And Call Me in the Morning (4 page)

Taye nodded, no comment, and turned to go. Maybe it was because he didn't pry. Didn't ask. Either way, sometimes a man—even one like Eli—had to make snap decisions without checking the grand scheme. Not as if that hadn't gone a hundred percent out the window already today.

Bad choice of words.

“Wait up.” Eli didn't say it loudly, but Taye halted just the same and looked back at him. “C'mere.”

Brows slightly furrowed in curiosity, Taye did as he'd been told. Eli could tell he was still his own man, doing this because he chose to and not because he was intimidated. Tough kid indeed.

Trouble was, once Eli had him there, he had no idea where to start. Helped that Taye waited and let him find the words. Eli pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay, this goes no further than the two of us, right?”

“Of course,” Taye said, and nothing more. Eli could really grow fond of this one. Go figure. He was no Zane, but then again, who was?

Eli started once, twice, and stopped both times. This wasn't something he did, even if he needed to. The times, they were a-changin', but still a work in progress. “Christ. Help a guy out, would you?”

“I don't know what this is about.”

“Please.” Eli aimed a narrow look at Taye. “You're an intern, so I know you're not stupid. Take a wild guess.”

“Oh.” Comprehension dawned. “Huh.” Taye parked his ass on the back edge of a couch. “Exactly what do you want me to say?”

“Hell if I know.” Eli's shoulders slumped. Just a little. “Pick something. We can play hot and cold.”

Taye chuckled. “Or I can tell you how I think it is.”

“So we're still doing hot and cold. I can work with that.”

“Right.” Taye studied Eli, taking his measure. “Something happened after you left. Dr. Novia left too, so whatever it was, it involved him.”

“Way too hot there, kid. Were you watching us?”

“Nope. I've just been there, is all. I'm not asking for details. If you want me to help, you have to let me help.”

Advice given to every patient. It rankled, but the truth of it couldn't be denied. “Sorry. Proceed.”

“Here's what I think you want to ask,” Taye said slowly, visibly picking and choosing his words. “What was it like for me the first time I realized a guy hit my buttons?”

Eli licked the tip of his finger and pressed it to his chest with a small, mock sizzle. “Except I'm not into guys. Never even crossed my mind, and I'm forty-fucking-three. That's pretty late in the game to experience this particular epiphany.”

“No, it's not.”

“Excuse me?”

Taye shrugged. He popped off the couch and headed for the coffeepot, almost drained dry but with half a Dixie cup's worth in the bottom. He wrinkled his nose at the mess and switched off the pot to make some fresh. “I've known older who still didn't have a clue.”

“I was married.”

“And? There's guys who've been married for thirty years. Twenty. Fifteen. Never at all. You're not exactly unusual.”

Oddly enough, that was good to know.

“But I do get that this is out of the norm for you. Right?”

“Spot on.”

Taye nodded. “So you're not into men. But you're thinking maybe you're into Dr. Novia.” Taye kept it down, which earned him more of Eli's appreciation. “That is what you're getting at, isn't it?”

“Frank little bastard, aren't you?”

“Playing coy is a delaying tactic. You're not the first bi-curious guy I've counseled.” At Eli's puzzled look, Taye explained, “Gay-Straight Alliance in college and then in med school. Trust me, this is old hat.”

“Maybe for you. Not for me.”

“It's not the first time I've heard that, either.”

Fine. Eli cut to the chase. God help him, he was asking to be schooled in romance by a guy half his age. “What should I do? And don't tell me, I already know. You've heard that before too.”

“I have.” Taye reached for the stethoscope hanging around his neck and hung on to both ends. “The answer's usually different each time, though.”

“Great. And in this case?”

Taye shook his head. “It's not my answer. You're the only one who can figure it out.”

Eli let his hands slap down on his thighs. “Well, thank you, Yoda.”

“I wasn't done, asshole. Oh shit. I mean Dr. Jameson.”

“Kid, I think we're way past being polite. Call me Eli.”

