An Alpha's Trust (7 page)

Chapter 11

There were flowers on the front porch. It wasn’t too hard to figure out who they were from. She felt horrible. Why was he sending her flowers? She’s the one who was a freak. Great, now she felt like shit. Jake had given her the best orgasm of her life while she left him rock hard and wanting--twice.

The card read, ‘I understand. I’m so very sorry. You’re an individual belonging to no one. I’d be lucky to be invited into your home and life. I will always have your side and never harm you. Please give me another chance. Yours, Jake.’ His cellphone number was on the back.

Well, hell.
What does a girl say to that? She brought the flowers, pink and yellow roses, into the house and put them in a vase.

“Those are pretty flowers, ma. Who buyed them?”

He knew darn well who had bought them. He was fishing. “Is someone coming to dinner?”

“It’s bought, Trevor. And no one to concern yourself about, big man. Just you and me tonight.” And my raging hormones, but I’ve got something to help control those.
Hehehe, take that, wolf boy.

“Well, yeah, us and the wolves. Should we get something for them for dinner? They are probably hungry.” Big brown eyes that he had gotten from her looked up at her with hope.

“They’re predators; I’m sure they’ll be fine. Who’s here?” She was not looking forward to seeing Jake and explaining the situation in front of Trevor, or anyone else. It was harsh to have to think about, let alone to talk about.

Trevor got a faraway look in his eyes and she knew he may be standing in the same room, but he was far far away. A couple minutes later, he turned with a wide grin on his face.
Uh oh, that didn’t look good.
She was prepared for some major manipulation.

“Hey ma, maybe I can play outside while you cook. The guys are all out there.” When had the wild animals become the guys? Geez, she was losing control very quickly.

“What did you see?” She tried looking calm as can be.

“Um, you know I shouldn’t tell you. Everything will work out. You worry too much, mommy.” He was setting her up for something. She felt comforted by the fact he had never been wrong and he didn’t seem upset.

“Fine, go have fun, but please stay by the wolves.” Did she really just send her kid to play with wild animals? Yep, that’s her, parent of the year.

She seasoned some beef and put it in the oven. She was cutting broccoli when the doorbell rang. Crap, she didn’t want company. By the flutter in her belly she knew who it was. Time to face the firing squad.

She looked out the peep hole and saw Jake in all his glory. He was wearing a tight grey shirt with black jeans.
Yummy; down girl.
She had a replacement in her bed named BOB, battery operated boyfriend.

Jake could smell her through the door and felt instant heat to all his tender bits. His body was very ready to bond.

The door opened soundlessly. “I’m so very sorry. I didn’t realize...” Jake started.

“Realize what, Jake? Why the card and flowers?”

Great, now she was even more confused. He had no idea what was going on in her life, so why apologize. Unless...crap, he looked into her past. Now she felt stupid and vulnerable. Again.

He saw the exact moment she realized her jig was up and he knew all about her. No longer did she have a confused but reassuring look on her face. She almost looked...angry. That couldn’t be right. Why would she be angry at him?
Oh man, chicks.
He was Alpha. They were supposed to bow to him and chase after him. Never in his life had he had to work this hard. Figures.

She put all of her previous defenses in place to hear what so many people had told her. She would hear the law enforcement whispering behind her back that she deserved it for leading him. The others looked at her with pity. She was no longer going to be someone’s rug. She had decided to fight back, but standing in her doorway with Jake staring at her she didn’t know what she was fighting. “Well...”

“Well what, Shana? I’m sorry you had to endure everything that you did, but in looking through the file, I couldn’t be more proud of you. You have made a life for yourself and Trevor. Plus, you’ve kept him safe all these years. I want to help, be there for you and Trevor. I want to tell you what mating is, and what you should expect. Mostly I want to tell you, I feel your strength will only benefit my pack. You don’t have to tell anyone what has happened to you, but I will not have you hiding anymore. I am the Alpha male and, if you choose to accept me after we talk, you’ll be the Alpha female.”

All the anger and hurt she was feeling slowly drained out of her by the time his speech was done. She had never felt strong, had no idea why he would be proud of her. She had destroyed her life early on with trusting the wrong person. Dare she trust again?

“I’m not strong enough. I’m also not an Alpha of anything. Nor am I an animal, no offense.”

His lips turned upward in a half-smile. “You don’t have to be a wolf to be strong, Shana. All these years, with all of the attacks you’ve endured, you think you’re not strong. You fight for yourself, and Trevor, like any mother wolf would for her cub. Please give me a chance.”

“I ran away, Jake. I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to live a normal life. I don’t want to have to look around every corner and be suspicious of everyone. I want peace.” She could feel her panic start to rise.

“I haven’t gone out since high school. I can’t drink alcohol because I need all my focus at all times. I haven’t dated and have resigned myself to live with Trevor; he’s all I’ll ever need. I never wanted a relationship. I’m still not sure I do.”

