Authors: Cora Wolf
Tags: #Paranormal Romance
Copyright © 2014 Cora Wolf
All rights reserved.
After a week of trying to find her inner wolf and shift at will, all Sara has managed to find is a powerful lust for Connor’s broad chest and roguish grin. They cant keep their hands off of each other. But Marcus has other plans. He wants the three of them to test run the idea of sharing Sara, before her mating heat begins.
Connor assures her that sharing a female is normal behavior in a pack, but Sara isn’t so sure. Marcus is attractive, no doubt, but cold and severe too, and not the kind of guy that Sara typically goes for. But the werewolf inside of her has different wants and needs, and Marcus knows exactly how to speak to that hidden part of Sara, the part that she hasn’t yet learned to control.
"Concentrate," Connor said, for what must have been the twentieth time that afternoon.
I closed my eyes and settled in to my chair.
"Let your mind relax," Connor continued, in a slow, even voice, "and when you've cleared your mind of everything, look for the wolf inside of you. It's always there, you just need to quiet your mind and you will find it."
I tried to clear my mind, I really did, but there was no way to concentrate when he was sitting just a few feet away from me, continually talking. Everything time I tried to think of nothing, the void was immediately filled by thoughts of Connor.
"Can you sense the wolf?"
I sighed and shook my head.
"Why not?" He sounded as frustrated as I felt.
"What's distracting you?"
"You are!" I said, opening my eyes. He gave me that roguish grin that I loved so much, and I simultaneously swooned and hated him for knowing just how to make me swoon. How was I supposed to concentrate under those kinds of conditions?
We had arrived at Marcus' property a week ago, in the early morning light, mist still clinging to the ground, and Connor and I hadn't done a whole lot besides hole up in his room and have constant sex. I had barely even seen Marcus. I hadn't really wanted to either. After he told me that I would be uncontrollably drawn to him when my mating heat took me... I figured if I just avoided him I could conveniently forget about that. About all of it. I didn't want to be drawn to Marcus, I wanted Connor.
But Connor wanted to teach me to shift to my wolf at will, and he didn't have a whole lot of patience for my excuses about how distracting he was.
"Let's just go back to your room for an hour... or two," I said, grinning, "and then I wont be so distracted."
Connor suppressed a smile and shook his head, "how many times have I already fallen for that one?" Then he got serious, "Sara you have to learn this. It's what's going to keep you alive. Eventually we're going to leave this property again, to help us look for more werewolves, and you have to be able to shift, or you'll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind?"
I sighed, "no, I don't want to be left behind."
"Okay," I closed my eyes and settled back in to the couch. He was right, I had to be able to shift in to my wolf at will. It was silly to be so close to being able to do that and to not be able to think about something other than sex for five minutes.
I pushed everything else out of my mind until there was nothing there, until it was just a blank slate. But immediately, before I could even think to look for the thing that was my wolf in my mind, Thoughts of Connor came back, unbidden, unwanted, but unavoidable.
I opened my eyes and groaned in frustration. "It's impossible!"
"You're a terrible student," Connor said, shaking his head at me, "I thought I was bad, but it's going to take you forever to get this. You cant even get to step one."
I pushed myself off of the chair and went to him on the couch. "I just need to get this out of the way and then I'll be able to concentrate, I swear." I straddled myself across his legs on the couch and then leaned in to him, pressing my lips to his, and after a moment of resistance and a low growl he kissed me back, wrapping one big hand around the back of my neck and pulling me in to him.
I ground my hips in to his lap, pressing myself against him. I was insatiable, and so was he. That, more than anything, was what I loved about being with Connor. No matter how badly I seemed to want him, he wanted me more. Our lust was primal. It was addictive, to be wanted and desired like that. Each time he couldn't help himself, each time his lust got the better of him, I fell a little deeper for him.
"Wait," he said, pushing me back gently. I tried to lean in past his protests but he easily held me off with his strong hands.
"What?" I said, suddenly worried.
"I had a conversation with Marcus last night," Connor said. "He explained to me that when your mating heat takes you, you wont be able to resist the pull to the alpha."
I slumped, sitting there in Connor's lap, and gave him an angry look. "I'll be able to control myself. I'm not some slave to my hormones. I can choose who I mate with."
"No," Connor said, shaking his head, "you wont be able to." He didn't look quite as upset about the whole thing as I was, but I could tell he wasn't exactly happy either.
"Is he really the alpha?" I said. "You've fought all kinds of werewolves, you've killed them."
Connor got an angry look on his face and stared past me, at the wall. He hated to talk about that.
"I'm sorry," I said, "but it's true. If you challenged him to a fight you would win. Right?"
"Marcus has spent far longer as a wolf than I have. He knows how to be a wolf better than me. But yes, I could still probably beat him in a fight."
"So why cant you be the alpha?" I said.
"Being the alpha of a pack isn't just about who can beat up who Sara," he said, smiling a little and running a finger through my hair. "Marcus is able to provide for us. He's also older, and more experienced, and he knows what has to be done to survive. One day I may go and start my own pack, but right now there is a lot that I need to learn from Marcus still."
I hated that he sounded so reasonable and wise. "Well I don't care," I said, "I only want you." I leaned in to kiss him again and prove my point, but he held me back and I sighed in frustration.
