American Girl On Saturn (16 page)

“But,” Emery says. “You know what I told her? I said that if I met you, I’d make you a friendship bracelet, and you would like it, and you would wear it every day.”

Benji holds up his wrist. That blue and green hand-braided bracelet looks back at me. The blue string has unraveled just a little more, but I don’t make mention of it or Emery will want to fix it or make a new one altogether.

Milo watches me with this sneaky yet adorable smile. I wish I knew what he’s thinking. Just when I think he’s about to say something, Emery cuts him off.

“One day,” she says, facing Benji as he surrenders to putting his shirt back on. “Will you get on the Twitter and tell everyone that I really am your best friend? And can you post pictures of us? And a picture of your bracelet? And tell everyone my name? On the real Twitter – not the fridge.”

Mom clears her throat from the doorway.

“Emery, honey, I’m sure Benji will tell everyone about the new friend he made during lockdown,” she says. “Now, go put your shoes on. You’re going to my crafting class with me today.”

A splash of ‘hallelujah!’ drenches Benji’s face. This lockdown may be a break from the madness of touring and crazed fans, but the poor boy hasn’t caught a break from Emery since he’s been here. I bet she babbles on even in his sleep.

Emery’s shoulders slump, and she drags herself toward the staircase, glancing back with sad eyes every few seconds hoping Mom will let her stay here with us. Mom gives her no reprieve, though, and Emery eventually trudges up the stairs, stomping each one like she’s crushing ladybugs for Jules’s next pack of cigarettes.

Mom looks back at us.

“Enjoy the silence,” she says, looking at Benji.

Benji laughs and mumbles something about catching up on sleep. He darts upstairs before Emery makes her way back down, probably hoping to escape before crossing paths with the little Saturnite again.

Mom grabs her keys and asks Milo and me to “hold things together here.” She leaves us alone in the living room.

Milo reaches over and grabs my hand.

“Looks like we’re alone again,” he says. “You ready to talk about this morning?”

This may be the scariest conversation I’ll ever have in my life. Okay, maybe not ever, but thus far, yeah. Still, this conversation has to happen, and it’s not going to get any less intimidating between now and the end of lockdown.

“Not here,” I say. “Let’s go somewhere else, and we’ll talk.”

Mom and Emery may be leaving, and I have no clue where Godfrey is, but there are still too many ears in this house for a conversation like this. Milo gestures around him then shrugs. He’s right – there is no safe place to talk.

I stand up and wave him to follow me. The treehouse is too far away from the house to hide out in right now. Anyone could see us making that long walk back across the yard. The less public we are, the better chance we have of getting through this conversation without an interruption. I don’t know what his Saturn brothers are doing, aside from Benji’s napping, but hopefully they’ll stay occupied for now.

At the top of the staircase, I see a shadow lingering in Aralie’s doorway. Tate leans out, and panic consumes his face.

“So, uh yeah, can I borrow that movie?” he asks into Aralie’s bedroom, much more loudly than necessary.

I glance back at Milo, who stoops down on the steps and motions for me to go on. I mouth the words ‘my room’ to him and continue toward my doorway without him. Tate grasps whatever DVD Aralie hands him and hurries back toward the Saturn wing off of my hallway. I leave the door open and wait. Moments after Tate’s bedroom door shuts and echoes, Milo runs into my room.

“You were right,” Milo says as soon as he closes my bedroom door. He twists the lock and glances over at me. “It’s definitely Tate.”

“He knew he was caught,” I say.

Milo leans back against the door.

“I can’t believe he hasn’t told me,” he says. “We’re Tito. He’s supposed to keep me in on these kinds of things.”

“Right,” I say. “Because you totally keep him in the loop.”

Milo attempts a sarcastic kind of face, but he totally fails because he can’t stop smiling. He strolls across my room and sits next to me on the bed.

“Well…” he says after a minute or two of silence. “This can either go one of two ways. One, I can apologize for getting ahead of myself and never bring it up again. Or two, we can figure out how to make this work.”

I take a deep breath to prepare myself for what I’m about to say. “Then we’ll make it work.”

“You’re sure about that?” Milo asks. “You don’t need time to think about it or weigh your options or think out all the pros and cons?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m definitely sure.”

“Good,” he says.

He pushes me back on the bed, his bodyweight trapping me between him and my purple bed sheets. His lips sketch a map along my jaw line until they find my mouth. Everything about the way he kisses me is perfect.

He pulls back and smiles.

“You know what?” he whispers. “Lockdown was the best thing that’s happened to me since Spaceships Around Saturn.”

