American Made (Against the Tides #2) (11 page)

“Fuck me, Gentry,” I plead. “Point proven, I need you inside of me. You wanna make my mind yours, I get that, but I need you to make my body yours tonight. Please don’t tell me no right now.”

Grabbing my waist, Gentry lifts me off the floor like I weigh nothing and sets me on the bed, dragging my panties down my legs as he stands up. My skin heats while he looks at every naked inch of my body and kicks the rest of the way out of his clothes. Nudging my knees apart, he slides one of his thighs between mine and rocks against me. Sliding his arm around my back, he moves me higher up the bed before settling his hips between my thighs.

His mouth crashes against mine and he swallows my cries when he drives into me. I reach around him and grip his ass in my hands, pulling him into me every time he pulls back. Gentry grabs my leg, hooking my knee with his elbow and drops down against me. 

“Jesus, your pussy is perfect. Why the hell did I wait so long again?” 

“Because you’re a stubborn asshole,” I joke. Pulling his hips back, he slams forward, turning my laugh into a drawn-out moan.

“As much as I’d love to live buried balls deep inside of you, it’s been a while since I’ve fucked anyone so I’m not lastin’ much longer.”

“There’s plenty of time for another round later.” I smile. Sliding my hand between us, I circle my clit but he grabs my hand and pins it to the bed beside me. Sitting back on his knees, Gentry replaces my finger with his thumb and shakes his head.

“You wanted me to fuck you, right? You wanted me to make this perfect fuckin’ body mine tonight?” I nod, trying to figure out where the hell he’s going with this. “Good, this pussy is now mine. Just like you wanted. You don’t touch it for pleasure unless I say you can. Although I can promise that most of the time I’ll say no because I’d rather be the one playin’ with it. Say, ‘Yes, Gentry’.”

I think I should feel degraded right now. Maybe I should feel used. Who the hell tells someone they can’t touch themselves? I wait for the weak feeling I get when someone takes away my power, but none of those things happen. What I do feel is wanted.

“Yes, Gentry,” I cry when he drives his cock into me again.

As he picks up the pace with his hips, he keeps it with the way his thumb circles my clit. I grip his wrist, digging my nails into his skin when I start to come. I scream his name when I do and even in the dim light that is shining in from the hallway, I can see how it makes his eyes light up.

Gentry’s body covers me after he finishes and he rolls us to the side while attempting to catch his breath. The gentleness he uses to push my hair back and touch me is a huge difference from the demanding fuck he just gave me.

For the first time ever, I willing curl into someone after sex. I tuck my head back under his chin like it was on the couch and close my eyes. This is a bigger step than I thought it was. I wanted sex and I got it, but I also got a lot more than I know what to do with along with it. I don’t know what that means, but I do know that I’m too tired to deal with it right now and I know it will still be there in the daylight. 

“Ready for this?” Rush asks, jogging up beside me. I stay silent, counting in my head to keep my heart rate even as I walk. He must take my silence as being distracted because he grabs my arm forcing me to stop and pulls me around to face him. “How bad’s the pain? Do we need to stop?”

“I’m fine.” The throbbing in my arm says otherwise, but I don’t plan on telling him that. 

“You’re lyin’. I can see it in your face. And if I can see it, everyone can.”

“It’s called determination, Rush. Do you know what pain does to me?” He continues to stare at me. I know if I don’t get a move on I’m going to be late for my final task and that will piss me off. “It drives me. Where other people feel weak because of it, I’ve learned how to use it to my advantage.”

“I don’t want you goin’ into that range and attempting those tests with a foggy mind because of it.”

I step closer to him and meet his eyes under the shade of his hat. I may look calm on the outside right now but I’m anything but. Years of training help me keep the façade in place and I’m more grateful for that right now than I ever have been before.

“My mind’s clear, don’t worry. But I’ve worked my ass off to get here. Not just today, but since I got home. I’ve retrained my body, forcin’ myself to do everything the opposite way than I always have. I’ve run drills, I’ve done simulations, I’ve hauled the dead weight of a guy twice my size up a hill by the back of his vest.” I tick things off on my fingers as I think about everything I’ve done over the past few hours. “I’ve pissed in a cup while bein’ watched. I’ve been poked and prodded, and I’ve done a psych eval. Not to mention bein’ thrown around and beat on so I could show everyone that just because I have a twat doesn’t mean I can’t hold my own. Yeah, my arm hurts, but so does the rest of my body and if you think that I’m stoppin’ now you better think again.”

“You know I’m second-in-command on this team and I can cut this off right now if I see the need, right?”

I glare at him while he stands unwavering and unaffected by what I’m saying. I didn’t know that, but it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter anyway. 

“I know how far I can push myself, Rush. I’m not there yet.”

“And I know how much shit I’ll get if I let you push yourself too far and go home hurt. Tunnel vision isn’t gonna help you around here and that’s what you have right now!”

Of course. I should have known that this would all come back around to them. Knox probably asked him to help me get a shot at this but to make sure I didn’t get it. He’s more protective than a parent and likes to shove his nose into shit that has nothing to do with him. I swear the next time I see him I’m going to chew him a new ass.

“I get that I only got this shot because of Knox and Gentry, but I’ve worked my ass off for it. If you were gonna cut this short and not give me a chance to prove myself, you should’ve done it before we even got started. Because guess what! I’m finishing with or without your permission.”

Stepping away from him, I check my watch and realize that how close I’m cutting it so I hustle toward the range that Reid, the team’s leader, pointed out. Instead of just letting things go like I hope he will so I can refocus, Rush catches up and keeps pace with me. I feel him staring at me but I keep my eyes straight ahead.

