All the Presidents' Pets (19 page)

Macaroni the pony was a gift from LBJ to Caroline.

LYNDON BAINES JOHNSON

As Senate majority leader, LBJ had Little Beagle Johnson. “It's cheaper if we all have the same monogram,” he said. For a while after the dog's death, the president stored his ashes over the refrigerator.

Him and Her the beagles made the cover of
Life
magazine when the president picked them up by the ears. Her died after swallowing a rock. Him was run over after chasing a squirrel.

Edgar the beagle was a gift from J. Edgar Hoover.

Blanco the white collie urinated on an Alexander Calder sculpture on loan from New York's Museum of Modern Art.

Yuki the mongrel was discovered by daughter Luci at a Texas gas station on Thanksgiving. Yuki was fond of Upton Sinclair and was present for the signing of the Wholesome Meat Act. He outlived the president.

RICHARD NIXON

Checkers the Cocker Spaniel, the most famous of Nixon's dogs, was a vice-presidential dog. Rumors that he would be exhumed from his Long Island grave and reburied in Yorba Linda after the death of the president in 1994 turned out to be just rumors. (If this changes anytime soon, I'll be sure to address it in paperback.)

King Timahoe the Irish setter, Vicky the French poodle, and Pasha the Yorkshire terrier are the forgotten presidential pooches.

GERALD FORD

Liberty the Golden retriever was a surprise gift from White House photographer David Kennerly and provided endless enjoyment to the thirty-eighth President. One of her pups, Jerry, became a guide dog for the blind.

JIMMY CARTER

Grits the mutt was a gift from daughter Amy's teacher. He refused to be housebroken and once tore loose from his muzzle when a vet tried to vaccinate him during Heartworm Awareness Week. He was eventually returned to the teacher.

The “killer rabbit” vs. nutria debate continues to this day.

RONALD REAGAN

Lucky the Bouvier des Flandres sheepdog stopped by Chief of Staff Don Regan's office for doughnuts every morning and grew to over eighty pounds. Regan's nemesis Nancy Reagan was soon unable to handle him, and the dog was exiled to Santa Barbara. (Was Regan intentionally sabotaging Nancy's relationship with Lucky? I'm not a conspiracy theorist.)

Rex the King Charles spaniel lived in a lavish white clapboard doghouse with a shingle roof, red curtains, and pictures of Ron and Nancy. The house was designed by Theo Hayes, the great-great-granddaughter-in-law of President Hayes.

GEORGE H.W. BUSH

Millie Kerr the springer spaniel's memoirs outsold the President's. She was voted ugliest dog by
Washingtonian
magazine. She and C. Fred Bush birthed six puppies.

BILL CLINTON

Buddy the chocolate Lab's death was ruled an accident and no charges were made against seventeen-year-old Halie Ritterman, driver of the car that hit him.

Socks the cat still resides with Clinton secretary Betty Currie.

GEORGE W. BUSH

Spot the springer spaniel, son of Millie, died in February 2004.

India the cat still lives, though India refused to join the Coalition of the Willing.

Barney the Scottie currently holds office.

For further information, check out Niall Kelly's
Presidential Pets.

Endnotes

 

Chapter 7

 
^1.
From “Going for Broke” by Paul Krugman,
The New York Times,
January 20, 2004, Tuesday, Late Edition—Final, Section A, Page 19, Column 6, Editorial Desk.

 
^2.
From “The Awful Truth” by Paul Krugman,
The New York Times,
January 13, 2004, Tuesday, Late Edition—Final, Section A, Page 25, Column 6, Editorial Desk.

 
^3.
From “The Real Thing” by Paul Krugman,
The New York Times,
August 20, 2002, Tuesday, Late Edition—Final, Section A, Page 19, Column 6, Editorial Desk.

 
^4.
From “The China Syndrome” by Paul Krugman,
The New York Times,
September 5, 2003, Friday, Late Edition—Final, Section A, Page 19, Column 1, Editorial Desk.