“As long as you stop calling me 'kid.'”

“Fair enough.”

Taye tipped him a cockeyed grimace. “Eli. What I can tell you is this: don't let being afraid scare you away from a good friend. You'll regret that more than anything.”

“Is that what you tell all the guys questioning their sexuality?”

“Nope. It's what I tell everyone.” Taye let go of his stethoscope. “Look. I heard what Dr. Holly said to you. Couldn't exactly avoid it, you know? You and Dr. Novia, you do look at each other the way Richie looks at me, and me at him. If I
was
going to tell you what to do—”

“Which you're not.”

“Which I'm not,” Taye agreed. “It'd be not to make any snap decisions either way. Take your time and think. Because make no mistake, Dr.—Eli. This is huge.”

“Yeah,” Eli said. “I know.”

Taye gestured to indicate he was done. Good enough. “Want some coffee?”

Eli had had enough that he doubted he'd be sleeping that night, but what the hell. The batch Taye had made actually smelled good. “Sure thing.” He wasn't sure what made him ask. “Richie, that's the waiter? He teach you how to make decent coffee?”

“That he did.” Taye offered Eli a cup. God. Tasted as good as it smelled. “For what it's worth…Richie and I were friends first.”

“And now you…”

“I love him,” Taye said, simple and unashamed. “It was only afterward that I understood I always had. Think about that too.”

Right. Like Eli would be able to
stop
. He lifted his cup to Taye and drank deeply.

Eli tugged on his second glove and stamped his boots in the fresh layer of snow still falling from the sky in slow, lazy drifts. A Chicago boy, snow didn't bother him. It'd be a hell of a thing to slip and fall on his ass when he was on his way to proposition his best friend.

He made a face to himself.
Proposition. Nice word choice there, Eli
. More like…face the music. That'd do. And in this case, as with all others when the music promised to be rough going, a smart man went bearing gifts.

Eli chuckled under his breath. Not so different from Marybeth, was it? If he'd pissed her off, he'd bring home a single rose or a bouquet of irises, or on the occasion of one spectacular fuckup, he'd managed to scrape together the cash for a tennis bracelet. Lucky him, Zane was a little easier to please. Eli pointed himself in the direction of the Starbucks on the corner facing the hospital and started walking.

As he walked, absently watching the puffs of steam that wisped around his face with each breath, Eli applied his mind to the status quo. After Taye had left, he'd fallen asleep. Hadn't meant to and sure as hell hadn't thought it possible, but either good coffee miraculously wrought from stale beans and a drip pot was a soporific, or Taye had slipped a Valium or three into the pot. Eli wasn't sure which and frankly didn't think he wanted to know. The pot
had
been suspiciously clean when Eli woke. Either way, the quick nap helped. Gave him a brain reset, as it were. A fresh perspective.

And when he'd glanced out the window and seen Zane working at the station beneath the free clinic's skylight, slumped in a chair and hunched over a stack of charts, Eli had known: reset or not, the new way in which he saw Zane hadn't changed.

More important, neither had the old. The nap had let that surface. No matter what else, Zane was the closest friend of Eli's life. So maybe it was a little weird to lean on the guy who'd thrown you into a tailspin. So what? He could count on Zane through the worst of anything else.

Only made sense to do that now.

Granted, the coffee wasn't just a peace offering. Zane wasn't the only one who could play mad scientist and work up experiments. As one last test before diving right into the lion's den, Eli wanted to get a good look at the world and make sure he knew where he stood. Zane deserved no less.

Comparison and contrasts. Go.

Could I be attracted to Diana? he asked himself, waiting for the light. Several idiots decided they'd scramble across the walk during a lull in traffic. Great. They'd probably be scraping the bastards off the pavement later on.
Diana. Hmm.

No, he decided. Diana might be pretty with her pixy haircut and her tight little curves and her sassy smile, but she was one hell of a firecracker and she liked 'em young. High maintenance and quick to fly off the handle. Not like Zane, who'd sit calm and quiet and think his way through the situation at hand. He might come up with something as explosive as Diana, but hey, at least his fuse was on a sensible rigging.

