Almost Ordinary (The Song Wreckers Book 2) (15 page)

Chapter 19

My head swirled in that half-conscious state. I knew I wasn’t fully awake, yet couldn’t fall asleep or wake up completely. In my dream, The Creep—Adam—chased me down an alley that never ended. Somewhere in my mind I knew he was in jail, that he shouldn’t be able to chase me.

But he did. Every time I looked over my shoulder to see if he gained on me, something was different. At first he ran. Next he swung a sword in his hand. The third time he ran while playing the drums.

The last time I looked scared me the most. The Creep morphed into Cooper, who yelled, “Those are my kids!”

When I turned forward, my hands gripped the jogging stroller and I ran like hell down an alley with the boys.

“
No
!” I screamed.

“No, what?” somebody asked. “No what, Princess? Wake up.”

Princess.
I opened my eyes to Caleb in the bathroom doorway, freshly showered and dressed, purple bruise showing clear as day. My heart sank a bit when I saw him up and ready for the day. It would’ve been nice to be roused out of sleep with his hands all over me, but I guess we weren’t back to that stage yet.

“Oh honey, your boys are lovely,” my mom said, totally fake. She and Victor put their coats on, making it clear they planned to leave. Now. “You two are so lucky.”

The woman lied like a rug. I hugged her anyways. “Thanks, Mom.”

An awkward lapse of anything else to say lingered between us, so I said goodbye and held the door open for them. My mom and Victor tried to act like they enjoyed themselves, that they were sad to have to leave.

We shut the door behind them. I leaned against it and rubbed my eyes. I heard four little feet book it out of the room, and a heavy set follow them.

I wanted this visit to go the exact opposite of how it went. In my version, my mom would come over and finally fall in love with her grandchildren, like a grandma should. She’d be thinking,
I need to see my daughter and grandchildren more often.
Victor played along too, though I doubted his act of sincerity. Dinner would’ve went smoothly, and the exchanging of gifts, fun.

Today should’ve marked the start of a new relationship for my mom and me. Our emotional distance should’ve started to fade. We’d start talking more, getting comfortable with each other. I’d make an effort to visit her more, and she’d do the same. The boys would do something cute or funny, and I’d think,
Oh my gosh, I have to call my mom and tell her!

Instead, Alex and Zander were holy terrors all day long. All. Day. Caleb and I were barely able to have everything cooked and cleaned in time because the boys were either hyper, and therefore destructive, or crabby as can be, therefore screaming and crying.

They wanted nothing to do with my mom. They threw their food at dinner. Their Christmas gift from my mom was something they already owned, and were bored with. They played with the box and tried to eat the wrapping paper.

We couldn’t finish any conversation without a million interruptions. Normally the boys got along great. Today they were the spawns of Satan, both fighting for the title of Supreme Evil Being. It didn’t help that they’d cut their nap time in half.

Holy fucking hell. What a day.

“You’re not kidding,” Caleb said from the kitchen.

Mental forehead slap. “I said that out loud?”

Moping into the kitchen to delay doing any of the usual end of the evening stuff, I plopped into a chair and laid my head down on the table. “Is it wrong for us to leave the mess until tomorrow, put the boys to bed early, then crawl into bed and—” I wanted to say
screw each other’s brains out
, but I had no energy to screw. Plus our issues and all. I settled for, “Hide.”

“Go lay down on the couch,” Caleb told me, “I’ll bathe the boys and call you when it’s time to put them down.”

I lay down as instructed and, needing a mother figure, called Mama.

“Hey baby girl!” she answered. “I love the pictures you’ve been sendin’ me. Those boys grow cuter by the second.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you were around them today.” I told her about my horrible day.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry. That mother of yours doesn’t get it. It’s not you, you know that.”

I knew, and felt better that she validated my opinion. We talked about my boys, Katie’s baby. Mama had a hard time not knowing the sex of the baby too.

