An Embarrassment of Riches (49 page)

None came. He felt only panic. He had only Haines's word that her destination had been Tarna. She could have been deliberately misleading him. She could have gone anywhere. He might never see her again. Never see Felix again.

He slammed out of the room; along the broad corridor; down the grand staircase. Maids and footmen gathered strategically in his wake, hovering nervously for whatever instructions might be hurled at them.

‘I'm leaving for Tarna,' he said tightly to a hovering Stephen Fassbinder. ‘Immediately.'

Stephen blanched. ‘The
Rosetta
has sailed, sir …'

Alexander blasphemed. He had forgotten. And there would be no public steamers now it was nearly dusk. ‘I want to be on a steamer first thing in the morning,' he rasped, clenching and unclenching his fists in a fever of frustration.

‘Yes, Mr Karolyis. I'll see to it at once, Mr Karolyis.'

Alexander strode away from him and into his study, well aware that he was being stared at. It would be tomorrow at the earliest before he could get to Tarna and the hours stretched out interminably. He certainly didn't want to return to Ariadne. Charlie was no longer on speaking terms with him. Henry would only lecture him. And he didn't want to be with either Charlie or Henry. He wanted to be with Maura and Felix. He looked at his watch. It was six-thirty. There were at least another twelve hours to endure.

Felix woke just after four in the morning, hungry and wanting to be fed. Maura slipped out of bed and pulled on a robe. Despite Felix's nurse's disapproval she had insisted on breast-feeding him herself and, as she lifted him from his cradle, she was very glad that she had done so. Now there was no nurse to reluctantly hand him to her. Now he could sleep in the same room as her. Now she could look after him herself.

By the time she had winded him and changed his diaper daylight was seeping across Tarna's meadows. It had been a long time, and in another country, since she had last ridden in the quiet of early morning.

By the time she laid Felix back in his cradle he was sleeping.

Moving quietly so as not to disturb him she dressed in her riding habit and boots and then rang for Miriam.

‘I'm going for a ride,' she said, suppressing the guilt she felt at waking her for such a selfish purpose. ‘I've just fed Felix and he's sleeping. Will you sit in with him for an hour or so?'

Miriam was too relieved at not being asked to return to New York to mind in the least.

The stable-boys stared at her in dumb amazement when she walked into the stables.

‘I would like Halcyon Dream saddling,' she said, pleasant command in her voice.

None of the grooms had even been aware of her return. There was a flurry of activity. Maura felt relief seeping through her. Here she was accepted as being the mistress of the house. There was none of the sullen reluctance to carry out her wishes that she met with in New York from Haines and his cronies.

While she waited for Halcyon Dream to be saddled she made a mental note of all the things she would have to do later in the day. She would have to see if any of the maids were qualified in infant care. If one was, then she could be detailed to nursery duties. If not, then she would have to set about hiring a suitable young girl. She didn't want anyone remotely authoritarian. She wanted someone with whom she could share the day-to-day care of Felix, not someone who would take it over completely as the New York nurse had tried to do.

A gleaming-coated Halcyon Dream was led out of his stall and, as he was led to the mounting-block, Maura was seized with inspiration. She would ask one of the O'Farrell sisters if they would like to come to Tarna as Felix's nurse. Both Bridget and Caitlin were capable girls and life at Tarna would be a million times pleasanter than life in a Bowery sweatshop.

As she mounted she wondered if Alexander would make any strenuous objections. He might refuse to pay a new nurse wages. He might insist on the New York nurse removing herself to Tarna.

Riding side-saddle, Maura pressed a heel lightly in Halcyon Dream's left flank. If he refused to pay Caitlin or Bridget wages then she would invite them to Tarna as guests. And if the New York nurse put in an appearance she would find herself with no nursery tasks, for she would give her none.

She walked Halcyon Dream out of the immaculately kept stable-yard. She would have to write to Kieron as well and let him know where she was. And she would have to write to Charlie and Henry.

