All The Little Moments (13 page)

An hour or so in, Anna stood to get another drink, and Kym clambered over people’s laps to join her. As they stood at the bar waiting to order, Kym swayed,
watching her.

“What?”

Kym
shrugged. “Nothing.”

Laughing, Anna ordered their
drinks. “Okay.”

“It’s just…” Kym leant forward as if to whisper, still talking at the same volume regardless, “...you. And Lane. It makes
me happy.”

“Nothing’s happened.”

“Oh, please. It may not
have
 
yet
.”

Anna paid, handing Kym her whisky and picking up the two wine glasses. “It may not at
all, Kym.”

Kym had stopped dead and put her glass down in her mission to do up the zip and button combination of her handbag, something she was failing at miserably. “What do
you mean?”

“She doesn’t know about the kids, Kym.” Anna leant against
the bar.

Visibly relaxing, Kym waved her hand. “So? Lots of people with kids date. You’re allowed to date. Kids aren’t a chastity belt.” She paused. “Most of
the time.”

“The kids need attention. I barely have enough time with
work, and—”

Kym grabbed her by the shoulders. “Anna. Shut up. Get laid.
Have fun.”

“Um—”

“No.” Kym shook her head, squeezing Anna’s arms to keep her balance more than anything. “One of us needs to. I’m horny as hell, but I miss my husband. I’m all emotionally traumatised and stuff. You’re allowed to have a life. Your brother wouldn’t have wanted you to suffer because of this. He’d want the kids happy, but he’d want you
happy, too.”

“What about
your happiness?”

Flippantly giving a wave of her hand, Kym went back to her handbag. “One day. It’s been six months, and he’s still all I think about.” She raised her hands up triumphantly when she got one button done, then realised it was through the wrong hole.
“Damn it.”

Smiling affectionately, Anna watched her struggle. On a whim, she gave Kym a
quick hug.

Eyeing Anna suspiciously, Kym gave up on her buttons. “What was
that for?”

“Nothing. I just like that I met you. We can talk. It’s nice.” Maybe the wine had gone to
her head.

The emphatic nod Kym gave looked like it might send her off balance. “Me too. You’re a good find, even if you’re also emotionally scarred. Maybe because
of it.”

With a laugh, Anna picked up the wine glasses and led the way to their table where Lane was loudly debating the necessity of extra nurses with their boss. She slid one of the glasses in front of her and blinked at it,
then grinned.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Just as she slid into her seat, Lane
stood up.

“Toilet break.” She turned and walked away, looking back over her shoulder to catch Anna watching
her again.

“Seriously, follow her.” Kym had one eye half-closed as she gave
the order.

“What?”

“Go, follow her. You’ve been eye-fucking all night! Go do something
about it.”

“What? We have not!” Anna
protested indignantly.

The loud snort Tess gave shut Anna up. “Oh, please, some of those looks even made
me
squirm.”

Sliding an arm over Anna’s shoulder, Kym slurred, “I don’t know what’s holding you back, but woman, go
follow her.”

“The kids.”

“Do something
for you.”

Anna stared at her for a minute. Maybe she
was right.

Tess sighed loudly. “Go, or I’ll ensure you’re stuck with every intern wanting to learn anaesthetics for the next month. I
know people.”

“Mean.
I’m new.”

“Don’t care.”

With a resigned shake of her head, Anna stood up to walk quickly after Lane. Her hand rested against the handle of the bathroom door for a second as she took in a deep breath,
then exhaled.

She pushed
it open.

Lane was just walking out of a cubicle and grinned as she moved across to wash
her hands.

Anna smiled back, unsure of what her next step
should be.

Drying her hands on a paper towel before throwing it in the bin, Lane positioned herself against the sink and crossed her
arms. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Anna’s heart was pounding in her ears, and she had no idea why. She swallowed. “I, uh, I think it’s only fair, to tell you something; though it’s really tempting
not to.”

Lane’s
grin softened.