“You don’t have to decide right now, Shana. I know we’d be perfect together, but I won’t force you. As I’ve said, my pack will keep you safe. Even if you’re not ready, we’ll care for and watch over you. One day maybe you’ll come to me.” He hoped it was soon because the look she was giving him shot straight to his groin. Like he could be her salvation. He wanted to carry her to her room, make gentle sweet love to her and show her how a man really acted.

“Would you like to stay for dinner? After I put Trevor down we can talk about...stuff.” She turned away without waiting for his answer. She knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Chapter 12

She looked out the kitchen window and saw Trevor riding a big brown wolf, almost as big as Jake. She knew it was Grant. She didn’t know how she knew, but she was aware of all of the wolves. She knew her son was safe.

Trevor came pounding into the kitchen. “I got to ride a wolfie, mommy.” She had never seen so much joy on his face.

Using her sternest voice, she said, “Go wash up now, it’s time for dinner and we have a guest.” She looked to Jake.

“I’ll come along, little buddy. I’ve got to wash up too.” They raced to the bathroom laughing as she set the table. How had she become so uptight? She thought her and Trevor had a good life, but she couldn’t remember ever hearing such happiness from her own child. Was she pushing her fears and anxiety off on him? Bloody hell.

“Mama, Jake says if I eats all my broccoli tonight, he’ll read me my bedtime story. I want the one about the lady eating a bat. Can he read that to me?”

“Of course, big guy. I’m sure he’d love to read it, but you have to eat the broccoli. We’ll be watching you.” She made a motion with her index and middle finger like she was watching him and he giggled.

The conversation at dinner was light. Mostly, Trevor telling them about his day, and what the kids in his class were up to. He had always been very social. Shana thought he might have trouble adjusting to school and the move, but he was doing fine. She was the one in an emotional pitfall.

They were done eating and Trevor got up to take his bath with Jake following. Suddenly, Jake took a sniff and said, “Tsk, tsk, Trevor. I guess you don’t want that story I promised.”

Shana was a bit confused until Trevor put on a small smile and said, “Way cool, Jakie,” pulling a piece of broccoli from his pocket and popping it into his mouth.

He chewed, swallowed and then stuck his tongue out and said, “All done. That was neat. Can you show me how to do that?”

Jake winked over his shoulder to Shana and went up to help Trevor.

She stood at the kitchen sink and smiled. The boys were bonding. She had a sudden feeling of loss. The boys were bonding, but she was on the outside. She was so emotionally scarred that her five-year-old was able to love, but not her.
Whoa, maybe love is too strong a word.

She walked up the stairs and heard the melodic tone of Jake’s voice reading ‘The Little Old Lady Who Swallowed A Bat.’ She stood outside the door and listened. He was really great with her son. Accepting.

At the end of the story, she was shocked to hear a little voice. “Thanks; I love you, Jake. You can read me a story at night all the time and mommy can come and read me a story too. She is so sad. I know you can make her happy, like you make me smile. Mommy needs to smile.”

Jake smiled and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight lil’ guy. You make me happy too,” he whispered. He walked out of the room and down to the kitchen where he had heard Shana flee.

She was sitting at the table with a box of tissue in front of her, but her eyes were dry. Her hands were in her lap and her back was ram rod straight. “Shall we start? I fear you’ve already convinced my son to take a chance on you.” She didn’t sound upset, just concerned.

“I think I should start by saying, I looked into your past and I’m sorry. I should have waited for you to tell me what happened to you, but I couldn’t understand what happened yesterday. I was just trying to gain valuable insight into what went wrong. I know what went wrong now, and I’ll try not to do anything to hurt you again.”

“I’m not angry about it. My past is what it is, I can’t change it. You didn’t look at me with pity so I can manage a little embarrassment. While we’re talking, though, I’d appreciate you not being vague or skip stuff you think will be too painful or upsetting.”

“Okay...I don’t want you to think I’m like that bastard Ryan. I told you before that I’ll go slow and stop when you need me to. The only thing I can ask is that you tell me what I did wrong, when I do it. Last night I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong. It drove me crazy. I know now it was probably the possessive way I called you mine. Am I right?”

She looked a bit sheepish. “I know it’s stupid, but it just took me back. I avoid thinking of the past at all cost. It was probably the fact that I also haven’t had sex in five years.”

At the word sex his eyes closed and when he opened them they had a golden hue to them. “I’m glad we cleared that up. I need to explain the basics of wolf mating. Are you up for it tonight?”

“To tell you the truth, I’m exhausted but there’s no other place I’d rather be. I need to understand.” She didn’t like feeling like she was on the outside. She wanted a family, and she wanted to share her life with others.

