An Unexpected Love (Complicated Love Series #2) (12 page)

Lily is swaying to the music and Karl is moving with her. He keeps grinding against her, and I see him bend down so that his lips are against the skin on her neck. The more I sit here and watch, the more the knot in my stomach tightens.

I have to get out of here.

I feel sweltering hot, and it’s becoming really difficult to breathe. I grab my bag and gulp the last of my second drink down before standing up to leave. Glancing at them one last time, I lock eyes with Karl and I’m paralyzed by his stare. His eyes are my undoing, they always have been. I see the desire in his eyes and I can’t take it while he’s in the arms of my friend. I snap out of it and break the connection before rushing out the door.

Watching Tracy rush out of the club, I want to go after her. I was really happy when I saw Tracy waiting outside. Brandon was boring me and I just needed to get out of the apartment for a while. I haven’t seen her since the dinner and I’ve not had any reason to see her. I asked Brandon when he was seeing her next, but he didn’t seem to respond or care about her. I don’t really understand their relationship much at all.

I phoned a taxi and asked the driver to take me to a club, and it must have been fate to bring me to this exact one. Her friend Lily is a right flirt, but she seems like a great girl. I was being completely flirty back to her, but it wasn’t going anywhere. She seems like she would be a good friend. Being in the club with them was cool and Lily grilled me for a while about Brandon and my work back in Oxford. I can’t believe that she hasn’t met Brandon yet, even though they have been together over a year. It seems really weird.

When Lily called Brandon boring for not wanting to come to clubs, I hated when Tracy defended him. All that stuff she said about him being caring and romantic, I was just plain jealous. I’ll admit it, I didn’t like her being so defensive of Brandon. I sort of wallowed a bit and drank my beer. After going to the restroom, I headed to the bar and ordered another round of drinks and a shot each. One shot wasn’t going to hurt. I was hoping it would make this night a bit more bearable, but I’m going to need to get some more down me before the night is over.

I was shocked when Lily grabbed my hand and ask me to dance with her. Tracy was the person I really wanted to dance with, but I couldn’t ask her. It would’ve looked weird in front of Lily. I looked at Tracy hoping she’d say something, but there was no emotion in her eyes at all. Lily didn’t take long, wrapping her arms around my neck. She was a bit shorter than me, so she had to stand on her tip toes to whisper in my ear. She told me that she was a good dancer and to relax and go with the flow, so I closed my eyes and let her lead. I swayed with her to the music and I loved the way she felt in my arms. Only the problem was, she wasn’t Tracy. But before I knew it, I was grinding my hard-on against her ass loving the feeling it was giving me. Bending my head, I placed my lips upon her shoulder. She smelled different to Tracy and it’s funny how I still remember the way Tracy smelt five years ago. She smelt of lavender, and I noticed that she still does when I saw her the other night at dinner. I was picturing her smile, her lips, and her gorgeous, expressive eyes.

Lost in the sexual high, I suddenly had a prickling sensation rush over my body. It felt like someone was burning a hole right through my clothes. Jerking out of my imagination, my eyes locked with Tracy’s. Her eyes expressed a thousand words at that exact moment and she looked hurt, pissed, upset, loads of different emotions were playing behind her beautiful eyes. Before I have a chance to understand what I’m seeing she’s rushing out the door.

“Karl, what’s wrong?” I snap out of it to see Lily staring up at me with a frown on her face.

“Sorry, but I have to go.” I don’t give her time to respond before I’m making my way out the door of the club to find Tracy. It wasn’t difficult to find her because she was waiting by the curb for a taxi and she’s not looking my way as I rush over to her.

“Tracy, wait!”

Her head whips around and her eyes lock with mine. I can’t see any emotion in her eyes. She’s not giving away how she’s feeling and it’s making me feel a little off kilter.

“Where are you going?” I have no idea what else to say to her.

“Oh…I’m just not feeling well, and I’m going to go home.” She breaks eye contact with me and wraps her arms around herself. She hasn’t got her jacket and I feel dumb for not picking mine up either.

“Why don’t you come inside and pick up your jacket, then I can call you a cab? It’ll be warmer than waiting out here.” She looks a little lost, but I see something flash in her eyes and I’m not quite sure what I’m seeing.

