Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy...of Sorts (37 page)

In the months after the Marathon, the bubble—the real estate bubble—would officially burst, the stock market would have days where it plummeted 500 points, and most of the fuel which propelled the lifestyles of my friends would end, dramatically changing their lives.

Marcie realized that she might never get back together with Greg and decided to begin working again. Rather than attempting to find a job practicing law, she started a new business. She created a business as a pre-school application specialist, someone who helps parents create the right pre-school application such that they would appear to be “the right match” to the feeder pre-schools of Los Angeles’ most exclusive private schools.

Greg, well-versed in the cycles of real estate, predicted that the real estate bubble was going to burst and sold the last holdings in his real estate portfolio in the spring of 2008. Currently, he is creating a portfolio filled with distressed or foreclosed properties. His new accountant girlfriend is helping him find great bargains.

Harvard Law grad June (from the Ivy & Elite Book Group) attempted to get a job in a law firm. After sending her resume around for an extended time, the only legal job she could get was an unpaid internship as she had no experience and had been out of the working world for 10 years. June might be partnering with Marcie in her business.

Leslee is still not working. After Hobeck, Berman dissolved she sent her resume around and then decided to take some time off.

Elizabeth’s husband never did get that bonus. I understand that her children now attend public schools.

Not 10 days after Bettina and Bean’s interview at Thorton Hall, Headmistress Brell Donovan received a persuasive recommendation letter from a Board of Trustee member who contributed close to 15 percent of Thorton’s annual operating budget. The recommendation came from Secretary Hutchinson, the father of their good friend, Thorton Hall graduate Robbie Hutchinson. In his letter, Secretary Hutchinson stated that if Thorton Hall didn’t show a true commitment to diversity including gay parents (and it did not admit the children of Bettina and Bean) he would not be able to make any additional financial commitment to the school. In an unusual move by Headmistress Donovan, Bettina and Bean received Sapphia’s acceptance letter from Thorton Hall weeks ahead of any other acceptance letter. After receiving lunches, goodie baskets and tickets to special events from Headmistress Donovan, Bettina and Bean signed their acceptance letter. “Once you get to know her, she’s really quite nice,” said Bettina at one of our mornings in an unavoidable coffee shop. Marcie just rolled her eyes. Bettina’s in-laws agreed to pay for the $30,000 per year tuition and to kick in the expected Thorton Hall “donations.”

Marshall was the fourth runner-up in the
Faces of Tomorrow
competition. In the second round—the talent section—he sang Papageno’s aria from
The Magic Flute
. That he actually had a talent stunned the judges and kept him in the competition. After the initial shock about his age, the judges realized that Marshall represented a large market segment and that there was a need for models above the age of 40. Before the competition was over, Marshall got an agent, after promising the agent that he would move to Los Angeles. Marshall’s agent thinks that he has a big future in reality TV.

Jennifer told Marshall to take a hike after the
Faces of Tomorrow
competition. I think it was too much for her when Marshall got an agent and promised to move to Los Angeles because his agent said he had a big future in reality TV. After eliminating Marshall from her life, Jennifer dyed her hair to a red-auburn with honey-blond highlights. It looks beautiful. She’s seriously dating a guy who works at a non-profit in San Francisco. He seems nice.

About six weeks after my Copper Pan lunch with Frank, I treated Frank to breakfast at a tiny place on Montana Avenue that serves great blueberry pancakes. Frank loves blueberry pancakes. “Someday, soon, I’m sure, some woman is going to be so honored to wear this,” I said as I gave him back the ring. “It should have been you,” said Frank.

Steve/Stefan started working with a company that had created a micro blogging platform and social networking website and it was very popular with designers and the fashion industry. He has gotten involved with someone who has been at the company since its inception, a smart, kind, brilliant techie named John. We talk often, although he is crazy busy—but happy.

In November of 2008, those Hamiltons willing to let go of their long-standing or current grudges long enough to have a meal together got together at the rehearsal dinner on the night before my cousin Megan’s wedding. Fortunately, Megan’s boyfriend, the father of her baby, has asked her to marry him. Aunt Katy was so delighted (relieved) that she decided to have the dinner in a private room on the Queen Mary and have a five-course meal with champagne.

Somewhere between the salad and Uncle Joe’s toast I took a small walk to get some air. Just after I walked back into the room I overheard a conversation between Julia and my Aunt Katy.

“Katy,” said Julia, “I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” said Aunt Katy.

“I’m Jewish,” said Julia.

Aunt Katy burst out laughing.

Julia looked crestfallen.

And then Aunt Katy grabbed Julia and hugged her.

“Julia,” she said, “we’ve known that for 30 years. We were just waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell us.” I don’t think my mother knew that I was standing three feet from her very exposed left shoulder (revealed by a strapless turquoise dress which I had worn on New Year’s ’04) when this exchange took place. But when I returned to my chair and sat down, Aunt Katy turned to me, and winked.

