Always Summer (24 page)

He smiled,
and stepped forward, pulling me back in to hold me tightly to him.

My nerves
were at war with my stomach, and in that moment, whilst I attempted to analyze
things, my brain kicked into gear and managed to unfortunately remember that I
had something to tell him... something that we needed to air before our
relationship continued past this very point.
 
I groaned.
 
So he loosened his
hold and held me out.

“
Summer
?” he asked nervously.
 
“Not having regrets are you?” he squeaked.
 
His face was all concern... his hands were
shaking, and his breathe was ragged, as though he could cry; but I knew it was
fear that was shutting him down.

Finally my
voice and brain connected...

“No!” I
assured him, looking him directly in the eyes and placing my hands on his
chest... his face relaxed.
 
“Look, I
really am nervous about all this... this is big!
 
It’s not like we’re walking down the halls at
high school holding hands and pashing in-between classes.” I reasoned.
 
“We are living together!
 
We’re sharing a bed tonight... and all this
has completely bypassed the whole boyfriend and girlfriend stage and headed straight
into de facto status.” I explained.

Blake
looked concerned, perhaps a little hurt.
 
“Do you want to stick to individual bedrooms?” he asked meekly.

“No... I...
Look.” I said, breathing a moment to collect my thoughts.
 
“We just need to get some dialogue out of the
road before I can feel more comfortable.
 
We haven’t talked about the Jordan thing... I want to get that out of
the way.” I said uncomfortably.

He was
uncomfortable about this too.

“Okay.” He
replied, pulling my hands off his chest by holding onto my wrists.

“Just so as
there aren’t any secrets or anything... so you know everything, and we can move
forward.”
 
I explained.
 
I noted that I had begun to perspire.
 
I felt very worried about what this information
would do to him, but I was more scared of what would happen if he found out
from a means other than me.
 
If I got
this out, perhaps things could soon return to normal, and my nerves would
slowly dissipate.

“First, I
need a shower.” I said.

“Okay...
here’s what we’ll do.” Blake said, maintaining a distance between us, but
dropping my wrists and holding the top of my arms, like a protective
parent.
 
“You have a shower, I’ll
finalize our wireless setup for our internet; and then I’ll have a shower, and
meet you at the dining table for our discussion.” He looked at me with a questioning
gaze.
 
“Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah.”
I
answered him, nodding bleakly.

The shower
was glorious.
 
I used our ensuite
shower.
 
There was of course a full bath
and shower bathroom down the hallway, but I wanted to use our ensuite for my
first shower.
 
The raspberry and mango
body wash I used smelt sweet and enticing, and the vanilla bean shampoo and
conditioner made me think of home baked goods.

Stepping
out of the shower smelling appealing, I already felt better about the nerves of
living with Blake... funny how a shower could make your troubles seem
smaller.
 
However, my fear over the
Jordan issue was still very real.

I had
thrown my other clothes in the hamper, and now I put on my lilac blue, lacy bra
and panties set I had bought while staying with my sister.
 
We had spent quite a lot of time buying new
lingerie.
 
Sally had a thing about never
having enough pretty lingerie; I wasn’t complaining... it meant she knew where
all the bargains were.

Blake’s
parents were paying for the vast majority of our rental; and all his college
expenses were provided for by a college fund his parents had put money in for
him over the years; even so, he had still needed to secure a financial
scholarship for academic merit, which would provide him with sufficient money
for other living expenses.
 
I on the
other hand had to rely on a scholarship that paid for my tuition and texts
only, whilst Debbie and Max had demanded they pay for the remaining component
of the rent.
 
We were due to get a
boarder in and sublet the third room to help us pay for our electricity and other
bills.
 
We were responsible for setting
this up ourselves.

I had
originally designed to get a part-time job, to provide me with cash to survive
and eat... however, my agency had already confirmed a decent contract with me
and noted my schedules; and they were very determined to work alongside me, in
order to give me work placements that wouldn’t interfere with my studies.
 
I had to admit that the agency was rather
amazing like that... So, I would see my first payment in about a month.

Stepping
out of the ensuite, with my faded azure blue, light summer dress covering my
lacy intimates, I walked out into the living area.

“I’m out of
the shower.” I said with a raised voice.

“Okay.”
Blake said... coming out from the kitchen... he quickly pecked me on my cheek,
before making his way swiftly into our room.
 
I sat on our couch, looking around my new home.

Blake.

When
Summer
gave me that whole spiel about needing to talk...
I’ll be honest; my panic levels began to rise.
 
I had no idea what she was going to say, and how hurt or murderous
toward Jordan I was going to become.
 
I
just had to keep reminding myself that she had moved in with me... that she
hadn’t backed out of our relationship at any point this week.
 
That she said that she still wanted to be
with me, and that her eyes hadn’t lied when she’d said these things.
 
Whatever she had to say needed to be said...
I needed to deal with it, and then we could start this relationship, from this
point - the right way!

I
completely got why she was nervous... I was too, but for me, my nervousness was
akin to Christmas morning; not quite knowing what you were unwrapping, but
knowing the people around you knew you so well, and loved you so much, that you
were going to love the gift.

I got into
the shower and could smell the traces of
Summer
.
 