“Fine, I’ll go and get my jacket but I’m coming back outside to wait.” She marches inside and I’m quick on her heels. We give in our jacket tickets, she’s handed her jacket and before I can say anything else she’s marching back outside. I’ve never worked so hard to speak to a woman before, but I can’t stop myself from going after her.

I’m beginning to get angry with her attitude.

What the hell have I done wrong?

“Tracy, wait!” She stops and waits for me to catch up, but she doesn’t turn around. “What the hell is going on? You seemed fine at the club, hanging out with me. What changed?” I don’t expect her to turn around abruptly and start with her pissy attitude.

“I didn’t come here to hang out with you! I came to have a girl’s night out with my friend Lily. Why did you have to be here!”

I look at her in shock. “Whoa, okay, sorry for being here. I didn’t realize you’d be here, but in a way I’m glad you were because I think we should talk.”

“Talk? What the hell do I have to talk to you about?”

I’ve obviously completely pissed her off now. Her face is turning an ugly shade of red, but she still looks fucking fantastic. I’m getting turned on just looking at her.”

“Look…Tracy, I’m sorry for that night five years ago. I was a complete tool, and you didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You have every right to be mad at me, but I was hoping we could put it behind us and be…friends?” I see the shock written on her face when I say the word, friends. She looks lost.

“Friends? Are you kidding me? You don’t understand what it was like to wake up and discover you’d left before even talking to me. It was a mistake, I get that, but why couldn’t you stay and tell me that to my face? Why did you have to leave like you did and make me feel used?”

“Because I was scared, okay!” I shout. I can’t take hearing how she felt. Tracy has calmed a little and looks slightly confused about my outburst. A few people have stopped in the street to watch us, but it’s surprisingly quiet with most people being in the club.

“Scared? I don’t understand.” She tilts her head and looks at me. Taking a deep breath, I blurt out how I was feeling that night. All I wanted to do was see if we could be friends and move on.

“It’s nothing…don’t worry about it.” I scratch the back of my head.

“Do you know what, Karl, just forget it! I don’t know why I thought I’d get any answers from you. You’re so…frustrating! No…I don’t want to be your friend! I don’t want anything to do with you, so can you go and leave me alone!”

She starts walking off down the street and before she can get very far I rush up behind her and grab her arm pulling her to me. Her eyes are wide open and before I know what I’m doing, I crush my lips to hers. Her lips are so soft and…she isn’t kissing me back. So, I slide my tongue along her bottom lip until she moans and opens her mouth for me. She wraps her arms around my neck and I pull her close. Weaving my arms around her waist and bringing her flush against my body. I love her little moans, they’re driving me on. I deepen the kiss and she complies willingly. She’s fucking fantastic, and she’s just how I remember her. I remember everything about that night, and regret my actions. I was a complete ass to her and treated her so unfairly.

I was scared about these feelings that consume me for her and still do. Kissing Tracy again after all these years is making me forget all the mistakes I’ve made since that night. No one has compared to her or even come close, and I’ve thought about her often throughout the years. I don’t know whether I can resist her again. If these feelings are still here after all this time, I’m not sure whether ignoring them is the right thing to do. She could be it for me. It scares the shit out of me, but I have to take the chance…don’t I?

Our tongues are sliding and massaging together and it feels absolutely awesome. I grip her hips and crush her to me. There isn’t a shred of a gap between us. She feels so good in my arms and I don’t want to let her go.

“Ahem,” I hear a voice behind me. We both pull apart quickly and Tracy takes a step away from me. We both glance to the club door to see Lily standing there with her jacket draped over her arm. She looks shocked with her mouth hanging open by what she’s just witnessed. We both look back at each other and stand there panting heavily.

“I wondered where you went Tracy, and thought I’d come and see if you were still here. I can see you’re obviously being looked after.” Lily breaks the silence and she looks at me with her eyebrow raised.

“I-I...” I look at Tracy and she’s finding it hard to say anything. “I…can’t do this!” She walks up to Lily and they link arms. Panicking because I don’t know what just happened, or what she’s thinking, I plead, “Tracy please don’t go.”

She spins around and glares at me. “Don’t!”

I detest the look in her eyes, and my gut tells me that this is not us becoming friends.

