An Unconventional Love: A Novella (4 page)

jasmine.

“What is up with you, Jaz? You do realize you just ordered French fries with a side of sour cream and syrup right?”

My mouth watered at the mere mention of what would be coming fresh out of the fryer all hot, golden, and a little crinkly. In fact, my mouth
stayed
watering at the idea of food period. Thank God I had time for an actual lunch break instead of the microwaveable meal or salad I usually got stuck with.

“Girl, doesn’t that just sound delicious? I’ve been having the weirdest cravings all week. Pickles and peanut butter. Beef jerky and chocolate pudding. Tomatoes with just a dab of teriyaki sauce. Mmmm...matter of fact, I may see if they have that here.” I looked around for the waitress that was already annoyed with my off the wall requests as Ariel eyed me from across the table.

“Jaz, if I didn’t know you were pretty much religious about taking your birth control pills, I’d say you were pregnant.” I wasn’t even eating or drinking anything but I felt myself choke at that dreaded word.

“
Pregnant?
Oh hell no. Don’t curse at me like that.” I tilted my head to the sky, directing the conversation to God instead of Ariel. “Lord, please forgive her for committing such a sin. She didn’t know any better.” I felt Ariel’s straw wrapper hit my chin before I finally lowered my head down.

“You are such a fool. But seriously Jaz, you have been taking precautionary measures right?” I couldn’t believe she was coming at me like she was my mother -
okay, maybe not my mother cause my mother wouldn’t give a damn
- instead of my best friend. She even had the nerve to call it ‘precautionary measures
’
like she was a damn ob-gyn.

“Of course I have, Ariel. Nothing has changed but the date on the calendar. And my panties if we’re being technical.”

“What about the date of your last period?”

“Gotdamn Dr. Harper; why don’t you just lay me on the table, cock my legs open and get your speculum out since you’re so concerned.”

Apparently my comedic genius wasn’t entertaining enough for Ariel as she gave me the stiffest look when she said, “Just answer the question, Jaz.”

“Fine. It was umm...now that I think about it, I can’t remember exactly. But I know it happened. I had the bloating and sore boobs to prove it.” Just thinking about how much they had been hurting lately had me rubbing them through my sundress mid-conversation as if we weren’t in public.

“Well yeah it happened, but how long ago? More than a month?” I was really trying to come up with an exact date in my head, but nothing in recent weeks came to mind making me a little nervous.

“I don’t think so. I mean, it’s always been kinda spotty and irregular though.”

“But you’ve been taking your birth control, right?”

I looked around the restaurant as I nonchalantly replied, “For the most part.”

“Jaz! It doesn’t work if you don’t take it consistently. You know that.” I couldn’t believe she was really trying to scold me like I wasn’t the one that usually reminded
her
to take it every day.

“I’ve been taking it, Ariel. Calm down. I’m just...
hungry
and wanting weird things thanks to the stress of law school and work and all that other bullshit.”

“Or you’re pregnant.”

“First of all, one must have sex to get pregnant and thanks to my overly-booked schedule as of late, I haven’t exactly had the time to indulge in such activities.”

“Jaz, you were literally just telling me about the dude that
laid it on you so good you wanted to call his mama and thank her for making him
. Your words.”

“Oh yeah.
Him
. Whew girl.” I had to fan myself with my napkin as I thought about Mr. Robinson; the only name I knew him by other than
Daddy
. Even after seeing him at the Drake concert clearly boo’d up with some Latina, I couldn’t forget about the way he had put it down. I mean, it was like his dick had no end; it just kept going and going like the Energizer bunny. To be real, since I hadn’t had the time to make new memories with anyone else, I had been using those to put me to bed night after night.

Hopefully him and the chick were on a break at the time.

“You at least used a condom right?”

Silence.

“Right?”

I think I’m gonna pass out.

“Jaz, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale.”

Breathe, baby.

Not ‘baby’.

Don’t think of the word ‘baby’.

“Yes I’m fine, Ariel. Just feeling a little...nauseous.” The napkin I had used to fan myself when I was thinking about Mr. Robinson came in handy as I used it to wipe my forehead that had suddenly become beaded with sweat.

“Or pregnant.”

“Would you shut up and slide me your water? Mine is gone.” I was pretty sure that the waitress had been back to refill my glass a few times. But of course, the one time I really needed the water, my glass was empty.

“Yeah, cause you slurped it down like a parched pregnant woman.” I took the longest swig, letting the coolness of the water just sit in my mouth and savor against my tongue before swallowing it.

“Kill that, Ariel. You’re starting to make me mad.”

“Only cause you’re all emotional like a preg….
nevermind
.”

)~o~(

I was sweating - like
pits-of-my-shirt-stained
sweating - and it had nothing to do with the sun that was on its way down outside the window of my classroom. I could hardly pay my professor any attention as my stomach gurgled causing me to gag. After the conversation I had over lunch with Ariel, I had been sick beyond reason, though the mix of random ass foods I had consumed probably didn’t help anything. I was pretty sure what was making me feel even more sick was the fact that everything Ariel had said was possible even if I wasn’t ready to believe it.

Though it had been some weeks since my last sexual encounter, it certainly hadn’t been my safest.

We were caught in the moment.

There was no time to think about something like using protection when I was too occupied with the quest of feeling him inside of me. In fact, I needed him inside of me, stroke for stroke, to relieve every ounce of tension he had purposely built between us.

Now I knew that he could’ve accidentally built something else as well.

A damn baby.

The bile shot out all over my books before I could contain it.

rich.

“Oh my gosh, Rich. This is so embarrassing.”