I decided to stick to my own ‘
Molton
Brown
’ body wash, especially since the
spicy scent was something Summer not only liked, but one I could tolerate
having to smell all the time too.

Since we
were unlikely to go out to dinner, having decided over lunch to shop for
groceries this afternoon; and
Summer
had changed into
a little dress, I decided to wear my well worn raven colored,
G-Star
loose fitted shorts and a simple
round neck, white fitted t-shirt.
 
I was
a boxer guy, so you could just see the waist band of my ‘
Calvin Klein
’s’ before I’d pulled down my t-shirt.

I looked in
the mirror and wondered whether I should shave.
 
I thought about
Summer
, and decided if things
went well tonight, I’d kick myself if I hadn’t.
 
So I ran the hot water, pulled out my razor and shaving cream from
amongst the collection of toiletry necessities, which remained stored behind
the vanity mirror, and then set about shaving my face.

I thought
about the last time
Summer
and I had collided
intimately.
 
When I got to touch her...
she was so smooth... silky.
 
I knew she
frequented a day spa in Northport; it was a girl’s day out with her foster mother
Debbie and more often than not Julie.
 
I
also knew that she had been to one in New York with her sister, before she
left.
 
She was bragging about the
incredible massage she’d had.
 
I wondered
what would be around here; however, considering her imminent modeling work;
she’d need to keep on top of all that grooming... lucky for me!

Splashing
some aftershave over my mug... I ignored the quick and slight sting of it.
 
I gave myself a once over in the mirror,
before leaving the ensuite.
 
I had
already cleaned up after myself, as had
Summer
before
me, so I made my way out of our bedroom and sat down at the dining table, where
Summer now sat chewing on her thumbnail.

I smiled at
her and slouched back in the chair opposite her, attempting to appear
relaxed.
 
Her body language though
screamed nervousness.
 
It was putting me
on edge.

I took a
deep breath, “Okay... let’s get this done.
 
Tomorrow we have Orientation, and we really need to hit the ground
running.” I said.

Summer
looked up through her eyelashes at me... I was now nervous as all hell.
 
My anger was on standby, and I had to remind
myself that I had to be careful with it... Summer was not my parents, or my
sister for that matter.
 
There were some
things she didn’t really know about me, regardless of my hints at them; even if
she’d seen me angry before... really, she’d seen nothing.

“Where do
you want me to start?” she asked.

Okay, so I
had to admit that I’d originally told her we would need to talk about this, so
maybe I should get this off my chest too.

“Why did
you go and see him?” I asked curiously.

“I wanted
to know why he hit you.” She replied.

I gave her
a quizzical look, “You know why he hit me... he hit me because he found out
about us.” I reasoned.

“I mean,
why he had to use violence when he found out about us, rather than just talking
to you about it.” She explained.

She was
looking at the floor... her feet were up on the chair and she was hugging her
knees.
 
It was a defensive position, and
it unnerved me; however, so far, this wasn’t too bad.

“And what
did he say, when you asked him?” I asked.
 

“I didn’t
get to ask him.” She answered.

I could
feel my eyebrows scrunch up and my eyes squint... “So what did you ask?”

“I... he
asked me questions instead.” She explained, mumbling slightly.

This wasn’t
going as well as I’d hoped... but it wasn’t in the toilet yet... so, soldiering
on I asked, “What questions?”

She let out
a big sigh, and then took a deep breath; then another... and another.

Her
avoidance was unacceptable... she had called this discussion to air the
stupidity of the Jordan shit, and now she wasn’t talking.

“Summer,
what did Jordan ask you... what did you two talk about?” I repeated
myself.
 
I was travelling beyond nervous
now... her hesitation was scaring me... and I was quickly descending into
anger; it was imminent.

She took
another breathe.

“He asked
me why I hurt him.
 
Then he asked me why
I got with you.
 
Then he asked me if you
and I were fucking before I broke up with him.” She said, taking yet another
deep breath, before she continued, “He asked me to return to him... he
pleaded.” She said dropping her head back to her knees.

I breathed
deeply; this wasn’t far from what I’d expected.
 
But
Summer’s
behavior was indicating there was
more.
 
A sinking feeling preceded my next
question.

“Did he
touch you?” I asked hesitantly... I didn’t really want to know this, but I knew
that if he had, I really needed to know.

Summer
didn’t say anything... just sat there, head bent down, tears now dropping from
her chin... the sinking feeling had now become a sinkhole in my stomach,
sucking down everything that had previously been there.

“Summer?
 
How did he touch you?” I demanded... I
growled!
 
It wasn’t a question of if he
touched her now... it was evident by her composure that he had.
 
I wanted to know the circumstances, so when I
drove back to Northport that night and killed him; I knew how to formulate my
argument to the cops afterward.

“Summer?”
I now shouted.

She looked
up at me, surprised at my vehemence.

“He kissed
me.” She replied, quietly.

“What do
you mean he kissed you?
 
And how did you
react?” I hissed.
 
I wanted to know that
she told him to fuck off; I wanted to know that she kicked him in the balls...
I didn’t want to find out she’d kissed him back... oh no!
 
That would be a nuclear meltdown!