 
^5.
From “Who Gets It?” by Paul Krugman,
The New York Times,
January 16, 2004, Friday, Late Edition—Final, Section A, Page 21, Column 1, Editorial Desk.

 
^6.
From “Enron and the System” by Paul Krugman,
The New York Times,
January 9, 2004, Friday, Late Edition—Final, Section A, Page 19, Column 1, Editorial Desk.

 
^7.
From “Waggy Dog Stories” by Paul Krugman,
The New York Times,
May 30, 2003, Friday, Late Edition—Final, Section A, Page 27, Column 1, Editorial Desk.

Chapter 18

 
^8.
Hoover lived at New York's Waldorf Towers until his death in 1964.

Chapter 19

 
^9.
Him was one of LBJ's two beagles.

 
^10.
Her was the other.

 
^11.
The President is seated in the bathroom. Defense Secretary McNamara is close at hand.

 
^12.
Barry Goldwater was the Republican nominee for the upcoming election.

 
^13.
Jumbo was President Johnson's name for his Johnson. Oh my.

 
^14.
The President is relieving himself in the sink. Oh dear.

 
^15.
Some bulls do in fact have tits. Oh, that's pretty hot.

Appendix

 
¹⁶
 Adams's bulldog Toddy (Chapter 11) is one of only two fictionalized pets in this book. I needed a male dog for the Crossfire debate, and using Satan would have seemed a little too editorial.

 
¹⁷
 The giraffe in this book is the only other invented animal. Then again, because Arthur burned his papers, we can never know for sure that he
didn't
have a giraffe.

Acknowledgments

 

My agent, PJ Mark, is a saint. He made himself available to me at every hour of every day this past year for every question, query, and crisis of confidence imaginable. I took full advantage. (Next time a little less starch on the shirts, please.) Perhaps if this book is a best-seller, he won't feel so bad about having sacrificed his personal life for it. I can't thank him enough.

My editor, Annik LaFarge, was unflagging in her support of this book. She patiently explained to this first-time author that readers appreciate something called narrative. I'm guessing she was scared at times, but she only made me feel good. Thanks also to Annik's assistant, Mario Rojas. One day he will run Crown.

Don Epstein, my manager, is a rock star—not literally, thank God, because if he were he wouldn't be so whip smart before noon. Don has made all my dreams come true. Every time he calls, it's like Ed McMahon ringing my doorbell. Thanks also to my lawyer, Peter Grant, and Alan Berger and the team at CAA. Don's assistant, Sonya Giacobbe, has been tireless in accommodating my every need.

This book would not exist without the help of my friend, the brilliant Catherine Collins. She helped rearrange the random collection of factoids crowding my skull, also known as nonsense, into a story with a beginning, middle, and end. She's the best.

Mario Correa, my oldest friend, gave the book several close reads and made invaluable contributions—Quit your job, Mario!—as did my pal Adam Felber, a hilarious man who deserves his own show pronto. Thanks also to Chris Regan, a great writer with keen insight into James Buchanan, and Dolores McMullan, who gave the book an early read.

Quentin Webb is a fantastic artist. He was able to read my mind and in some cases change it, surpassing what I imagined, all in a flash. Thanks also to Rick Shiers for giving Miss Pussy life, Dan Rembert for his cover design, and Mark McCauslin for giving this book such special attention during production.

The beautiful Madeline McIntosh and the dashing Chris Pavone (aka as the Rita Hayworth and Ali Khan of publishing) are good friends and have lent vital support throughout the last year, as have Carol Bagnoli, Shannon Brigham-Hill, Lisa Dallos, Oren Izenberg, Jim Margolis, Brian O'Brien, Jeanne Simpson, and Elissa and Frank Sommerfield, Sr.

Robert Schiff, Haverford's BMOC, is a terrific guy, a fantastic researcher, and an expert anagrammatist. (That's actually a word.) He's now the go-to man on turkey buzzards.

