Amelia's story (12 page)

Mother lo
cked us all in the living room.
Kier
an had got into the back garden
and he pressed his face against the living room window, shouting that we were all going to di
e. We all started crying louder. I was calling for our mother
and Kieran screamed
,
“
S
he can’t help you
,
I’m going to set fire to the house, there’s no way out for any of you
now!” He started a small fire.
M
other had escaped to a
neighbour
’s house to use their phone to call the police
,
and it was not long before the police arrived and arrested Kieran
once
again. I truly believed we were all going to die that day.
He was again charged, but for reasons unknown to me
, M
other dropped the charges with promises from Kieran that he would change and would no longer drink. It was like they could n
ot function without each other;
they seemed to enjoy all the drama they caused around them on a daily basis. Mother tried to convince us that he was a changed man and that he wanted to be a proper father to us all, that he was going to get a new job and all would be
well. Jake and I said nothing—
there was nothing we could say but go along with her
wishes. We knew it wasn’t true;
nothing would change, it never did,
and things continued to get worse. This was our abyss.
It was soon to be announced that they were to marry. Mother was trying hard to encourage us to call Kieran
“
dad
,”
but this di
d not sit well with me at all—
I didn’t want to call him dad. He was a very strange man with dark hair, big sideburns
,
and a temper that could match the devil himself. He was still drinking
,
and although the fights were less frequent, they still fought and when they did it was mon
umental. Kieran was weary of me.
H
e was not in the least bit happy
that I refused to call him dad.
I had no intentions of doing so
,
as he was not worthy of the name dad as far as I was concerned. Mother was
on a short-
term high as she had found someone to relieve her
of some of her daily duties.
I
f she needed to get away or needed a brea
k, we would be left in his care.
H
e was not very good with us
,
and
he
often slapped us around or gave us the belt. This very soon formed part of our every day life.
Mother would often humiliate Kieran and goad him on purp
ose in public like a madwoman,
and he always retaliated with a beati
ng. He would snap in an instant.
They were two peas in a pod. S
he would also give as good as she got and throw pots and pans at him, yelling, screaming
,
and swearing all the whi
le shouting at us to stand back.
S
he never did this out of our earshot. They sometimes attacked each other with kitchen knives causing minor injuries to one another.
She always involved us and there were many times whe
n we got caught up in the cross
fire. I remember one particular time Jenny ended up in hospital for a few days and we were again thrust into
Social Services
care. By this time my mother was on a watch list as a person of great concern with the
Social Services
. The sad thing was
that
my mother co
uld not be reasoned with at all;
she was beyond reason,
and
if anyone tried to point out where she was going wrong or even dared to advise her on parental issues, she would fly into a mania
cal rage beyond anyone’s belief.

S
he had lashed out at Social Workers
in the past and even the police;
no one was above her attacks. It really
had
to be seen to be believed
.
I am sure she would have frightened the devil himself. As the oldest of f
our children, I was the one who
faced her wrath often
,
and even if she thought I looked at her the wrong way, she would jump on me and start hitting me like a madman. The word
eggshells
just did not cover the ground I had to walk on daily.
While
sleeping one night
,
we were woken by s
creaming coming from downstairs.
Jenny and Susie were crying in their rooms,
and
I sn
eaked
out
of my room and crawled to
Jake
’s room. H
e was awake
and
banging his head on the pillow in an attempt to block out the screams. I told Jake to come to my room; I gathered Jenny and Susie also.

