Amanda Ashley (16 page)

“It won't work, Kara,” he said, his voice as cold
as stone. “I was a fool to think otherwise. The differences between us are too vast.”

“No!”

He turned away from her then, his steps heavy as he walked toward the door. “Good-bye, Kara.”

“I love you, Alex. Please don't leave me.”

Her words stopped him, but he didn't turn around, only stood there with his head bowed, his back toward her.

Crossing the floor, she went to stand behind him. Slowly, gently, she brushed her lips over the raised ridge of flesh along his spine, felt him tremble at her touch.

“I love you,” she said again. “I didn't mean to hurt you. Say you forgive me.”

“I forgive you,” he said quietly. But he still didn't turn around.

“Alex, please . . .”

“Please what? I can't change what I am.”

“I don't want you to change. I'm not asking you to change. Only to love me, as I love you.”

Slowly, he turned to face her. “Tell me what you want, Kara. But know this—if I stay, it's for always. Not just until it's safe for you to go home. My people are not like yours. We mate for life, not for the moment or until we find someone new, but for always.”

“For always,” Kara murmured.

“Then I pledge you my love, my life, for as long as I live. From this night forward, you will be my woman. I will defend you to the death, and love you until my last breath.”

They were the most beautiful words she had ever heard.

“Will you be my woman, Kara Elizabeth Crawford?”

“Yes, Alexander. And I promise to love you, and only you, for as long as I live. I'll stay by your side in good times and bad. I'll share your laughter, and your tears, and I'll love you until my last breath.”

“Kara . . .” He whispered her name as he slanted his mouth over hers. She was his now, always and forever his. Where he came from, marriage was an exchange of vows between a man and a woman. No license was required. No minister or magistrate was needed, though some preferred to be married within one of ErAdona's magnificent cathedrals, to have friends and family in attendance. But the marriage itself took place in the hearts of the man and the woman. Kara was his now, always and forever his, bound to him by the words she had spoken, as he was bound to her.

Sweeping her into his arms, he carried her back to bed. “You must tell me if I hurt you.”

“You won't.”

He placed her on the mattress and sank down beside her. “It's been a long time since I've been with a woman.”

“That's all right,” she murmured, winding her arms around his neck. “It's been a long time since I've been with a man.”

“How long?” Jealousy rose up within him, hotter than the boiling waters of the ErAdonian Sea. “How many?”

“None.”

His eyes widened with disbelief. “You've never been with a man before?”

“No.”

Alex frowned. If she'd never been with a man, she
probably wasn't using any method of birth control. On ErAdona, a woman took a capsule which prevented conception for a year; if she decided she wished to become pregnant before the year was over, she took a second capsule to reverse the effects of the first. A similar capsule was used by the men. But here on Earth, methods of birth control were less sophisticated.

“What's wrong?” she asked.

“I don't want you to get pregnant.”

“Pregnant!” She'd been so caught up in the first blush of love, so eager for his touch, she hadn't given a thought to getting pregnant. Unwanted pregnancies were something that happened to other people.

Alex nodded. “It could happen, although I'm not sure it's possible.”

“Why not?”

“We're from different worlds, Kara. It might not be possible for us to create a new life.” He tucked his finger beneath her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Does it make a difference? If it does, tell me now.” Before it's too late, he thought, knowing that once he possessed her, he would never let her go.

“I don't know.” She'd never really given it a great deal of thought. She'd always assumed that someday she'd get married, but she'd never given much thought to having children. She'd just presumed they'd come along in their own good time—a handsome little boy and a pretty little girl.

She looked at Alex and imagined having his child. A little boy, with Alex's black hair and dark eyes. And a tiny stripe down its back . . .

“Kara?”

“It doesn't matter,” she said, pushing her fears
aside. “I love you, Alex. I'll love your children if God grants them to me. And if not . . .” She shrugged. “If not, then I'll be content to be your wife.”

His arm tightened around her, drawing her closer, as he uttered a silent prayer that she would never regret her decision.

Kara felt his lips move in her hair, felt the warmth of his breath against her neck. In that instant, she wished they could make love, but Alex was right. It was better to wait until there was no danger of her becoming pregnant. “I wish . . .”

“I know.” A sigh of frustrated longing swept through him. “For tonight, just let me hold you.”

Kara nodded as she settled into his embrace. “Yes,” she whispered. “Hold me and never let me go.”

They slept late. It was early afternoon when Kara woke to find herself pressed against Alex, her legs entwined with his, her head on his shoulder. She studied his face for a long while. He was so beautiful. It was hard to believe that he was over two hundred years old. Hard to believe he was from another planet. In a small way, she could sympathize with his plight. He had been sent away from his home, forbidden to return. She was in exile, too, she mused, but at least she had hope of returning home, of seeing her loved ones again.

Strange as it seemed, she thought she might be content to stay in his mountain retreat, in his arms, for the rest of her life.

She closed her eyes for a moment, wondering what it was going to be like to spend her life with this man. She was his now, and he was hers, as
surely as if they had been married in front of an ordained priest. She thought about what'd he'd said the night before, about not having children. How would she feel in ten years, twenty, watching herself age while he stayed young?

With a sigh, she pushed her troublesome thoughts away. She was bound to Alex now, bound by vows of love and commitment. Whatever problems they might encounter in the future paled beside the more important problems of the present—like Dale Barrett wanting her blood.

When she opened her eyes again, it was to find Alex watching her, his dark eyes filled with tenderness.

“Kara.” He whispered her name as his fingers trailed over her cheek. “Do you know how empty my life was until I met you?”

She nodded, lost in the yearning she could see swirling in the depths of his eyes. Black eyes that seemed to see into the furthest reaches of her heart and soul.

