All This Time (30 page)

Chapter
Fifty-Seven

Thankfully,
I recover with a plausible lie about attending one semester of a junior college
which he accepted easily. I can’t believe that I dropped my guard nearly
screwing up my whole investigation. I must be more careful.

Around
six o’clock, we pull up to a residence on the coast of Chesapeake Bay. It’s a
small two story blue dwelling that resembles a dollhouse. Wordlessly he assists
me out of the vehicle and with our hands linked together again, he ushers me up
the front steps. He pushes open the door and I realize quickly that we are at a
bed and breakfast. A sweet woman in her fifties shows us the Blue room and we
laugh at the coincidence.

“How
long are we staying here?” I ask peeking into the bathroom, spotting a large
claw-foot tub.

Blues
walks up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and puts his chin on my
head. “We’re only staying tonight.” I nod and turn around in his arms. Rising
up on my toes I place a kiss on his cheek and then move over to the love seat
positioned in the middle of the sitting area facing the television. “Don’t get
too comfortable,” he says with a chuckle in his voice, watching me slip off my
shoes before tilting my head back to rest a moment. “We’re going out.”

“I
don’t really have anything appropriate to wear to some place fancy,” I counter
looking over and seeing him unzip his bag.

“I’m
sure what you have will be fine.”

“You’re
not going to tell me, are you?”

“No,”
he smirks devilishly, while putting his clothes in the dresser and closet. I let
out a long frustrated grunt and he chuckles satisfied with his ability to
irritate me. “I will tell you that I’m taking you to a place where I can
finally do something that I have wanted to do for a long time.”

“Evasive much?”
I joke tossing one of my shoes at him
hitting him right on his dimpled ass.

“You’re
a very bad girl, Angel,” he says, retrieving my shoe and returning it. “I’ll
need you to get up now.” He holds a hand expectantly with a suspicious shine in
his eyes.

“Why?
Are you going to spank me?” I joke and then see intense heat flare in his eyes
as he tugs me up from my seat.

“You
want that, don’t you Doll?” he growls touching his forehead to mine after
seeing the hopefulness in my eyes. Stroking both warm hands down my sides and
over my hips, his fingers dig into my backside painfully, but delectably.
“We’ll save that for another time. Right now I just want to be inside you.”

He
kisses me deeply, placing both hands on the sides of my face and tilting my
head for better access. Continuing to nibble on my lips, he wraps me up in his
arms and carries me to the bed where he spends the next hour doing exactly what
he wants to my body.

Another
hour later, we drive into Richmond where we eat dinner at a small steakhouse
before he escorts me down the block toward a packed jazz bar on the corner.
Seeing the place reminds me of the night Wise died, and the memories assault me
as if they’re happening all over again, but I try to keep my distress hidden.

“I’m
such a jackass. This may not have been the best idea,” Blues says holding my
chair out and then sliding it under me as I sit. “I’m sorry, Doll. We don’t
have to stay here if you’re uncomfortable.” He sits, drapes an arm over my
shoulder and slips a hand under my chin. “That’s the last thing I want.”

“
It’s
fine,” I say honestly staring into his hopeful eyes.
Simultaneously we relax into each other.

Blues
orders our drinks and after downing them he asks, “Will you dance with me?” I
nod and he takes my hand in his. He spins me around once before drawing me
against his chest. “God I’ve been fantasizing about dancing with you for
months.” He kisses my cheek while swaying us along with the deep slow sounds of
a sad trumpet solo. His hands glide over the swell of my backside, rubbing and
squeezing while he pulls me closer. I dig my fingers into his hair while he
places soft kisses against my ear. “Having you in my arms is the best damn
feeling Doll.”

We
grind our hips against each other, urging the desires of our body’s along with
the sexy rhythm of the song. When the first song ends he refuses to let me go.
Keeping me locked in his sweet embrace, he smiles while humming along with the
music and moving us around the dance floor all night.

“I
could keep you like this forever.” His smile is brighter and sexier than I’ve
ever seen before.