Mother and Kieran were hav
ing the battle of all battles—
he was drunk beyond belief
and punching our mother
repeatedly. Jake and I went down
stairs screaming at him to stop.
M
other was swearing back at him
,
goading him further, but finally Kier
an’s temper took a step further and
he picked up the heavy yellow telephone and smashed it over our
mother’s head. Jake ran toward
him to stop him
,
but Kieran just threw him to the
side. We were all crying, and
Kieran ran out of the house.
As he
,
left the
neighbour
s
came in.
T
hey immediately rang an ambulance for our mother when they spotted her lying on the floor with blood gushing from her head. Then they phoned the police.
Mother’s head was covered in blood;
it was everywhere and she was rushed to hospital.
Marg
e, a
kind
neighbour, took all four of us kids in;
she was so love
ly and made us all hot milk.
W
e all slept on makeshift
beds on the floor
that night
.
The following day M
other was relea
sed from hospital and came home.
W
e were all very concerned and did everything we cou
ld to make her feel comfortable.
T
he police came
over to take her statement. S
oon after
ward,
Kieran was arrested and sent to Shrewsbury Remand Centre
.
I can safely say that we were not at all upset to see the last of him.
Over the next w
eek, things were relatively calm and M
other was recovering well. She informed us that she would have t
o go out for the whole day
and stated that when we came home from school, we were to go to
Marg
e’s house until she returned. When we
returned home from school
,
Marg
e mad
e us all a delicious stew
for dinner
and we all sat down quietly, savo
u
ring every last bit of the meal.
Once
we had
all
finished our meal we sat down to watch
,
“
Alastair and
C
rystal
T
ips
”
on television. It was getting rather late and our moth
er had not returned as expected.
I noticed
Marg
e and her husband were getting anxious and constantly looking up at the clock
on the wall
. It was after dar
k when a knock came at the door.
W
e all jumped up thinking it was our mother
,
but standing tall at the door w
ere
two policemen.
Marg
e beckoned for them to enter; we were ushered into the dining room. We waited and waited until the door opened and the two policemen came into the room
.
T
hey told us that our mother was not coming home that evening as she had been detained at Shrewsbury Remand Centre. They went on to explain that there was a Social Worker on the way and that we were going to have to spend some time at Breeton House again.
Later on that same evening
,
the Social Worker arrived and took us on th
e long journey to Breeton House.
W
e all snuggled together in the back of the car wondering what had happened to our mother this time. We later discovered that she had made her way to Shrewsbury Remand Centre
on the pretense
that
she was visiting her husband Kieran
in the hope of reconciliation.
S
he waited for him to be escorted to the visitor
’
s room
, then
on sight of him
;
she
pulled
out
a kitchen ca
rving knife
and lunged
for him, stabbing him in the arm.
S
he was herself remanded in custody to await trial.
This was the beginning of a new road for Jake, Jenny, Susie
, and I following these events. A S
ection 11 order was placed on al
l four of us until the age of sixteen
years of age. We were now permanently wards of the state
and placed on the “at risk register.” Our mother
was deemed an unfit mother not capable of taking care of her children.

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Breeton House was a small children’s home on the outskirts of Shrewsbury Town
. This
was my second stay at the home, but my first time here with all of my siblings. We arrived late
in the middle of the night. The
staff
members were pleasant enough, and
they had prepared supper for us
,
which we ate gratefully while standing around a large oak table in the large kitchen, drinking hot milk. Dotty the cook was still there from the last time I was
t
here. A
care
worker named Gill gave us so
me nightclothes to change into.
I did not remember Gill from my first stay
,
so assume
d she was a new member of staff;
she had a kind smile and a gentle persona.
Gill then led us to our rooms and
s
aid everyone else was asleep; she
urged us to be quiet so as not to wake anyone.
I remember tha
t night as if it was yesterday.
I was so scared
of
being put into a room with four other girls (who were fast asleep)
.
I had a little bed in a corner of the room, which I ran to and buried myself beneath the sheets, crying myself to sleep. When I awoke the next morning I was too scared to leave my bed as I had soaked it during the night. I was
ten
yea
rs old and ashamed of my bedwet
ting and also scared that the other girls would taunt me, so I waited until they went down for breakfast
.
T
hen I took the sheets of
f
my bed and put them in the laundry basket outside the dorm.