And then there was me. What happened during the 26.2 miles of that marathon, and what I never forgot, was that I had done something no one, not even I, thought I could do: I ran 26.2 miles. And while running those 26.2 miles I realized that every life has its own path and every person has their own timetable, and that all of the commentary from friends and acquaintances about me running out of time, getting old, getting stale and what I needed to do to attract the right person—even telling me who was the right person—was just commentary, or noise. I realized that it was my choice whether to accept those comments from people I knew, or to reject them because the ultimate truth was that they didn’t define who I was, what I did, or how I chose to live. Unlike that comment when I left Elizabeth’s Ivy & Elite Book Group, I could never be a cautionary tale, unless I chose to be. Who I was, what I did, what values I embraced—this was all my choice. And after leaving therapy with Roberta, I had gotten a list of books from Rabbi O’Toole and started reading so that I could choose my own values. The thing is, you can change and you can pick and choose what values and what life you want—the Velveeta or the Brie—and leave the rest. But what I realized, and what surprised me the most was that someone had come to appreciate me for who I was and what I was attempting to do, even though I wasn’t perfect, didn’t come from the “right family,” would never be part of the Ivy & Elite, sometimes made mistakes, occasionally said goofy things, have a weird sense of humor—and am tall. And that person wanted to be with me. Because that person was standing there with a space blanket, water and a big hug as I crossed over the finish line of that endless 26.2 mile marathon. And you already know who it was.

It was Josh.

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Almost Royalty
has a website and a blog where snarky and funny (hopefully!) things are written when we find something that inspires commentary. Join us at
www.ecochainofdating.com
, and at our blog,
www.ecochainofdating.com/blog/
You can also chat with Courtney Hamilton on her Facebook Group page (
facebook.com/EcoChainOfDating
) and Twitter (
@ecochaindating
).

THG—None of this would have ever happened without you. I’ve never won a lottery, but the day I met you I knew that you were my big win in life—and I had won huge.

Jo Berryman—Thank you so much for always believing in my writing and for your wonderful friendship. You are the kindest and loveliest person I have ever met and the role model whom I attempt to emulate.

Tim Ingelson—Thank you for your tremendous marketing strategy.

Michael Alvear—Thank you for your excellent media strategy.

Barb Elliott and booknook.biz—Thank you for your careful attention to the creation of the ebooks.

Forrest Thompson Publishers—Thank you for publishing this book and for your patient editorial support. Thank you, Amanda Larson, for all your wonderful assistance.

All Early Readers—Thank you so much for your kind reviews and valuable suggestions.

Courtney’s Friends & Family

Courtney
– A thirtyish attorney, protagonist of the book, continually attracted to men who live by the mantra “We men are tired: It’s your turn to take over.” Thinking of ending her latest engagement.

Bettina
– A married Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) desperate to get her daughter into the most selective and exclusive private school in Los Angeles and frantic to erase her interesting past as a radical feminist artist.

Marcie
(pronounced “Mar-say”) – A recovering attorney (truly too lazy to be an attorney now that she knows how difficult it is) and creator of the “L.A. Eco-Chain of Dating”. Desperate to marry well and never have to work again.

Jennifer
– Courtney’s best friend, despite having “escaped” (her words) to that very pretty food court 500 hundred miles north of Los Angeles known as San Francisco.

Frank
– Courtney’s current fiancé, who lives by the mantra “We men are tired—It’s your turn to take over.” See #1 above.

Julia
– Courtney’s mother, who asked Courtney at age 12 to stop calling her “Mom.” A self-described “Divorce Engineer”.

Roberta
– Courtney’s therapist, who imposes her will on all aspects of her clients’ lives.

Josh
– An almost single/‌divorced person with whom Courtney is set up.

Dr. Ted
– Courtney’s friend whom she sets up with Marcie.

Bean
– Bettina’s husband.

Marshall
– Jennifer’s kinda boyfriend in San Francisco.

The Ivy & Elite Book Group

Leslee
– An attorney and recent transplant from San Francisco who is forced to work in her law firm’s L.A. regional office.

Elizabeth
– UPenn and Columbia Journalism School Grad, a current Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) who writes the newsletter for her Parent and Me Group and owner of the house where the Book group meets.

Renata
– Vassar grad and former editor at HarperCollins. Currently a SAHM.

Laura
– Duke grad with a PhD in psychology. Currently a SAHM.

June
– Harvard Law Grad. Currently a SAHM.

Patty
– Stanford Grad, married, not working, trying to have kids.

People in Group Therapy with Courtney

A former child actress who wants to become a legit adult actress.

A female wardrobe supervisor who wants to become an actress.

A divorced housewife who wants to become a therapist.

A couple of guys who really don’t want to be there.

Frank
– Current boyfriend, whom Courtney meets in Group Therapy. Again.

Other Men in Courtney’s Life

Genie
(Jon Gene) – A former drama professor at Courtney’s undergrad school.

Stefan
– A childhood friend of Courtney’s.

Richard
– A literary agent from the Ivy & Elite Mambo Night.

Andre
– Courtney’s former fiancé.

COURTNEY HAMILTON has worked in Hollywood with writers, directors, executive producers, actresses and actors in the entertainment industry in L.A., Las Vegas and New York, including Golden Globe and Emmy winners in feature films and television (particularly in the humorous fiction, humor romance and women’s fiction genres). Based in Los Angeles, California, Hamilton is a keen observer of L.A. Royalty and the unique L.A. Society (which many may consider a romantic fiction of its own). Almost Royalty is a fictionalized satire of Los Angeles social classes and especially those who aspire to be a part of A-Level Royalty of Los Angeles.

Sit. Read. Have some Velveeta. Laugh. Enjoy.

Almost Royalty

A Romantic Comedy…of Sorts

Courtney Hamilton

Forrest Thompson Publishers LLC

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be used in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Please visit our website at
www.ecochainofdating.com
.
Comments and requests may also be left at
www.ecochainLA.com
(the blog of www.ecochainofdating.com).

Copyright © 2014 Courtney Hamilton

Cover Copyright © 2014 Buzz & Earl Enterprises, Inc.

All Rights Reserved.

ISBN-10: 0983726701

ISBN-13: 987-0-9837267-0-8