Read American Thighs Online

Authors: Jill Conner Browne

American Thighs

BOOK: American Thighs

Also by Jill Conner Browne

The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit

The Sweet Potato Queens' First Big-Ass Novel: Stuff We Didn't Actually Do, but Could Have, and May Yet
(with Karin Gillespie)

The Sweet Potato Queens' Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide

The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead

The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner)

God Save the Sweet Potato Queens

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love

Simon & Schuster
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020

Copyright © 2009 by Jill Conner Browne

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Simon & Schuster Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

This is essentially a work of nonfiction. However, many names and details of the characters have been changed, and some events and characters have been conflated or fictionalized.

& S
and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Sweet Potato Queens® is a registered trademark of Jill Conner Browne.

The Sweet Potato Queens® characters, names, titles, logos, and all related indicia are trademarks of Jill Conner Browne and/or SPQ, Inc. All trademarks, trade names, trade dress, logos, or other discriminating marks, and indicia associated with Jill Conner Browne, the Sweet Potato Queens®, SPQ, Inc., and the Sweet Potato Queens' Website, LLC, are owned by Jill Conner Browne and/or SPQ, Inc. and may not be used without expressed prior written permission from Jill Conner Browne and/or SPQ, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Browne, Jill Conner.
     American thighs: the Sweet Potato Queens' guide to preserving your assets / Jill Conner Browne.
          p. cm.
     1. Aging—Humor. 2. Women—Humor. I. Title. II. Title: Sweet Potato Queens' guide to preserving your assets.
     PN6231.A43B76   2009
     818'.5402—dc22                2008030675

ISBN-13: 978-1-4165-9435-2
ISBN-10: 1-4165-9435-3

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hen my very first book,
The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love,
was published, everybody, from family and friends to folks in the media, wanted to know “what's next.” And I laughingly told them all that what I envisioned was a sort of “Nancy Drew” series, a seemingly endless stream of sagas about the Sweet Potato Queens—never dreaming it would actually come to pass. And yet here we are with book #8. Wow. It took a lot more than a village, lemme tell you—so here's this biggest THANK-YOU in the world to:

My ever cute and talented agent, Jenny Bent of Trident Media Group, who continues to be my invaluable friend, ally, and thinker-upper-of-stuff-for-me-to-do.

David Rosenthal, Denise Roy, Julia Prosser, Nicole De Jackmo, Kate Anofski, Deb Darrock, Aileen Boyle, Victoria Meyer, Leah Wasielewski, Sybil Pincus, Jackie Seow, and Dana Sloan—the esteemed and attractive team at Simon & Schuster who labor tirelessly on my behalf. I would also like to say a spe
cial thank-you to Honi Werner for her brilliant covers on
The First Big-Ass Novel
The Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit
, and to Janet Perr for stepping up to the plate and knocking it over the fence with the cover of this book.

Kyle Jennings and the staff at Bad Dog Management for innumerable services rendered, both mentionable and otherwise.

Alycia Jones and Sarajean Babin, who, along with their Spud Studs Russell and Mike, respectively, keep everything at going…somehow.

Theo Costas, John Rein, and the whole staff at Southern Beverage in Jackson, Mississippi, for their tremendous support of the SPQ® Million Queen March™. Show your own appreciation—buy somebody a Bud today, and get yourself a couple as well!

Jennifer Wall—the best little winemaker in the world—for bringing her fabulous Barefoot Wines and Bubbly—not to mention her very own Queenly self—to the SPQ® Million Queen March™.

Patty and Jeff Christie of Patty Peck Honda in Jackson, Mississippi, for their generous support of the SPQ® Million
Queen March™: has there EVER been a better time to drive a Honda? Get yours from these Queen-friendly folks!

Our very dear friend Henry Cooper, at Country Pleasin' Meats, who gave us the first annual Big-Ass Barbecue after the Parade this year. YUM and thank you!

Kenny Windham, Jan Michaels, and the whole crazy bunch at Clear Channel Radio in Jackson, Mississippi, for their overwhelming support all year long.

Liza and Rick Looser and their band of geniuses at the Cirlot Agency for TEN YEARS of brilliance that can be observed at!

The entire staff at the Hilton Jackson for cheerfully catering to the every whim of about ten thousand or so crazy women from all over the world on the third weekend of every March. Y'all are crazy—but in such a good way.

To the Royalest and Loyalest Court any Queen ever had—Cynthia Speetjens, Melanie Jeffreys, Pippa Jackson, Katie Werdel, George Ewing, Ellyn Weeks, Martha Jean Alford, and Robin Mitchell—who make it more fun every year, which ought to be impossible but apparently isn't.

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