UVA's Larry Sabato is a great professor—and funny, too. If you ever want a good five minutes on the Alien and Sedition Acts, he's the guy to call. You'll be rolling. His staff at the Center for Politics—Joshua Scott, Molly Clancy, Damon Irby, and Matt Smyth—generously gave their time to research and critique the manuscript. (I still want that tour of Zachary Taylor's birthsite.) Thanks also to interns Sarah Davis and Jenny Goodlatte.

Brooks Jackson, formerly of the AP and CNN, recounted for me the story of President Carter and the killer rabbit, which some believe to actually be a nutria.

All the agents at Greater Talent Network are friendly, fun, and very attractive. Until I met them I had no idea that mentoring college students could be so profitable.

A number of people have, at their own risk, given me platforms for appearing on camera. First and foremost, I must thank the amazing Jon Stewart and
The Daily Show
's cocreator Madeleine Smithberg. Thanks also to NBC's Katie Couric, Matt Lauer, and Tom Touchet, MSNBC's Keith Olbermann, Fox News' Tony Snow, CNN's Jeff Greenfield, and The King, Larry King.

My friend Stephanie Simpson gave me my first job in television, on the PBS show
Wishbone.
(She opened my eyes to the creative potential in dogs.) She is a genius writer and show creator.

Dr. Stephen Ochs was my high school history teacher and continues to teach. He made a great impression on me. I'm hoping he doesn't feel like Dr. Frankenstein after reading this book.

I must thank those chroniclers that have come before me in the field of presidential pets, some of whom are mentioned in the text of this book. If I ever get to chair a Department of Presidential Pet Studies, I'm hiring all of you for my faculty.

I could not have written this book if Helen Thomas had never been born. She is a great asset to the profession of journalism, an indefatigable pursuer of truth, and an amazing character in this book. I thank her for her example. And I thank her for her love.

This book would have been impossible without the support of Frank Sommerfield. Every time I was about to jump, he pulled me back from the brink with his mumbo-jumbo therapy. He now knows more about cable news than he ever cared to know.

My brothers, Francis and Lawrence, have taught me, protected me, and backed me in every thing I've done. (Well, maybe not
everything.
They're not crazy.) I thank them in advance for supporting all my future endeavors.

You can't choose your parents—science hasn't come
that
far—so life is still something of a lottery. That's why I know I won the jackpot with my father and mother. My parents have taken as much joy in my life and career as I have. Sharing my experiences with them has made those experiences all the sweeter. (Who would have thought an appearance on CNBC's
Bullseye
could be described as “sweet”?) They have sacrificed so much for me, and I am in awe of them.

About the Author

 

MO ROCCA
is best known for his work on Comedy Central's
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
He appears frequently on NBC's
Today Show,
CNN's
Larry King Live,
MSNBC, Fox News, NPR's
Wait Wait Don't Tell Me,
and VH1. He lives in New York City.

Photography Credits

AP/Wide World Photo

Picture History

Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division, reproduction number, LC-USZ62-118058

Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division, reproduction number, LC-USZ62-11417

Robert Knudsen, White House/John F Kennedy Library, Boston

Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division, reproduction number, LC-USZ62-17184

Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division, reproduction number, LC-USZ62-131302

Courtesy of Lyndon Baines Johnson Library Museum

Courtesy of Lyndon Baines Johnson Library Museum

CORBIS

Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division, reproduction number, LC-USZ62-131900

AP/Wide World Photo

Courtesy of Franklin D. Roosevelt Library

“Getting to Know You” by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II. Copyright © 1951 by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II. Copyright Renewed. WILLIAMSON MUSIC owner of publication and allied rights throughout the world. International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.

Photograph credits appear.

Copyright © 2004 by Mo Rocca

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Crown Publishers, New York, New York.
Member of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.
www.crownpublishing.com

CROWN is a trademark and the Crown colophon is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Rocca, Mo.
All the presidents' pets: the story of one reporter who refused to roll over / Mo Rocca.—1st ed.  1. United States—Politics and government—Humor.  2. Reporters and reporting—United States—Humor.  3. American wit and humor.  I. Title.
PN6231.P6R58  2004
818'.602—dc22       2004010505

eISBN: 978-1-4000-9757-9

v3.0