Always You (A Magnolia Falls Novel) (15 page)

“I would give anything to make you happy. You know that, right?”

She turned her teary eyes up to him and nodded. Part of her didn’t want him to let her go, while the other part, the responsible part, knew it was for the best.

“Putting distance between us won’t make you happy. We’ve already spent ten years apart. Don’t make us waste more time being apart and unhappy when we can be together. Let me help you.” He was pleading with her. She wanted to say ‘yes,’ but remembering the fear that had gripped her when she didn’t know where Jessica was kept her from doing so.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Zack.”

His hands fell away from her arms to his sides, and he stepped back. He stood looking into her eyes, still pleading while letting go. After several moments he leaned over and laid a gentle kiss on her lips. “If you need me, you know where to find me,” he whispered before he walked away from her.

Diana held onto the railing as she watched him drive away. She couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face. Why did it hurt so much to do the right thing?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Zack sat among his friends playing poker. He had been in a foul mood all week, and the last place he wanted to be was here, playing poker with a bunch of guys. At least poker didn’t require talking. Even with a shrink sitting among them. Gavin and his cousin, Jayce,
had been carrying the little bit of conversation all night. How they had managed to talk him and Logan into this was beyond him. It was obvious they had both been blindsided by a Mathison sister and weren’t fit company for anyone. Diana and Liz had gotten it into their heads the men in their life were nothing but distractions. Well, he didn’t want to just be a distraction to Diana, so if that’s all she considered him to be, then they were better off apart. Now, if only he could convince his heart of that fact. He rubbed his chest without realizing it. “You, too,” Logan said throwing a card on the table so Gavin could give him another one.

“Dudes, I think the Mathison sisters took your man cards,” said Gavin.

“Yep and it’s time to get them back,” his cousin agreed.

Zack shook his head. “Nope. I got it right here.” He tapped his pocket.

“Me, too.” Logan pulled out his wallet and flashed it open, showing them a non-existent card.

“Right. Zack, you’ve been grouching everyone out all around town. When you leave your clinic that is,” Gavin said.

Logan chuckled. “What are you laughing at?” Zack turned to him. “I hear you’ve been cooking up a storm, which is what you said you do when you are stressed.” Zack put his cards down and leaned back in his chair. “So tell us, what has you so stressed? Could it be a tall, beautiful blonde?”

Logan discarded two more cards and didn’t even look up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He picked up the cards Gavin threw at him.

“Sure you don’t.” Zack turned his attention back to his cards. “Thanks for dinner the other night. Jillian brought home left overs, lots of left overs.”

“Bite me,” Logan said.

Logan had been captivated by a Mathison girl. He had seen the same stunned look in the other man’s eyes when they looked at Liz that he himself felt when he was with Diana. A man didn’t recover from a Mathison girl that quickly, if ever. He was living proof of that.

“You both have it bad,” Jayce said.
“My opinion, you should man up and go get your women.”

“They don’t want us. And I’m not about to beg. How about you?” Logan asked Zack.

“Nope. I don’t beg.”
Liar,
a little voice in his head told him. If he thought for one second Diana would listen he would get down on his knees and beg her to take him back. He loved her and would do whatever it took to get her back. Even if it meant humbling himself on his knees.

“If they aren’t smart enough to realize what great guys you two are, then you are better off without them,” Gavin said. He stood up, walked to the fridge and pulled out four bottles of beer.

He handed them around to the men. Each one twisted the tops off the new bottle. Zack took a drink, wishing he could ask Gavin for something stronger, holding back because doing so would be a telling sign he needed the numbing effect to forget about Diana for a few hours. His eyes met Gavin’s, who just shook his head, smiled and reached behind him to grab a bottle of whiskey. Scary how Gavin always seemed to know what he was thinking.

***

The next day Zack stumbled into Ray’s diner needing strong coffee. That bottle of whiskey didn’t quite achieve the desired effect, but at least he had slept all night, which was more than he had done since the day he left Diana standing on her front porch. He slid onto a stool at the counter and wordlessly Ray put a cup in front of Zack and filled it. “You might want this to go.” Ray nodded toward the front door just as the bell chimed. Zack looked back over his shoulder to see Diana and her sisters walk in. He caught Diana’s eye for a moment before she looked away.