I had Rae by the arm as I escorted her into the doctor’s office against her will. After finding a pack of condoms in her room during one of my routine sweeps, there was no way I wasn’t putting her on some type of guaranteed birth control.

Condoms were too easy to mess up.

“Do you really think I care if you’re embarrassed or not? You weren’t embarrassed about those condoms I found in your room, so don’t start acting all embarrassed now.”

“Rich, it was a brand new pack. Not even opened. I don’t even know why I had them.” She was really trying to make the whole thing sound so innocent as if I had just skipped over the phase of teenage hormones in my own life. I knew exactly
why
she had them and I knew exactly
who
she planned on using them with.

That damn Justin.

“Neither one of us were born yesterday, Rae. But to ensure we won’t have any hiccups before graduation, you’re getting a birth control shot.” After doing my research, I figured it was the best option for a girl her age.

“
The shot
? I thought I was just gonna get those little stupid pills?”

“You’re not responsible enough for pills.”

“But I can’t get the shot, Rich. It makes you fat!”

“Well I suggest you find something better to do with your time then like come to the gym with me -
where I can see you
- and know you aren’t around some dumb ass boy.” She gave me her usual teenage grunt and growl before plopping down in a seat in the waiting room.

I was headed to the check-in desk when I heard a loud screech coming from behind the office doors.

“I can’t be pregnant. This has to be some kind of mistake!”

“No mistaking this little one’s heartbeat, sweetie. You’re gonna be a mommy.”

“No I’m not! I can’t be a mommy. I don’t know how to be a mommy. There’s not a single mommy bone in my body.”

“We have tons of resources and support options for you. You’ll be fine, sweetie. I promise.”

I grabbed the clipboard of paperwork from the receptionist before I found a spot next to Rae to fill it out. The sounds of the woman’s cry became more and more muffled the further away I got from the desk, but I could tell whoever the doctor was working with was experiencing something like a nightmare.

The scream.             

The conversation.

I couldn’t have written the
scared-straight
moment any better myself.

It was almost like I had hired an actress to play the role.

“See, Rae. Do you wanna sound like whoever is in there regretting the sex she had?” She side-eyed me without answering, snatching the clipboard to fill out the paperwork herself.

Things became distinctively quiet for a moment but as the door flew open, the air seemed to shift. I couldn’t figure out why until I made eye contact with my unpaid actress. Her eyes stayed locked on mine for so long that it seemed as if everything else in the room had disappeared until she began stalking over to me, talking so fast I could hardly understand her.

What I did make out was, “This is all your fault!”

“Huh? Slow down. What are you talking about?”

“I’m pregnant! And it’s yours!” I didn’t know how to react. With an audience, I didn’t really want to react because I was 100% sure I would look like an asshole. After hearing the initial shock of her discovery, I understood why she was so hysterical but for the sake of not making even more of a scene, I needed her to calm down; especially in front of Rae who was already busy snickering at the woman’s attitude.

“Can we umm...go outside and talk about this?” Even with my low, hushed tone, there was no avoiding the sea of eyes watching everything unfold.

“I’m not going anywhere with you! Just know I expect your half of the abortion payment in a week. You know where to find me.”

)~o~
(
             

The drive home was silent but I knew Rae couldn’t wait to talk shit once we got home. 

The irony of me finding out about a possible while scolding her about sex.

With the talk I had with Jamison at the gym in mind, I knew there was a possibility that the baby wasn’t mine, but I still didn’t like the way it had played out.

In front of the whole doctor’s office.

In front of Rae.

And in the unlikely chance that it
was
mine, she really expected me to help her get rid of it?

Not happenin’.

Though my parents were no longer around to judge me for my choices, I knew they would be disappointed from above if they ever found out I did such a thing. If Jasmine was having my baby, then we would get married and raise it together as a family.

Period.

I pulled up to the house and Rae rushed out of the car before I even had it turned off. I couldn’t quite gage her reaction now that the information had settled in but the second I shut and locked the front door, she wasted no time going off.

“So you had the
nerve
to judge me for having condoms and you weren’t even responsible enough to use one your damn self?!”

“Watch your mouth, Rae.” Though my mind was already racing a mile a minute at the idea, I knew I couldn’t let my little sister know that. She was already livid enough for the both of us, pacing back and forth through the living room.

“Hell no! I’m pretty sure I’ve earned every
fuckin’
cuss word in the book after this! A baby, Rich? I mean, really? What do you know about having a baby? A whole ‘nother life to be responsible for?”

“Umm… did you forget I’m responsible for your ungrateful ass?”

She seemed to calm down a little bit at the realization before she replied, “But I feed myself and wipe my own butt. Babies don’t.”

“Babies also don’t have smart ass mouths like yours so it’s practically a fair trade.”

“Yes they do! It just comes out as a cry instead.”

Never thought about it like that.

“Look, I know this is a little crazy but I need you to chill until I can figure this whole thing out, alright?” She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest, taking her usual teenage girl pose.

“
Ugh
, whatever Rich. Just let me know when you find out if I’m really getting a niece or not.”

“You mean a nephew?”

She made a smacking sound with the back of her teeth before she said, “Seriously, Rich? How do you go from figuring things out to banking on it being a boy?”

I shrugged my shoulders before I replied, “I’m just sayin’.”

“Again. Whatever. I’m going to Justin’s and don’t you dare try to stop me.” Just the mention of his name had me ready to knock his little ass out.

“Hey, let’s not get this shit twisted. I am an adult who yes, made an irresponsible decision but at least at a time where I could afford it. You can’t afford a baby.”

She was already walking out of the room, but stopped and turned around to reply, “Well...looks like you’ll be writing two checks then.”