I hung up when Caleb called me upstairs to put the boys in their cribs so he could wipe off blood from his hand. Zander and Alex fought over a book, which resulted in Alex winning that fight and jumping on the rocking chair. Caleb placed his hand too close to the feet of the chair, and when it rocked forward, peeled some skin with it.

Using my mom’s parting words, I mocked, “Oh honey, you’re children really are
lovely,” to Caleb as I walked into our bedroom.

He grunted in response.

“Let me see your hand.”

He came out of the bathroom and showed me a nice chunk of skin missing from his left pinky finger. I took the Band-Aid from his other hand and covered the wound.

“I bet no one asked what happened to your face because they assumed one of the boys clocked you.” We still hadn’t talked about the hit, and I wasn’t sure how he’d respond.

I looked into his eyes, saying
sorry
with my own.

He rubbed his cheek. “I know it was an accident, but that hurt. I can’t imagine how it would feel if you meant to punch me.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice, so it’d probably be a lot worse.” Oh yeah, baby. From my playground days scuffling with bullies, to my grown up years being in more bar fights then I cared to remember, I’ve punched many-a-face. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it a little. “I know Katie told you about my fights.”

“I wonder if our kids will get your ass-kicking genes.”

An opening to clear the air presented itself, so I grabbed it. “This baby is yours,” I said, sliding my hands to my stomach.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know that.”

“Cooper and I, we aren’t friends, lovers, anything. I don’t love him and I barely like him. I feel obligated to help him.”

He sat on the chair in the corner of the room. “I know that too. But I don’t have to like you being anywhere near him. Or talking about him, or caring how he’s doing.”

I asked the one question I was dying to know. “Caleb, are you happy about this baby? I can’t tell.”

His eyes closed, and he smiled. Nodding, he said, “Yeah, I’m happy.”

Rushing toward each other, he picked me up in a hug. “We’re going to have another baby.”

He spun me around, then set me down to kiss me. The good kind of kiss—tongue, groping, and that urgent, can’t-get-close-enough feeling. We were going to connect with each other in my favorite way. Whenever he kissed me with that much passion, the clothes flew off.

The kisses grew more intense, moving from my mouth down the side of my neck, then up again. He backed me to the bed.

“Ma-ma, maaaaa,” someone cried, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t my husband.

Caleb froze. “Ignore it,” I panted.

He kissed me again so I laid back on the bed, grabbing his shirt so he’d land on top of me.

“Ma-ma maaaaa,” someone wailed again.

Caleb stopped and struggled to stand up. “Someone wants you.”

My gaze locked onto his crotch. “That someone is you.” I sat up and reached for him. He backed away.

“No, this is good. We can’t have sex for at least forty eight hours before I—”

“Jerk off in a cup.”

“Collect a sperm sample.” He adjusted himself so the bulge in his pants wasn’t so obvious. “Let’s go see what they want so we don’t ruin it.”

“Maaaaaa!”

Now both boys were awake. And burning up with fevers, we found out a minute later. I felt bad for thinking that Satan had secretly adopted them and enrolled them in Evil 101 earlier today.

We spent the night with them in our bed, wiping their noses and keeping them as cool and comfortable as possible. I hated having sick children, however in this case, it was a blessing in disguise.

Since we couldn’t celebrate Christmas at Katie and Brett’s—we planned on stopping there first to exchange gifts—or Char’s with the rest of the Ramseys, we had the whole day alone together. It’s been a long time since we had that. Plus I could use a day where with nowhere to go and nothing to do, except take care of sick kids, because I felt fatigued all the time now.

And not having to explain Caleb’s bruised face was a big relief.

Whodathunk sick kids that ruined plans made for a nice Christmas? Unwrapping presents distracted Zander and Alex from how bad they felt for a while. Caleb and I talked through our issues. He apologized for being a drunken jerk and I apologized for punching him.

