Almost Always: A Love Unexpected Novel (11 page)

Fifteen

We spent the evening in the clothed part of Cap d'Agde. L'Ami Louis was a tiny restaurant just a block from the marina. It had a lovely view of the sea and the food couldn't have been better. I had my first taste of
foie gras
and in spite of my initial reservations; I wound up absolutely gobbling it down.

"Kason," I had objected, "I hate liver. Liver in any form is disgusting. I've tried it many ways. People have twisted my arm over the years telling me how good this liver or that liver is and the bottom line is that it all tastes like liver. Bleh."

He promised that he would service my body in any way I desired if I would only give the poor fatted goose's organ a chance. It was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

The
foie gras
had been lightly sautéed and served on a simply dressed bed of greens. I took a timid bite. The liver melted like a chocolate truffle against the roof of my mouth. "Oh God. It tastes like a slab of fried butter. Now I see what all the fuss is about."

"Now say, 'I'm sorry Kason, I'll never doubt you again'"

"I'm sorry Kason. I'll never doubt you again."

"That's more like it." He reached across the table and stroked one and then the other cheek with the back of his cool fingers. "Have I told you how beautiful, how superbly and utterly desirable you look tonight?"

I had chosen a little red dress, just a slip, really and a pair of barely there but mile high sandals encrusted all over with crystals. I recognized the signature red soles and knew I was wearing Christian Louboutin again. We were becoming old friends.

I brushed my hair 'til it shone and pinned it back on one side with a crystal encrusted comb I had found in a box in my closet on board the Royce's Risk. All of the clothes that had been on the airplane magically appeared in the master stateroom on the yacht with some new additions. The accessory box was one of them. There were several pairs of earrings including a pair of large heart-shaped red crystals set around with smaller clear ones. They matched perfectly and had to have been chosen with the dress in mind. Kason's personal shopper was extremely good at the job.

"I knew red was going to be one of the colors I liked best on you. Your hair picks up the warm tone so nicely. I had debated about the ruby necklace, but I see that I made the right decision. Much as I think you deserve to be dripping in jewels, this," he said as he slid his fingers against my flesh, "swan's neck needs no decoration."

My hand shot up to my earlobe in the realization that I was wearing a couple of rubies the size of dimes. I'm sure my eyes grew wider even as I made a huge effort to appear nonchalant. I nervously repositioned the crystal comb behind my ear with the realization that it, too, might be more than just a costume ornament.

"You can thank Taishi for that. I told him to find some unique things that might suit you. He's a ridiculous shop-a-holic. Carte blanche and an internet connection and he's off to the races. But I have to admit he's good at it."

"I'll have to thank him. It's very unique." I took a sip of my wine. "Of course, pretty much everything since the day we met has been unique."

Taishi followed behind us as we strolled back to the boat under the stars. It's a good thing it was only a block. As pretty as my sandals were, they were strictly made for standing around looking good, not walking an uneven sidewalk. I held on to Kason's arm as much for balance as for the romance of walking arm in arm.

Royce's Risk rocked gently in her slip, softly lit by dozens of small brass lanterns hung all around the decks. The lights gave off a soft amber glow that invited us to sit and relax on deck. The night was cool and our body clocks made it seem early.

The steward brought Kason's favorite—his snifters and a bottle of Armagnac.

"Care for some?"

"I'm so full I don't think I have anywhere to put another drop of anything." I relaxed against the soft white cushions and watched the waning activity in the marina. Here and there I heard the tinkle of laughter or a bit of conversation but otherwise the only sound was the slap-slap of small waves against the boat's hull.

Kason poured a modest dram of the brandy in a snifter and held it to his nose. "Let's just share a sip, then." Not for the first time I noticed how perfectly formed his features were. I read somewhere that the most beautiful faces are the ones that are the most symmetrical. I was willing to bet that if you sliced pictures of Kason's face right down the center and pasted like sides together the results would be identical.

His nose was delicate and masculine at the same time. It might have been a rather sharp nose in any other face. But on him, bisecting his high cheekbones and the hollows beneath them; ending exactly at the indentation above his generous lips, it was the only nose for such a face.

He held the snifter to my lips and I took a small sip. I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. The complex flavor and gentle burn of the liquor infused my mouth and warmed my throat.

I could feel Kason move closer to me but I didn't open my eyes. I allowed myself to simply feel him moving toward my face and waited for the softness of his lips against mine.

Kisses landed like embers against my temples, my chin, my neck. He took my earlobe between his teeth and I heard the scrape of ruby against the pearls of his teeth as he nibbled at me there. I felt chills as his warm breath hissed into my ear and he whispered sweet salty words to set me ablaze.

"Every part of you is worthy of worship. Even your little ear—a delicate pink shell. The ruby is honored just by adorning you. Oh what you do to me . . . you . . . you," he breathed. "You make me feel so completely alive."

I could barely exhale.

***

"It's still early in the States, right?" We were nearly ready to turn off the lights and snuggle ourselves to sleep when I had a sudden flash of worry about my parents. "I'd like to phone home."