“You don’t know everything about me,”
Anna began.

Lane chuckled, stepping forward. “No one knows everything about a person—that’s why you do things like go out to
dinner, chat…?”

Anna returned the smile but stayed against the door as Lane took a few more small steps forward, arms
still crossed.

“That’s true. But some things, you should know beforehand. Like, if I was leaving the country in a month, I’d have to give you
a heads-up.”

Lane’s confusion was evident. “Uh, okay.
Are you?”

“What? No. Not leaving the country.” Anna tapped her fingers against the cold door, more nervous about this than she wanted
to be.

Only a tiny distance separated them now, and Anna tried to ignore the urge to grab her so she could finish what she started. “Just—there’s some things, in my life. It’s,
uh, complicated.”

“Everyone’s
complicated, Anna.”

Taking a breath, Anna closed her eyes from a moment in frustration. She was terrified Lane would see it all as too much, and run. And she was terrified that this terrified her. She hardly knew Lane, really. Yet not telling didn’t seem right. Her
eyes opened.

And what if she did blow it? What if Lane ran? Anna wouldn’t blame her. Hayley had run. Anna might have, had their positions been reversed. Hell, she had wanted to and it was
her
niece and nephew. Sometimes, she still
wanted to.

Her eyes locked on Lane’s. Without thinking anymore, Anna slid forward to close the last small gap between them. The scent of Lane’s perfume surrounded her, and her cheeks were flushed from the wine. Lane’s eyes darted to Anna’s mouth and back up again. She bit subtly at her bottom lip, the gesture drawing Anna’s attention directly to her mouth. If Lane was going to run, Anna wanted something to remember her by. The gap closed completely as Anna pressed her lips
to Lane’s.

The kiss was supposed to be simple. Chaste. But then, Lane’s hands came up to gently cup her cheeks, and Anna pressed her body flush against Lane’s, hands on her waist. She pressed her lips harder against Lane’s, giving in to the sensation. Their lips parted, and she felt Lane’s tongue flick against her own and
almost groaned.

For a month, Anna had closed herself off. She had tried that entire time to be what she needed to be for the kids. Whenever she had felt overwhelmed, she’d taken a breath and clamped it down. Whenever she’d felt anything at all lately, she had clamped
it down.

As Lane’s tongue slid against her own, Anna felt that thing inside that held it all down shift. Her fingers gripped at Lane’s dress, pulling them tighter together. Lane responded, hands slipping up to wrap in Anna’s hair. Their mouths moved slowly,
tongues languid.

It was intense and a little sloppy, and it tasted like wine, and it
was perfect.

They parted, both slightly breathless, and Anna leant her forehead against Lane’s, hands still grasping
her close.

“Wow.” The sound of Lane’s low, husky voice made heat settle deep in Anna’s stomach.

“Yeah.” Her own voice sounded much
the same.

“Was that what you wanted to tell me? Because you can tell me that anytime you
want to.”

Anna couldn’t help but chuckle at the charming grin Lane threw at her. “No, that wasn’t it. That
just happened.”

“Again, really, that can happen
any time.”

Suddenly feeling cold, Anna stepped back. “I’d like that to happen
any time.”

Lane was looking intently at her again, head tilted. “What
is it?”

She took another step and, breaking eye contact with Lane, Anna created more space. With her back against the door and Lane in front of her, watching her expectantly, she felt caged in. Couldn’t she just go back to kissing Lane? To keeping this as her fun,
flirty escape?

“I come with
a catch.”

“You
 
are
 
a catch.”

Anna actually laughed this time. “And you’re too smooth.” She crossed her arms again, wishing the wine was making this easier. Lane’s lips were red, swollen from the kiss, and Anna just wanted to lean forward and get lost in her again. “You know Ella? And I’ve mentioned my
nephew, Toby?”

Lane nodded,
still playful.

Rip it off like a Band-Aid, Anna.
“My brother, Jake, died over a month ago, with my sister-in-law, in a car accident. They named me the kids’ guardian. I…uh, they’re kind
of, mine.”