Am I attracted to Holly? Eli asked himself once he was across the street, the fragrance of Pike Place already rich in his nose as the Starbucks door opened and shut on a stream of foot traffic. Jesus, why didn't they just install revolving doors already and be done with it?

Holly…no
. That one didn't take too much thought. He'd have to take Keith out of the picture, and frankly Keith was the one guy around who could probably take Eli in a fight. Also, he'd overheard far too many details about Keith and Holly's sex life to know that woman might be serene and sweet on the surface, but she liked her whips and chains at home. Nothing against it, just very much not his style.

Eli smirked. Hell of a world when considering a gay hookup with his straight friend was the lesser of two kinks, wasn't it?

What about Taye
? Less surety there. Eli guessed Taye was a cute little twerp, but he was taken, and it didn't feel right considering even he had been able to see how nauseatingly in love Taye and Richie were. Even so…
no.
Taye didn't do it for Eli.
Interesting.

Eli pulled open the Starbucks' door and stepped into a world of steam, java saturation, and consumer-conscious appeal. Worked too. Like others around him, Eli stopped and sighed with satisfaction and appreciation.

“Can I help you?” The barista behind the register managed to stay chirpy after who knew how many customers in a given hour. Cute little thing, her red ponytail pulled through her hat and her shape svelte without being stick-figure skinny. She had a great smile.

Beyond that, she only brought one word to Eli's mind:
jailbait
. “Caramel frappuccino,” he said, naming Zane's favorite. Crazy bastard. Even in the dead of winter, he loved his sweet, creamy-cold drinks. “Venti.”

The barista called his order to the man working the bar. Older, with a little more age and experience worn into his face, he was maybe thirty, and he'd seen some life. Eli thought he spotted a tattoo mostly hidden by the guy's dark hair. He had a crooked smile, friendly brown eyes, and strong hands.

Nice guy, but in this case he did less for Eli than Taye did.
Interesting-er and interesting-er
. He tipped the guy outrageously in silent apology for eyeballing him and headed back out with gift in hand. On his way back to the clinic, he considered stopping at a news kiosk to pick up a pack of Zane's favorite cigarettes, but on second thought, he didn't want to make peace that badly. Heh! Maybe this would be a way to finally coax Zane off the smokes. Who wanted to kiss an ashtray?

Eli slowed in front of the door to the free clinic, midreach for the handle. He could see Zane inside, almost done with his stack of charts. Mostly alone, the clinic briefly quiet. Great timing, then. He rapped on the door and waved the plastic cup.

Zane sat back, his grin bright and broad, and waved Eli in. And Eli felt it again, same as before, only maybe stronger now. Something he couldn't so much define as he could break down into its component elements: warmth. Eagerness. Relief. A feeling like opening your eyes on the first day of summer vacation. Sinking into a soft bed at the end of a long day. The anticipation of waiting for your prom date to come down the stairs.

Eli appreciated that Zane kept his seat as he approached, letting Eli take the lead. Zane did know him well. And with each step, the anticipation and eagerness that both scared the hell out of Eli and spurred him on grew. Might be a short trek from the door to where Zane sat, but by the time Eli reached Zane he was equal parts wreck and as calm as the eye of a storm.

“That for me?” Zane reached for the frappuccino. He kept his calm gaze on Eli, weighing him in the balance but not with judgment. Eli knew he could go either way and Zane would accept that.

Gave him a boost of courage. “Yours.” Eli held onto the cup just long enough to give him a reason for his fingers to brush Zane's. The slight inhale told him Zane knew exactly what he was doing and what he was really saying. All of it. “Just so you know, I have no idea what I'm doing here.”

“Idiot,” Zane said around the lip of the cup. His eyes sparkled with gentle mischief. “That's the whole point to doing this with me. We figure it out together.”

For that, Eli almost wanted to kiss him again. Not yet. But soon.