"No problem," Kason answered as he handed me his cell phone. "Please give them my regards." He got up out of bed.

"You needn't leave the room. I just want to check in on them." There wasn't anything he couldn't hear, but I found his gesture thoughtful anyway. He was unfailingly polite.

"Are you going to tell them where we are?" he grinned at me.

"Only partially. I know my parents already think the world of you but . . . "

"And you? Do you think the world of me?"

I had already dialed their number when he asked. I would very much have liked to tell him what I thought of him, but I had to settle for a nod of my head because Mom answered on the first ring.

"Hi Kason," she said brightly. She probably programmed his number in her phone weeks ago.

"No, Mom, it's me. How is everything?"

"Everything's good, very quiet. Your father is itching to go back to work."

"Is that a good idea?"

"Well, Archie told us that the two creeps who beat Dad up are back in Chicago, at their union headquarters. With them gone and the two bodyguards with us, I can't imagine any trouble."

"Probably not."

"Besides, you father is going to drive me utterly insane. I am seriously worried about what I'm going to do when it's time for him to retire."

"I hear ya, Mom."

"So, where has he taken you?"

To the moon, to the stars, to heaven
. "We're in France. Private jet, big yacht. The whole nine yards."

"It sounds wonderful. You're a lucky girl." It was odd to hear my mother say something like that. Normally she would have registered at least token disapproval. Most of the time it was easy for Mom to pretend that I was as celibate as a nun. Because most of the time I was. The few times that she had to acknowledge I was having sex with a boyfriend, she did so reluctantly. It was as if her motherly duty was to at least pay lip service to the moral code she had done a half-assed job of instilling in me. But this time, with Kason, she seemed to approve, if not actually celebrate my misbehavior.

Was it the money? Did the thought of her daughter hooking up with a billionaire miraculously change her standards?  As soon as I had those thoughts I felt ashamed of myself. No man—no boy, really—had ever so much as considered my parents. The few times I'd brought a guy home to meet them it was as if they were doing me a favor to even be there. Frankly, even I found the guys of my generation rude.

Now here comes Kason, only seven or eight years older than I and he's like a knight in shining armor. No one asked him to step in and take charge. He could have easily ignored my parents' situation and I wouldn't have even noticed. But he didn't and in doing what he did may very well have saved my father's life. No wonder Mom was so infatuated with him. Who could blame her?

Who could blame me?

Sixteen

We left the dock early the next morning. Kason explained that we'd anchor off shore and take the little rubber dingy into the beach.

"You really don't want to stand in line for an hour waiting to get into the village," he told me. "Fortunately, it's September. I've never been here in August, but I'm told it's a real zoo. Most of Europe takes the entire month off."

We zipped close into shore and Taishi stopped the boat Kason jumped into the water with a waterproof bag and I followed him. He told Taishi that we'd call when we were ready to be picked up. I watched the dingy disappear quickly toward the far end of the sands.

Paddling toward the sand at a leisurely pace, we used the waterproof bag as a float. I watched Kason reach under the surface and wiggle himself out of his bathing suit.

"Is there a rule . . . I mean about being naked?"

"You're asking whether you're required to be in the buff?"

"Yes."

"I don't think there's a rule, per se. You'd just get some dirty looks—and not in a nice way. Naturists don't appreciate gawkers and that's what is assumed if a clothed person shows up on a nude beach, but mostly that applies to guys. You can certainly keep your bottoms on. Women often do, especially if they have their period."

"I think I'll start with that." I untied my top and slung it over the floating bag.

"Suit yourself. This isn't a test. We're here to have fun and be liberated. Just swimming naked like this feels great to me. I hate wearing a bathing suit. Especially when there's any hint of sand involved." He smiled and did a surface dive. I watched his backside crest the water and disappear for a moment.

"You'd better slather on the sunscreen on that butt of yours. It's as white as snow," I said when he came up for air.

"Oh, don't worry, there's plenty in the bag. And I'm looking forward to you making sure I'm well protected
all
over."

Kason was absolutely right about the beach. As soon as we stepped out of the water I realized what the whole point was. At first I felt self-consciously beautiful. That was weird. I, who had never thought of myself as particularly stunning, stood in the bright sunshine with the breeze on my breasts and felt utterly gorgeous.

All around me, as Kason had forewarned, there were human beings in every shape and size imaginable. There were many who were well past their prime. There were plenty who needed to drop ten pounds, or fifty. There was a smattering of skinny kids not yet in school and a fair number of young people, like us, slim and shapely. There were lots of smiles and I swear no one even looked at my chest.

Nakedness is a great equalizer. It took all of fifteen minutes for me to accept that no one was the least bit impressed or shocked by my appearance one way or the other. I quickly shed the bottom half of my suit as Kason went to get an umbrella and a couple of lounge chairs from the rental kiosk. He returned to find me coating myself with lotion oblivious to anything but the best angle for our chairs.