The sky was flushed rose as she began to trot across the meadows towards the distant, wooded banks of the Hudson. Would Henry or Charlie visit her at Tarna? Would it be proper for them to do so when she had no husband in attendance? She thought back to Christmas and to the fun they had all had and her heart ached with such pain that she wondered how she could possibly bear it. Why, oh why, had things fallen out as they had? Why couldn't Alexander have seen how iniquitous Karolyis leasing and rental agreements were? Why couldn't he have been uncaring as to the social ostracism he had met with when they had first returned to New York from Tarna? Why couldn't he have been impervious to the attractions of the slumbrously proud Ariadne Brevoort?

As the meadows petered out into open country she dug her heel harder into Halcyon Dream's side. She needed to gallop. She needed to ride hard and recklessly in order to assuage the pain knifing through her.

The stallion went with a will, his mane streaming in the wind. Maura kept him heading in the direction of the river and for a blissful twenty minutes or so she was aware of nothing but the wind in her face, the power of the horse beneath her, the thudding of hoofs.

As open rolling country gave way to trees and the beginnings of woods, she slowed the horse to a canter and then to a walk.

What was to become of her marriage? She had known, almost from the outset, that Alexander had married her in order to seek revenge on his father. And it hadn't mattered. He had been as passionately drawn to her as she had been to him, and that was what had mattered. Their instantaneous physical desire and need of each other had knitted them together as inseparably as if they had known each other from childhood and had only married after a long, tender engagement. At Tarna they had been as happy as any two people possibly could be. And they could still be happy if only Alexander would stop minding about being ostracized by Stuyvesants, De Peysters and Van Rensselaers and their like.

From behind her there came the distant sound of hoofbeats and she nudged the stallion around, mildly curious. Ever since they had left Tarna she had seen no other rider.

The rose-flushed sky was streaked with clear bands of blue, promising a hot day. The rider was heading straight towards her, almost as if he were in pursuit of her.

She shaded her eyes against the early morning heat haze, struggling to recognize him. The horse was black and powerful, the rider dark-haired and young.

Her heart began to slam in thick, heavy strokes. Still not sure she goaded Halcyon Dream into a trot, moving away from the trees.

There was absolutely no doubt now that he was heading straight for her. And absolutely no doubt as to his identity.

She could feel the blood beating even in her fingertips. He had come after her. Why? To demand a divorce? To demand that Felix return with him to New York?

She spurred Halcyon Dream towards him at a canter, filled with a mixture of fear and the fierce hope that her fears might prove groundless. She could see his face now, lean and hard and implacable. He had come to fight. Surely to God he wouldn't be looking so savage if he had come for any reason other than to try and take Felix away from her?

Her hands were slippery on the reins. Whatever happened she wasn't going to be parted from Felix. Alexander had to be made to see reason. They could remain married and yet live apart. It would half-kill her, but it would be better than losing him altogether.

He galloped towards her head-on, veering only at the last possible moment.

Both of them reined in. He was breathing harshly, his eyes so dark she couldn't tell iris from pupil.

‘Alexander, I …'

He was out of his saddle. Before she could even think of dismounting herself his hands were on her waist.

‘Alexander …'

Everything she had been going to say vanished from her mind. He hadn't come to fight. His eyes were hot and demanding. His hands hungry and proprietorial.

He pulled her down from the stallion's back, hugging her tight against him. She could smell his sweat-streaked skin, the tang of horse, the linger of expensive French cologne.

‘I'm sorry,' he said thickly. ‘Christ, I've been such a fool, Maura …'

Her tears were wet against his cheek. Even through the thickness of her riding skirt she could feel his desperate need of her. Answering desire roared through her veins. As his fingers frantically undid the frog-fastenings of her jacket, her own fingers were at his shirt, pulling it free from his riding pants.

His hands cupped her breasts and her own slid over the smooth, strong muscles of his back. With his mouth hard on hers, their tongues meeting, plunging deep, he pulled her down to the ground.

She went with him like wax. It was all right. Everything was all right. He had missed her. He had come to his senses. He loved her just as she loved him. She wasn't going to lose him or Felix. Life was blissful again, full of such joy that she felt as if she had died and gone to heaven.

‘I love you … love you …' she gasped as he rolled over on top of her, pushing up her riding skirt, crushing the knee-high, flower-thick grass.

