my own bed.

********

I smell coffee and groan, why do I always
order Tequilas when I am perfectly aware of how they affect me the next day?  I
delicately turn and finish my glass of water sitting on the bedside cabinet
before swinging my legs off of the bed, the clock signals 9.27am.  I am naked
but for my briefs so grab a robe and move in the direction of the coffee.

Bella is curled up on the sofa once again
only this time she has her onesie on, ‘oh my god Abi’ she groans ‘why oh why do
we put ourselves through this?’

‘Coffee’ I croak as I bypass her to the
kitchen and pour myself a mug returning to curl up on the opposite end laying
my achy head against the sofa.

She chuckles ‘good night though’

‘Hmmmm’ I cannot string two words together.

‘So you going to call that David guy?’ she
enquires.

‘No’ I reply yawning ‘not interested’

‘He was attractive’ she reminds me.

‘Yes he was and a true gentleman, he
wouldn’t screw me on a desk’

Bella laughs out loud, ‘that’s the problem
I take it’

I chuckle quietly the sound reverberating
through my head, ‘ouch’

Bella’s phone rings and she glances at it
before answering with ‘hi baby’ and I groan, she grins and raises slowly moving
to her room.  After my coffee I move to the shower and rinse away the night
before shampooing my hair and brushing my teeth, I am going to my parents today
for dinner with the hang over from hell.

********

Monday evening I am eating a jacket potato
when my phone rings, I don’t recognize the number but answer it regardless,
‘hello’

‘Hi’ a voice murmurs and my stomach drops
‘Abi? Please don’t put the phone down’

‘What do you want Grant?’ I growl
regretting my decision to delete his number when we returned from Vegas.

‘To talk, to explain’ he pleads ‘why won’t
you give me a chance to clarify my actions?’

‘Exactly what do you think you could say
that would justify your behavior? It is plain, you screwed me then introduced
me to your fiancé!’

‘She isn’t my fiancé’ he expresses ‘listen
it is complicated can we meet?’

‘No’ I reply simply.

He sighs before enquiring, ‘so you going
out with this guy you met the other night?’ his voice is tight.

‘What?’ I am dumbstruck ‘that is none of
your business Grant, I am a single woman’

‘Are you?’ he demands.

‘Screw you’ I end the call my heart
thumping out of my chest.  Bella! She must have informed Mike that we met a
couple of guys and he has told tales out of school.  I call Bella’s number, ‘hi
Hun’ she answers.

‘Bella, I thought we agreed’ my voice is
low and stern.

‘What?’ she queries.

‘Grant has called me enquiring as to
whether I am dating the guy I met the other night’ I wait as the silence
lengthens.

‘I will call you back’ she ends the call, I
am fuming can I not trust Bella now?  It doesn’t take me long to realize how
unreasonable I am being Bella is in love and was probably just sharing with
Mike our night out. I sigh before sending a text to Bella,

Sorry I am being unreasonable, take no
notice of me x

I don’t receive any reply so I assume that
poor Mike is getting a thorough telling off.  I rub my hands over my face
regretting my irrational behavior.

When Bella and Mike appear an hour later I
feel regretful that I even called Bella before I put things into perspective. 

‘Hi’ I smile towards Mike who appears
angry.

‘Hi, we need to talk’ Mike sits beside me
as Bella moves to the fridge and pours three glasses of wine.

‘I am sorry Mike, I shouldn’t drag you into
this’ I apologize.

‘No, you shouldn’t Abi but neither should
Grant.  I not only work for Grant so he is one of my best friends it is
extremely hard for me to be in this position. Bella is my girlfriend and we
shouldn’t have to censor what we discuss’ Bella places the wine on the table
and sits on the floor against Mike’s legs.

‘I realize that, it won’t happen again’ I
promise as tears fill behind my eyes.

‘Why don’t you sit and discuss things with
Grant’ he pleads ‘he is a good guy nothing like this perception you have of
him’

I shake my head as a tear escapes and Mike
pulls me into his arms ‘don’t cry Abi’ he soothes and Bella moves to sit the
other side stroking my back.  I am embarrassed but am powerless against the
emotions that are sizzling through my body, ‘I can’t talk to him he has a
fiancé there isn’t anything else to discuss’

‘There is believe me, it isn’t my place to discuss
Grant’s business with you but you need a conversation even if it allows you to
move on in your lives.  I have never seen Grant like this Abi and I have known
him a long time, something is eating him up’

I sit up and nod dashing away my tears,
‘ok’ maybe I need closure to move on ‘can you arrange something? I don’t want
to feel like this anymore I am a mess’ he glances at Bella before nodding his
head and hands me a glass of wine.

I don’t trust either of us alone in our
flat so instruct Mike to set up a meeting somewhere public, I receive a call
from Bella whilst at work informing me that Grant will meet me on Friday
evening in a bar near my work.