Allegiance (14 page)

Couldn’t. Loved
. Past tense. My stomach did a nosedive into my frozen feet as dread surged. I didn’t know what was coming next, but I sensed it wouldn’t be good. Caden’s gaze shifted away from me. My mouth worked around a few words but finally gave up, incapable of forming them.

“Your honesty is what sets you apart from all the deception swirling around us. All the lies, the deceit. The vampires. This life that I’ve lived for seven hundred years. I knew I could trust you not to lie to me … until now.”

Like an arrow driven through my heart, Caden’s words paralyzed me with their crippling pain. The cold no longer mattered. I felt nothing but utter and complete wretchedness. “You can trust me,” I whispered, forcing the words past the giant lump in my throat. “I would never lie to you.”
Liar! You’re lying right now! Omission is lying!

Caden’s jaw tightened. He paused before speaking again, as if hesitating. “Maybe not lie but … there’s something you’re not telling me. About Julian.”

My insides spilled out of my feet now and hit the cold snowy ground. Even with the Tribe’s magic masking my secrets, that inner toil over holding Julian’s secret was still obvious enough to Caden. Again, my mouth opened to speak but failed to form the much-needed words of defense. How could I deny it without it being a lie?

Caden’s hand found its way to my chin. Pinching it, he turned my face to meet his again. “I tried to kill you, Evangeline,” he said slowly.

I frowned, confused by the sudden change of topic. “Yes, but—”

He cut me off with a soft shushing sound. “And then you were sent out into exile for an indefinite time. It could have been forever. You knew nothing about what was going on. For all you knew, I was a blood-crazed evil maniac who had used you to get here. You were imprisoned with that guy. He’s not bad-looking, I guess.” Resentment seeped into his voice. “I’d understand if something … happened.”

“Happened?” I echoed, trying to get his meaning, my brow crinkling as I focused on the ground beside us, thoroughly confused.

“You know … between you two?”

Happened … My jaw dropped as the realization hit me. Of all things, I hadn’t expected that. Caden was … jealous? Seriously? I turned to find him watching me, his face expressionless, unreadable, but his stare screaming loudly. He believed there was something more to Julian and me than friendship, and he was jealous! Of course! No wonder he’d acted that way around Julian! If this wasn’t such a serious situation, I may have laughed.
Caden? Like I could so much as bat an eye at another man after you?

Before I could speak, Caden started again, his jaw taut. “Don’t deny it, Eve. Don’t you dare even think about it. I heard you guys talking. Now. Before, when we first got here. I heard it all. And the looks you give him every time he’s with Amelie. Like you can’t stand it …”

In shock by this sudden change in direction, I furiously rifled through my memories of my conversations with Julian. I couldn’t remember exact details. We were careful about what we said. We hadn’t mentioned anything about the tattoo or the Sentinel. There was nothing! Nothing at all! Maybe … were we
too
careful? Were we so vague that, to an outsider lurking in the bushes, could it have been interpreted as a romantic tryst? And of course I couldn’t stand seeing Amelie and Julian together. They were doomed.

I slid my arms from Caden’s neck and folded them over my chest, studying the snowy ground as I struggled to form thoughts. Caden knew I was hiding something. Denying would make it worse. It would only drive a larger wedge between us. But I couldn’t tell him Julian’s secret. I’d be a death sentence for my friend. What did I do? Let Caden think I had cheated on him? Well, was it cheating? Under the circumstances … he’d all but given me the green light to do it. He had tried to kill me, after all.

A sick feeling roiled through me as my brain negotiated with my heart. As much as I despised the idea of Caden thinking I had been with Julian, it was his ego or my friend’s death. I had to choose. This moment would either kill Julian or save him. I knew what I had to choose.
The lesser of two evils
. Hadn’t I just finished saying I could never lie to him? Before I could chicken out, I forced the words out in a rush.

“It was only that one time.” Those six words wrenched out my insides. I didn’t dare look up as hot tears streamed down my cheeks, for fear of him seeing through my lie.