“It was the same for me,” she murmured. “I think I've been waiting for you my whole life. Maybe, deep inside, I knew you would come.” She laughed softly. “But that's impossible, isn't it?”

“Is it?”

Looking at him, feeling his nearness, it didn't seem impossible at all. “What are we going to do now?”

“Whatever you want, Kara.”

Her gaze slid away from his. “I want to go to the store.”

Alex arched one brow. “The store?” he asked, pretending he didn't know what she was talking about. “Why do you need to go to the store? We have
enough supplies to last a week or so.”

She punched him in the arm. “We don't have
everything
we need.”

He watched a tide of color wash into her cheeks, and he grinned. “Ah,” he said. “There's an all-night drug store not far from here. I'll go as soon as it's dark.”

“I could go now,” Kara remarked, wondering if he thought it brazen of her to suggest such a thing.

Alex shook his head. “Tempting as the thought is, I don't want you going anywhere alone.” He grinned down at her. “But I'm glad you don't want to wait.”

After a late lunch, they set about cleaning up the mess in the cavern's main room. Kara glanced at Alex, awed by the strength the man possessed. The table and chair had been smashed beyond repair; the sofa had been ripped apart as if it had been made of toothpicks instead of solid wood and leather. The only item not completely destroyed was the bookcase. She shuddered to think of his rage turned against a living creature.

She saw Alex go suddenly still and knew that he had divined her thoughts.

“You needn't be afraid of me, Kara,” he said quietly. “I would never harm you. You must believe that if you believe nothing else.”

“I'm not afraid of you, Alex.
You
must believe that.” She smiled at him. “I've rarely seen you during the day time.”

Alex grunted softly. “Unlike your vampires, I am not compelled to sleep during the day. I need only stay out of your sun.”

Their gazes held for several seconds, both thinking
of the night to come, and then they turned back to the task at hand.

When they finished cleaning up the debris, there was nothing left in the cavern's main room save for the bookcase and the bear rug.

Kara glanced at the empty bookcase, at the pile of ashes in the hearth. “I'm sorry about your books.”

“It doesn't matter.”

Kara felt the pull of his gaze, felt her heart begin to beat faster as he moved slowly toward her. Energy pulsed between them, throbbing in time to the beat of her heart. Warmth engulfed her; she felt herself drowning in the fathomless depths of his ebony-hued gaze.

A low groan escaped his lips as he drew her into his arms. “I've been fighting the urge to hold you all day,” he said, his voice low and sandpaper rough. He rained kisses over her cheeks, her eyelids, the delicate curve of her throat. “Tell me to stop, Kara. Tell me how dangerous it is for us to be together.”

“We've got to stop,” she said agreeably, but her arms wrapped around his neck and her body molded itself to his until she could feel his heartbeat pounding in rhythm with hers.

“Yes,” he said, his voice like a hot wind against her throat. “We've got to stop.”

Lifting her into his arms, he carried her to the hearth and placed her on the rug, then followed her down to the floor. “Kara,
natayah
. . . do you know how desperately I need you?”

“I know.” She brushed a lock of hair from his face, traced the shape of his mouth with her fingertips.

“Make me stop, Kara. I can't do it on my own. I've wanted you too long, waited too long . . .”

His gaze burned into hers, hotter than the sun at noonday, brighter than the tail of a comet.

“Push me away,” he said, “now, before it's too late. I don't want to hurt you.”

“You won't.”

“You don't know that. You don't know what I'm capable of.”

“I'm not afraid.” Kara pressed herself closer, felt the very real evidence of his desire. His need inflamed her own and she moaned softly as she writhed beneath him, silently begging him to satisfy the sweet desire he had stirred within her.

Alex stared deep into her eyes, the hunger for her flesh pulsing through him. She was his woman now, and he burned with the knowledge that she was his, that he could hold her and touch her. And with that knowledge came the fear that he might do her harm, that he would take and take until he had drained her of energy, of life itself. Not that he would deliberately harm her, but sometimes, caught up in the heat of passion, he forgot how fragile these earth creatures were, how weak their hold on life, how easily they broke in his hands.

“Alex . . .”

With a muttered curse, he looked away, breaking eye contact. As much as he wanted her, needed her, he would not take her, not without the means to prevent conception. To his knowledge, none of his race had ever mated with an earthling. In his brief encounters with other women, he had always used a contraceptive to ensure that no pregnancy would result. He had no idea if he could father a child with an earth woman, or what the consequences to Kara
might be should his seed take root within her womb.

The thought of hurting her cooled his ardor and gave him the strength to draw away. Her cry of protest rang in his ears as he stood up and left the cavern.

He watched the last rays of the setting sun vanish beneath a cloak of twilight. Head tilted back, he stared into the heavens, overcome by a yearning for home, for that which was familiar and forever lost. Two hundred years he had lived on this planet, and he was still a stranger. Two hundred years since he had allowed a woman to hold him, to love him.

He felt her presence behind him, caught her scent on the wind stirring through the pines.

“Alex?”

“Go back into the cavern, Kara. You're not safe with me.”

“I'm not afraid.”

“I am. I can't be near you and not touch you. I can't touch you and not want to make you mine.”

“It'll be dark soon,” she reminded him. “And then . . .”

Slowly, he turned to face her. “Kara, you know what I am. How can you want me to touch you?”

“I love you.” She shook her head. “I love you. Nothing else matters.” She grinned up at him, hoping to erase his sour expression. “I've been your wife since yesterday, and I'm still a virgin. Don't you think it's time we remedied that?”

“Past time,” he agreed.

It seemed he was gone for days, but in truth it was less than an hour. Surely the fastest anyone
had ever traveled down the narrow mountain road and back again.

Kara felt suddenly shy as Alex swung her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. The heat of his gaze lit the candles on the wall, and then he was lowering her to the bed, stretching out beside her.