Through
every song he keeps his eyes locked on me and I know this because I can’t take
mine off of him either. At the end of the evening he takes me back to the bed
and breakfast. Once inside our room he finds a similar playlist on his phone to
continue our sexy dancing. He keeps the music low so not to disturb the other
guests, which totally adds to our building desires. Soft music, others possibly
hearing us having sex and just being in each other’s arms is simply magical.

With
his lips brushing against my forehead, he whispers, “I want to make love to
you,” he moves his lips down the side of my face, “until the sun comes up,” he
kisses my cheek sweetly, “and then,” his mouth moves to my ear and his words
vibrate straight through to my core, “I want to hold you in my arms,” he
presses hot lips against my neck, “and watch over you while you sleep.”

My
knees buckle making me sway into him. He sweeps me up into his strong arms and
gently lays me on the bed. Blues begins loving me and before I know it the sun
is piercing through the blinds as he pulls me against his chest, thoroughly
sated and utterly boneless. With the remaining strength I have left over, I
snuggle into the crook of his neck, breathing in deeply and offering him an
exhausted kiss against his hot flesh. He groans happily low in his throat,
turns and then presses a kiss to my forehead. A feeling of tranquility settles
over me and before sleep drags me under I sigh with one final thought of the
day,
this is where I belong.

Later
in the afternoon we check out of the adorable bed and breakfast continuing on
our journey south again for several hours. I know that soon enough we will be
returning home, back to the way things were before the shooting, but something
inside me wants to hold onto this time for just a little longer. Just after
dark we arrive at a beach house on Seabrook Island. I notice as we approach
that the entire house is
pitch
black, but luckily the
moon is bright enough for us to see as we climb the stairs.

“Are
you hungry?” Blues asks turning on lights as we walk through the door making
our way toward the bedroom.

“Not
particularly. Are you?”

He
shrugs, “I’m a guy. I can always eat.”

“I’m
still full from earlier, but don’t let me stop you,” I chuckle.

“Nah,
I wouldn’t, but first I have something else in mind.”

He
deposits our bags onto the bed and then laces his fingers through mine tugging
toward the other side of the room. Opening the sliding glass door that leads
out to the balcony overlooking the ocean, he steps out and pulls me into his
arms. We watch the last of the people brave enough to walk in the cool
temperatures scurry up the sand back into their condos.  

“Stay
here,” he whispers against my neck, causing me to shudder, before disappearing
inside the house. A minute later he emerges with two thick sweaters in hand.
“Here,” he offers me one while he drags the other over his head. I copy him and
laugh when the hem hits just above my knees. “Let’s go down,” he suggests
before pulling me by the hand behind him and stepping onto the beach.

Walking
arm and arm along the edge of the waves, we talk about everything and nothing
while watching the moon rise and move across the sky. Blues shares with me
about his parents and the tragedy of their death. The way he speaks about his
mother, in a tone that is the sweetest I’ve ever heard before, makes me feel so
sorry that he lost her. He was only seventeen when she and his father were
killed in a horrific plane crash. When speaking about his father his attitude shifts
to loathing. He doesn’t explain the mood change, but I can tell that the
relationship was acidic on both sides.

“My
brother is a member of a unique branch of the military. He is literally a ghost
and a very skilled Mantracker. He stays on deployments sometimes for as long as
a year, but it’s usually quick trips to gather
intel
or remove a threat.” He pauses looking down at me, drawing me closer against
him. The cool air blustering off the frigid ocean is beginning to numb my
extremities.
“Your cold.
Let’s start back.” Pivoting
us around toward the beach house, he bends down and kisses the top of my head,
connecting my face with his chest and I breathe in deeply completely
intoxicated by his scent. “Anyway Attacus returned home after my decision and blew
a fuse. He showed up at my house and began beating the shit out of me.” He
chuckles softly, remembering the confrontation. “And I let him.”

“I
don’t blame him,” I mumble too softly for him to hear over the wind and waves.

He
continues talking about his siblings, joyfully at times, but he also admits how
he knows he let them down with his decision to join forces with Nelson and the
X’kapz. Disappointment or embarrassment flashes in his midnight blue eyes and
he quickly diverts the conversation back to his childhood and growing up in
North Georgia. I find myself smiling, laughing and even feeling ashamed for him
through his disclosure. 