“Uncle Zack!” Jessica ran to him. His head pounded at the loud noise, but he reached out and swooped her up into his arms. “I’ve missed you. Why haven’t you come to visit us? Diana misses you, too. She is always sad.”

He looked over Jessica’s head and met Diana’s eyes again. “I miss you, too, sweetheart. How about you come over to the house for a play date with Cassidy this week.”

“Yay. Can we play with the puppies in the puppy playroom?”

“You sure can.” He set her down on the floor. “I’ll have auntie Jillian set it up.”

“Okay. Bye, Uncle Zack. I’ll see you later.” She waved her little hand at him and went to sit with her sisters.

Zack turned back to Ray. “Can I get this to go, please?” He could not be in the same room with Diana and not have her by his side. He wanted to go to her, pull her into his arms, and kiss her until she admitted she needed him as much as he needed her. Because need him she did. He was sure of it.

Ray set a to-go cup in front of him. “Just talk to her, man.”

Zack pulled out money and set it on the counter. “It’s not what she wants.” He picked up his coffee and left the diner.

***

One month. It had been the longest month of her life. During that time she had managed to avoid Zack most of the time, seeing him in town only twice. She had been spending every waking moment with Jessica. She was in the office only during school hours. Liz picked her up from school every day, and they would all meet at Diana’s office. The three would then spend all afternoon together.

They were bonding as sisters and becoming a closer family. She should be happier. She was miserable, and so was Liz. Logan was still there, but the sisters had been spending all their time together so they only saw Logan at mealtimes. Even during the day Liz wasn’t home, she had started spending one day per week as a volunteer in Jessica’s classroom, and the other days she was working with the local dance instructor, Mrs. Betty, to set up modeling classes.

Her treatment was going well and was almost at an end. Logan would be leaving at the end of the week.

Tonight Diana and Liz were sitting in the living room. Jessica was asleep, safe in her bed upstairs. Logan had also retired to his own room. The sisters were each drinking a glass of wine when they heard a knock on the front door. They looked at each other. “Who could that be at this late hour?” Diana asked. They both stood to go see who it was.

Diana opened the door when she saw their friends standing there. “What are you two doing here so late?” She asked Jillian and Mandy.

“You both need an intervention,” said Jillian as she set down a tray of cupcakes.

“And we decided it was long overdue.” Mandy pulled out ice cream, bowls, and spoons from her bag.

“Why am I always at the receiving end of interventions?” Liz moaned.

“Why exactly do we need an intervention?” Diana asked.

“Because you two have been moping around for weeks now, and it’s time to stop.”

Mandy scooped the New York Cheesecake ice cream into bowls and handed them around.

“We have not been moping,” Liz said. She took a bite of the ice cream and closed her eyes. “
Mmm
, this is my favorite.”

“I know,” said Mandy.

Jillian placed a cupcake in front of each of them. Diana picked hers up and took a bite. “Strawberries and cream. If this is how you stage an intervention, then feel free to intervene at least once a week.”

Jillian and Mandy settled into their seats. “This is not a joking matter. It’s serious business,” Jillian said.

“We are doing just fine. We’ve spent the last month getting our lives in order, and we are doing great. Aren’t we, Liz?”

Liz ran her hand through her hair and set down her ice cream. “Well. You have been a little bit mopey.”

“Mopey? I have not been moping. I’ve been happy.” Diana punctuated the air with her ice cream spoon.

“Zack is miserable.”

The spoon holding the bite of ice cream Diana was about to take stopped midway between the bowl and her mouth. “He is?”

Jillian nodded. “And so are you. Admit it.”

“Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I should know.” Liz said, then took a bite of her cupcake. She held the cupcake up meaningfully.

“Wanting to devote more time to my little sister who is now an orphan is not a problem.” Diana defended herself. Why couldn’t they see the sacrifice she had made to be there for Jessica?