While I started making lunch, Caleb spread out on the couch tired from a sleepless night with the boys. We discussed Cooper as I gathered ingredients and he flipped through TV channels. He said he trusted me to check on him if I felt it necessary, and that if Cooper “tried any funny business,” he’d kill him.

“Literally or figuratively?” I asked. Not that I expected Cooper to make a move on me, but a heads up on having to bury a body would be nice. Stand by your man and all that. I could start digging the hole at the very least. Not too close by, yuck. “I don’t want a grave in our yard. We’d have to do it out in the woods or something.”

“You scare me sometimes,” he said through a yawn.

I smiled, chopping vegetables for the omelets I was making for our late lunch.

Chop, chop, chop. Smile, smile, smile. I hadn’t felt this good, this relaxed, in a while. Wow, next year at this time we’ll have another member of the family.

Holy shit! Next year at this time we’ll have another member of the family! Why this fact hit me now, who knew? Maybe because my nerves weren’t stretched to the max, or maybe I was an idiot.

I dropped the knife and dashed to Caleb who lay half asleep on the couch. “Caleb, I’m pregnant!”

He opened one eye to me. “Yes, we’ve been through this.”

“No, I mean I’m going to have a baby. Alex and Zander are going to have a sibling.”

He sat up. “Are you okay?”

“Yes! Oh my God, I’m pregnant!” I dove on him and hugged.

He held me, but said nothing.

I put my hands on his cheeks. “Caleb,” I said with a quick kiss, “we never thought we’d expand our family. Here we are, expanding!”

“Are you sure you’re all right?”

I nodded and kissed him again, more than all right. I was having another baby, and Caleb would experience a child that was, in all ways, part of him.

One of the many things I loved about Caleb was that he never treated the twins like they were anything other than one hundred percent his. Maybe I should be worried that he’d love this baby more. I wasn’t. I knew how much he loved Zander and Alex, and the idea of him impregnating me made me hot enough to—

Oh my God. “Caleb!” I jumped off his lap and began pacing. “Do you know what this means?”

He took my hand and led me to the couch. “Princess, sit down. You’re acting kinda crazy. I’m not gonna lie, you’re freaking me out.”

He tugged my arm until I sat. I popped up and pushed on his shoulders, forcing him to sit. “We have to start thinking about birth control.”

“Little late for that,” he explained. “See, birth control is for
before
you get pregnant.” He tried to pull me down to sitting again. I squirmed away.

“No, no. You’re not getting it.”

“Then explain it to me.”

Somewhat amazed at having to deal with this, I said, “If you got me pregnant once, you could do it again. After this baby is born, we have to use birth control.” I sat next to him. “What should we use? There’s condoms and IUD’s but those are temporary. If we want permanent then there’s getting my tubes tied, or you could get a vasectomy. Oh God, first we have to decide if we want to stop at three. Do you want to stop at three? I mean, I’m thirty-three and you’re thirty-four, maybe we should stop. What do you think?”

If “Duh” had an expression, Caleb wore it.

I thought out loud. “Like, if you wanted four, I think I could do that. Maybe. But that’d be my limit. Yeah, no more than four.” I turned to Duh Man. “So, three? Four?”

Caleb rubbed his face with his hands then stared at me. The baby monitor began broadcasting whimpers from the boys, so he made his way upstairs.

I followed. “Caleb? What are you thinking?”

“No way I’m letting any doctor snip at my nuts.”

“Condoms?” I asked.

“Happily married men do not wear condoms,” he informed me, opening the door to the boys’ room. “Can we talk about this later, please?”

Chapter 20

My teeth were brushed and my pajamas on. I sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, my knees bouncing in anticipation. “Is it later yet?” I asked. Caleb had been in the bathroom for too long.

“Jesus, Princess,” he called out. “When a man’s in the bathroom with the door closed and the fan on it means
Do not disturb.
”

Eager to talk, I waited.

