All the Wrong Reasons (28 page)

The girl touched his arm and he dropped his eyes, giving her his attention again but his body had tensed as his lips formed a straight line.

“Just stay here,” Bailey ordered. “You can talk to him in a second. And no,” she said when I opened my mouth, “he is not dating that girl.”

I relaxed a fraction of an inch, smiling warmly when Tori approached me. She wrapped me in her arms. “I’ve missed you, Irelyn,” she whispered in my ear. “And I’m sorry you and Lucas are having troubles.” She stepped back to appraise me. “You look beautiful but it’s just a façade, I can tell.”

Bailey squeezed my arm and dashed off to meet Spencer’s friends. I watched her go as I pondered Tori’s words. I lifted a shoulder, fighting the tears that just loved to bug me at the worst times. “I’m fine.”

“No, not really,” she said. “But you and Lucas will make up soon and then you’ll be fine.”

I longed for her confidence. I longed for her to be right. But I knew better. “Thanks, Tori.”

“Irelyn,” a voice purred from behind, making my heart fell to the floor. “How are you?”

I turned to face Owen’s leering smirk. “Fine, thanks.”

“You are a vision,” he said as his eyes traveled slowly up and down my body. “What an exquisite woman you are.”

“Please,” I said, in a weak voice. “Don’t start with me.”

“What?” he laughed, hand over his heart. “I’m not allowed to compliment you?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.” I glanced at Lucas again, wishing he’d come rescue me. “In fact, I’m not really in the mood to talk.” I swirled on my heels, stumbled, and escaped to the kitchen.

Morgan followed. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” I said.

“Why are you running from me?” Owen asked.

“I’m not,” I said through clenched teeth. “Now go away.”

He shrugged, grabbed a beer, and left. Morgan questioned me with her eyes so I explained about the New Year’s party and how obnoxious and rude Owen had been. My heart twinged when I remembered Lucas keeping a possessive hand on me and calling me his. I sucked in gobs of oxygen to fight the tears that I knew were planning an attack on my eyes and managed to keep them at bay.

Once I banished my encounter with Owen, I settled in a little, beginning to enjoy being out of my dorm as I chatted with Morgan and Tori most of the night. I didn’t speak to Lucas but I was constantly aware of his whereabouts – and the girl that kept engaging him in conversation. Everyone kept telling me that he wasn’t dating her and he wasn’t interested in her – and I believed them – but it was obvious she was interested in him. She shadowed him everywhere he went and always managed to touch his arm or his hand. I seethed as jealousy burned a hole in my stomach.

As the night wore on, my soul could take no more. I wanted to get out of there and get home. I couldn’t stand being in the same room with Lucas any longer without being able to touch him. I’d lost track of Morgan and Bailey so I wandered into the kitchen to see if I could locate either one.

Owen was bent over the beer tub but he straightened when I walked into the room. “Well, hello again,” he said with an ugly smile. “Are you lonely, little one?”

I snorted. “No and even if I was I wouldn’t be that desperate.”

He laughed loudly, his eyes shining. “Oh, Lucas was a fool to let you go.”

Stiffening, I narrowed my eyes. “It wasn’t his fault.”

“Really, now?” he said as he took a step toward me. “So you’re the one who let him go? Why, looking for a real man?”

I backed up - right into a hard body. I knew who’s it was instantly. “Leave her alone, Owen. She’s not interested.”

He chuckled. “Maybe she is, Luke. I mean, didn’t she dump you?”

“I did not dump him,” I fumed. “Stay out of it!”

Lucas wrapped his hand around mine, tugging gently on my arm. “Will you come with me, love?” he whispered, his lips close to my ear. “Just to talk. If you don’t want to, I understand.”

When I turned to face him, my heart leapt up to my throat. I nodded as I stared, mesmerized by his eyes.

He smiled but it never crinkled his eyes. He led me through the living room and into the spare bedroom. My heart flipped wildly, remembering the last time we’d been in there.

“Sorry,” he said as his eyes grew. “Maybe we should talk somewhere else.”