“So, a tattoo artist?”
He arches an eyebrow while glancing
down at me and stoking his thumb over the diamond etched on the inside of my
wrist. From the way he asks I can tell that he isn’t judging
,
he honestly wants to know more about me.

How
can a man capable of so much bad be so attentive, good and loving? From what I
can tell he is exposing himself raw and isn’t holding anything back while
sharing stories of his life prior to turning bad. His honesty makes me feel
guilty because I can’t share anything real with him and a part of me really
wants this man to know everything about the real me, Samantha Walker. But, all
I can offer him are my cover story lies.

Finally
around midnight we walk back up the steps of the beach house and admit that we
are both famished. Unfortunately, we didn’t stop by a grocery store before
arriving.

“Breakfast
at midnight?” he asks waggling his eyebrows trying to encourage me. I look down
at my sand covered clothes and grimace while thinking about going out.

“I
would have to shower first,” I whine pitifully hoping that he will get the
hint, but he only smiles while nodding his head agreeably.

“Move
that sexy ass.” He twirls me around on my heels, pointing me in the direction
of the bedroom and disregarding my pouty lip.

I
give in and drag my nearly dead ass to the bathroom. There is so much sand
caked on me that I have to wash my hair twice. Once I’m finished I put on a
pale blue, short sleeve, tee-shirt and black cargo pants before stepping back
into the bedroom. Taking a deep breath I think for a moment that my mind may be
playing tricks on me.
Bacon
?

Sneaking
down the hallway following the heavenly scents, I find Blues busying himself in
the kitchen.
He cooked breakfast for me
? He moves around the small space
like a master, completely comfortable and familiar with the small space. Maybe he
has been here before. Since I didn’t ask questions when we arrived, I suppose
he could have. The smile on his face is pure happiness. Is it because of me?
Could I really make a man like Blues this happy? It’s completely crazy, but, in
all honesty, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. I grin as I
tiptoe quietly entering the dining area, but he turns around like he could feel
me approaching.

“Hey
Love, come dig in.” Proudly he points at a platter filled with an array of
breakfast foods.

“Where
did all of this food come from?”

“I
have my ways,” he winks before opening the refrigerator.

“You’re
sneaky,” I accuse as I pluck a piece of bacon off of the tray in front of me.
“I thought you were going to make me go out again.”

Smiling
proudly, he shakes his head while filling two glasses with milk. “Nah, tonight
I want you all to myself.”

“Um,
Blues?” He glances over after sitting our drinks on the table and taking the
seat beside me. “You’ve had me all to yourself for three days.” Leaning over he
kisses my lips right before he steals the bacon right out of my hand.
“Thief!”
I growl while pinching his side. I reach for a new
piece and gobble it down quickly, like the little bacon whore that I am, before
he can take it too.
“Mmm.”

“Angel?”

“Hmm?”
I smile while devouring a second piece of
lip-smacking goodness.

“Three
days are not enough,” he confesses quietly staring longingly at me with hooded
eyes that reveal the depths of truth and yearning in deep dark blue. I wrap my
arms around his neck, allowing him to bury his face into my hair. He is
offering me all of him and it scares the shit out of me. Blues is everything I
want, but absolutely nothing that I can ever have.

Chapter
Fifty-Eight

After
another two days of staying at the beach house, Blues finally confesses that he
owns it. He also admits that he had an assistance stock up the food supplies
while we strolled along the beach our first night here, hoping to surprise me
with his culinary skills.

Yesterday
he took me to a local, afterhours, clinic and kindly asked the onsite doctor to
remove my cast. My arm is still very tender, but the competent physician
reassured me after a quick x-ray that the bone is healing nicely, but to
continue using the sling for another week.

When
he isn’t being an absolute gentleman, he is rocking my fucking world in the
bedroom. Taking extra and unnecessary precautions, he allows me to choose the
most comfortable positions during sex. It works out great for my need to look
away from him while he loves me. He is bold and excitable while also
maintaining charm and affection. Last night, I cuddled against his warm body
while he tenderly stroked my hair and grazed his fingers over the swell of my
hips. He regards me like I actually matter to him.