"Feels great, doesn't it?" he asked me when we were settled into our spot. We spent the rest of the afternoon people watching. I guess it was my newness to it all, but I couldn't help but size up the genitals of the people walking by. It's hard to describe how something can be very sexual and utterly not at the same time. I saw more genitalia in a few hours than I might ever see again for the rest of my life. Without staring rudely, it was still possible to take in the endless variation in human anatomy. I suppose if our society covered hands as a rule, I'd have been noticing hands.

It humbled me to see how age takes its toll on the flesh. I watched the older men, some still in very good shape and glanced over at the Adonis beside me. Kason had his eyes closed. His body was nicely tanned, except for the pale pair of skin shorts his nakedness wore. I watched the rise and fall of his hard chest, the golden hair glistening with suntan lotion, pectoral muscles untouched by gravity, skin unblemished by the spots of age. His long, lean legs were comfortably parted, a flat abdomen above it. He was all youth and all prime.

A lump rose in my throat when I realized that I still wanted to know him when his posture was a little less straight, when his muscles showed a lifetime of use, when his golden snatch of hair was streaked with gray. I knew I could feel about him then just as I did at that moment. Even in my mind, I didn't dare put a name to it. It was too scary to admit, even to myself, that I was falling in love with a man who had told me repeatedly that there could be no expectations. Love is nothing
but
expectations and on a very grand scale.

When Kason opened his eyes, I think I surprised him by suggesting we take a walk. I wanted to distract myself from too many heavy thoughts. Naked window shopping seemed to be as good a distraction as any.

"Wasn't I right when I told you the whole 'naked in public' thing would fade fast?"

"You were absolutely right. It actually feels more innocent to be this way than if everyone had bathing suits on."

"That's because a bathing suit only reminds you that there's something hidden. With this kind of naturism, you quickly realize that we're all just variations of the same theme."

I couldn't help but suppress some giggles as we strolled down the cobbled streets. We had  nothing on but flip-flops and sun glasses. We carried a couple of towels to sit on and a small bag with our essentials.

We passed a Laundromat where several couples chatted and folded towels and sheets—not many dirty socks or underwear generated in Cap d'Agde. We wandered through a wine shop and a market where we picked up some fresh fruit. In the course of a few short hours I had become completely at ease. Kason was right, it felt free and good and wholesome.

Lunch was
Salad Nicoise
, crusty country bread and a local white wine. It was simple and perfect. The café was right on the edge of the beach, the breeze was gentle and warm and the children's laughter seemed to punctuate the purity of this Eden before the fall.

We dozed next to each other on the lounge chairs after lunch. Before I drifted off, I remembered how I had wished to do exactly this—take a nap by Kason's side. I hadn't expected it to happen, and certainly not on a naturist beach on the Mediterranean Sea.

When we woke, we called Taishi. Even with the sunscreen, there were parts of us that were in danger of getting just a wee too much sun for one day.

Back on Royce's Risk, we slipped into the hot tub up on the upper deck.  The sun was starting to set and the warm water felt wonderful against my slightly sunburned skin. Kason had planned dinner aboard as he said that we had probably had the best food the Cap had to offer the night before.

***

Conversation at dinner was light. Deliberately and uncomfortably light, at least for me. I'd been denied a real emotional connection from the very beginning—ordered in no uncertain terms not to analyze or succumb to expectations. So, my psyche did what came naturally. I filled in all the blanks for myself. I interpreted every silence, every word, every touch and every action trying to get some sense of how Kason actually
felt
about me. I came up with bits and pieces I couldn't connect. He was like a jigsaw puzzle and I couldn't find any straight edges to start with. I only had unrelated middle bits, none of which fit together.

He was willing to pay almost any amount of attention to my physical well being, whether that took the form of luxury surroundings, fantastic gifts, amazing food  and drink or sex better than I could have even half imagined. He seemed genuinely concerned about my safety and my parents' as well. He lavished compliments on me and reacted to my touch in ways that told me he desired me with a primal passion I had never before experienced.

And yet. Neither one of us had ever expressed anything emotional that wasn't connected to sex. For my part, it was a conscious and difficult effort. I wanted to talk about . . . us. I wanted to ask all about Elsa and even about the little-boy Kason and his lost momma. But under 'the rules' that I had agreed to more than once, those kinds of things fell under the 'analysis' and 'expectation' categories and were off limits.

I sipped my wine in silence, wondering—no,
analyzing
—where the relationship was going to go. Had I been foolish in thinking that I could enter into this kind of unwritten contract? Every time he fucked me I became more attached. I couldn't help it.

He had entwined his life with mine. First, by his rescue of my father and all that came after. How was I supposed to refuse that? More to the point, how was I supposed to put the brakes on it now?
Sorry, Dad, Mom, but I've decided to throw you under the bus because I just can't handle this deal with Kason. Good luck.

Then there was the job situation. When we got back to New York and reality, I very much needed the helping hand that Kason had offered me. He could open doors that would be impenetrable to me.

"Annalise?"

His voice—that unnervingly velvet sound—shook me back into the here and now. I gave him the sexiest smile I could conjure and told myself to suck it up and be a big girl. This was a situation that couldn't be changed in an instant. I was on
his
boat, in a foreign country and the only possessions I had arrived with had disappeared along the way.