I shook my head. “No, Luke. This is okay.”

He cupped my cheek. “I miss you.”

I swallowed, nearly choking on the size of the lump in my throat. “I miss you, too.”

Licking his lips, he dropped his eyes to the floor. “Irelyn, I’ve had to fight myself to not call you or come see you. I could tell the night of the party that you had something major to deal with and you needed space to do that.” He raised his face to mine. “But it’s killing me. And when I got your letter – that killed me more. What’s going on – can you tell me?”

I took a deep breath. “It’s so complicated. It’s…a mess.”

“I know it is,” he said. “But maybe it will help if you tell someone. Bailey and Morgan told me that you haven’t been yourself and that you’re not sleeping well and that you won’t confide in them.” He squeezed my hand. “Let someone help you, love. Please.”

Tears clotted my throat and made speech impossible. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my eyes.

When I didn’t speak, Lucas lifted my left hand to kiss it. “Well, I noticed right away that you weren’t wearing Dustin’s ring. I’m glad to see you didn’t sell yourself out.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

Worry lined his forehead and concern shimmered in his eyes. “What did your grandfather make you do, Irelyn? What did he make you promise? I know he’s behind all this. Does he know about us?”

I nodded, still biting my lip.

Lucas cursed colorfully as he ran his hands through his hair. “Who told him?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. Lucas turned away from me, his hands still frantic in his hair. His shoulders slumped and I ached to wrap my arms around him. I was just afraid if I did, I wouldn’t let go.

He spun and rushed back to me. He took my hands in his, bending to my level. “Listen to me, Irelyn, you aren’t the only one in this mess – I am, too. And just like the pregnancy scare, I’m not going to leave you high and dry. I’ll help you with all of this – do whatever I can. I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore. And I want you back in my life.”

“I can’t be in your life, Lucas,” I said. My heart thumped angrily but I plunged ahead. “I can’t. I had to make a choice and I did.”

“Is this the deal about finding yourself? Trying to figure out who to be like?” he asked, a touch of rage in his beautiful eyes. “About not being like your mother? Because your mom knew how to live. Maybe she didn’t realize her dreams but she sure as hell tried. You say you don’t want to be her but you’re drifting toward being just like your grandparents. Are you going to be happy married to Dustin or someone like him? Being a wife and a mother in some suburb? Carting kids to soccer practice while you try to find time to write that book you always wanted? Or would you be happier getting out there and trying to make your dream come true? This isn’t about us, Irelyn and it’s not about you and Dustin. It’s just about you. You need to figure out what you want. You don’t have to be your mother and you don’t have to be your grandparents. Just be you.”

His words penetrated my ears and the thick, protective fog in my brain. He was right – so right- but where did Tommy fit in? “Luke…”

He cupped my cheek as his eyes softened. “No, Irelyn, please listen to me. I …”

A calamity in the living room interrupted him and he dropped his hand from my face. Still keeping a firm hold on my other hand, he squeezed it as he took a tentative step toward the door. But the door flew open and Dustin appeared, his handsome face beet red in rage.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded.

Chapter 20

Dustin barged into the room, his handsome features distorted by anger. I was shocked- I’d never seen such emotion on his face before.

“Irelyn, what the hell are you doing here?” he demanded. He glared at Lucas’s hand holding mine and his shoulders went taut.

“It’s Spencer’s birthday,” I defended. “What are you doing here?”

“Why are you hanging around this scum?” he said. His burning eyes remained on Lucas as he inched closer.

I sensed Lucas tense and I just knew things were going to sour. I dropped Lucas’s hand and placed mine on his chest while I reached out to Dustin. “Hang on,” I started.

Dustin grabbed my wrist, yanking me out of the room. “We need to talk.”

“Let go of me, Dustin,” I shouted as I tried to wrench free. I glanced over my shoulder at Lucas. His beautiful eyes were wide and full of surprise.

“Let her go,” Lucas ordered as he followed us, shaking out of his stupor.