“She has noticed how unhappy you are, too. When she was at the house the other day she asked Zack why he hadn’t come over. She said he was the only one who can make you laugh, and she misses seeing you laugh.”

Diana put her ice cream down on the table and dropped her face in her hands. The tears started again. She had cried more in the few months since her parents died than she had in her entire life. She was a watering pot, and she didn’t like it. She felt the sofa sink down on either side of her. Arms from both sides were rubbing her back and arms. “What Jessica needs most is for you to be happy. You can’t make her happy if you are not,” Jillian said.

“And you can’t be happy without Zack,” Liz said.

“Look who’s talking?” Mandy sat on the floor in front of them. “You relegated Logan to the therapist-only role, and you’re just as unhappy,” she said to Liz.

Liz shrugged. “That’s where he wants to be. Not my fault.”

“You can’t deny since Jessica went missing you also started to push him away.”

Liz sat back and leaned her head against the sofa, closing her eyes. “That day, when Jessica came to me asking me to spend time with her, I said ‘no.’ And do you know why I said no? Because Logan and I had just had another argument. I wanted more than a therapist—patient relationship. He didn’t, even though I knew he cared. I was so upset with him I brushed Jessica off. If anything had happened to her I would never have forgiven myself.”

Mandy squeezed onto the sofa next to Liz and put her arm around her. “Nothing happened. The fact she was found within minutes of raising the alert shows that in this town, nothing bad will happen. You two forget you are not alone. You have us and a whole town of people who are ready to step up and love and care for Jessica.”

“You also have two men with strong shoulders that can help you carry the load you each have,” Jillian said.

Diana and Liz looked at each other and smiled. “I guess we’ve been pretty dumb, huh?” Diana said.

“I could have told you that about yourself. Zack loves you. He has always loved you. Being you are the smart sister, I have to tell you, pushing him away was not too smart.”

Diana nudged Liz with her shoulder. “You are much smarter than you like to let on. You can’t fool me with the dumb blonde act.”

“It’s no act. Who is the one who went and gave herself an eating disorder and almost died?”

“Yes, but you’ve also been working very hard to get well,” Diana said.

“And you’ve made so much progress. Look at all the ice cream and cupcake you ate?” Jillian said as she reached over and squeezed Liz’s hand.

Liz squeezed back. “I’m glad I have you all.”

Diana looked at the three women sitting on the sofa with her and smiled. They had formed a bond that would last the rest of their lives. Who needed men? An image of Zack ran through her head, and she rubbed her chest where her heart had been aching since the day he walked away from her.

“Go to him,” urged Jillian.

“I do need him.” Diana could almost feel a lifting of the pain at the prospect of seeing Zack again.

“And he needs you. Besides, he’s been in the foulest mood, and if you don’t go back to him, I think I may never speak to my brother again. I just might kick him out of his own house.”

They all laughed. “I can kick Diana out then they would be forced to seek refuge somewhere together,” Liz said.

“
Hmm
, an idea. But I think Diana is seeing the light. Or am I wrong?” Jillian asked.

“I see it shining bright and right in front of me.”

“Good,” said Mandy. “Now it’s your turn.” She was looking at Liz. “When does he leave?”

“At the end of the week.” Liz wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.

“Go to him. Give him another chance,” Mandy urged her.

“I happen to know he is upstairs right now,” Diana said.

“Since your treatment will be officially over in a matter of days, he can’t use the whole therapist patient excuse,” Jillian said.

“That’s what scares me,” said Liz. “What if he really doesn’t feel anything for me and his ethics were a way for him to let me down easy?”

“I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. He cares,” Diana assured her.

“I’ve never had to work so hard for a man.” Liz said, a small smile touching her lips.

The other three women rolled their eyes at her, making her laugh. “Go. Before we kick you out of the house.”

Diana and Mandy pushed her until she got up off the sofa. “Okay, okay. I’ll go. But if he turns me down I’m blaming you all when I relapse.” They all looked at each other, worried. “No, I was just kidding. Bad joke, yes I know. I’m not going to relapse. Especially not over a man.”