Read And Blue Skies From Pain Online

Authors: Stina Leicht

And Blue Skies From Pain (35 page)

BOOK: And Blue Skies From Pain
11.06Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads
“I don’t want to go about it at all.”
Nodding, again she gestured for him to sit. “Hear me out before you run, puppy.”
“I’m not running, and I’m no puppy!”
“Sit and listen, then.”
He opened his mouth to shout at her again but one thought stopped him.
I can get answers here and nowhere else.
He clamped his teeth together and sat.
She smiled a crooked smile, making the mischief more prominent in her eyes. “Before we begin, I’ve a question. Why refuse to fight? Are you a coward?”
“No!”
“I thought not,” she said, undisturbed by his fury. Her voice was quiet and steady. “Would it have something to do with that bitty nail hanging from your neck?”
“And if it does?”
“I’d say you’ve more sense and wisdom about you than I first thought.” She stared at him again, but her gaze was less judging the second time. “You have options. And I’ve ideas to discuss with you regarding the trials, but we will talk about that later. For now, understand you’ll not have to serve as a soldier. Your kind make better scouts in any case.”
“And what kind is that?”
Púcas, of course,” she said. “Has your da not told you the simplest of things? You’re gifted with the ability to shape shift.”
“I know.”
“Then show me.” She nodded at him. “Change form.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
Liam sighed. “I can’t.”
“You can’t?” Ceara’s face bunched into an incredulous expression.
“I haven’t been able to call it up lately. And whenever I have in the past, I can’t control it.” Liam felt his face burn. “I know what it is that I am, but I don’t know what it fucking means. Or how it works. Or why. No one has told me shite. How is it I’m supposed to know anything? And why would I want to? That fucking monster has brought me nothing but pain and trouble. And I wanted it gone. So, I sent it away. But now that it’s gone half the time I feel like I’m falling apart. Nothing makes sense anymore. I see things. Nothing feels… right. I don’t feel I’m myself.”
“Oh.” Ceara blinked.
“What the fuck do I do?”
Ceara took a deep breath and released it. “Come with me.” She got to her feet and held out a hand to help him up.
He accepted her help, got to his feet and then retrieved Conor’s leather jacket from the grass. “Where are we going?” he asked, slipping into the jacket.
“I know someone who should be able to help. A druid. His name is Lochlann.”
“And what can he do?” Liam followed her to a path that traced a winding way up the old mountain. It was steep, and he had to run to catch up with her. All the while he wished he’d gotten more sleep.
“You’ll see,” she said. “He’s a mortal. From the Other Side. Hasn’t been here all that long, but he has great power and much knowledge of both worlds. It was one of the reasons he was brought over.”
“There was another reason?” Liam asked, panting.
“It’s a common enough story,” Ceara said. “Róisín Nic Cuinn fell in love with him, and he with her.”
 
