Allegiant (17 page)

He swings the jacket around his shoulders
and shrugs it on, fastening the one button at the waist. The jacket
fits him perfectly, like it was made specifically for him, cut to
accentuate his broad shoulders and narrow waist. He turns to his
right to check his attire in a floor-length mirror and make any
necessary adjustments. “Teagan doesn’t have many friends,” he says
to my reflection. “It means so much to us that you agreed to be a
bridesmaid.”

Over his shoulder, I catch my surprised
reaction in the mirror and quickly adjust my features. I look down
to avoid his eyes and find there is a boutonniere in my hand. A
single coral rose and off-white calla lily are wound with ribbon.
“Do you mind?” he says, appearing in front of me.

I look up and force a tiny smile, pulling
the stickpin from the boutonniere and placing the flowers against
his lapel. I work the pin through the fabric and the ribbon,
securing it in place. I continue to look at the flowers as I step
away from him, afraid to meet his eyes because tears linger behind
mine.

“
Em,” he says my name
gently, stepping forward. He places his fingers beneath my chin to
lift my gaze; his fingers are hot against my skin. He searches my
face and then moves his hand to touch a tendril of hair that has
fallen from of my messy chignon. He starts to lean in to me and I
close my eyes, expecting a kiss. Instead he whispers in my ear,
“You had your chance.”

I quickly turn away, so he won’t see the
tears that fall down my face. I keep my eyes closed for few brief
seconds and when I open them, I find myself standing in a large
church, at the altar, in line with two other girls dressed
identical to me. Looking out over the congregation, I see the pews
are packed shoulder to shoulder with guests. My hands clench from
nervousness, and I feel a sharp pinch against my ring finger. I
pull my hand away and look down, realizing I’ve cut myself on a
thorn from one of the roses in my bouquet.

The minister’s voice booms, redirecting my
attention. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the
bride!”

My eyes fall on Dane as he and his new wife
turn to face one another. I take in the sight of her back; she is
overflowing in tulle, the train of her dress spilling down the
steps of the altar to the floor. The same rose appliqués that are
on my dress dot hers, only in white, and her shiny brown hair is
artfully swept around a sparkling tiara that sits on the crown of
her head. Dane leans forward and kisses her romantically, swinging
her to the side and dipping her low. The entire church erupts in
thunderous applause.

“
Don’t you just want to
cry?” I hear Shel ask from beside me. I snap my head to the left,
shocked to see her standing next to me in the same coral gown. She
wears a beaming smile and tears of happiness roll down her
cheeks.

I turn my attention to the bride and groom
just in time to see Dane release her from their kiss. She rights
herself, and I can see her shoulders shaking with laughter. She
twists her body to grab her flowers from the first bridesmaid in
line and catches my eye. I inhale sharply when I see her face. It’s
not Teagan. It’s Meg.

My knees crumple beneath me, and I catch
myself on the altar step, crushing my bouquet in the process. The
wedding guests continue their rousing applause as Meg grasps Dane’s
hand and leads him down the stairs. They pause as a photographer
jumps into the aisle to take their picture. When he moves out of
the way, Meg glances over her shoulder and meets my wide-eyed
stare. She is several feet away from me, but I still hear her loud
and clear. “Oh hun,” she says with a sickly sweet smile, “don’t get
up on account of me.”

The guests continue to applaud the happy
couple and it roars in my ears. As they descend the aisle, I hold
my head in my hands. I can sense the people leaving the church to
follow the newlyweds. Slowly the clapping dies down until one lone
person is left, their applause bouncing off the hollow church
walls. I raise my head to find James, alone in the front pew,
bringing his hands together methodically as if clapping with
sarcasm. He stares at me with disdain and it breaks my heart.

My eyes fly open and I spring up, breathing
heavily. I look around my bedroom, trying to focus, and hear a
frantic banging at the front door. Startled by the noise and my
dream, I untangle myself from the sheets and scramble out of bed as
fast as I can. When I head through the living room, I flip the
light switch, and then throw open the door. I catch Garrett
mid-knock, and he almost loses his balance.

