An Ordinary Me (11 page)

Mom, Natalie and I are in the kitchen doing the dishes and Dad and Garrison are in the dining room eating. I’m a little worried about what they are discussing and wonder if I should go check on him. My dad is always a gentleman so I know he would never do anything to make him uncomfortable. Maybe they are talking football? Or colleges?

Natalie starts giggling. “I think you like him.”

“What?” I laugh.

“I agree,” Mom chimes in.

“Why is that?”

“You keep messing with your hair and you smile at him when he talks,” Natalie said matter of fact.

“Maybe I do a little. But he doesn’t like me that way. We are just friends.”

“That can always change…” Mom stated.

“I doubt it. He is a senior and he is gorgeous, incredibly talented…”

“And?” Mom asked.

“I’m ordinary.”

“That’s absurd. You are beautiful. You are smart. You’re an amazing dancer. You are full of life, and I could go on and on.”

“You’re my mom and you have to say that.”

Natalie laughed. “I think he likes you too.”

“No, he doesn’t, not like that.”

Mom backs her up. “I’m pretty sure your little sister is right. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“I don’t think so…”

“Well, time will tell.” Mom was sure of her statement.

Did she see something I didn’t? Surely not… we are just friends, aren’t we?

Chapter 9

Reese

I asked Garrison if he could give me a ride home when I saw him in the hall this morning. He agreed but said he would have to stop by his house to run in real quick to get his drum gear otherwise he would be late. I was already breaking a strict rule of riding with a teenager and I knew if I got caught doing it I would be grounded again. I informed Garrison of the rule, and he said he would drop me off a street over. Sounded like a plan to me.

I met Garrison at his truck and only had to wait a few minutes. I had never been in Garrison’s truck, and I thought for a minute how odd that was since we were such good friends. He unlocked the passenger door for me and held it open for me. He turned the radio up singing along to some song I couldn't identify. He accented the parts of the song he liked and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. He had his arm up over the back off the seat, and I wondered what it would be like to be the lucky girl who sat in the middle of the truck right beside him where his arm cradled. To be in his nook like I was on the Ferris wheel.

We pulled up to his house and for the first time I saw a car at his home. It was an

old four door family car. “I’ll be right back.”

‘“K.”

I turned the music back up and listened while waiting for him. I waited for about ten minutes and then checked my phone for the time wondering what was keeping him.

I waited another ten minutes and decided to take my chances and went up to the house. I knocked on the front glass door and looked in but didn’t see anything. I knocked again.

I opened the door just a crack. “Garrison…”

I waited a few minutes listening but heard nothing.

“Garrison…”

I hear a voice from a back room. “Go home, Reese. I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong? Do you need help?”

“No! No! I don’t need anything.”

“Garrison…”

“Go!”

“I am not going until I know you are okay.”

“Just, please go outside and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

I paced the porch back and forth a hundred times waiting for him to come out. Should I just leave and walk home?

Garrison came out and his shirt was soaked. He stood at the end of the porch looking at out in the yard in a blank stare.

“I really think it is best that you go, Reese.”

I walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

He pulled back. “No, I am not okay.”

He sat on the step and put his hands on his head. “Please, Reese, please just go and I’ll explain later.”

I sat beside him and held his hand. I could hear him taking deep breaths and noticed tears rolling down his face from under his hands.

“My mom was here. She was passed out on the living room floor, covered in vomit.”

He turned and looked at me. “Don’t you get it? I AM NO GOOD FOR YOU! Just look at me. Look what I come from. Even as a friend. My dad is in prison for dealing drugs and my mom is an addict. This is my life. I am sick of it. I am sick of what I deal with everyday.”

“I’m sorry, Gar…”

He stood up. “Stop!  I don’t want to hear it. Now do you see?”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“PLEASE LEAVE, Reese, please…” I could see the look of scared desperation on his face so I got up and without saying a word, I walked to the truck to get my bag and then walked home. There was nothing left for me to say.

~ ~ ~

I felt like I was in a trance walking home.

The first thing I did when I got home was go to the kitchen to hug my mom. She was shocked and teared up.

“Is everything okay, Reese? Not that I’m complaining.”

“No… for me yes everything is okay but not for Garrison.”

“Sit and talk to me.”

She got me a Dr. Pepper and a bag of barbeque chips she buys just for me and sat at the table.

I sat and took a drink of my Dr. Pepper. “Mom, you can’t imagine what he has to go through.” I start to tear up.

Mom didn’t say anything but instead held my hand.

“I know I’m not supposed to ride home with a teenager but I asked him to give me a ride because I had to stay late to correct a paper in math.”

“I know.”

“You know what?”

“I might be old now, honey, but I haven’t always been. You pulling the “around the block crap” with me?”

I couldn’t say anything. I was busted.

“Reese, I did the same thing. I have to trust you now. I hope you have the judgment not to ride with someone you shouldn’t. I have to trust you are going to make the right choices.”

“Mom…”

“Go on.”