It
really surprises me that Blues hasn’t tried to impress me with all of the
things his money can buy or gain us access to, like Decks does. But I must
admit that I’m happy he doesn’t feel the need to do it. I’m not that girl and
apparently he is well aware. For me it’s the little things that count. Keeping
everything from food to lodging normal and uncomplicated, he appreciates the
simpler things too.

It’s
late in the afternoon exactly one week since Wise was shot and killed and we
are sitting on the back deck wrapped in each other’s arms when the guilt of
what I am doing begins to consume me. I have skipped out on my life, leaving
behind responsibilities while allowing myself to believe that I could actually
have all of this with Blues. Feeling like a professional boxer suffering from
punch-drunk syndrome, I’ve allowed him to help me forget the heartache along
with the role I’ve been playing for the past year. My body, mind and soul no
longer feel like my own. It’s not all his fault. I’ve been fooling myself into
believing the lie that I keep telling myself about how I just needed a little
time away from all the bullshit. It’s nothing but a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
The reality is Blues is part of the bullshit and I’m an idiot for buying into
the illusion, even if it is for a short time.
This charade must end now
.

“I’ll
be back,” I say pulling out of his embrace.

He
smiles up at me before slipping his eyes closed and tipping his face up to the
warm sun. “Hurry back, Love.”
My god he is the most beautiful man
.

Once
inside I locate my backpack in the bottom of the closet. I pull open the
dresser draw and begin stuffing my clothes into the bag. I hear a faint buzzing
sound and remember that my new phone is in the front pocket. Reaching inside, I
pull out my cell, scroll through the call history and see several missed calls
and text messages. Most are from Kris asking me to call her and one is from
Russ saying that he was just checking on me. Peaking out the blinds, I see
Blues still comfortably seated on the lounge chair, now smoking a cigarette. I
hit redial.

“Hello?”
Kris says cautiously smartly playing along with our cover.

“It’s
me,” I reassure her, and she releases a heavy sigh.

“Are
you okay?” she asks.

“Physically
I’m fine, but emotionally, I don’t know.”

“Russ
told me what happened. I’m so sorry honey,” she whispers softly. Kris is my
rock and hearing her voice settles all of the leftover heartache I’ve carried
since Wise died.

“You
know how I get sometimes when crazy shit happens. I just needed a few days away
to deal with it.” I pause then whisper, “I went to his funeral.”

There
is a long silence hanging between us before finally she suggests, “Why don’t
you come home for a few days? I’ll take some time off and then we can get out
of town. How
does
Vegas sound? Oh or maybe a cruise.
You know how much I want to go to the Caribbean. Better yet how about a full
weekend of hiding under the covers while watching raunchy porn and eating tons
of junk food?” She giggles and I feel a smile creeping across my face.

“Kris,”
I start.

“Yeah?”

“I…”
The guilty words are lodged in my throat. There are so many things I want to
tell her, but today isn’t the day for it all. I sigh and shift my thoughts
before assuring her, “I’ll be home tomorrow night.”

“Okay
Sam, I love you.”

“I
love you more,” I reply meaning it, but knowing that our love is identical, and
then I end our call.

I
shove the rest of my shit into the small bag and carry it into the large living
room, dropping it at the door before walking over to the balcony. The sun has
already begun dropping over the horizon and I can tell that the temperatures
are rapidly following its decent. I shift my gaze from the sun over to Blues
still stretched out darning the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen and my heart
jolts. Watching him now I realized that I have absolutely fucked up. Somehow
over the past few days and with the simplest things in life, he has broken
through every barrier that I’ve thrown up since I was a mistreated kid, keeping
real love at a distance. This man didn’t just break through though. He has
destroyed every piece of my pathetic excuse of a wall. The truth of everything
that he has done over the past five days slams into me hard. Blues has burrowed
his way into my heart, taking up root. 
Oh Goddammit, I am pathetic.
And, profoundly in love with him.

“There
you are. I was about to hunt you down,” Blues says standing in front of me with
a playful grin tipping the corners of his mouth. I was so caught up in foolish
thoughts that I didn’t even notice him approach.