“
Emma! Good grief! I was so
worried.”

The light hurts my eyes and I blink rapidly.
I glance at his arms and he’s carrying two large bottles of red
Gatorade. I step away from the door, so he can come inside.

“
I stopped by twice
tonight,” he says, walking forward. “If you didn’t answer this time
I was calling an ambulance.”

I give him a tired smile. “I was
sleeping.”

He takes the initiative and walks through my
apartment and into the kitchen. I follow as he places the plastic
bottles inside the refrigerator door. “You know, I had no idea what
Gatorade even was,” he says. He shuts the fridge. “From the looks
of the label it can’t be any better than my chicken noodle soup.”
He pauses. “How are you feeling?”

I shrug and remain mute. I have no words for
today.

“
Have you been crying?” he
asks, moving toward me.

I feel my cheeks. They’re tacky. “I had a
bad dream,” I say quietly.

“
Come here,” he says and
moves past me, grabbing my hand as he does. I follow along lamely,
too drained to care.

He leads me to my bedroom and then stands
aside, gesturing toward the bed. I crawl in and pull the sheet over
my body, pressing my head against the pillow. He leans over me. “Do
you trust me?”

I nod. Of course I do.

He places his hands on my head again, like
he did before on the first day of classes. “I know this isn’t
reiki,” I mumble.

“
Really?” he smirks at me.
“Close your eyes.”

I do as I’m told. A very tiny, very brief
wave of cool air flows through my body from my head to my toes,
relaxing me instantly.

“
Go to sleep,” Garrett
says. “Dream no more.”

“
Well, when
are
you coming home to
visit?”

I stir my chicken noodle soup around the
bowl with my spoon. I should head home for a weekend soon. I miss
my family. “I’m not sure. When do you want me?”

“
Before Thanksgiving,” my
mother says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Wait.” I hear papers
being shuffled in the background. “The community center is having
their Halloween party for the kids in two weeks. I’ve been roped
into helping again this year.”

I roll my eyes. My mother is never roped
into anything. She just can’t say no.

“
We need volunteers; it’s a
Wizard of Oz theme. What do you say?”

Hanging out with a bunch of cute little kids
and my mom? I think I can swing that. “Sure. Put me down.”

“
Great! Now who do you want
to be?”

“
What do you
mean?”

“
Who do you want to be? All
the volunteers are dressing up. Pick a character.”

“
I have to dress up?” I
make a face. I don’t own anything Wizard of Ozish. “What are my
choices? Who are you going to be?”

My mom laughs. “Auntie Em.”

Aw. That’s fitting, although I kind of think
I should be Em since I’m, well, Em.

“
You don’t have to decide
now,” my mom says. “Actually, let me get with Sophia and look at
the sign-up sheet. I’ll let you know what’s left. A local theater
group is supplying the costumes.”

“
That’s cool,” I say and
take a sip off my spoon. The soup is starting to get cold. “Hey,
can I call you back later? My dinner is getting cold.”

“
Of course,” she says. “I’m
glad to hear you’re feeling better and eating.”

I smile into the phone. My mom always wants
to make sure I’m eating. “I’m almost one hundred percent.”

It’s been four days since the onset of the
craptastic flu. By the second day, I caved and called my mom
whining about my sickness. She directed me to bed, the use of cold
compresses, flat Coke to settle my stomach, and the consumption of
clear fluids and Jell-O. I recruited Garrett’s help by asking him
to pick up some items from the store. He did so and more. He made
me a pot of his homemade chicken noodle soup, and he’s been camped
on my couch since Thursday night to make sure I’m okay. It’s now
Saturday, and he still sits in my living room, flipping the
channels between baseball games.

“
I’ll talk to you soon.
Love you,” my mom says.

“
Love you, too,” I say and
hang up. I carefully lift the soup bowl and carry it into the
living room from the kitchen, setting it down on the coffee
table.

“
Was that your mom?”
Garrett asks.