Then I stretched my muscles, somewhat sore from the short, intense workout I’d squeezed in earlier, and waited.

Then I snuggled under the covers, and waited.

I woke up early the next morning, Caleb dead to the world beside me, the twins still asleep. Peaceful mornings like this were rare, so I took the baby monitor downstairs and started the coffee.

The only sound in the house was the heat blowing out of the vents. Waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, I sat and enjoyed the calm December morning.

Thoughts of the woman I used to be, and am, began swirling through my brain. One minute I was Molly Davis, great on the surface, damaged on the inside. Like a piece of fruit that someone dropped at the grocery store a few times, but still looked good enough to be set back on the shelf. Some poor sucker bought that fruit and bit into it, realizing it wasn’t nearly as good as it appeared to be.

Then,
wham
! I became Molly Ramsey. Picked off the shelf by the right person, not bitten into, instead gently peeled, allowing me to heal.

Except I didn’t think bruised fruit healed. I think you had to cut off the bad parts, right? So maybe that analogy wasn’t the best example. Whatever.

The absurdity of my life—my entire life—made me chuckle. I couldn’t stop, and the more I thought, the chuckle turned into a laugh. Caleb clomped downstairs so I poured two cups of coffee.

He ignored the cup waiting for him, instead grasping one of my hands in his. “You okay?”

I put one finger up and collected my thoughts. “So check this out. My father abandoned me as a kid, I never had much of a relationship with my mother and spent my childhood hiding out in a dance studio where my closest friend was gay—not that being gay mattered, but my first really close friend was someone I knew would never get close with me on an intimate level. And hello, not letting people get too close with me has been a theme throughout my life. Until you of course. Not even Katie, who has been my best friend since the first day of ninth grade, and whose mother took me under her wing, and who taught me to play guitar and sing.” I knew I babbled, but couldn’t stop. “I quit dancing when I could’ve gone on to dance professionally, and my mom had spent who knew how many thousands of dollars on all my dance crap. Instead, I became a teacher who played in bar bands on the weekends. I gave up teaching, but am still in a band. I’ve been in too many fights and can’t seem to stop. Thank God I’ve never been arrested. I’ve been stalked, attacked and almost killed. Then the whole me, you, and Cooper . . . thing. My father is in my life, my mother keeps pulling away. Oh, sometimes I turn on the radio and hear songs that I’ve written. And here’s the kicker: I’m accidentally pregnant for the second time. By my husband!”

I laughed again, but it morphed into sobs. I put my coffee down and buried my head in my hands. Caleb put his arms around me.

“What’s wrong with me?” I blubbered into his chest. “I thought I lived a normal life and was a decent person until five minutes ago. I’m a big ball of crap. Hormonal crap that can’t stop crying.” I sobbed like the moron I resembled.

“Hey,” Caleb said, putting his hands on either side of my face and forcing me to look at him. “You are not a big ball of crap. You’re my beautiful, smart, talented wife. You’re the mother to my children. You’re a good person who always tries to do the right thing, even it if means pissing someone off,” he smirked.

I shook my head, still crying. “No, I was a horrible wife who made you mad enough to doubt your paternity of this baby.”

“Stop.” He kissed my forehead and circled his arms around me. “We’re past this. Forward only.” He swept his thumbs over my cheeks to wipe my tears away. “We’re going to have a baby.”

I nodded. Caleb stared with a faraway look in his eyes.

“What?” I asked, drying my cheeks.

“We’re going to have a baby,” he repeated.

“Yes, we’ve been through this.”

He backed up and turned to lean against the counter, and crossed his arms over his chest. “
I’m
going to have a child that is mine.” His shocked face slowly turned toward at me as if waiting for confirmation.

“Yup,” I smiled. “That’s what I’ve been trying to get through to you.”

“Jesus, if . . .” He trailed off, in his own head for a minute. Then, “If I can get you pregnant once, I can do it again maybe.”