Nearby the horses stirred and whinnied. A buzzard flew overhead. She could smell poppies and cornflowers. Beyond the trees the mighty Hudson could be heard, rolling ponderously southwards.

Her arms tightened feverishly around him, her legs lifting high to circle his waist as he entered her with rapacious unhesitation. There was dew in her hair and early morning sun on her legs. Every nerve-ending she possessed was aflame with pleasure and reciprocal need as she moved with him, climbing towards a summit of exquisite indivisibility. They reached the peak of physical and emotional explosion simultaneously, cries and groans changing in pitch to a scream of primeval female satisfaction and a bellowing shout of masculine triumph.

For a long time afterwards they lay, hearts slamming, limbs entwined. At last he edged his weight off her, resting on one elbow, looking down at her with an overwhelming sense of well-being and relief.

‘I thought I'd lost you,' he said huskily.

She smiled up at him, touching his face tenderly. ‘You'll never lose me. I'll always be here. I'll always love you.'

When they made love again it was with exquisite tenderness. A cornflower had become entangled in her hair and afterwards, as they lay sleepily in the morning heat, he removed it gently, tucking it inside his shirt.

‘Both Charlie and Henry told me what a fool I'd been,' he said, knowing that he had to talk to her of what he had done. Knowing that he had to explain; that he had to apologize.

‘I know.' She wasn't sure that she wanted him to start trying to explain. She knew exactly why he had behaved as he had. She knew him far better than he would ever know himself.

‘I just didn't know how to cut and run from the situation I had got myself in,' he said with boyish truthfulness.

She nestled against him, her head on his shoulder, the scent of cornflowers and poppies as thick as smoke in the June sunlight.

‘But you have now,' she said gently, ‘and that's all that matters.'

His arm tightened around her. ‘Do you want us to stay on at Tarna?'

She wanted it more than anything else in the world, but she didn't reply for a moment. Staying on at Tarna would be easy. Life had always been easy at Tarna. But if their marriage was to work, it had to be able to do so in New York. To stay on at Tarna would only be to hide from the real challenges that lay in wait.

‘I think we should return to New York,' she said, her fingers interlocking in his.

He felt a stab of disquiet and immediately suppressed it. He knew why she had opted for New York. He knew also that beneath her vivaciousness and femininity she was a far stronger character than he was or ever would be.

He rose to his feet, brushing grass and flower petals from his pants. ‘Then let's leave today.'

She accepted his outstretched hands, allowing him to draw her to her feet.

‘Miriam will threaten to seek employment elsewhere,' she said with a grin.

They began to walk towards their grazing horses and her grin faded. Miriam would never leave Karolyis employment and she didn't ever want her to, but there were a couple of other people she would be quite happy to see replaced. Haines's superciliousness had become nearly unbearable and she no longer wanted to endure the nursery nurse's high-handedness.

‘Haines doesn't like having me as a mistress,' she said as he helped her up into the saddle. ‘And Felix's nurse makes me feel highly unwelcome in the nursery.'

‘Don't worry.' He sprang into his own saddle. ‘I'll speak to them.'

She heeled Halcyon Dream into movement. ‘I'd like you to do more,' she said, determined for the sake of her future happiness to be tenacious. ‘As far as the nurse is concerned, I'd like you to pay her off, and I would like to ask either Caitlin or Bridget O'Farrell if they would be Felix's nurse.'

His hands tightened on the reins. She saw the knuckles whiten and she was filled with a flash of fear. Was her request going to jeopardize their reconciliation? How on earth could he be expected to tolerate having his son cared for by an untrained Irish girl?

She said carefully, knowing that yet again she had placed their entire future on the line, ‘I want to spend more time with Felix than a professional nurse would expect me to. I want to be able to bath him sometimes and change his diapers and take him for walks in his perambulator. Neither Caitlin nor Bridget would object to me doing such things, but a professional nurse would see it as being interfering and intrusive. And you don't have to worry about Caitlin's or Bridget's capabilities. They come from a big family and know as much about caring for little ones as any professional nurse.'