I nod as I sit cross-legged on the floor so
I’m level with the table. “Yes. I have to pick a character from the
Wizard of Oz to dress up as for a Halloween party. Who should I
be?”

He tilts his head and smiles. “I was fifteen
when that movie came out and so in love with Judy Garland.”

I laugh then try to look serious. “I’m
shocked. What would Amelia say?”

He grins. “How’s that saying go? What you
don’t know can’t hurt you?”

I smile as I chew. The soup is really good.
“You know, you should open a restaurant when you’re human. I know
I’ve only tried the two soups, but I can’t imagine anything you
make would be bad.”

“
Thanks,” he says and leans
forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “I’ve actually
considered it.” He looks at the television for a few moments and
then back at me. “I’m going to have to get a job eventually,
right?”

“
Aren’t we all?” I say and
swallow another spoonful. Suddenly, I remember that I need to pay
Garrett for the things he’s picked up for me. “How much money do I
owe you?” I gesture with my spoon toward the soup.

“
For what?”

“
For the soup and all the
other supplies.”

He brushes me off. “You don’t owe me
anything.”

“
Yes, I do,” I say
adamantly. “That’s not fair.”

He eyes me. “You were in no condition to be
running to the store. Consider it a favor.”

I shake my head and get to my feet. “Let me
pay you.”

“
It’s really okay,” he
says. “It wasn’t that much.”

I pause for a moment and try to calculate in
my head everything he’s purchased. If you add in the ingredients
for the soup it has to be at least forty dollars. I turn and walk
into the kitchen to grab my wallet out of my purse.

“
I know what you’re doing,”
he half-yells to me. “I won’t take your money!”

“
Yes you will!” I half-yell
back to him. I reach for my wallet and as I open it up, my cell
chimes against the counter. I look at it.

Wish you were here.

It’s from Shel. There’s a
picture attached, and I touch it to make it bigger. I’m greeted
with smiles from both her and Matt as they pose together at Dane’s
party, dressed for a night out and seated at what looks like a
restaurant table. Shel leans against Matt’s arm and beams. They
look so cute. I text back
You guys look
nice
then slide my phone into my back
pocket. I take two twenty dollar bills out of my wallet and head
back to the living room.

“
Take this.” I hand the
money to Garrett.

He ignores me.

“
I’m serious!”

He changes the channel with the remote.

“
I’ll feel bad if you don’t
take it,” I say.

He looks at me annoyed. He plucks the money
from my fingers and tosses it on the table instead of putting it in
his pocket.

I cross my arms. “I didn’t mean
literally.”

“
Has anybody ever told you
that you’re stubborn?” he asks.

My mind flashes to both James and Dane,
making me sigh. “Yes.”

My cell sounds again, from
my jeans pocket, and I pull it out. There’s another picture from
Shel with the caption
Operation recon in
full effect.
I tap the image and the
picture grows larger, revealing a distant and crooked photo of Dane
and a woman who must be Teagan. They stand side by side, just in
front of a door surrounded by people. The lighting is dim, and it’s
not a very clear shot. I squint to make out her
features.

“
What’s so interesting?”
Garrett asks.

“
Nothing, really.” I close
the picture and hope Shel can get a better shot. I pause. Do I
really care? Unfortunately, yes. Yes I do.

I turn my attention back to the money
exchange and threaten Garrett, pointing at the cash. “I’m going to
find a way to make you take that.”

He gives me a condescending look that says,
“I’d like to see you try.” I give up for now and take a seat to
finish my dinner. I curl my legs to the side and set my elbow on
the table. “If you’re so rich, maybe I should start charging you
rent.” I raise my eyebrows. “You have been here for two days
straight.”

He smirks and then stands. “I guess I’ll be
going then.” He takes a step toward the door.

“
No!” I sit up. “I was
kidding. Sit back down; I’m not fully well yet.” I really have
enjoyed his company. The days go by so much faster when you have
someone else to talk to besides the cat. James did come back the
day after I got sick, like he promised, but he only stayed for a
few hours.