The smile faded from Lane’s lips. She blinked in surprise, her mouth dropped
partly open.

Anna hovered for a minute and then, after a beat of silence, decided she couldn’t take seeing Lane turn away. She turned on the spot and fled
the bathroom.

Anna had said his name. And it had hurt, had caught at her gut and made her feel almost ill. And now, after an incredibly amazing kiss, she’d gone and scared Lane off. Anna walked out quickly, swinging by the table to grab
her jacket.

Kym looked up at her in surprise. “How’d it go? Thought you’d be in there for ages. I’ve been fielding the door.” She tried to give a wink that ended up as a
drunken blink.

“Um…fine. I gotta run. I’ll see
you later.”

Grateful that everyone was now a little too drunk to really pay attention, Anna escaped out the door. The cool air hit her burning cheeks as she pulled on her jacket. With no real thought as to where she was going, she turned left and powered down the street. Breathing heavily, irritated at herself, she
walked blindly.

She’d kissed Lane, blurted out something huge, then turned and ran. And now she was alone in the street, a little drunk, and God, she wanted to talk to her brother about it all. Or to Sally. All she wanted was to call them and have them pass the phone back and forth between them, alternating between teasing her and offering advice. Jake would be calling her a coward right now. Sally would slap him on the head, steal the phone, and laugh down the line as she said,
“Not coward
,
 exactly, Anna, more...cautious.” 
And Jake would be yelling in the
background,
“Coward!”

She missed
his laugh.

Anna used to call them when she got home from work, and Sally would answer, and both would drink a glass of wine while they caught up. Jake would eventually steal the phone, and the two of them would chat for ages, each other’s confidante, a constant since they
were children.

And right now? She missed that more than anything. Her throat was burning, and she bit back tears. She wanted to talk to her brother. She wanted to have a simple life, one in which when she met Lane, they could fall into bed together and never turn back. Though, if the damn accident hadn’t happened, she’d be with Hayley. So what did she really want? Anna didn’t
know anymore.

“Anna!”

She spun at the sound of
her name.

Lane pulled up in front of her, out of breath and concerned, eyes searching Anna’s face. “Why did
you leave?”

Anna wrapped her arms around herself. “Uh, I don’t know.” She really didn’t. In hindsight, it was a little dramatic. “Your face,
you looked—”

“Surprised? Shocked?” Lane stepped forward, hands coming up to rest on Anna’s shoulders as if to hold her in place. “I was. That—that is just, horrible. For you. And for those kids. To lose your brother, and their dad. Their mum.” Lane shook her head. “God—how have you been coping? All your lives have been turned completely
upside down.”

Anna swallowed over a lump in her throat and gave a
tiny shrug.

“Why did
you leave?”

Anna didn’t trust herself
to speak.

Lane was watching her with wide, concerned eyes, and the feelings in Anna’s throat were going to choke her. More forcefully than intended, she kissed Lane. With her eyes still closed, she pulled back, afraid to open them and give
herself away.

“Anna, open
your eyes.”

After a moment she did, and a tear slipped onto her cheek. Lane reached up to brush it away, her thumb gentle on
Anna’s skin.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? Because you ran away, or for the tears? You’re not allowed to apologise
for tears.”

“Um, for both.” Lane’s hands were resting against Anna’s neck, while her own hands clenched Lane’s jacket. “I, uh, I thought it might be too much. The kids, all this baggage. My brother.” Her voice hitched slightly over the last word, and she took in a deep breath and let it
out slowly.

Lane’s voice was soft. “You’re
an idiot.”

The laugh trapped inside Anna’s body came out almost like a sob. “Can you blame me?” She looked down. “Did I mention my girlfriend left because of
the kids?”

Lane ducked her head to catch Anna’s eye. Her voice was soft. “Well, she’s an idiot. Can’t say I’m sad though. That means you’re
definitely single.”