Amish Circle Letters II: The Second Circle of Letters (28 page)

Menno tugged at his beard, a habit of his when he was deep in thought. “Sick, you think?”

“
Nee
,” Mary Ruth replied. “Not the kind of sick that you’re thinking of, Menno.”

He lifted an eyebrow in silent question to her statement.

Mary Ruth lifted and pressed her hand to Menno’s chest. “His sickness is in here, I reckon,” she said softly. “His heart is breaking for Katie.”

“He
’s too young for that, Mary Ruth!” Menno whispered back, his voice full of surprise. “Isn’t he?”

She smiled and shook her head. “Mayhaps you might take him to see her tomorrow? I think that might make him feel better.”

Menno looked over his shoulder, his eyes staring at his forlorn son. Mary Ruth watched her husband, seeing the transition from disbelief to understanding. Slowly, Menno nodded his head. “
Ja
,” he agreed as he turned back to look down into Mary Ruth’s face. “Let’s get morning chores done and the three of us can go visiting while the girls are at school. I will call a driver tonight after the little ones go to bed.”

Rachel tucked the blanket around Elijah
’s legs as he rested in the recliner. His breathing was labored and his skin clammy. When she felt his forehead earlier, she had detected a fever, but he had refused to permit her to contact the doctor. Now, as he reached for her, the way that his trembling hand touched hers frightened Rachel. It felt weak, far too weak for a man having to fight such a horrible disease as cancer.

And, in that moment, she knew.

“Now Elijah,” she said, trying to sound cheerful. “You take yourself a good nap now, you hear me? Our boys are out doing the evening chores and happy to do them for you.”

“
Ja
,” he murmured, his eyes all but shut. “Happy…”

“You comfortable now?”

He didn’t respond.

She stood up and stared down at him, barely recognizing the man that sat before her. He had lost weight, too much weight. The chemotherapy had taken all of his energy and whatever life was still in him, it seemed. He hadn
’t left the house since the barn raising, and even that had been a battle to convince him to attend the social event. She knew that he hadn’t wanted his neighbors and family to see him in such a frail state, but she also knew that he needed to leave the house. If only she could get him to attend church, she thought. But she knew that he would never agree to that.

“Rachel.” His raspy voice startled her. He reached out his hand and waited for her to take it. Lifting his eyes, he stared at her for a long moment. “I want you to promise me something.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Anything.”

He nodded his head and fought to gain the strength to speak. When he finally did, she knew why. “I want you to promise to remarry when I’m gone.”

“Elijah!” She snatched her hand away and scowled. “I won’t be having any talk like that.”

He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. Exhaling slowly, he looked at her once again. “It’s time to talk about what happens next. We both know that I’m not beating this.”

“Nonsense!”

Despite saying the word, she knew in her heart that he spoke the truth. Denying it did not make it any less true. Elijah
wasn’t
getting better and he
didn’t
appear to be beating the cancer. The treatment was killing him, for sure and certain. Still, the thought of her husband leaving her sent a chill throughout her body. Without Elijah, who would take care of the farm? Who would help her raise her sons?

“No more talk about such things,” she snapped angrily. Then, trying to soften her tone, she changed the conversation. “Now, I
’m going to heat up some good soup for you, Elijah. Anna Esh swears by this soup.” She hurried toward the kitchen, still talking to him. “And you know that Anna Esh has seen her Jacob through an awful lot of sickness!”

Just the week before, she made soup cooked with chicken feet, having heard from one of the older women in the
g’may
that the fat from the chicken feet might help increase his white blood cells. The recipe seemed simple enough and, while she didn’t know if it was true, Rachel didn’t care. She would try anything to nurse her husband back to health.

To her surprise, at Monday’s appointment, the doctors noticed a slight increase in Elijah
’s white blood cell count when they drew his blood before his last chemotherapy session the previous week. Still, there had been little to no difference in Elijah’s attitude. Where she noticed a fighting spirit in him before, now there was nothing. Just an empty shell of a man simply waiting for the good Lord to call him home.

The drawn blinds on the windows blocked any light from entering the hospital room. Mary Ruth entered the room first, pausing for just a moment to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness. When she finally looked around, she immediately saw Katie, sleeping in the big hospital bed. Her hair was pulled back from her face and, instead of her prayer
kapp
  she wore a simple white scarf on her head. The blue and white floral hospital gown looked strange on Katie; it was so different from her regular plain dresses.

Anna sat by the bedside, her head leaning back and her eyes closed. A blue blanket covered her lap and her one hand rested on the side of the bed, holding her daughter’s hand.

“Anna?” She said her sister-in-law’s name so softly that, at first, she didn’t think Anna had heard her. But just as she was about to repeat herself, Anna stirred in the chair.

It took her a moment to adjust her eyes and recognize who had just walked into the room. When she saw Mary Ruth, she smiled wearily. “Mary Ruth!” Anna glanced at the hospital bed, making certain that Katie still slept before she stood up and greeted Mary Ruth with a warm embrace. The gesture surprised both of them. “I
’m so glad to see you,” Anna gushed as she pulled away, color rising to her cheeks. “It’s been a long few days.”

“I
’m sure,” Mary Ruth agreed.

Anna glanced over at Menno and smiled before her gaze fell upon Melvin. “Oh,” she whispered. “I hadn
’t seen you there, Melvin.”

“We thought Melvin might visit with Katie a spell,” Mary Ruth explained, lifting her eyebrows. “He
’s been so worried.” This last part was spoken in a tone that indicated a reference to a secret, one that Anna immediately understood.