"What about the idea of sharing?" Connor said, looking in to my eyes, looking for my reaction, "Marcus said he mentioned the idea to you. What do you think about that?"
"Well that's literally all he said. Sharing. What does that even mean?"
Connor grinned, "I forget how much you don't know about being a wolf. It means a threesome, to put it in human terms. But it's more common among werewolves. More accepted."
"Do you know that, or is that just what Marcus told you?"
"No," Connor shook his head, "when I talked to other wolves, at the fighting rings, some of them had been in packs before. They told me about what it was like. It's a very... communal way of living. Everything is shared. Even the females," he gave me a look, "provided they are willing to be shared, anyway."
I started to protest but Connor cut me off, "you were raised by humans, and I know it's hard, but you have to stop thinking like them. You have to stop applying their rules to what we do. We're not them, we're different. The sooner you can internalize that, the better off you'll be."
Connor claimed he wasn't as smart as Marcus, not as much of a natural leader, but sometimes he said things like that and I knew that he didn't give himself nearly enough credit.
"And you would actually want to share me?" I said, raising my eyebrows at him.
Connor was silent for a moment, "it's that, or I lose you when your mating heat overtakes you."
That wasn't exactly an enthusiastic yes. "We could just run away," I said, my voice becoming urgent, "we could go somewhere else and be together."
But Connor was already shaking his head, "I wont leave Marcus. He saved my life, he taught me to shift. My place is with him."
"Well what if I don't want to be with Marcus?" I said.
Connor gave me a searching look, "is that true?"
I got off of Connor's lap and slouched in to the couch beside him, "I barely know Marcus. I've had all of one conversation with him. And he doesn't seem the least bit interested in me. When all three of us met it was obvious that you were interested in me. But him... I get the feeling from him that I'm a chess piece on board, that I'm there to be moved around, used, but that he doesn't actually care about me."
"He just has a lot to do, that's all." Connor wrapped one big arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close, "he doesn't have time to sit around all day, kissing you," and he kissed my forehead.
"Whatever," I said, turning in to Connor, "there's still weeks left until my mating heat, we can talk about this later. After we do some more kissing."
But Connor leaned back again, denying me, "well that's why Marcus came and talked to me actually. He wants to try it out. Because when your mating heat comes, we're all going to be raging balls of hormones. We don't want that to be the first time we try this. We don't want there to be any misunderstandings."
I couldn't wrap my head around how matter-of-fact this all seemed to be to Connor. Like of course, a threesome, that made perfect sense. And it
kind of my secret fantasy, to have two guys at once. But two guys I was crazy about. I was crazy about Connor, the last week of hardly leaving the bed had more than proven that, but Marcus... he seemed so cold and withdrawn. He was definitely attractive, but I just couldn't wrap my head around seeing him like I saw Connor. It just wasn't there. I didn't feel it."
"Well I'm not going to sleep with someone I'm not attracted to," I said, "and I cant just invent an attraction to Marcus."
"So talk to him then," Connor said. "Because the next time you and I have sex, Marcus is going to be there too. If it's now, or if it's when your mating heat happens, he's going to be there."
I sighed and leaned my head against Connor's big shoulder. I could try talking to Marcus at least. There was no harm in that. I hoped.
Later that day I found my way over to Marcus' wing of the mansion. It was eery walking all those long halls, so quiet, all the doors firmly shut. A giant house and just the three of us in it. It was the loneliest thing I could imagine.
It occurred to me then that I had no idea where I was going. I hadn't thought to ask exactly where Marcus' quarters were. It had never really occurred to me that I would need to know that. But now that I was there, in Marcus's wing of the mansion, the whole place was deathly quiet, and I felt like I was intruding.
I had tried to convince Connor to come with me, to make it less awkward, but he had insisted that I go by myself. It was something that I had to do myself, according to him. I was still pretty sure it wasn't even something I wanted to do in the first place though.
Eventually I heard music coming from a door, slightly ajar, up ahead. It was classical music of some sort. I knocked on the door quietly, then poked my head in.
Marcus looked up. The room was a laboratory of some kind. Marcus was bent over a table filled with test tubes and petri dishes and one very big microscope, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, doing something that looked scientific.
"Sorry," I said, "if I'm interrupting I can come back later."
"No," Marcus said, "not at all, please come in. Is everything okay? Do you need something?"
"Well, I just wanted to talk to you. Connor told me about the conversation the two of you had, and..."
"You have some concerns," Marcus said, finishing my thought.
"Yea, you could say that."
"Why don't you take a seat."
I came over and pulled another chair out from the table, being very sure that I wasn't disturbing anything. It all looked so delicate.
"What are you doing in here anyway?" I said.
"Trying to better understand werewolf genetics."
"You're still working on trying to find a cure?" I said, looking over the table again, wondering if somewhere in there was the answer to all my prayers.
"No," Marcus shook his head, "no I stopped looking for that a long time ago Sara. Now I look for a way to make more werewolves, so that we can increase our numbers and kill the vampires."
"Is that the only thing that matters to you?" I couldn't believe what he was saying. All his resources, he could be looking for a way to have a normal life, and instead he only looked for more ways to inflict pain.