“Leave me alone.” She turns and makes her way down the street with Lily. I don’t know where she’s going, but I’m glad she isn’t walking off alone. Dragging my hand through my hair, I decide what to do. I can’t stop thinking about the kiss and the feel of her. I need another drink, but I don’t want to go back into the club. I begin walking in the opposite direction away from Lily and Tracy, and hope that I stumble upon something to drown my sorrows for the rest of the night.

We arrive back at my apartment after calling a taxi to come and pick us up. We didn’t walk very far and I did turn back to see where Karl was headed, I was trying to tell myself that I didn’t care. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to ask to be friends, I should’ve slapped him when he suggested it. He doesn’t know everything I’ve been through since that night, and he probably doesn’t understand why I’m so angry at him. He understands why I’m hurt, and in all honesty, I do forgive him for that night in some ways. I just wish he’d told me instead of leaving.

He said he was scared, but I’m confused as to why. I was glad to get back to my apartment as I’m still shocked about the kiss we shared. Holy smokes it was hot, and I absolutely melted on the spot. The chemistry is still there between us, and I couldn’t get enough, but I was slightly relieved when Lily appeared and interrupted. I need to get my head together and work out how the hell we went from having an argument to having a make out session on the street. Slumping myself down on the couch while Lily heads into the kitchen to make us a coffee, I haven’t had that much to drink, but I need a caffeine fix to de-stress me. Lily brings the two steaming hot mugs in and places one on the coffee table in front of me. I hate hot drinks but Lily insists it’s good to have a coffee after drinking so much.

“Okay, girl…What the freaking hell just happened? I’m dancing with Karl one minute, then he leaves abruptly only to then find him outside making out with you. I thought he knew you were with Brandon?” I can’t look at her.

“He does,” I mumble.

“But…why would he try it on with his stepbrother’s woman? And you were kissing him back?” She’s really confused and I have to tell her something, but I’m not prepared for telling Karl’s and my history. Maybe it would be easier to finally be truthful with her.

“Karl and I met five years ago,” I tell her the whole story of Karl’s and my one night stand. Karl leaving straight after we had sex, and finding him flirting with someone else. Him disappearing in the morning without talking to me about what happened. My pregnancy and the miscarriage I went through. Meeting Brandon and the relationship, or whatever it is, we have together. Seeing Karl again after all these years and finding out he’s Brandon’s stepbrother, and how I felt watching him dancing with Lily, and then the argument and the kiss that Karl sprung on me. The argument we had wasn’t actually revealing, as I never told Karl the real reason why I had walked out of the club. Telling him that it hurt watching him dance with Lily would have been an eye-opener for him, and I couldn’t let him see my feelings.

“Holy hell, I didn’t expect that.” She looks completely gobsmacked. “I can’t believe you went through all that on your own. Does he know?”

I shake my head. “No, and I don’t want him to know. There’s no baby now, so what’s the point in dragging it all up.”

“Why not tell him?” Maybe if you told him and it was all out in the open you would feel better about it. You wouldn’t feel so guilty.” I nearly choke on my coffee when she suggests that I’m feeling guilty.

“I don’t feel guilty. I’m angry that he treated me how he did and then left me to deal with the consequences on my own. Maybe if he had stayed the next morning and actually spoke to me, we could’ve been friends. He could have told me that it was a mistake and I would’ve been fine about it.” I sip my coffee while Lily looks at me strangely.

“Really? Are you telling me that if Karl had said that it was a mistake…that you would have just wanted to be friends with him?” I nod my head and Lily starts laughing. I’m confused as to what she finds funny.

“Oh, Tracy, I may not have known you your whole life, but I know when you are lying to yourself. You’re only pissed with him because you felt something, and you feel stupid because he didn’t feel the same. I bet the miscarriage was hard and I get that, I really do, but I think your anger stems more from the feelings you had for him, and maybe still do now.”

“I
do not
have feelings for Karl, okay! I’m angry because he hurt….” I trail off and shut up when I see Lily’s amused face. “Okay, maybe I felt something then, but I don’t now!” Crossing my arms like a sulky teenager, I glare at my friend who actually has me now questioning why I’m angry.

“Well, my friend…that kiss I witnessed certainly didn’t seem like it was from a person who didn’t have some feelings there still, and I’m pretty sure they’re reciprocated.”

Is she trying to tell me that Karl feels the same?