At first, only silence met my admission of guilt. But then I heard the sharp intake of air. Caden’s arms dropped from my body to his sides, ripping off a chunk of my humanity he loved so much with them. He said nothing. We sat in agonizing silence for what seemed like forever.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, I hazarded a glance up. Caden’s eyes were distant, the pain of betrayal dancing within them. This was a thousand times worse than if he had stormed off. “I’m so sorry!” I cried.
I’m sorry for lying to you.

“Did you …,” he began but didn’t finish, his jaw clenched.

“It was just a kiss!” I blurted out at the same time that he began shaking his head. “No, wait, I don’t want to know.” He rubbed at his brow with his fingertips.

I so desperately wanted to grab that hand and pull it to my chest, to have him tell me it was okay. But I dared not touch him or test him in any way, afraid of how he would react to my supposed betrayal. So I simply sat on his lap and waited.

Finally, so slowly, those strong arms found their way back to me, wrapping around my body once again, pulling me against his chest. “Please forgive me,” I managed to whisper beyond the sharp lump in my throat.

My body jolted back within his grasp as he pushed me away from his chest. He leveled me with an incredulous stare. “Forgive you? For what? There’s nothing to forgive! After what I did to you, I have no right to be angry.” Leaning back against the bench, he lifted his arms to cradle the back of his head. I watched quietly as he stared up at the sky, his Adam’s apple jutting out provocatively. With hesitation, I reached up and traced it softly with the tips of my fingers.

“You’re everything to me, Caden. Please believe me.”

After a long pause, his arms unfolded from the back of his head and his fingers entwined with mine. He tipped his head back down to stare at me with a burning intensity. “I do believe you,” he whispered, pulling my fingertips to his lips, setting fire to them despite the cold.

“I don’t know what I’ll do if I turn into one of those things. If I can’t do this,” I whispered, choked with emotion.

Caden’s jaw set firmly. “It’s not happening. It won’t happen.”

“Yeah, but …”

“It won’t happen! Stop thinking about it!” he yelled, his voice carrying through the empty, cold night as he pulled my head close to his chest. Though there was no warmth coming from his body, it still ignited heat within me. Then, abruptly, Caden was sitting up straight, his attention riveted toward the chateau, a guarded expression on his face. Two seconds later, the baying of wolves confirmed it.

“They’re here.”

And just like that, our time in the sleeping garden under the winter stars was over. In the next moment, my frozen body was enveloped in the warmth of the chateau again.

“You need to go change into something warmer now, Evie. You’re going to end up with pneumonia,” Caden scolded, herding me toward the foyer.

“Come with me,” I whispered, grasping his hand before he could break free.

A smile touched his lips, sparking joy in me. Maybe it wouldn’t matter that Caden thought Julian and I had something after all. “They need me down here … Max? You around?” In seconds, the tip-tapping of those claws announced my werebeast’s presence. Caden gave my icy hand a squeeze and then let it drop. “Max will go with you and then show you the way down to the meeting place, okay?”

“I’m going to meet Lilly?” I asked, surprised.

Caden nodded and I could tell he wasn’t happy with the idea. “Sofie wants you there for some reason. She thinks it’s important.”

“Okay,” I agreed, wanting nothing more than to curl up under my duvet with Caden and erase the worry, doubt, and pain that I had just falsely planted inside him. That would need to come later, though. He turned to walk away. “Caden! Stop!” I rushed forward and threw my arms around him, squeezing him like I might never be able to again, which was entirely possible. His hands slid down to caress the small of my back. “Don’t tell Amelie. Please,” I whispered in his ear. The fewer people involved in my lies, the better. Especially Amelie. Or, more specifically, crazy Amelie. I winced, almost able to feel the ground as she bashed my head against it. Caden pulled away, pausing to look down at me, a sting in his gaze that ripped out my heart.

“We’re all better off with her not knowing,” he finally agreed with a stern nod. Then he disappeared.