I can’t help but laugh.

“Someone tried to kill you guys,” I remind him.

“I know,” he says, settling in next to me on the bed. “But we’re alive, and I met you, and things turned out okay, right?”

For now, anyway. I still don’t know how he thinks we’re going to make this work after lockdown. I’ll never see him. He’ll be constantly busy in the studio and on the road and catering to the millions of girls who adore him. By the end of the summer, I’ll be lucky if he even remembers my name.

I run my fingers through his hair then push him back so I can sit up.

“What are you going to tell your management team?” I ask.

As much as I wish I could just melt into this moment and enjoy every second that he’s here with me, I can’t stop thinking about how different it’ll be once he’s gone.

He sits next to me in silence, like he’s trying to come up with something to tell his manager because he hasn’t actually thought of it yet.

“I’ll be honest,” he says. “You’re the first real girl I’ve been able to spend time with in a while, and you like me for me, not because I’m famous and incredibly sexy.”

He smirks and waits for my reaction. When I don’t say anything, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer to him.

“I’m not
gonna stop seeing you just because lockdown ends,” he says. “And the fans will get over it. I can’t be single forever just because they like to daydream about being in your shoes. They’ll still have Benji, unless Emery kills them all.”

I can’t help but laugh. Thinking of Emery post-lockdown is a scary thing. She staked claim on Benji Bikini long ago, but now her claim has risen to a whole new level. He really is wearing her friendship bracelet. He played hide-and-seek with her, helped her spin the arrow during Twister, and taught her to like pepperonis. She truly is the envy of every Benji Baccarini fan in the universe, and she’ll make sure they all know about her.

Milo’s arm tightens around me.

“We’ll figure this out,” he reassures me.

“What about the other guys?” I ask.

“Tate’s dating your sister, so he’ll have the same issues to deal with,” he says. “I’m sure he can pass those phone numbers on to the other guys.”

“And how do we tell them? And my family?” I’m getting so far ahead of myself.

Milo smiles. “Your mom already likes me. It’ll be easy. We can tell her when she gets back if you want.”

As much as I love the idea of going public with Milo, I don’t think I’m ready. The limelight is going to be hard. The Twitter threats will pour in. There’ll be camera flashes everywhere I go. I’ll really be entering the craziness.

“Not yet,” I say. “If Mom knows, she’ll want to keep an eye on us. Let’s wait until the end of lockdown. Then Aralie and Tate can come clean too, and the four of us will fight it head on.”

He nods. “Whatever you want, Ms. Branson.”

Mom texts me a few minutes before her crafting class ends to see if anyone needs anything while she’s out. I forced Milo to sit through the first Rainwater movie on DVD while Mom and Emery were gone. Oddly, no one has come looking for us. I figure Benji’s still asleep, Aralie’s with Tate, and Noah and Jules are entertaining each other. Who knows. I don’t even care.

“Let’s go make the rounds and see if anyone needs anything,” I say, forcing myself off of my bed.

I poke my head out first, to make sure no one is spying. Then I push the door open for Milo to join me. He sees it as soon as I do.

“Why is there a cut out of Tate’s head on your door?” he asks. “I’ve seen it there a few times, but I didn’t feel right asking until now.”

“No clue,” I admit. “It keeps reappearing. Emery said that Aralie put it there.”

I peel Tate’s smiling face off of my door and return it to Aralie’s door. I wonder if this will end when lockdown is over or if I’ll forever have Tate Kingsley’s face smiling at me when I leave my bedroom.

Aralie, Jules, and Tate are downstairs playing another round of bowling on Dad’s Wii. According to Tate, Noah and Benji are both still asleep. I try to watch my sister’s body language toward Tate – and Jules, just in case – to see if I can read into a relationship, but she gives me nothing more than her arms slinging around and excited jumping each time she bowls a strike.

They basically ignore me when I ask if they need anything, so I drag Milo to the kitchen with me to make sure we’re fully stocked on everything. I hand him my phone and have him text my mom a grocery list as I dig through the cabinets and take inventory.

We’re nearly out of Oreos. Noah needs more strawberry milk, even though he’s not down here to tell me that.

“And lemons,” I say. “Tell her to get three times more than necessary.”

Benji likes lemon water. He never told us, but he always puts lemon in his water, and we’re down to the last two. I don’t think any of the Saturnite fan sites have even mentioned it. I guess maybe it’s not important enough to tell magazines, but living with him on a daily basis, I’ve caught on. I think Mom has too. She doesn’t buy lemons often, but she has lately. I wonder if she’ll miss the SAS guys when this is over.