“Yup, been trying to get that through to you, too.” I grabbed a tissue from the box and blew my nose. “Just now hitting you?”

He chugged down his coffee like it was liquor and he was a frat boy. “I guess so. Holy . . .”

“Shit,” I finished for him. “You know what the best part is, though?”

Lost in his own thoughts, he murmured. “We really do have to decide on birth control after the baby’s born. I mean, maybe. I guess we’ll see what the doctor says.”

“Which brings me to the best part. You have to jerk off in a cup today.”

“Bye, Char, thanks!” I said. “We’ll bring your car to you in a few hours.” I pressed the button to slide the van door shut.

She waved in acknowledgement and began backing down the driveway, taking the twins in my van with her to her house.

“Okay, I’m good. Let’s do this,” Caleb said.

“You sure?” I asked.

He grabbed my hand and led me inside. “It’s three-thirty, time to get-‘er done.”

We’d tried getting Caleb’s sperm sample after his mini freak-out during coffee about being able to have children.

“It’s not even seven in the morning yet. I think you have to wait until the office is open. Remember, we collect it and drive it there within the hour,” I reminded him.

The boys woke up fever free and acting normal. By the time they were fed and dressed, and Caleb and I showered, business hours had started for the doctor.

He grabbed the bag off the counter that he came home with the day he saw the urologist, and held it up. “The container’s in here.”

I smiled, trying not to laugh. “Have fun.”

The boys followed him as he made his way to the steps. He locked the gate so they couldn’t go with him upstairs.

“Daaaaa,” they screamed.

Caleb trudged up anyway. Two minutes later, he trudged down.

“That was quick,” I teased. I knew he didn’t get his sample.

“The mood is ruined with the boys screaming for me. I’ll try again in a few.”

A short while later, he tried and failed again. This time he blamed 3D. They’d called, wanting to know why had three employees worked on the same case. “It killed the mood,” he’d told me.

I encouraged him to try again in an hour.

He paced around. “I need inspiration or something.”

“There must be a
Cosmo
around here somewhere.” I lifted a couch cushion and pretended to search for an old magazine because as of a couple months ago, we were a
Cosmo-
free household.

“You cancelled my subscription and recycled the few copies you found.”

“I replaced it with
Guns ‘N Ammo
. Will that work?” I smacked his butt. “Come on, Caleb, time to work it. Wham-bam, thank you hand.”

I burst out laughing. I swear to God, sometimes I was hilarious, right? Caleb shook his head.

“I’m gonna have to look at you when I do this. Come in the bathroom with me.”

“Fanny?” Alex asked.

“Franny’s not here today,” I told him.

Caleb rummaged through the kid videos. He chose one all about vehicles. We situated the boys, hoping the TV would settle their wiggles.

Once they sat still for more than a minute, Caleb grabbed my hand and led me upstairs. We heard, “car” and “tuck” and “beep-beep” from the boys, and knew they’d be fine for a while.

Caleb tried to shut the bathroom door, but I stuck my foot in the way to be able to hear any catastrophes down below. “Strip,” Caleb told me.

He closed the toilet lid and sat on it. I raised my sweater over my head and tossed it on the floor. He stared at my blue, kinda lacey bra, and smiled. “That’s a good start.”

I unbuttoned my jeans then slid my zipper down, enough to reveal my matching blue panties. I turned around and slid my jeans off nice and slow so he could look at my ass. Then I threw my bra across the bathroom, covered my boobs with my hands and peeked over my shoulder. “Anything yet?”

“We Wish You A Merry Christmas” blared from the doorbell speaker. Yes, the doorbell received a Christmas makeover too.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Caleb snarled.

He couldn’t be seen with his pants tented like that. “Uh, I’ll see who’s here.” I grabbed my clothes off the floor and redressed before dashing downstairs.