“I’m
here,” I soothe sliding my hands up his chest and over his shoulders to the
back of his head where I stroke my fingers through the hair at the nape of his
neck. He lowers his mouth to mine and I sigh into our passionate joining. He
places both hands on my ass and lifts, allowing me to leap into his arms. I
wrap my legs around his waist and he begins walking us inside the house.

“God,
you taste so damn good,” he moans against my lips.

Tears
prick behind my closed eyes. This will be the last time we make love. When were
done I’m returning to Decks and finishing this job so I can get back to my real
life. I release the hold my legs have around him and step back toward the large
sofa. Taking his hand in mine I guide him to sit down. Slowly I lift my shirt
over my head and drop it to the floor and then do the same with the remainder
of my clothing. His eyes roam over every inch of me, devouring and memorizing.
I reach down and lift the hem of his shirt, pulling it off while he shimmies
out of his pants and slips on a condom. Lowering myself onto my knees I
straddle his lap and kiss him deeply. His hands move around to my back and he
pulls me in tightly against his chest. The heat of his body sears against my
prickling skin and I moan deeply. A hard rumble erupts from his chest.

“Doll,”
he groans as I pull away from our kiss.

I
reach between us wrapping my fingers around his swollen and needy dick pressing
the head into my entrance. Placing my hands on the sides of his neck, I sink
down onto him slowly and lower my lips to his. Keeping my lids open, I battle
the tears that continue to taunt me as I stare into the eyes of the man I love.
He searches mine deeply, finding something and connecting with it while he
moves his mouth, sucking and sipping greedily. His tongue cuts through my
parted lips and he sweeps in finding mine is just as eager as his is to be
reunited once again. I decide at this moment that Blues tastes better than my
favorite Kentucky whiskey. He’s a lot more spicy and warm, but even that
description pales in comparison to how thermonuclear he makes my body feel. He
moans hungrily into my mouth while his hands roam wildly over my thighs, my ass
and my back. Finally, he settles them into my thick hair, pushing his fingers
into the back and holding me firmly to him.

The
mingled scent of our bodies is overpowering and being encompassed in it now
makes me feel like it is vital to my existence. My breathing is labored, and I
can feel that his breath and heartbeat matches mine exactly. Our bodies move
together like the ocean we hear crashing against the sand beyond the open
balcony door, and with each wave a flourish of cries from my heart begs me to
hold on and never let him go. Breaking our kiss we rock our bodies faster and
faster, seeing it in each other’s eyes and feeling it in the incredible build
up that our climax is only moments away.

“Oh,
Blues,” I moan before brushing my lips against his.

My
body teeters, just barely hanging onto the edge of bliss and I can tell from
his harder thrusting and heavy panting that he will be right behind me with a
thunderous climax. I grind down hard on his lap, wiggling in search of an
abrasive connection before he slips his thumb between my folds finding my
swollen clit. Still kissing me softly, he rolls two fingers tenderly over my
sensitive spot and almost immediately the waves of my pleasure consume me.
Keeping my eyes locked on his, I experience the best orgasm of my life that
isn’t just a physical enjoyment. It’s heavily layered with confused emotions
and wild mental pictures of us being together forever.

Seeing
me so open and willing, for the first time, Blues’ eyes sparkle brighter than
ever before. He digs his fingers deeply into my hips, thrusting excitedly a
couple more times before he explodes while whispering my name over and over
against my lips. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I rest my cheek on his
shoulder. He strokes his hand down the length of my hair repeatedly, sedating
me. Our high ebbs away slowly, but I hopelessly cling to him for a long time
afterward, fighting back the tears. My heartbeat levels out and I begin wishing
that destiny would have never brought us together.

“I
love you,” Blues confesses softly into the now dark and quiet room. Frozen in
place against his chest, I truly don’t know what to do now or how to respond.
With everything in me I want to repeat his words back to him, but I can’t.
Nothing about our relationship is that easy and it certainly never will be. I
love him and I’m positive that I will for the rest of my life, but there is no
future for a cop and a criminal.