“I waited in his truck as he had to run by his house to get drum gear for practice.”

“And…”

“I waited and waited. And nothing… I started to get worried he wasn’t coming out so I went to his door and knocked. Again, nothing. I cracked the door and yelled his name and he told me to go away.”

She was silent. I know she tried to protect me from anything bad.

“I told him I wasn’t leaving till I knew what was going on and that he was okay. He came out on the porch wet like he showered with his shirt on. Mom, he told me that his mom had passed out. I think on drugs or drinking… he didn’t say.”  I stared at my hands that were holding my canned soda.

“He said his dad was in prison for drugs. He said that he was not even good enough to be my friend. That he was bad for me…”

I started to cry. She put her hand on my back to calm me. She had done this all my life rubbing soft circles on it.

“Reese, the world is ugly. You are about to be a junior in high school. You are going to unfortunately see more and more bad the older you get.”

“I just feel so bad for him. I have these feelings for him but he won’t let us be anything more than friends. I get it all now… I already knew his dad was in prison. Dylan, his friend had told Autumn and she told me.”

“Sweetie, things have a way of working themselves out. I am not going to judge him for his parents, just as you shouldn’t. We can’t do anything about it, can we? You’re kind of born with whom you get almost like drawing straws. Some win, some lose.”

I started smiling and laughed just a bit.

“Thank you, Mom, for being a good mom. I definitely won didn’t I?”

“I’m glad you feel that way. Your dad and I try the best we can.”

She kissed me on the forehead and she changed the subject talking about something else entirely.

~ ~ ~

I stayed in that night with my mind reeling about how Garrison was living. I knew there was nothing I could do but let him trust me. I certainly couldn’t change anything. All the feelings I had for him only intensified. To see what he has been going through and what he has become already, such a good person. Most importantly to think enough of me that he wouldn’t date me because he didn’t think he was good enough makes me love him even more. I get why he was pushing me away. I have to just take what he can give, and if friendship is all he can do, then I have to take it.

Not long after midnight, I heard tapping on my window. It was light and it almost sounded like just the wind blowing leaves around. When it continued I looked out and saw Garrison standing outside. I opened my window and smiled at him happy to see him and hoped nothing worse happened.

I leaned out just a bit so my voice wouldn’t echo in my room, and he got face to face with me.

I smiled not sure what was going on but I wasn’t going to back away.

He brought his lips to mine and kissed me. It was soft and sweet. Oh my God, I just had my first kiss! And it was with Garrison!

“What was that for?”

“Reese…”

“Yeah.”

He looked at me with the most honest and sincere eyes.

“I’m so sorry for the way I treated you earlier. You didn’t deserve that and sure as hell shouldn’t have been treated that way.”

“I understand, Garrison. I mean, I don’t understand what you are going through but I understand why you feel the way you feel.”

“I don’t want to get you into trouble so I gotta go, but I just wanted to tell you in person.”

“I appreciate that more than you know.”

“He turns around to walk away. One more thing…”

“Yea.”

“Don’t tell anyone please… The counselor and band director know at school, and my band mates but no one else and I’d like to keep it that way. My life is hard enough without dealing with more people getting into my business.”

“Of course.”

“I appreciate it...”

I watched him walk off willing my feet to stay put. I wanted to run after him and give him a hug and wrap my legs around him to make him stay. I still wanted to comfort him even though I knew that I had no idea how. What are the right words? Are there any?

Reese

The next morning over breakfast Dad was in the kitchen reading his paper. I have always been close to both my parents but my dad just always had a way of answering things in a way to make me feel better.

“Good morning, Reese.”

“Hi, Dad.”

I poured some juice and sat at the table grabbing a muffin Mom had made.

“Did Mom tell you about last night? What I saw at Garrison’s?”

He shook his head yes and looked up from his paper. “Yes, she did. I’m sorry to hear about that.”

“It was really hard to see.”

“I can imagine. Just like how hard it would be to live it. I know all too well.”

“How do you know?”

“Reese, I grew up in a house with my dad being an abusive drunk. When he wasn’t telling me how useless I was he was either slapping me around or passed out.”

“I had no idea.”

“Good, that is how I wanted it. I am only telling you this now so you see there is hope. I beat the odds. I had them stacked against me and I became something, look at the family I have.”

I smiled not knowing what to say.

“Listen, all you can do is be the best friend you can be to him. Don’t pretend to understand because you can’t but you can listen. That is really all you can do. I believe in Garrison and I think he is going to make it. I think he is a good kid.”

“I do too. I really like him.”

“I know it. I can see. I’m not blind.”

I laughed. He pushed his glasses up on his face. “Don’t let my wearing glasses fool you.”

I stood up and hugged him. “You really do think he can beat this?”

“I know he can. I know his aunt. Did he tell you that?”

“No…”

“I told him when he was over for dinner. I knew her through high school. I also knew her brother, Garrison’s dad. I saw what he put his family through and now is putting his own family through. Garrison is just like his aunt.”