In spite of Ceara’s warning, the druid, Lochlann, was not what Liam had imagined at all. To begin with, he was young, younger than Father Murray. Lochlann was no older than his late twenties, if Liam were any judge. For another thing, he was wearing small, round, wire-frame glasses, blue jeans, work boots, and what looked like a white button-down shirt under his open, brown druid robe. He had long red hair that fell to the middle of his back, an untrimmed beard the likes of which a hermit would be envious of, and a Cork accent.
Lochlann signalled for them to take places near a small peat fire deeper inside the cave. A narrow crack in the ceiling allowed afternoon light to filter down, and the smoke to filter up and out. Tree roots and cobwebs hung from the ceiling. Creatures fluttered and shifted in the blackness that stretched out behind and beyond the peat fire’s light. Somewhere water dripped onto stone, echoing up through the back passage and the depths below. Based upon the claw marks on the walls, Liam guessed the cavern’s previous tenant had been a large bear.
“Quite a place you have here,” Liam said.
Lochlann didn’t rise to the jibe. Instead, he stared at Liam for several minutes without speaking. When he did finally speak his tone was almost bored. “Look into the copper bowl and tell me what you see.” He pointed down at a large copper basin resting on a wide section of tree trunk obviously being used for a table. It was filled with water.
“Why?” Liam asked.
“It is up to you,” Lochlann said with a shrug. “Stay or go.”
Liam glanced at Ceara who nodded encouragement. He stepped closer to the tree trunk and gazed into the bowl. The light inside the cave was mirky at best, but he could make out details easily. “I see water, and the bottom of a fucking copper bowl. What the fuck is that supposed to do?”
Ceara started to protest, but Lochlann put up a hand to stop her.
“Look again,” Lochlann said. “This time, take a slow breath before you do.”
Peering into the bowl, Liam didn’t expect to see anything different. Which was why when a horrible monster with the distorted face of a black wolfhound and red glowing eyes glared up at him, he jumped and stifled a scream.
“Is there a problem?” Lochlann asked in his musical Cork accent. Liam could have sworn the man was mocking him.
Wee fuck.
Liam stepped farther away from the bowl. “What was that?”
“You know perfectly well,” Lochlann said.
“No I don’t,” Liam said.
Lochlann shrugged. “Something you’ve hidden. Something you… run from. Something you’re afraid of.”
“I don’t know what you’re playing at,” Liam said. “But you’d better stop with the fucking games, or I’m leaving.”
Lochlann turned to Ceara. “We’ve work to do, he and I. It will go easier for him if you’re not here to see it. This may take some time. Come back before dinner. If he’s not finished by then he never will be.”
“What?” Liam asked.
Ceara nodded and turned to go.
“Where are you going?” Liam asked.
Pausing, Ceara turned to face him. “Lochlann can help you. I can’t do a thing with you until you get yourself sorted out. And he’s the only one who can do it. Understand?”
Liam swallowed and combed his hair from his face with his fingers. “All right.” He watched her leave with a sense of foreboding.
“Are you ready to begin?” Lochlann asked.
Liam shrugged. “Ceara didn’t explain why I’m here.”
“It’s easy enough to see for anyone with the sight.” Lochlann motioned him closer to the copper bowl.
Taking a position next to Lochlann, Liam was uneasy. “How is staring at that
thing
supposed to help?”
“It’s time to start listening instead of talking,” Lochlann said. He waved a hand over the bowl and whispered something Liam didn’t catch.
The air inside the cave grew heavy and gathered intensity until Liam thought he’d hear it crackle like static. The hairs on the backs of his arms stood up on end. He had a hunch something bad was going to happen, and he didn’t like it at all.
“Now,” Lochlann said. “Look into the bowl again. This time, don’t flinch. Don’t pull away. Look and tell me what you see.”
“You’re sure this is going to help?”
Lochlann shrugged.
Holding his breath, Liam slowly leaned toward the bowl. The creature was there again. “I see a fucking monster.” He sensed more than saw Lochlann nod.
“Ah,” Lochlann said.
“What do you mean?”
“The creature reflected in that water is you,” Lochlann said.
“Look. Don’t you think I already know that?”
“So you say,” Lochlann said. “You’re a púca, a shape shifter. You assume shapes. The shapes aren’t separate beings. It’s as if you’ve emptied every bad feeling, every aspect of yourself you hate into another form and then you discarded it. That isn’t normal.”
Liam winced.
“Good and evil are part of all mortals. They are aspects of the Fey and all beings who reside in this world as well as the mortal world,” Lochlann said. “None of us is whole without our strengths and weaknesses. You’re… splintered.”
“Don’t you mean broken?”
“Not necessarily,” Lochlann said. “But you can’t remain like this for much longer. If you do, you’ll go mad.”
Liam laughed. It didn’t do much to hold back the panic. “I’m not already?”
“Confused, perhaps, but not mad. Not yet,” Lochlann said. “The problem is, if the situation continues as it is something will have to be done about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ever wonder why so many mortal stories about the Fey are dark and made of nightmares? This is why.” Lochlann pointed at Liam’s chest and jabbed him over the heart. “You are why. Go mad and live. You’ll be the nightmare. The rage will consume you. You’ll destroy everything and murder everyone in your path. You’ll kill until you’re stopped.”
“Stopped? How?”
“Bran, as
rígfénnid,
will be forced to execute you.”
“And…” Liam paused and swallowed. “How do I prevent that from happening?”
Lochlann gave him a small smile. “You finally seem to comprehend the seriousness of the situation.”
“You present a convincing argument.”
Lochlann motioned toward the copper bowl. “Drink.”
“How much?”
“All of it.”
Liam touched the copper bowl and shuddered. Its metal surface was warm as if it’d been cooling some time after having been in the fire. There was something uncomfortable about it. Something sickening. He didn’t like the feel of it. Regardless, he brought the rim of the bowl to his lips. For an instant it smelled of stale beer and cigarettes. The monster’s reflection leered back at him. Liam closed his eyes.
“Don’t,” Lochlann said. “You must see the contents of the bowl as you drink.”
For fuck’s sake,
Liam thought.
I’ll choke if I have to stare at that fucking thing.
“It won’t work otherwise,” Lochlann said.
Liam opened his eyes, once more brought the bowl to his lips and began to drink. It tasted nothing like it smelled.
Thank God,
he thought. In fact, it didn’t taste at all. As he drank he felt the press of warm copper against his mouth and heard a distant roaring that reminded him of gushing water. It grew in pitch until it sounded as if the entire ocean were pouring into his brain. Something changed. His skin began to prickle. Now the water tasted flat and was slightly salty. He remembered the water he’d drunk in the facility, but then became distracted by the familiar whisper of the monster in the back of his brain.
You thought you could put me away,
it said.
Fuck you. I did put you away,
Liam thought back.
Only for a wee while.
The creature snarled.
I’m back because you need me.
I don’t.
You do. Without me you would have let him—
Liam choked.
“Don’t stop,” Lochlann said. “Keep drinking.”
Shut your fucking gob,
Liam thought at the creature.
You don’t know shite.
The monster laughed.
In an instant, Liam found himself in a white room with rough iron bars.
Long Kesh,
he thought with panic.
I’m in Long Kesh. No. I’m in a cave with a hippie named Lochlann who styles himself a fucking druid.
But Liam knew the room. There was no denying it. He was in a cell, a part of the infirmary. Blood was smeared and splashed across one of the walls. He was standing over someone. A guard. The word “FAIRY” in crooked letters sliced deep into living flesh. Screams. Pain.
Saunders.
“I can’t.” The feeling of entrapment squeezed Liam’s chest. He couldn’t breathe.
It was Lochlann from somewhere in the distance. “What do you see?”
“Nothing! I see nothing!”
Lochlann’s voice was insistent. “You must see something.”
“I’ll not fucking tell! I’ll die first!”
“Did you kill someone?”
“I’ll not tell!”
“Don’t shy away from it,” Lochlann’s voice insisted. “Keep drinking. You can do this.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You do.”
“I can’t.”
“You can,” Lochlann said. “As long as whatever this is stays in the dark, as long as you can’t speak of it, this thing will tear you apart. Do you understand?”
“No! I won’t! I can’t! It’s too—”
Painful. Awful. It can’t be true. The shame of it.
BOOK: And Blue Skies From Pain
11.06Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Charm & Strange by Stephanie Kuehn
Black Out by John Lawton
The Encounter by Norman Fitts
Dead Spaces: The Big Uneasy 2.0 by Pauline Baird Jones
Till Human Voices Wake Us by Victoria Goddard