“You think I told you about this opening because of Knox and Gentry?”

“Obviously,” I spit out, shaking my head. The voice in the back of my head laughs at me, repeating every word my father ever said to me after finding out that I enlisted. No matter what I do, I never seem to be taken seriously by the men in my life. Proving myself over and over again is exhausting and I’m starting to wonder when I’ll finally just give in and give up. What I do know is that it won’t be today. “By askin’ if I needed to stop you showed exactly how much faith you actually have in me. What I don’t understand is why you guys spent the last few weeks helpin’ me if you were just gonna pull this shit.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see him shake his head. “You do know that I had to convince
them
to even let me tell you about this spot.” I finally look at him, fully expecting him to look smug about what he’s telling me, but he looks more angry than anything—like he wants to hit something. “I don’t let anyone sway my decisions because of my relationship with them. Emerson, I have access to so much technology here to help me learn about people that it would scare you. Hell, I probably know more about you than you know about yourself.”

“What are you gettin’ at?”

“I’m sayin’ that Knox and Gentry didn’t have a hand in any of this other than helpin’ you at the range and in the gym. The night we met no one would tell me what happened to you. Knox avoided every question I asked after I found out you were military and you were too drunk to pay attention so I decided to dig into your past and find out for myself.”

What the hell!

How fucking dare he dig into my life just because no one would tell him what he wanted to know. That steps over every boundary I can think of. My past is mine and it’s where it needs to stay. There are a lot of things that no one knows about because I’m not proud of them. 

“I know about every tour you ever did,” he continues. “Comments from commanding officers, commendations, medals, every rank change. I know every place you’ve been stationed since you enlisted and every place your father was stationed while you were growin’ up. Medical history, high school GPA, and that you didn’t go to your senior prom. I know you changed your last name to your mother’s maiden name the day you turned eighteen because you didn’t want to be associated with your father or for his name to influence how people treated you. I’ve talked to people who told me you turned down opportunities for more money because you didn’t wanna walk away from your unit. I heard about the private security company who tried to poach you right before your last deployment and you said no. I know it all, Emerson.”

I blow out an aggravated breath and growl without meaning to when we reach the building. I reach out for the door handle but he stops me from pulling it open while silently staring at me. 

“What do you me to say? Thanks for diggin’ through shit that was none of your business? Or how about I tell you to go fuck off before you piss me off more?”

Rush lets his hand fall away from the door but as soon as I start to pull it open he slams it closed again.

“Rush…” I say, a hint of warning in my voice.

“I don’t need you to say shit. I need you to know that no one but yourself is responsible for gettin’ you here today. Everything I found out proves that you’ve worked your ass off for everything you’ve ever had. Everything. Doesn’t matter if it was a sealed record or a simple Google search, and I wouldn’t expect anything less from you now.”

“Good,” I snap, never taking my eyes off the door. I’m not comfortable with anyone knowing that much about me, let alone someone I met just a few weeks ago.

“We need to get something straight before I let go of this door, though.” Grabbing the edge of the black police vest they handed me when I showed up, he turns me to face him again. “I didn’t ask if you needed to stop because I don’t believe you can do it. I asked because I don’t want you to push yourself to the point that you’ll never fully heal. Based on what I dug up on you I have no doubt that you could excel at this. Your track record proves it and everyone I talked to spoke volumes about you while offering their recommendations. Fuck, I’ve never gotten feedback like that on any other member of my team. But none of that matters if you aren’t physically ready.”

“If you know all that you should know by now that hurt or not, I push myself to finish. If I start something, I expect myself to finish it. The expectations that other people have for me are nothing compared to the ones I have for myself.” I’ve never admitted that to anyone before. It scares me because I’m not even sure I realized it until it came out of my mouth. “I promise if I’m ever in too much pain that I can’t stomach it, I’ll stop. If it’s too much I’ll tell you and walk away without another word.”

After watching me carefully for a minute, Rush sighs and steps to the side. Opening the door, I step into the building and look for whoever should be here to administer the test. Rush follows me in and walks past me, telling me to follow him. I narrow my eyes at him but since I don’t see anyone else here, I do as he tells me to and follow him. He steps up to the first lane we come to and stops.

“What are you doin’?” I finally ask.

Turning around, he hands me a pair of safety glasses with a smile. “I’m administering your weapons test today. Now hurry up because you’re running late.”

“I wonder why!”

Rush shrugs and puts his safety equipment on. “Handgun test in here first, long range outside when we’re done. Since you’ve already done your tactical course you get to leave as soon as we’re done down here.”

Pushing everything out that happened outside out of my mind, I begin to go through the motions that have become second nature to me over the years. I do everything the same way I always have and before I know it I’m finished and climbing back into my truck with Rush’s promise to let me know the decision as soon as he can.

“Heard anything yet?” Knox asks, sliding onto the stool next to me with a beer.

I check my phone for the millionth time since I left Emerson’s house this morning and when I see I still don’t have any messages I shake my head. The silence and uncertainty that my day has been filled with while waiting on news of how Emerson did today is driving me insane. I’m not sure if she’s even done yet since I haven’t heard from Rush either.

When I woke up this morning Emerson was already in the shower getting ready so I sprawled out across her king-size bed for a bit longer. I was still worn out from everything that happened yesterday and throughout the night. I hadn’t planned on even stopping at her house until this morning because I was so tired but after what we decided, I’m glad I did. I’ve waited weeks to sink into that body of hers and I would have waited longer but the look in her eyes when she told me not to make her wait anymore made me cave. It’s not that I didn’t want to fuck her every day since the day I met her, but for the first time ever I don’t just want that part of a woman. Everything about Emerson makes me want her and it gets harder to ignore every day.