“Wolf mating is very powerful magic. Somehow, our wolf is able to scent his lifelong mate. I smelled you the first week you were in town, but I couldn’t find you. It was...”

“Wait a second! I smell? Bad? Oh my Gosh! Why didn’t you tell me?” She rose quickly, intending to put distance between them, but he pulled her down to his lap.

“Like the sweetest vanilla ice cream I’ve ever smelled. Your scent is unique to you and an aphrodisiac to me. I get hard every time you’re around, so please don’t get upset.” He took a big whiff where her neck and shoulder met.
Yumm.

She could feel her juices sliding into her panties, so she quickly climbed off his lap and onto the chair she had vacated. He had a look on his face like he knew exactly how she responded to him.

Continuing, “I was frustrated; I couldn’t locate you. I was surprised to find your scent in Twilight Lookout. When a wolf finds his mate it’s a deep feeling of contentment. However, he or she feels, uh, well, um...”

“Be blunt. I need to understand your people if I’m expected to live among you.”

“Horny. Usually, a couple will meet and have wild naked monkey sex for days sometimes, barely coming up for air. Wolves are very sexual creatures. If the mate’s human, like you, they usually can feel a bond to their wolf. Most are unable to deny themselves their want. I feel a bond to you; Shana and I know you feel it too.”

“I do.” She looked almost regretful.

“I know you’re an Alpha female; if you weren’t then you wouldn’t be able to deny your urges, even with your history. You are strong.” There went that ring of pride in his voice.

“Has there ever been a time when a mated pair didn’t...get together?” She wiggled her brows.

“None that I can think of. It would be most unusual for our kind to deny what we know is the best thing we will ever find. Our other half.” He sounded wistful.

“I’ve waited a long time to find you. And now that you’ve found me, I feel complete. How do you feel when you’re around me, Shana?”

“Mostly horny, but yeah, I feel safe too. I’ve always dreamed of feeling safe, but never dreamed it was possible. When I wake in the morning I think of you, and several times a day I find I can’t stop thinking of you. Is that the bond?”

“Mostly. What we have now is an incomplete bond. In order to complete it I have to, well, um, that is, ummm...”

“My God, Jake, spill it.”

“I would have to spill my seed inside you, and bite you here.” He ran his finger down the length of her neck to her shoulder. “While you came around my cock, Shana. That is the complete bonding. The first step of the bonding was my tasting you.”

Holy shit.
How could he make her so hot with just a touch? She wanted to lead him to her room and explore this new found tingling sensation in her happy area.
No, focus.

It was hard to focus when he was breathing deeply and smiling. Did he know she was horny? Could he tell? No way. “Would it always be like this between us?”

“Yes, you’re my other half as I am yours. We could no longer find pleasure with others. We would become physically ill if we were to try. Once the bond is complete, we’d be able to feel a part of each other’s emotions. We’d still be individuals and able to make independent decisions. However, I would be able to tell when you are angry or hurt and you would be able to sense the same of me. A bonded pair is very special.” He was afraid he was frightening her, but all he could smell was her arousal.

“Why do you keep breathing hard and smiling at me? Do I smell again?” She was becoming self-conscious.

He gave her a look that was sure to star tonight in her fantasies. A half grin, which looked a little wolfish. “I should tell you that my sense of smell is very powerful. I can smell your arousal and it is driving me crazy. I’ll also be able to smell your fear, and joy; most emotions. If we complete the bond you will develop a heightened sense of smell as well.”

“Wow, um, okay. I’m sorry I’m making you uncomfortable but...wait, can the other wolves smell my...stuff?”
Oh, God.

She was so embarrassed. “Last night, we...Oh, no.”

“The other wolves will be able to smell you on me, yes. They also know we did
not
complete the bond. Wolf shifters are not a shy group of people. To find one’s mate is a thing of joy. I would be the envy of the pack, as would you.”

“Yeah, but...we smell like...passion. Oh my, I feel...dirty.”

He could feel anger rising, and tried to control it. “Why exactly would you feel dirty for being with me? I am your mate!”

He wanted her to understand so badly, but she grew up acknowledging sex differently. He thought he might feel the same with her history, but he wasn’t going to be punished for others’ crimes.

Her brows furrowed. “Why is that your answer to everything?” She mimicked his voice. “Trust me, I’m your mate. I would never hurt you, I am your mate. Have uninhibited sex with me, I am your mate.” Okay, so she just made that last one up, and, oh boy, he looked pissed.

He plastered on a calm face, but inside he was raging. “I can see that you’re getting upset, so I’ll leave you to your thoughts. Only time will make you believe in me, so take it. I’ve given everything I can.” He stood and walked out the back door and to his pack.

Over his shoulder, he called, “I plan on sleeping on the couch while the others remain outside, on alert. I won’t bother you and feel free to lock your bedroom door from the big bad wolf.”