“Have you, now?” Anna directed the question to Melvin. “God
’s been watching over her, Melvin. I can assure you. Why, she awoke just evening last and asked for water. But she still can’t seem to move at all.” She said the last part with a softer voice as if trying to keep the words away from her sleeping daughter. “If only she could move just her fingers or toes…” she added, her voice trailing off and the sentence left lingering in the air.

Mary Ruth reached out and touched Anna
’s arm. “Let’s go get a nice warm coffee. Menno can stay with the
kinner
so that Melvin can visit proper now,
ja
?” Without giving Anna a chance to respond otherwise, Mary Ruth began to lead her sister-in-law out of the room and down the hall, one quick glance over her shoulder at Menno to reassure him that he’d be all right staying with Melvin while he sat with Katie.

Melvin barely heard Anna and Mary Ruth talking as he stood in the doorway, staring at the figure of Katie in the big hospital bed. With the scarf tied around her head and her face half buried in the pillow, she looked so angelic to him. He had never before seen her in such a vulnerable position. Not
his
Katie. She was always so strong and bold.

With great trepidation, he approached the bed. He didn
’t look back at his
daed,
but could sense that he had moved past the doorway. For that, Melvin was grateful. He wanted a little privacy, for he had much to tell Katie.

Standing beside the bed, he stared down at her, hesitating before he reached out and placed his hand upon hers. He was careful to only touch her fingertips so that he didn
’t accidentally brush against the tubes that were taped to the top of her hand. Her skin felt cool to his touch, not exactly what he had expected. Still, he knew that she could sense he was there. His heart told him so.

“
Katie,” he began, pausing to clear his throat and lower his voice. “It’s me, Melvin.” The machines made noises, beeping and churning when he paused as if expecting her to respond. “I sure do hope you can hear me, Katie. I had to come see you and tell you something. It’s really important.” Another pause and more noises from the machine. It felt strange to him that he was talking to someone who couldn’t respond. It was a very one-sided conversation and he didn’t like the lack of a response. He only hoped and prayed that she could hear him.

“
Listen Katie,” he continued, his voice lowered so that his
daed
, still standing on the outside of the doorway couldn’t hear his words. “I tried to do what you told me to do. You know, about coming clean to my
daed
and
mamm
. To confess what I did and what happened. I sure do intend to do it but I couldn’t. It wasn’t the right time. I don’t want you thinking I wasn’t planning on doing it, though. And I’m not just doing it because you told me to. I now it’s the right thing and I will tell them.”

He stopped talking and took a deep breath.

“Please Katie,” he whispered. “Don’t be paralyzed. How will you help me with our farm if you can’t walk?”

And then he felt it. The twitch of her finger underneath his hand. It was subtle at first, just a slight whisper of a movement.

For a second, he felt as if his heart had stopped beating. His eyes flickered to the machines as if the strange blinking numbers on them might tell him something. When that proved fruitless, he glanced down at her eyes. They were still, no movement behind her closed lids.

“Did you just move your fingers, Katie? Did you hear what I said?” Another pause as he waited, holding his breath still so that he could concentrate. “What I said about our farm? Because I meant that, Katie. You
’re going to be Melvin’s Katie the second you turn sixteen, you hear me?”

Once again, he stopped talking and waited, anticipating some reaction. A sign. Anything so that he might know she heard him.

Her eyelids fluttered. Just a touch. And her finger moved one more time.

“
Daed
!” Melvin said loudly. “
Kum esse
!”

His father quickly moved to his side. “What is it?”

“She moved!” Melvin could barely take his eyes from Katie’s face. He watched her eyes to see if she might move them again. “Watch her eyes. She’s trying to open them!”

They stood there, side-by-side, waiting and watching the young girl.

Nothing.

Menno placed his hand on Melvin
’s shoulder. “I know you want her to awaken, Melvin,” he said gently. “But wanting it doesn’t mean it will happen.”

“But
Daed
,” Melvin pleaded. He knew what he had just witnessed, even if his
daed
didn’t believe him. “I felt her hand move and I saw her eyelids flicker. She heard me. I
know
she did.” He returned his gaze to stare at her innocent face resting on the pillow, appearing lost in the strange surroundings of the hospital. “Didn’t you Katie?”

To both of their surprise, once again, there was a movement behind her eyelids. Menno caught his breath and squeezed Melvin
’s shoulder so that he, too, looked back at Katie’s face. Slowly, ever so slowly, there was a flicker of activity and the brief opening of her eyes. She tried to lift her eyelids, but they were too heavy and she shut them again. But, in doing so, she managed to mumble something that neither Melvin nor Menno could understand. And she moved her arm to reach for Melvin’s hand.

“You stay here,” Menno whispered into his son’s ear. “I
’ll go get the nurse!”

The energy in the house increased as the family came together, eagerly a
waiting Katie’s return after a week in the hospital. Mimi sat in the rocking chair next to Mary Ruth, both of them crocheting lap blankets. Mary Ruth noticed Steve leaning against the doorframe as he watched his wife. The look of concern on his face puzzled Mary Ruth almost as much as Mimi’s silence.

In the kitchen, Ella and Leah helped Miriam prepare the platters and bowls of food while Lovina and Lizzie finished setting the tables that had been set up in the gathering room, the room usually reserved for worship service. However, with more than fifty people expected to welcome Katie and to share the holiday meal, Elias had opened the folding doors between the adjacent rooms in order to accommodate everyone.

It was very unusual to have practically everyone together and Mary Ruth knew that the only disappointment was that Rachel and Elijah had not joined them as well as Sylvia and her family.