Holding a bag of presents, Katie shoved past me as soon as I opened the door. “Oh, hey guys,” I moved for Brett, “what’s up?” My clothes and hair received a quick smooth down while their backs were to me.

Katie handed me the presents in her hand. “I texted you an hour ago to let you know we were coming over. How are the boys?”

“They’re fine,” I said as I led them to the family room. I picked up my phone on the way and saw that, yes, Katie had texted to say she and Brett planned on coming over and asked if I’d serve lunch. “It only lasted a one day, but don’t get too close.”

“Where’s Ram?” Brett asked, setting his share of the presents down on the floor.

“He’s—” do
not
say waiting for his boner to go down! “—pooping.”

Katie settled herself on the couch. “Good Lord, Mol. No one needed to know that.”

Brett patted the boys on the head then sat down next to Katie. Caleb came down the stairs looking somewhat frustrated.

“Sorry to interrupt your business, man,” Brett told him.

Caleb’s eyes darted to mine. I shook my head no, and mouthed the word
pooping.
He raised his eyebrows, relieved, I hoped. Then Katie asked, “You run into a wall or something?” looking at his cheek. The lightened bruise still showed, even through beard stubble.

“Or something,” Caleb grunted.

Katie raised her eyebrows at me, and my face turned red. I put my hand up to say,
I’ll tell you later
.

We exchanged gifts and hung out for a while. I could see Caleb peek at the clock every few minutes. I knew what he thought, that we had to force them leave soon in order to get the sample and drive it to the doctor’s office by four-thirty. I thought the same thing.

“Greenfield Village is having their Christmas showcases up through the new year. Katie’s dragging me to it today,” Brett said, and got pinched by Katie. “Ouch, before I have to go into the bar. You guys wanna tag along?”

“Ooh!” I said, then remembered Caleb and I had a time sensitive project waiting. “Not today.”

“Oh, come on,” Katie begged. “It’ll do the boys good to breathe fresh air. It’s not even that cold out. You always wanna go to stuff like this.”

“We have stuff to do,” I told her.

“Moooooool, it’ll be more fun with you guys. Pleeeeeeease?” She batted her hazel eyes at me.

“I’m pregnant!”

Caleb’s eyes widened in surprise. I’d needed a good excuse as to why I didn’t want to go, and she’d find out soon anyway.

Everyone’s head turned to look at me.

“Oh my God!” Katie screamed. “I knew it! I told you so!”

Katie hugged me. Over her shoulder Caleb shook hands with Brett.

“Yeah, so I’m tired and don’t feel so good.” Not a total lie.

Katie threw her arms around Caleb and squealed her happiness at the two of us having kids that would be close in age. It felt like she babbled forever. In reality, about two minutes. I knew because I continually glanced at the clock. So did Caleb.

We damn near pushed them toward the front of the house so they’d leave. As soon as the door shut Caleb clapped once and said, “Let’s do this.”

“Kids,” I reminded him.

He threw his head back in frustration. “Oh yeah.” He thought for a bit. “This isn’t going to happen with them awake. Nap?”

It was about an hour until naptime, but we needed the alone time immediately.

I shrugged. “They were sick yesterday so might appreciate going down early.”

Ha. They appreciated an early nap about as much as they appreciated going to the doctor’s for shots. As an added bonus, after over an hour of Caleb and I fighting them to go to sleep, they decided not to nap at all.

The four of us in the family room, Caleb paced. We had just over an hour to get a container of Caleb’s sperm to the doctor’s office. It didn’t seem possible.

I fixed Alex and Zander a snack in the kitchen. “It’s not that big a deal to wait until next week,” I called to Caleb.

“No way,” he answered. “I’m calling my mom.”

Silly me for thinking he’d have some tact. I wanted to crawl into a hole when I heard him tell Char, “If I don’t partake in some alone time with my wife right damn now, I’m going to explode.”

His message must’ve rang through loud and clear. Char arrived twenty minutes later, traded her car for our van, and told us to have fun.