Dustin pushed through the surprised crowd and ripped the door open, still dragging me behind him. I struggled to free my hand but his grip was so tight it nearly stopped blood flow.

Just as he stepped out on to the landing, Lucas reached us and took my arm. “I said, let her go,” he demanded through clenched teeth. His blazing eyes made my heart shiver in alarm. He gently tugged me closer.

But Dustin would have none of it. “She doesn’t belong here with you. Release her arm – I’m taking her home.”

“Both of you let me go now!” I shouted, startling them as if they’d forgotten I was there. Lucas relinquished his hold as his eyes softened. I tried to smile at him but I couldn’t muster the necessary muscles. I sucked in a breath and turned to Dustin. “Let go of my hand,” I requested in a quiet voice. He did.

They both stared each other down as though they were junk yard dog and intruder. I backed up, wondering how to diffuse the situation. Something caught the corner of my eye and I spotted Morgan peeking through the blinds. I wanted to call her out to help me but I knew it was time that I settled this – on my own. Let the chips fall where they may.

“She’ll never settle down with the likes of you,” Dustin spit, his handsome face curled up in a nasty sneer.

“And you’re so much better? The one her grandparents bought?” Lucas shot back.

“Stop,” I whispered desperately. “Just stop!”

It was like I wasn’t there at all. The tears streaming from my face had no effect on any of us.

“Irelyn, let’s go,” Dustin said, his voice quivering. “If your grandfather finds out you’re here…”

“I don’t care,” I said. I paused as realization set in. “You know about that?”

“She’s an adult and if she wants to be at her friend’s birthday party, then she has every right,” Lucas said in a calm voice, speaking over me, but I could see the tension in his shoulders and the tight fists at his sides.

“This is exactly why her grandfather wants her with me,” Dustin said, narrowing his eyes at Lucas. “Her grandfather only wants to protect her - keep her from turning into her mother.”

“What’s wrong with my mother?” I demanded.

Dustin rolled his eyes, infuriating me. I pulled up to my full height, ready to fight if I had to. “Sweetheart, you know as well as I do that you don’t want to end up like her. You’ve said so many times.”

“Maybe I was wrong,” I whispered.

Dustin’s eyes swelled to the size of watermelons as his jaw fell. “You…” he said as he shook a finger at me. “You want to be like her? You want to be … a whore?”

“She is not a whore. And neither am I,” I defended though deep inside I wondered if he was right. “Right?”

A brisk wind caressed our cheeks as it filled the silence that had descended on us. I ducked my head, too ashamed to look at either one of them.

“Irelyn,” Lucas whispered, breaking the stillness. “Love, you’re not a whore.” He reached for me but Dustin stepped between us, his eyes spitting daggers.

“What would you know about it?” Dustin said, his voice high and tight. “You don’t know a damn thing about her. You’re just what she uses to get her mother’s influence out of her system,” Dustin screamed. I paled. Did he know what I’d done? Oh, who the hell cared? “That’s the only reason why she hangs out at that bar and with people like you.”

“Dustin,” I tried to say.

“What the hell do you know about her?” Lucas answered. “What the hell do you care? You see her as a trophy and not the person she is.”

Lucas’s eyes darted to me quickly then focused on Dustin. I gripped the rail, the metal instantly freezing my fingers.

“I know more about her than you could ever imagine,” Lucas continued taking a precarious step toward Dustin. “Maybe if you would have taken the time to really talk to her – get to really know her- none of us would be here right now.”

Dustin’s cheeks flushed and the muscles in his jaw twitched. As he drew closer to Lucas, my body shook as if someone were shaking a new bottle of ketchup.

“Have you been messing around with my girlfriend? Huh?” He stepped closer so they were nearly toe-to-toe. Another inch and they’d be kissing. “Did you…”

“Did I what?” Lucas asked as a sarcastic smirk crossed his lips. “Did I kiss her? Did I take her home with me? Did I have sex with her?”

“Lucas,” I pleaded, but he paid me no mind. My heartbeat tripled and I held a hand over my chest, hoping to still it. I hated the way he spoke. It killed me.