“Anything else?” he asks, looking at my cell phone like it’s a foreign object.

“That’s got us,” I say.

He hands my phone back to me.

“It’s weird texting,” he says. “I’m finally coping with not having a phone on me, and then you suck me back in. I miss the real world.”

Oh, this boy breaks my heart. I don’t want to give him to the real world, but I hate seeing how much this hurts him.

“Hey,” I say, reaching out for his hand. “Let’s go back upstairs, and we can watch the gossip channel on YouTube that Emery and I watch. It’s all about you guys.”

It’s after midnight, but Milo is doubled-over on my bed because he can’t stop laughing at Jules and the eyebrow infection. We’re both late for our swim date, but I think Darby’s Daily Dose of Drama was what he needed to feel reconnected to reality and his fans.

Against protective-girl code, I even let him look at the zillion of tweets that his fans sent to him. He wasn’t logged into his account, and he had no online presence, so we didn’t break any lockdown rules. Most tweets were the same – girls wishing SAS would get back on tour, girls hoping they’re safe, girl begging Milo to make an online appearance so they know he’s alive, and of
course, those few “I love you, please marry me” tweets. I’ll block those girls later.

He leans over and kisses my cheek.

“You’re the best,” he whispers. “I needed that.”

“So, are we swimming or internet stalking you all night, Mr. Grayson?” I ask.

“Let me go change,” he says. “I’ll meet you down there?”

I nod and lock my door behind him. The butterflies in my stomach flare up, dancing around in silly circles like Noah does onstage in the guys’ live DVD. It’s like they know when I’m about to have alone time with Milo, and they wake up and flutter around just for the occasion. I almost don’t mind them. As long as they’re with me, they don’t have to bleed for the sunrise.

I tug at my bikini, over-thinking every inch of my body and how I look and what he’ll think. As many times as I’ve been in the pool with the guys, I’ve never felt so insecure. But after having the ‘let’s be together after lockdown’ talk with Milo, I’m critical of everything I say and do and especially how I look. I wrap my towel around me and head downstairs.

The sliding glass door swishes when I pull it back. Milo looks over his shoulder at me.

“Took you long enough,” he says. “I thought you’d changed your mind.”

Five minutes isn’t long at all in girl time. He should know this. He deals with thousands of females daily, outside of lockdown anyway. I walk over to the concrete steps, toss my towel onto a lounge chair, and step into the water.

“That’s cold,” I say, pulling my leg back out of the pool.

“C’mon, Chloe,” he groans. “Get in here, and I’ll keep you warm.”

Screw it. Chill bumps spread over my skin as I step deeper into the water. I take a deep breath and force myself to swim over him, allowing the cool water to engulf me.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and he pulls me into a kiss. A very warm kiss. His hands rub along my back. I think he makes me shiver more than the cold water does.

He keeps me close to him while we talk about Tate and Aralie, how we’ll deal with pissed off fans, and upgrading my phone for international calls and texts because we’ll need it once lockdown ends. Months ago, while living through the aftermath of the break up from hell, I never thought I’d trust a guy again this soon. Then again, I never imagined Milo coming into my life either.

He leans in to kiss me, but the kitchen light comes on through the window, and I pull away.

“Someone’s awake,” I say. “Someone’s up. Oh God. What if they come out here?”

Milo slips down in the pool, barely keeping his head above water. I stretch my neck to see through the window, but I see nothing more than a shadowy figure moving around next to the fridge. If it’s Mom and she finds me alone in the pool after midnight with Milo, I’ll have to confess. She’ll know. Moms always know.

We wait in deafening silence. It’s like my ears are ringing with extreme anxiety and anticipation. The shadow moves across the kitchen toward the glass door, and I panic.

“
Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod. They’re coming!” I whisper through my teeth.

“I can hold my breath for about two minutes, so hurry,” Milo says.

He inhales a deep breath and drops underwater. He wraps his arm around my shin and squeezes his hand into my skin. I try to relax as much as I can. I prop my elbows up on the concrete and loosen my shoulders, so maybe I can pass for ‘just lounging in the dark.’ If it’s Mom, I’ll tell her I just needed to clear my head and have some alone time. Hopefully she won’t notice the pretty boy underwater who is tangled up with my leg.

But it’s not Mom’s head that pokes outside.

“Noah!” I say, half-relieved yet half-angered at him for scaring me.

I reach down and nudge Milo’s shoulder. He doesn’t instantly come up, so I feel around for his arm and pull him. He gasps for air and blinks the water out of his eyes.