No way, does he?

It’s not in Karl’s nature to get attached to any females. That kiss was purely because he’d had a few drinks and he knew me, nothing else.

“It was just a kiss…nothing more.”

“It actually makes a lot of sense when it comes to you and Brandon.”

“What do you mean?” She gulps the rest of her coffee down and goes to the kitchen to dump her mug in the sink. She comes back in and lounges on the chair.

“I mean the relationship you have with Brandon. Now you’ve told me what it’s like for you and how you feel about Brandon. It’s because you’ve tried to forget Karl…you want to forget him that much that when getting on with your life wasn’t helping the thoughts that continually plagued you about him, you decided to get a boyfriend to prove you could get over him. Now you are stuck in a relationship that you don’t want to be in. And Karl is here in Los Angeles and you’re scared because you think you might actually end up falling for him.”

I’m sitting here shocked by her words. She has me pegged, and I hate that she understands me so well. I always thought Lily was an in-tune person. I’m speechless, and I’m not sure what to say. Lily saves me from saying anything.

“Get out of this thing with Brandon before you end up hurting him.”

“I won’t hurt him, but I have to end it.” I don’t tell her about the secret meetups that Brandon’s been having with his female friends. It would make him look bad, and I don’t want that. “I don’t want to lose him as a friend. He’s such a good man, very kind and caring.”

“Yeah, they all seem like that.” She rolls her eyes at me. “I haven’t met him, so I’ll take your word. Don’t be scared of your feelings.” She doesn’t give me anytime to respond. “Right, I’m off. I’m in work tomorrow, so I have to get some beauty sleep. I’m not as lucky as some to get the day off.” She grabs her jacket and breezes out the door before I can even say anything. I turn around and drink the rest of my cold coffee. With the conversation going how it did, I totally forgot about it and cold coffee actually tastes gross, so I take it to the kitchen and wash the mugs. My phone beeps from the living room, I haven’t checked my messages all night. Fishing it out of my bag, I see two text messages. The first one is from Brandon.

Brandon:
Hey Tracy, are we still on for tomorrow morning? I think we really need to talk and I was hoping not to leave it too long? I can meet you at the coffee shop we usually go to at about nine if you can make it? Brandon x

Oh, this doesn’t sound good. I need to see him myself and finally end it. It’s for the best, so I type a reply telling him that I’ll meet him tomorrow morning. I open the other message, but I don’t recognize the number.

Karl:
Hi beautiful, it was great seeing you tonight. I’m sorry for arguing with you outside. I know that I was an ass back then, and I do want to make it up to you somehow. I really want us to be friends. Karl x

Staring at the screen, I can’t believe he has messaged me.
How did he get my number?
I like that he’s apologized for our argument earlier, but I feel guilty for shouting at him. I decide to message him back.

Me:
I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. How did you get my number?

It doesn’t take long for another message to come through.

Karl:
I kind of snatched Brandon’s phone when he was in the shower. I had to say I’m sorry and make sure you weren’t still pissed at me.

I smile at the fact that he snatched Brandon’s phone just to talk to me. Even though I’m angry at him, he still knows how to make me smile.

Me:
Oh, very sneaky, Mr. Stanford. FYI…I’m not pissed at you.

I don’t have to wait long for a reply.

Karl:
Phew, I can sleep easier now. Look about the kiss…I’m sorry. It was stupid, and I don’t know why I did it. It won’t happen again.

My suddenly cheery mood is short lived by that last message.

Me:
That’s cool…don’t worry about it.

I don’t know how I feel about our kiss, but hearing him say he was stupid for kissing me and that it won’t happen again, has sure told me what he thought. I’m so stupid for thinking it meant anything. I’m feeling what I felt all those years ago again… stupid. My cell beeps again.

Karl:
That’s great. I will see you around. Good night, Tracy. x

I don’t have the energy to reply, so I toss my cell on the couch and make my way to my bedroom. Stripping out of my clothes, I slip under the covers and lay there staring at the ceiling while wondering why I’m so stupid to think that Karl would want me like that. He’s always been a ladies man, and I hate myself for believing that he’d be any different because it’s me. I need to accept that this
thing
that keeps happening when we’re around each other is nothing and will never be anything even though deep down, that’s what I’m hoping for.