At some point during the day, a wardrobe of everything from sweaters and jeans to socks and underwear made its way to my room. I didn’t spend any time thinking about it, grabbing the first warm set of something that didn’t contrast too greatly. Yanking a rose V-neck over my head, I hurried Max out the door and tore down the flight of stairs, hoping to join the others in the meeting place before Lilly made it there. The last thing I wanted to do was make a grand entrance. That’d be like walking into a new classroom after a lecture had begun. Except that the entire classroom was full of vampires and instead of a stern look from the teacher, I could end up with missing limbs …

Max led me through a new wing of the chateau that I had not been in before. Turning a corner, I skidded to a halt to avoid slamming into a small horde of scruffy mountain men. These had to be the wolves! Yeti One and Yeti Two stood guarding a set of solid black doors.
What did
Sofie say their names were? Kiril and …?
Seeing them tickled me with bittersweet familiarity. I knew nothing about them, had never uttered a single word to them, but being near them reminded me of Leo. They offered stiff nods to Max and me but said nothing. I had yet to hear them speak English. I wondered if they could. With a firm push, Yeti One propped a door open for me.

Stick close to me and keep quiet
, Max warned.

Swallowing a gulp of air, I scooted by the yetis, ushering Max ahead of me into the room with my hands against his rump. I couldn’t help but be momentarily awestruck by the chosen location of this gathering. With the full height of the chateau looming over me, the massive unfurnished room must have played host to a royal ball or two in its day. Gothic stained-glass windows lined two walls behind a row of archways. An imposing, ornate fireplace filled the end. Not one but four enormous bronze candelabras illuminated the intricate marble floor. I caught the scent of fresh paint, which told me that the room had recently undergone work and yet, as I surveyed its vaulted ceilings, curving in an archway of sculpted plaster, I had to believe the room’s historical characteristics were original.

I quickly lost interest in the architecture, though. In the center of the room sat a ring of twelve chairs, none of them occupied. Six foreign faces loomed around the ring—all smooth as stone, all unreadable, all locked on me. My body had yet to warm from my senseless jaunt outside but my blood turned to ice, shivers skittering through my core.
Way worse than being late for class
…

A breeze, a brush of something against my back … Half turning, I felt Caden’s body pressing up behind mine, his mouth hovering over my right ear. My skin began to tingle.
He thinks I betrayed him, my touch will soon be lethal, and yet he’s willing to protect me
. With a trembling hand, I reached back to clutch his fingers. Taking a deep breath, I turned back to regard the group, now feeling marginally safer.

The six new faces stood as a poker-faced wall to oppose “the enemy”: Mage, Viggo, Sofie, and Mortimer. Amelie stood off in a corner with Julian tucked in behind her. Why he was here, risking his own safety, was beyond me. Why I was here was also questionable. No doubt Sofie had her reasons, though.

All except one of the vampires looked to be in their twenties to early thirties, based on physical appearance. And as usual, all were striking beyond measure. Four males stood side by side like soldiers, frozen and grim-faced, dressed in perfectly tailored dark clothing. Next to them, a brunette woman in a full-length red leather jacket and thigh-high stiletto boots faced off against Sofie, a pinched glare on her face. The little hairs on my neck lifted.
That has to be Lilly. Such a pretty name for such a hideous thing
.

As alarmingly scary as Lilly was, it was the female vampiress standing next to her who garnered my attention. It wasn’t because of the shiny black bob framing her tiny porcelain doll face; it wasn’t because of the way she eyed me, genuine curiosity sparkling in her pale blue irises, or that she was smiling. It was because she was a child! No more than twelve or thirteen in appearance, though she held none of the gangly or awkward traits of a prepubescent. Above all the fear and guilt that I stepped into this room carrying, my heart ached for this poor girl. What monster would transform a child?

Despite the tension in the room—thick enough to choke a person—I returned the little girl’s smile, finding solace in it. In a room full of vipers, this little creature appeared so refreshing, so innocent, so unpretentious …

Lilly spoke, her acrid voice ruining the moment. “She’s human,” she stated without so much as a glimpse in my direction, red lips twisting derisively.